Mommy Blog Post: Person C
Three Questions/Comments/Improvements to the Blog Post:
1.) I think it would be a good idea to restructure the blog so as not to include all the writer's talk of not posting. She could have a quick, "wow it has been awhile!" comment, and then move on to more interesting things.
2.) Do you think that it would be a good idea to focus a whole sub-heading on just the writer's Development of Vision Problem? She only makes a small comment on it; although, it does include her only use of a link to another webpage. I think it might be a good idea to include that in a section on change. (Considering her view of the world has quite literally changed dramatically over the ten years she has had the blog). This subheading could also pair the change in vision with the changes and consistencies she mentions in the last paragraph. That would be her the changing reasons in why she is broke or lacking sleep due to her children as babies in the past, as well as her older children in the present time.
3.) I think it is a good idea to include a subheading about Kids; they grow up so fast, as the writer does spend a lot of time focusing on her children now and then. What do you think about also including her milestones as a woman outside of her children's lives. Such as her annual girl's beach trip. I think that has a large impact on the post.
Three Possible Titles of the Blog Post:
1.) A Busy Family Wrap Up: Ten Years in the Making
2.) Happy 10th Blogaversay!
3.) Children Age, Birthday Candle's Never Change
Three Strengths of the Blog Post:
1.) Use of code names for her children. Gives the post a more personal edge, creates an idea of characters in a story that the author has been telling. Big D is much more interesting and anonymous than using an actual name (gives readers more of a chance to identify their own children in the blog posts).
2.) Casual tone. Author writes about her life and her family as if her readers are intimately acquainted with them. Creates a casual feel to the blog, and makes it easier and more interesting to read. Ideal for skimming, which is the style of reading most blog readers use.
3.) Comments. Author has a following of readers that have wished her a "happy blogaversary". One of the comments also mentions that they have been reading her posts the whole ten years. This could make other readers more interested in previous and future posts by the writer.
Three Weaknesses of the Blog Post:
1.) Grammar. The blog looks really lazy. It appears that the writer did not care to read over what she posted. Examples are using "and" to create multiple long run-on sentences. Another example is weird uses of upper-case letters "soccer (Soccer: it's the new volleyball...". Hard to read.
2.) Structure and flow of argument. Author talks about how she has fallen off of the "posting wagon" in the beginning of the article. In the middle of the article she talks about celebrating her 10th anniversary of blogging and is not sure what she would like to do to celebrate. It seems to the reader that the anniversary does not mean very much considering it could very well mean celebrating ten years of having a blog and only writing in it occasionally. Does not create a very strong argument for the Mommy Blog Anniversary: 10 Years and Counting! subheading.
3.) Inconsistent writing. Author starts off the post with an analogy explaining that she feels she is having trouble committing to blogging on a regular basis. She then states that she does not like it when bloggers write about all the reasons why they have not been posting and miss out on actually writing a post. She states she will not do the same. The next two paragraphs explain reasons why she has not been posting (busy with her child's interests and needs, her own inability to stay up due to her old age, etc). This inconsistency makes the author seem hypocritical: she condemns others for a trait that she then exemplifies in her own writing.
All Photos used are courtesy of Flickr Commons. Image of Family Christmas by unknown photographer.
