#prawneggs

[socialprawn]

Why must i deal with fools and nincompoops?????

[prawneggs]

i thought it was endearing at first, but my neighbour keeps singing disney musical songs with his dusty, crusty, fucking voice, he plugged his keyboard on our shared wall too (egregious) and is screeching like a dying banshee.... woke me up TWICE. so i moved my entire setup... i am literally too mad at him to ask him to PIPE IT DOWN but I did open my door and the hallway noise outside is even worse 😂

ill gather the strength to be an adult about it and tell him to quiet down, but i've made urr exasperated remarks in my living room and he prob heard so im embarrassed lol

[prawneggs]

dont wanna use prawneggs to post WIPS or sketches but im lowkey excited for this campaign and i be sad that it's veering too far from ppl's comfort lol but i gotta pursue the art not the numbers yall

and also my self-indulgence tee hee

[prawneggs]

Made sprites of people who resemble a past that is haunting me

[prawneggs]

Intentional weight loss and disordered eating talk, be warned 🛂🛃

I am so gd proud of myself because I lost 10kg since my heaviest of my life in January… I am 2 kg away from leaving the obese category…. And i did it all by myself!!!! And I never felt like I was starving not even Once RAWR

I rest easy knowing I have educated myself enough to eat nutritiously and in respect to myself while also eating snacks in moderation, literally had a Tony’s chocolate bar yesterday 🫪

cutting smoking and holding myself 100% accountable made me realise that emotional eating was another form of addiction… watching this youtuber Honey Bison jolted me awake from a lot of harmful thinking that started with my parents tbh (fat gene, emotional eating, starving and binging) (and also perpetuated by the general modern culture that is straight up crabs in bucket mentality) (I got so butthurt when I realised 🐺)

I wanna start weight training for my future grandpa self to be fully mobile and strong also. YAY for 10 kg lost by eating whole foods and frozen veggies ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚

[prawneggs]

trying to convince myself not every story i am coming up with needs to be a 3 seasons epic series

in fact most of my shit would be better as a short story im realising...

i also tried thinking about alma and zooey and im already so fucking bored of them 😂 i kinda never want to draw them again. and part of me is like nooo... but it's so HOARDER of me. like... let them go and do new things...

extra unrelated vampire rant below:

i know my vampire stuff is loooong postponed... unfortunately talking about Moira and Thom to the wrong person tarnished them... idk how to fix that anymore... You know when you say something about your OC and the other person goes "OH....!!" and have written you on their death note... LOL

The online hype is dead at this point :( Which is fine... fixable..... But I also just want to draw more edgy and explicit stories tbh... having been around people who get easily offended over Anything has dulled my brain and storytelling 😔 Mind you, of course I'm not being like 'these woke kids' about it lol. You know how self-policing the internet and our generation can be...

I was very close friends with someone who would say stuff like 'height differences in couples is problematic', obviously pointing at a 7 foot Thom and 5'7'' Moira. I didn't want to tell them it's very fucked up to say that because any disagreement lead to escalation... and I know they said that, and more, to police my art lawl.

They also would police other people, send me their art to badmouth them to me and tell me how heinous they are. Meanwhile these same artist would be drawing the coolest stuff ever. But my spineless ass just ate it up, because why would a friend of mine just be hateful for no reason... UGH!!! I'm so annoying. This is years ago btw, but the 'ghost' haunts me even now.

Because of this, my characters became severely flanderised. I cringee seeing my old shit now. Thom and Moira, how COOL you could've been 🥺

It's my fault for not having a backbone. And it wasn't just these friends. I'm not ranting about One Guy, it's a whole internet culture that brainwashed me (and those ex-friends!) to become as inoffensive as possible... and you know that isn't right, or realistic. It completely hindered my art process, and I'm a traumatised asshole OKAY I wanna draw some fucked up shit!!!!!! URRHHH

[prawneggs]

It's been an emotional month for me and my bloggirl needs are at high capacity... more TMI deep-cut thoughts under cut...

Artemis II had me bawling a lot for selfish reasons... DUNDUNDUN

When I was a kid I did not have dreams of a career, marriage (cos I didn't know I was gay lol) or anything like that... I really wanted to become an astronomer for NASA. I actually REALLY wanted to become an astronaut, and I was like 200% sure I would make it to the moon.

Now in our lifetime we are experiencing these moon missions in real time, and idk man the kid inside me felt heartbroken instead of excited... maybe because it hit me... shit I'm never going to the moon huh?? (Yes lol this is not about logic it's about emotions 😤)

I started crying for a good 5 mins lol, seeing how I never had a chance to even pursue this as a kid, I mean shit I was abandoned af and my family only wanted TWO prospects out of me: do what my dad did or marry someone who will. Third option is middle finger and no dinner for "ungrateful" me.

Being this close to this vulnerable part of myself is due to the fact that I no longer speak to anyone in my family, and it feels safe to come out again. GADDAWM tho I've been FUCKING emotional, it's really like quitting cigarettes all over again.

It's also liberating because I am remembering things I really wanted to do as an adult as a permanent practice in my life:

mushroom picking

using a telescope frequently

crystal/mineral hunting

fishing

landscape + nature photography

zine making/writing articles and short stories

study the fkn universe GRRR

gardening (which i suck at rn lol)

List is fkn big but most take a lot of time and need no rush :)

So I may not be able to go to the moon in my life, that is inevitable... but I can still even pursue knowledge. I want to become literate... and I want to make a life that can accommodate what this kid part of me always wanted lol 😔

[prawneggs]

Also i found a random ahh soul eater fancomic i made and it EATS bruh excuse poor photo quality but

Why did i do alldat for. The premise is so good… its supposed to be continuation of the anime, not the manga… and it’s about all these guys having PTSD, Stein yearning to be in toxic kahoots with a witch he’s dissecting while engaged to Marie… a Medusa fangirl necromancer witch LMAO it’s so good 😭 on a random june 2023… what was I up to back then…