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Rate my mombod 1-10 💕 👅🥛
I had made reservations for a nice dinner out at a brewpub yesterday evening for Partner and myself, but we noticed there was no visible parking nearby. No problem, either we drive and use valet parking or if there's no valet, take a Lyft. So I called the number on the website to ask about the whole parking situation, but it went to a voicemail. Which for a restaurant is a little unusual.
Okay, so maybe it wasn't open yet. I called a second time two hours later, then tried sending a quick email to the address on the site, then had a nap.
When I woke up, the email had bounced, which was wildly unusual for a restaurant still in operation. So I called one last time. And I got through...to a different restaurant owned by the same company (one of those 'entertainment group' situations). There followed one of the weirdest calls about a dinner reservation I've ever had.
Me: is this Brewpub X?
Host: no, sorry, this is Brewpub Y.
Me: Oh, it's just, the number is on Brewpub X's website and I was trying to reach them. Do you happen to have their number?
Host: I, uh, let me try and find one for you, hold please?
Me: Uh, sure. (To Partner) I'm on hold while someone tries to connect me.
Partner: Yeah, I can hear him through your phone. It sounds like this place is sketchy.
Me: It sounds like it's about to Close Abruptly. You worried about health code?
Partner: Little bit yeah.
Host: okay, is the number you've been calling [number I've been calling]?
Me: That's the one.
Host: I'm afraid that's the only number we have for them either.
Me: I hate to ask, but is this place still in business? Because their email doesn't work either.
Host: oh yeah for sure! I was working at that location yesterday. I think they just don't have a phone.
Me: They don't have a phone?
Host: I think they took it away.
Partner, fascinated: (mouthing) They?!
Me: Well maybe you can help me, I just wanted to ask about parking. Is there valet, or parking nearby?
Host: I'm afraid there's only street parking, no valet either. I can recommend a good lot in the area --
Me: Nah, we'll probably get a ride share. Thank you for your help, though!
Host: Anything else I can do for you?
Partner, hissing gleefully: ask if the food's good ask if it's good!
Me: Uh, my date wants to know if the food is good.
Host: Oh, absolutely! In fact it's even better than it was!
Partner: *silent scream*
Me: Great, thank you! You have a nice day. *hanging up, turning to Partner* Better than it was?!
Partner: BETTER THAN IT WAS WHEN?
Me: Before they took the phone away, I guess.
Partner: Why would you say that to a potential customer?
Me: What restaurant doesn't find a telephone necessary?
Partner: Should we try eating there still and like, embrace the adventure?
Me: I am not embracing food poisoning. Let's go somewhere else. You think I should cancel the reservation formally?
Partner: HOW? THEY TOOK THE PHONE AWAY.
So we went to Partner's favorite sandwich cafe and had quiche and fruit salad and pita with hummus and everyone had a phone.
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