Loop
for @potential-fate
More time. That's what Zack longed for, when he went to the witch, cried on her shoulder and bled in her cauldron, more sunsets, more dinners, more arguments and afternoons in bed. Zack had wanted- Zack had meant a remission or a cure, a miracle. The flesh back in Ev's cheeks, the warmth in his blood, the spring in his step, the color in his cock. But it certainly is miraculous!!! Isn't it fucking miraculous, Waking up the same morning, The same morning. The same rot in both their mouths (forgot to brush my teeth and he's dying dying dying) the same pain in their backs, (slept all night in the hospital chair and he's got that drip in his spine) the same chattering nurses outside the door, the same husband, lying in bed, dying of late stage stomach cancer. Thesamethesamethesamethesamethesamethe- And every night Evan dies at exactly 8:09. His organs give out. His blood freezes. The little face he's got left over the laughing lines of his skull goes slack. In Zack's arms, on their sofa, on boats and in planes, wrapped around their dog or their daughter, doing his best to make love in a high-priced hotel suite, watching Zack eat a soft pretzel with mustard in his honor at their favorite park, in any other country they could reach before eight in the evening- Twelve hours, the same twelve hours, stretched out like taffy, stretched out till something - snaps! Evan's neck snaps like spaghetti, he takes poison from Zack's tongue, steps in front of cars and trains, off roofs, loves him loves him loves him, sick and dying, hand in hand, all the way down.
Nothing works. Zack blinks out, he disappears, he escapes; but Evan's always there, a cooling sack of skin and bones, chained to the same forever-of-a-day. "Do you trust me?" "Of course I trust you." Sweet Evan. Sweetsweetsweetsweet Evan.
The only way they're getting out of this is together.
And he loves him, he loves having Ev inside of him so much-
Zack smiles, keeps contact with Evan's sunken eyes and he kisses the knuckles of his husband's cold, dying, delicate hand, sucks a finger into his mouth-
-and bites down.
