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"Free Pen Guy" distributes free pens and false hopes

When you desperately need a writing utensil, he is nowhere to be found. When you least expect it, he is there. He is UW-Milwaukee's "Free Pen Guy." His real name is unknown, but his nick name is rightfully earned.

Scattered throughout campus on random days of the week, he can be found handing out his Microsoft Word crafted paper Bibles wrapped around a pen. The UWM students are always excited for a free pen. As college students, we can’t turn down anything that is free.

"Free Pen Guy" hands out pens containing logos and slogans from doctor’s offices, schools, restaurants, and other odd locations from throughout Wisconsin. It is always an exciting game to see where the pens are from each week. Not so exciting is the game to see if the pen works.

Nothing is worse than sitting down with a new pen in hand from the "Free Pen Guy" and not having it work. Many have lost all hope that they will receive a pen that works. Don’t be fooled; you may think it functions properly, but write two more sentences and you will soon learn the definition of false hope.

Maybe the student body should convince "Free Pen Guy" to become "Free Pencil Guy," since pencils always work and as avid test takers, UWM students need more pencils. Until that day, "Free Pen Guy" will continue to deliver pens and disappointment to those who pass by him.

By: Lauren Miller

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I need this lion at the Klotsche center, where I go to work out and am surrounded by beautiful, skinny people

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WHEN I FINALLY ACCEPTED A PEN FROM THE PEN GUY

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WHEN I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW THIS MORNING

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WHEN MY FRIEND ASKS ME IF I WANT TO GO TO A FITNESS CLASS AT KLOTSCHE

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Check out this snow sculpture in Estabrook Park

From Imgur

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WHEN A KID CLAIMS HE "DIDN'T GET THE EMAIL" ABOUT THE TEST WE HAVE

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WHEN I'M SITTING IN ANY LECTURE