Tonight my former pastor came back and preached for the first time in 5 months. It was really good, but the whole point of me writing this is to write about what happened after the service.
Ok, so last night I relapsed and even thought about attempting suicide. So after service I went and asked him (my former pastor) for a few verses to pray over and for some things to look into. He gave me four verses and a new devotional book. As we were talking he looked at me and asked me if I’m attending a Sunday afternoon group and if so, which one. My reply was, “kind of, I mean, I used to, I mean, I haven’t been able to make it these last few weeks.” It was crazy that he could pick up that I wasn’t getting together with the girls of my church. He then said that he is going to hold me accountable, which is what I need, I need someone to remind me and to make sure I go. This man can read me like no one else can, he was the first pastor I ever heard preach, he prayed with me the night I was saved, he baptized me, he has been there for me through everything! I wish he was still preaching every week… our new pastor is good, but him and I don’t click, his preaching style isn’t anywhere close to how I would preach, and is pretty much the exact opposite of our old pastor.
My former pastor gets me so well, he know how my brain works (partially because his works in an oddly similar way), he asks thought provoking questions, and he provides multiple sources, pieces of evidence, and anecdotes to back up everything he says. His sermons make me think, he hasn’t preached for us in 5 months… This is why I haven’t had a Wednesday night post-service rant in a while…






