Okay but what if after the prayer scene and the "you don't have to say it" Dean replied "no i have to" but Cas stopped him again because he knew what he was going to say. And then told him about the deal with the Empty.
What if then, at the worst possible timing, they both realized they had feelings for each other but couldn't do anything about it. What if they never talked about it again and almost didn't talk at all, both for fear of saying the wrong thing and for having nothing else to say that seemed worthy of being said if it wasn't that.
What if one sleepless night they found each other alone in the kitchen, with silence amplifying their feelings, and Dean just brushed one of his fingers with Cas', not daring to hold his hand but desperate to have him close and let him know, even without saying or doing anything. With soft but painful smiles. Like cursed lovers who could finally see happiness but weren't allowed to reach it.
What if I eat my own hand-
