#practice drabbles

[chloe-clegane]

Give me Rayllum prompts!

I want to do some practice drabbles. Give me some feels and stuff and I will deliver you words.

[chloe-clegane]

Send me Rayllum writing prompts and receive cute

Gimmie. Put it in my asks!

[wizardofahz]

CM: Tim Tam Slams

A/N: @imthegodofbacon requested JJ and her teenage daughter having a girls day. Sorry this took so long. Writing fluff is far from my strong suit.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Tim Tams!”

“What?”

JJ barely had the chance to get the word out before Stevie dragged her down the next aisle. The younger blonde crouched in front of the selection.

“Tim Tam Slams are the best! Caramel’s my favorite, but you should try all of them.” 

“What are you...” JJ trailed off as Stevie shoved packets into the basket JJ was carrying, already filled with hot cocoa, marshmallows, whipped cream, and the like. She regretted not getting a cart. “Do we really need all of these?”

“Yes, Mom,” said Stevie as she stood and proudly surveyed their haul. “You need to try all of them, remember?”

...

“Okay,” said JJ as she prepared their hot cocoa. “Now what are these Tim...” She trailed off, gesturing for Stevie to finish for her.

“Tim Tam Slams.” 

“Right, those. Are they something you learned about in school?”

“No, Mom,” said Steve, rolling her eyes. “I had them at Aunt Emily’s. Didn’t she tell you about them?”

JJ shook her head. Their drinks usually involved more alcohol.

Once the hot cocoa was poured into two mugs, Steve walked JJ through the basics.

“You bite opposite corners off.” Stevie demonstrated with her own cookie. JJ followed along. “A little bit more,” Stevie instructed, waiting until JJ did so before continuing, “And then you use it as a straw.”

JJ looked at her skeptically. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” Stevie echoed, wanting to leave the rest as a surprise. “Try it.”

JJ dipped one bitten corner into her cup and sucked up the hot cocoa through the other end, surprised when it actually came through, the taste enhanced by the chocolate, melted biscuit, and filling from the cookie. 

Then suddenly the Tim Tam was melting in her hand. “Oh my God,” she blurted before quickly cramming the rest of the cookie into her mouth.

JJ’s shocked expression and the mess of melted chocolate covering her hands and mouth had Stevie laughing. 

“That was amazing,” JJ declared.

“Right?” Stevie grinned. “See why we need so many now?”

“Oh yeah. Give me a caramel one.”

[wizardofahz]

CM: Would You Stop Talking About Me Too?

A/N: imthegodofbacon requested JJ and her teenage daughter talking about suicide.

As the above indicates, this comes with a content/trigger warning for suicide (let me know if I should tag this for blacklisting purposes in the future).

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“What was she like?”

JJ looks up upon hearing the odd tone in her daughter’s voice. 

Stevie is sitting on the bed in JJ’s room where the latter’s folding laundry. Henry and Will are away touring colleges for the weekend, leaving the girls to themselves.

“Who?”

“Aunt Rosaline,” Stevie replies.  It’s then that JJ realizes Stevie isn’t staring through her. She’s focused on the necklace resting against her chest. “You never talk about her.”

JJ’s first instinct is to get defensive. She does talk about Rosaline… sometimes… rarely. Rarely is not never. Then she reconsiders. Her daughter deserves honesty, not a liaison’s carefully constructed statement.

JJ puts down the undershirt she’d been folding and gives Stevie her full attention.

“It’s hard.”

“Don’t you miss her?”

“Of course I do, but as your grandmother likes to say, avoidance is what Jareaus do best. It was even harder when you were kids. What was I supposed to say if you asked how she died? How was I supposed to explain suicide to you children? I didn’t want you to have to think about that kind of thing.“

Stevie’s gaze drops to her feet. “What if I do?”

JJ’s stomach drops.

“If I… If I…” Stevie gives up trying to say the words. They’re too hard to say out loud, and she figures her mother can fill in the blanks anyway. “Would you stop talking about me too?”

As if the thought of her baby girl considering suicide wasn’t painful enough, the quiet tremor in her voice is like salt in the wound.

Immediately, JJ pulls Stevie into her arms. “Oh, baby, no.”

Stevie’s slight frame is trembling, her voice small and cracking. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Of course not.” JJ squeezes her baby girl tighter and drops a kiss on top of her head. 

Anger is the absolute last emotion to come to mind.

But questions though... she has so many questions, so many worries. How long has Stevie been feeling like this? What makes her feel like this? Is she, as Stevie’s mother, responsible? Is there something she should have done differently? Is she going to have to monitor Stevie, watch for signs that she’s been apparently been missing? 

It would be a lie to say she isn’t close to freaking out.

Instead what JJ says is “Thank you for trusting me.”

She doesn’t pry. Opening up has to continue being Stevie’s choice, or this isn’t going to work.

“Thanks for not flipping out,” Stevie mumbles into her chest.

[wizardofahz]

CM: I'm in Here

A/N: I started writing this after "The Forever People" aired, but I wanted to see if the show continued JJ's storyline or not before finishing and posting it. As can probably be guessed from the title, I wrote this while listening to Sia on repeat because I thought this song in particular was fitting, so beware that this isn't going to be a happy piece by any means.

This comes with a content/trigger warning for suicide (let me know if I should tag this for blacklisting purposes in the future).

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Suicidal tendencies. You really are my little sister.”

JJ warily glanced to her right to see Rosaline sitting in the passenger seat of her car.

As life was prone to doing, it had thrown JJ another curveball: the previous case triggering all sorts of negative emotions and unsettling her to the point of reckless behavior. Upon returning to Quantico, JJ had gone for an intense run in an attempt to leave behind the suffocating pressure of everything she felt. She was currently sitting in her car by the trailside, trying to reign in all the emotions she had failed to work out.

Ignoring what Rosaline said, JJ asked, “What are you doing here?”

“You tell me,” Rosaline shrugged and looked around the car. “I’m here because you want me here.”

“I don’t want to see dead people,” JJ responded petulantly, something about her sister’s presence eliciting her inner eleven-year-old.

“Oh, sure,” Rosaline said, feigning hurt. “You’re okay with seeing Askari, but the moment I show up, it’s ‘I don’t want to see dead people.’”

JJ sank back in her seat and averted her eyes out the front window. “I needed closure, and I got it. I told him I wouldn’t let him win.”

Rosaline nodded. “You did, and I’m proud of you, but this isn’t a one and done sort of deal, Jen. You’re going to have bad days.” She paused to gesture at JJ, indicating the present. “And you’re going to have worse days. You’re going to fall off the wagon sometimes.”

“The wagon?” JJ scoffed at the cliche with more self-assurance than she felt. “And what exactly am I addicted to in this scenario?”

“Denial,” the older Jareau answered easily. “It’s what this family does best. That’s what Mom said during her last visit, wasn’t it?”

“I’m not—"

"Ah, ah, ah. Step 1, Jen. Maybe you think you’ve beaten the system, but you haven’t. I’m here to break it to you, baby sister. If you get yourself killed, Henry will still grow up without a mother. Will will still have lost his wife. The BAU will still be without their friend. And Mom will have lost two children before her time. You think it’ll be any different because you’re not the one pulling the trigger or holding the blade?”

Rosaline’s words burrowed under JJ’s defensive walls and made her squirm.

“Shut up,” she snapped.

But Rosaline continued, “There’s a reason the phrase ‘suicide by cop’ still has the word ‘suicide’ in it. Although in your case, I suppose it’d be ‘suicide by unsub’.”

“Shut up,” JJ repeated, holding back tears and beginning to tremble.

“You need help, Jen. Can’t you see these hallucinations for what they are? They’re cries for help.”

JJ averted her eyes once again, this time out the driver’s side window, further away from her sister. She knew Rosaline was right, but admitting it felt like facing another round of torture. Denial was so much easier.

Her voice cracked as she said, “I’m getting help. Spence —”

“Oh please,” Rosaline scoffed. “You know your team. They won’t want to overstep their bounds. When have they ever forced anyone on the team to get help?”

JJ squeezed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to keep the tears from falling.

Taking pity on her baby sister, Rosaline’s voice softened. “Do you know why I’m here? I mean me specifically.” JJ shook her head. “You think you’ll listen to me. You’ve always been stubborn. When we were kids, sometimes Mom would lose her mind trying to get you to do things. If I was the one asking though, it was so easy. You’d do it whatever I asked. Do you remember? You used to think I was so cool." This time it was Rosaline’s turn to look out the window. “I guess I messed that up, huh?”

“I still think you’re cool,” JJ offered honestly, and Rosaline turned back to smile sadly at her. And suddenly JJ couldn’t keep back the tears. “I really miss you, Ros.”

Rosaline reached a hand up to cup JJ’s cheek, her thumb wiping away the tears. “You’re so strong, stronger than I ever was.”

“I’m not strong enough,” JJ protested, pulling away and averting her eyes once again. She felt her chest tighten, could feel the tingling in her sinuses, and knew that if she wasn’t careful sobs were imminent. “I know I have to be, but –”

“You don’t have to be anything. You just live one day at a time.” And though the words felt hypocritical, Rosaline knew her baby sister needed to hear them. “Jen, look at me.”

Instead of turning back, JJ closed her eyes. She felt Rosaline’s hand under her chin, gently pulling her head around to face her.

“Jen, look at me.”

JJ squeezed her eyes tighter shut but couldn’t keep her body from trembling. She heard Rosaline sigh.

“One day at a time, Jen.”

JJ felt her sister’s touch fade away. She felt an enormous sense of loss and knew that, when she finally did open her eyes, Rosaline would be gone.

[wizardofahz]

CM: All Grown Up

A/N: Here I go again making up JJ backstory. We all know JJ’s changed a lot from seasons 1 to 10, but we got to see her progression. I wanted to explore what it would be like for someone who hasn’t seen her for the past decade.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Skip, it’s good to see you,” Hotch greeted the local FBI Special Agent in Charge as the team descended from the jet and onto the tarmac.

“Speak for yourself, Hotchner, you thief,” Caleb “Skip” Laun grumbled, though he shook Hotch’s hand good-naturedly. Moving onto to Morgan, he said, “Agent Morgan, it’s nice to see you again.”

Morgan reciprocated with a smile, “Good to see you too.”

“And you!” Skip boomed as he turned to JJ, voice suddenly ten times louder. “Benedict Arnold!”

“Hey,” JJ smiled, a mixture of shyness, embarrassment, and fondness, and stepped into his open arms for a hug.

Not long after the Adrian Bale fiasco and Gideon’s breakdown, Skip had called the BAU in for help on a case. With the Gideon on medical leave and the BAU struggling to find its feet again, only Hotch and Morgan had come to consult. They had met JJ then.  Having been impressed by her work, Hotch recruited her to the BAU after the case was over.

“Skip, these are SSAs David Rossi, Kate Callahan, and Doctor Spencer Reid,” Hotch introduced the rest of the team.

“Caleb Laun,” the SAIC said, shaking Rossi’s and Kate’s hands. “But you can call me ‘Skip’.”

The introductions over, Hotch went over the assignments. “Kate and I will head to the field office and meet with the victims’ families. Reid and Morgan, you two head to the coroner’s office. Check for anything that might’ve been missed. Skip, do you mind heading over to the latest crime scene with JJ and Rossi?”

Reid and Morgan headed for one of the SUVs on the tarmac as Skip said, tone once again good-natured grumbling, “Whatever you say, Hotchner. I’m still mad at you for stealing this one away from me. My unit has never been the same.”

“This one?” JJ asked petulantly, and though she tried to sound annoyed, a blush spread across her cheeks. She rolled her eyes at the amused looks on Kate’s and Rossi’s faces.

Before she could hear Hotch’s sure to be embarrassing reply, JJ quickly got into the backseat of an SUV.

…

"You’re staring,” JJ noted despite keeping her attention on the files in front of her.

“Just trying to reconcile you with the bright-eyed rookie who I took under my wing all those years ago,” Skip said with a shrug.

He’d watched her carefully the past couple days. The JJ that sat before him now was rather different than the young woman he worked with a decade ago, though not unrecognizably so. Her core had remained the same, but she seemed harder around the edges. The interrogation he’d watched her conduct had shown that clearly. JJ had never been timid per se, but when she’d worked with him, she’d been more measured in her words and actions.

A lot of the changes were like that, certain traits amped up or subdued but nothing majorly so. The odd combination of those changes was what seemed to make all the difference.

JJ looked up from her files. “I’ve changed a lot,” she acknowledged.

“Yeah. You were always destined for more. You spread your wings and look at you now.”

He sounded proud.

“Right,” JJ nodded, but her response was subdued.

The bird analogy Skip used reminded her of Blackbird. She was flying all right but with broken wings. Or at least that was how she felt sometimes.

“The BAU been treating you okay?” Skip asked, now sounding concerned.

She had definitely grown during her years as BAU liaison, but it had been her stint at the State Department that really changed her.

Not that she could tell him that. Need-to-know and all that.

“It’s got its ups and downs, but it’s family,” JJ replied honestly.

“I’m proud of you,” Skip smiled at her affectionately.

JJ could feel herself getting warm in the face.

“My little baby all grown up,” he continued.

“Oh my God.”

She quickly got to her feet, but he followed her out of the room, teasing her all the way.

[wizardofahz]

CM: The Ex

A/N:JJ seemed very self-aware of her tendency to “run from getting hurt” in “In Heat”, so I figured there must be some backstory there.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hey, Jen.”

JJ whirled around at the familiar voice and stared up at the approaching man, freezing like a deer in headlights. He was dressed in a nice suit and stood over 6 feet tall. His brown eyes matched the color of his beard, and his head was shaved.

She was saved from responding by Edward Jordan, the lead detective on the case.

“Nate, there you are,” he said, coming over to greet the other man.

“This is Nathan Shanks, our ADA,” Jordan introduced the newcomer to the BAU. “Nate, this is the BAU: Special Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Callahan, Rossi, and Dr. Reid. And I guess you already know Agent Jareau.”

The other profilers looked at JJ curiously but didn’t say anything other than Hotch, who stepped forward to shake Shanks’ hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same, though I wish it were under better circumstances. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

The team were in Pittsburgh helping on a particularly tricky case that required the ADA’s help, hence Nathan Shanks’ presence.

JJ stood unnaturally still as they discussed the case until Hotch assigned her and Morgan to interview the first victim’s family again. She gratefully sped out of the room.

…

“How’ve you been?” Nate asked, catching JJ off-guard as she got another cup of coffee. “It’s been a while.”

“Fine, okay, good,” JJ responded awkwardly. She glanced about as if looking for an escape, but she still reciprocated. “You?”

Nate shrugged. “Not much to my life other than work, which I’m fine with,” he added the last clause quickly. “Uh, anyway, my mom says hello.”

“Tell her I said hi. How’s she doing?”

“Good. I mean, her hip’s acting up a little, but good otherwise.” Nate watched as JJ fidgeted, fingers working anxiously at something on her left hand. A ring. “You’re married,” he observed quietly.

JJ’s fingers stilled immediately. “Nate,” she sighed.

Nate had been her boyfriend at the University of Pittsburgh. Their relationship had been quite serious until Nate had proposed, and JJ, being too scared to commit, had run away. All the way to Georgetown University.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Nate said quickly. “That’s… That’s great. Good for you.”

“I’m sorry,” JJ said, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe she felt like she was hurting him again with this reveal. She didn’t know.

“No, don’t be. It’s okay.” Nate gave her a smile, small but genuine. “He must be really special if you… you know.” 

“I tried running,” JJ offered up.

“You wouldn’t be Jennifer Jareau if you didn’t,” Nate said, sounding more amused than judgmental.

“I got pregnant. I mean, I wasn’t with him just because I got pregnant. I decided not to run first. I don’t know… maybe I would’ve tried running again if that didn’t happen.”

Nate nodded knowingly. “Kids change things.”

“Not that much,” JJ admitted shyly. “Even then I couldn’t agree to marriage. Not for years…”

Now that they were past the awkwardness of times long past, talking with Nate felt good. Before they had gotten together, they had been friends first. When they’d broken up, his friendship was what she’d missed most. Talking easily with one another was like coming full circle.

“What finally made you says yes?” Nate asked, watching her curiously.

“A bank robbery, him being shot, an explosion, our son being in danger,” JJ replied, almost as if going through a mental checklist. “All of it happening within the same 24 hours.”

Nate whistled. “Damn…”

“It put things into perspective,” JJ said with a light smile.

“As long as you’re happy.”

“Are you?” JJ asked tentatively.

Nate smiled, more forlorn than content, and this time he was the one saved from coming up with a response.

“JJ, ADA Shanks,” Hotch said, appearing behind them. “We’re ready for the interrogation.”

“We’ll be right there,” Nate replied. Then to JJ, “I’m good.”

She wished she believed him.

[wizardofahz]

CM: So Why Didn't You

A/N: I thought JJ should've been able to easily handle the unsub in "Scream", but then I read mlight93's post and thought it provided a good explanation (actually I was kinda ashamed I didn't think of it as well, but that's neither here nor there). That post generated this fic idea, but I couldn't figure out exactly how to make it happen until an anon sent a post-TFP prompt that made everything click. Anyways, now that I've told you all the life story of this drabble (just trying to give credit where it's due), I'll shut up and let y'all get reading. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

JJ stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Her eyes fixed on the bruise on her forehead, she contemplated its origins.

As far as unsubs went, Peter Folkmore wasn’t the biggest, scariest, toughest, or even the most dangerous. She should’ve been able to handle him better than she did.

She thought back to her last sparring session.

"What was that, huh? You lost your form, completely let your guard down. What was that?"

"What?"

"You know, if you’re fighting somebody who knows what they’re doing and you pull that garbage, they’ll kill you."

"So why didn’t you?"

She had definitely landed hits, so what went wrong? Had she lost her form? Had she been pulling “that garbage” in hopes that, Folkmore would kill her?

She hadn’t thought so, not consciously anyways, and that worried her.

Did she just have an off day or was her subconscious trying to tell her something?

You’re not over Askari, a voice whispered. Another added, You’re still broken. A third decided to join into the mix. You have nothing left.

“You’re wrong,” JJ contradicted all of them vehemently, startling herself with her own voice.

They were all wrong, JJ tried to convince herself. She hadn’t trained in a while. She’d just fallen out of practice.

“You okay in there, JJ?” Will asked through the door.

“I’m fine,” JJ called back automatically before whispering to herself, “I just need to get back on the horse.”

...

JJ paced outside of the boxing gym as she waited for her trainer -- former trainer? she hadn’t seen him since their spat -- to show.

She didn’t have to wait long.

When he spotted her, he slowed, almost to a stop as if he were debating changing directions to avoid her.

"I wanted to say sorry,” JJ said, skipping over the formality that was greetings. “For last time."

He stared at her then shrugged, "Okay."

"I want to start training with you again." The look on his face plainly displayed his reservations, so JJ began to explain, "I was in a bad place last time, and —"

"Look,” he sighed, cutting her off. “I’m not a shrink. I don’t deal with those kinds of issues."

He sounded resigned, as though he’d been through this routine before, had seen people try -- and fail -- to beat their emotions out of themselves time and time again.

“I know,” JJ said quickly. "And I’m dealing with that, but I need to start training again.”

His eyes locked onto the bruise on her forehead, and he gave a noncommittal, “Looks like it.”

JJ wasn’t sure if it was frustration or desperation or something else -- she certainly wasn’t trying to play the sympathy card -- that led to her blunt response. “Well, sorry, abduction and torture aren’t that easy to get over.”

Blindsided by the revelation, he stared at her. Then tentatively, “Okay, if you need --”

The pity he was displaying grated on her. “You know what, never mind.”

She turned to walk away.

“No, wait, hold on.” Something in his voice made her do just that. As she faced him again, he continued, “That stuff you were saying, it was unsettling.” JJ could see his point. Homicide, assisted suicide, whatever anyone wanted to call it tended to make people uncomfortable. “I couldn’t be responsible for that. But if you’re getting help and we’re just sparring…”

“Just sparring,” JJ promised, intentionally overlooking the bit about getting help.

He nodded. “Then let’s do this.”

JJ stated her one condition. “Just ixnay on the pity thing.”

“No pity,” the trainer -- her trainer once again -- agreed. “Just sparring.”

With their agreement settled, JJ felt better. Picking up training again wouldn’t fix everything, but at least she was working to restore her confidence.