TW/CW: Dehumanizing Talk , Threats of Murder , Purposeful Misgendering (Until Called Out On It)
TL:DR; Michael only talks at 2 panels. The Conference goes... decently? Scribner talks in “” and italics. Hastings talks in “”. Michael talks in ‘’. Zacharias, for his 3 lines, talks in ‘’ and italics.
“Scribner Kelpman on behalf of the Kantonian Board of Scientific Discoveries here to introduce our academic friends to our ‘Pokemon Experiments Gone Wrong And You’ Panel. As you’ll recall, last year we had a talk with Bill, the man who fused himself accidentally with a Clefairy. Filling in for Professor Elm is Professor Hastings from the Ranger Union. We also have one other guest.”
“I’ve been told that your panel has an exclusive the likes of which our guests have never seen, is that right, old boy?”
“Right you are, Professor. We’ve an exclusive with the Phenac City Phoenix.”
“Ah, yes. I do recall being informed of that. He’s up in the cloud right now and we’ll watch him through that?”
“… No, Professor. The projector and screen behind us is set up to remotely stream its appearance.”
“Scribner, can I call you that?”
“I’d prefer Kelpman, Professor.”
“Well, Kelpman. I’m sure the lad would prefer we call him a he.”
“Professor, it’s not even human, its-”
“That young man is no less human than the rest of us, and we should treat him as such. For that matter, we should treat all Pokemon with this respect. They all have their own chosen names and pronouns. Beyond even our nicknames and interpretations of their gender. We should take the time to ask them how they feel and honor that.”
“That’s… quite the radical statement.”
“It’s no different than respecting any other person. We should respect others, just as they respect us. Don’t you think so, Kelpman?”
“I… Yes, Professor. Of course we should respect other people…”
“And Pokemon too, Kelpman?”
“… And Pokemon too.”
“Right then, old boy. Let’s make haste. Pull the lad from the cloud for us!”
“Right away… Professor.”
‘Hello? Is this connected?’
“What’s that lad? Please do speak up! These ears aren’t what they used to be.”
‘Um. Hello? Is this better? I’ve turned up the volume on my computer to it’s fullest.’
“… You’re still too quiet for the Professor. You should-”
“Ignore Kelpman here, lad. You’re doing just fine. We’ll simply turn up the volume of your connection some. Kelpman, give me the remote for a moment.”
“Professor, accommodating for that being will put your Union to shame-”
“And treating this young man rudely will put my soul to shame. It seems you have no qualms with it, though.”
“… I’m truly sorry for my words.”
‘That’s okay... Um, but if I may?’
“Yes lad? What do you need?”
‘Well, you’re Professor Hastings, and that’s Doctor Scribner Kelpman. Both respected men in you fields. But… I don’t think everyone knows who I am?’
“They know you’re not human-”
“You do seem to be right, young man. Why don’t you introduce yourself?”
‘My name is Yamichaelas Thunderbolt Krane-Westley. I’m here on behalf of the HQ Coordination Lab in ORRE. But those in the audience may know me as the Phenac City Phoenix. However, that’s not relevant right now. Since I think this might keep the attention more on the good Professor and Dr., I think I should mention the first panel I was on was over… that incident. And it was streamed live by the convention staff. So you can watch more on the official website if you weren’t at that panel… Dr. Kelpman here requested I come to talk about being the MICHAEL of MISSNO. fame.’
“Precisely. Following last year’s guest, Bill of the PC system, no other human has come close to what you’ve done. No one has violated the laws of nature so profoundly and lived.”
“Now I’m a well-learned Professor, but I’m afraid I’m rather in the dark when it comes to standard Pokedex nonsense. Us in Fiore are used to the Browser, don’t you know?”
‘And in ORRE we’re not much for Pokedexes either. Dr. Kelpman, could you please explain to us and those in the audience what MISSNO. Is?’
“That’s precisely what I’m here to do, Professor and Michael. A MISSNO., Missing NO. or Missing Number all refer to an unregistered or unidentifiable Pokemon and/or Pokemon-like creature of Cartoon origin. Once caught and/or registered, until properly disputed and accepted by the Regional League, these MISSNO. creatures will still show up under that Professor-restricted subset instead of in any official records. Of course, due to the Public Information mandate of nearly a decade ago, all MISSNO. creature names and base logged info can be found via the Regional Leagues website a month after upload.”
“Well I’ll be! Does that mean standard toon-folk show up under that branch?”
“I’ll admit, I’m not entirely sure. My studies have mostly been about molecular changes via the capturing process. In theory the answer is yes… But the list only applies to registerable creatures, which do have to be caught first… So I can’t say.”
‘Professor, Dr., I can answer this one. Standard toon-folk, and those who are half-or-less like me, do not automatically show up as MISSNO. It’s just as Dr. Kelpman said. You have to be registered or else you don’t show up.’
“And how do you know that, MISSN- Michael? Nonhuman hybrids like yourself aren’t legally allowed to hold Pokedexes, let alone become registered to use one.”
‘Uh. Um… well, when I was caught, my OT, um-’
“I’ll admit I’m curious to that as well. But this seems like a question best saved for later, perhaps when the panel is over?”
‘Uh, yes! Thank you Professor. Yes, exactly. Dr. Kelpman, I’ll be willing to answer any questions you have right after we’re done.’
“… Moving along, then. Michael, is it true that you didn’t actually catch yourself despite your first… thesis… saying the opposite?”
‘…Oh, Shoot, I’m awfully tempted to lie and stick to saying I did, but you both caught me say OT back just a bit ago…’
“My word, lad. Are you saying you’ve actually caught yourself? In a Pokemon Ball?”
‘Well, yes. That’s what this panel is about, Professor. Didn’t Dr. Kelpman brief you too?’
“He sent me some files, yes. But I only skimmed through them when it became apparent he only cared for slander and libel. You’re just a young person that went through some tough times.”
“Libel? Professor, I’m appalled that you would even insinuate I would stoop that low about a murderer like-“
‘’Kelpman, I don’t believe I was talking to you. I was talking to Michael here.”
“… Fine. Talk over me on my panel. I don’t care.”
‘Professor? Please don’t be mad at him for doing his job.’
“Young man, I’m disappointed in the Dr. for being so rude to you. I’m angry at this whole convention for using your unfortunate circumstances to force you to talk here. You should be in school, not locked in a room with a security guard and your younger brother over there.”
‘He’s older than me, actually. And my current TRAINER, not my brother.’
“Ah, I see. Well, the point remains. You shouldn’t have to be here for your lab’s accreditation. Not when you’re still so young. You have so much to do and see. More than reminiscing over lies, certainly.”
‘I’m afraid that whatever the Dr. there sent you was likely true. The Phenac Incident was… bad… And I did steal Pokemon from licensed TRAINERs. I’m not heroic or anything, I’m a bad guy.’
“See. It- he admits to his guilt! He’s a menace. A menace that’s currently abusing tons of private funding to pal it up with the brightest young minds and taint them. He’s ruining my panel. He’s-”
“Mr. Kelpman. That kind of speech will not be tolerated in this convention environment. Or any environment. Certainly not in a work environment. You are an academic mind above all else, and you are the only one here ruining your panel.”
“How dare you-”
‘Professor, please. He’s just scared because I’m in the VIP Fairy-Variant room. But it’s okay! If I act out again or these panels go badly, I’ll be put down. There’s no need to be mad at him!’
“Young man, what was that bit?”
‘Nothing, Nothing! Um, let’s just get back to the panel, okay?’
“… This panel is over. Everyone out.”
‘No, no! Please Dr. Scribner. Please Keep it going. If my guard finds out…’
“Professor, can your authority let Michael free? This… doesn’t sound like convention policy.”
“Mr. Scribner, I do believe it can. I think we should on-record stop the panel and-”
‘Please don’t end the panel early! Please!’
“Why not, Michael? The guests have all left.”
“Kelpman is right, young man. This is something we need to report to the board.”
‘But you can’t stop it early. Please.’
“To reprimand you like that is against nearly every rule in the book. It’s been illegal to put down VIP’s since before you were born.”
‘My lab needs the accreditation just as much as you want Professor status, please Dr. Kelpman. Ask me more questions about how I recoded the Premier Ball or something.’
“Hybrid or not, my personal feelings on your murders aside… This isn’t okay.”
“Kelpman, my boy, for once we agree on something. Michael, my lad, we have to set you free.”
‘Dr. Scribner, if you stop it early, this’ll be my third strike. You know the room itself is STEEL. You know if I’m kicked to the ground and forced there it’d kill me. Please. Please, don’t stop the panel.’
“… Professor, can a panel still be run with only one host and one guest if the other is taking a bathroom break?”
“Why yes, it can. I’ll be off to the restroom.”
‘You’re making a mistake, Professor. I just need to sit through the panels. It’ll be okay. You don’t need to go out of your way-’
“Onto my next question. Michael, was it true that you stole a prototype Pokeball from- Actually. Let me ask something else.”
‘… The Professor left.’
“Michael. Did you ever make good on your plans from the end of your thesis?”
‘You read my paper? Your work on berries has always been an inspiration of mine. It’s what I’m going to talk about at my solo panel and-’
“I’ll say. Your thesis on the Pokeball system came out the same year mine did. It received more acclaim despite mine being vastly superior. You cited working on it for 2 years. Mine took a decade. The only difference was you took anecdotes from actual Pokemon.”
‘Yours was much better than mine! The amount of experiments and control tests you went through to come up with your findings was astounding!’
“But I wasn’t young enough. You gained my praise. Everywhere I turned, my masterpiece was compared to your fantasy novella.”
‘But I really did talk to all those Pokemon. They were my friends. And they’d never lie to me.’
“That’s precisely why it’s fantasy, Michael. You know how Pokemon, how friendship works! They were only telling you what you wanted to hear!”
‘I don’t think they were? I’ve been in a Pokeball too, remember? Besides, our collective findings basically say the same thing, I don’t see the big deal.’
“You wrote a newspaper article and got into the Hope’s Peak. I wrote an encyclopedia and didn’t even break into my field. You ruined my career.”
‘Are you sure both of our success wasn’t up to luck?’
“… Maybe it was. If only I was lucky enough to have a fan.”
‘Well, for what it’s worth. I’m your fan.’
“… That doesn’t make me feel better.”
‘… Also, I did.’
“Excuse me?”
‘What you asked about. I did. Do… that to myself too.’
“But you don’t seem any different. You don’t seem changed.”
‘Just a few weeks back I went through a PURIFICATION process, actually.’
“Did it help any?”
‘Not really. Not as much as going to therapy and relying on my family, friends and boyfriend has been.’
“I see… Are you happy together?”
‘Huh?’
“You said boyfriend. Another Hope’s Peak student, I’m guessing?”
‘Oh, ha ha. I did mention him, didn’t I? Yeah, uh… Yeah, he is…’
“And you’re happy together?”
‘I’m not sure. I mean, I’m happy with him. I’d do almost anything for him. But I never really asked if he’s happy with me. It’s hard to tell, you know? He’s so out-of-my-league…’
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Especially if they’re really open with affection towards everyone. It’s hard to tell if you really deserve it or it’s just something they’d do for anyone.”
‘Yes, exactly! I feel that way with my friends too! Like Zacharias, Eve, and Espella! They’re always being way too nice! Why, do you deal with that too?’
“My husband Yew made me feel the same way for a long time. And… is that him there?”
‘Huh?’
“Your TRAINER from before who’s struggling on that smartphone. Is he also your boyfriend?”
‘No, that’s my friend Zacharias. My boyfriend is someone else entirely.’
“May I know his name?”
‘Well, see, I’ve also never asked if I can tell people who he is… But, since you told me your husband’s name, I’ll say his name also starts with a Y.’
“That’s… something I guess. And, it looks like the Professor is there.”
‘It… sure does. Did he really have to knock out the poor security guard?’
“It looks like your friend was ready to pull out that prop sword of his, I think it’s for the best.”
“Michael, my lad! Michael’s TRAINER! Let’s get you two out of here!”
‘Are you the Search Engine Pizza man?’
“I’m Professor Hastings from the Ranger Union.”
‘With our desert pizza?’
“Why would I have a desert pizza?”
‘I ordered one through the Google search on behalf of a request from some Magical Phone Royalty.’
“It seems you’re going to be fine. I should let the convention goers know everything is okay.”
‘Dr. Kelpman, thank you for your help. You can hang up the call now.’
“Jo? Mommy says it’s dinner time!” A six-year-old Michael called up the stairs to their room with a grin.
No response.
“Jo?” Called Michael again, taking time to go up the stairwell on all fours. “Mommy says it’s dinner time!”
And still, no response.
Michael worked up the stairs and into their collective attic room, finally back on two feet. Jo was sitting on their bed, petting a baby Arrow.
“‘M not Jo anymore.” Said Jo, looking anywhere but at Michael.
“You aren’t?” Said Michael, confused, but still smiling.
“No. Jo was a them.” Not-Jo shook their head. “Jovi is a she.”
Michael’s face broke into a bigger grin. “Nice to meet you, Jovi! I’m Michael!” And Michael gave a little bow.
Jovi stopped petting Arrow and looked to Michael in confusion.
“Jovi already knows big sibling Michael?”
And Michael twirled around once in a teal dress and gave a little curtsy. “But your big sibling has never met Princess Jovi before.”
And Jovi smiled in wonder.
“Can Jovi really be a Princess?”
Michael nodded and went to take Jovi’s right hand.
“All the Princess’ wear pink overalls nowadays.”
And Jovi’s grin grew.
“You promise?”
Michael laughed, tugging Jovi’s hand along.
“I promise! Now come on, let’s go get Mommy to give our Princess ice cream for dinner!”
The two made their way down the stairs, a small Eevee following close behind.
-
Rui had just finished balancing the monthly budget for the 5th time that week - since her children apparently couldn’t keep out of trouble - when she heard a little voice call from the darkness of the kitchen next door to her small study. She tensed, recalling the day she met her husband, and forced herself still. There wasn’t a Makuhita or other trainer around for miles.
“Mommy?”
She was married and living in the middle of the desert, far away from any remnants of Cipher or Snagem.
“Mommy?”
She had two beautiful children and a husband that went out each day selling his homemade weapons for food money.
“Mommy?”
It wasn’t really living, but life on the run would never really be living. And she was okay with that. She knew that when they got married.
“Mommy, are you still awake?”
It was Michael, her oldest.
She let out a shaky sigh. “Yes, Rui’s awake. Come on in.”
And Michael waddled in wearing their Piplup pajama’s and went right over to Rui’s lap.
She gave Michael a soft grin as she picked them up and set them in her lap.
“You’re going to be so tall when you’re grown, Michael. I don’t know how much longer I can do this for you.”
Michael latched onto Rui like a baby sloth.
“I’ll never grow up.” Said Michael’s quiet voice.
“Never?” Said Rui, just as quietly back.
“Never!” Chirped Michael. “Growing up means leaving and I’ll never leave you or Jovi.”
Rui let out a small chuckle. “Or your Daddy Wes, right?”
“Or Daddy Wes!” Michael let out a louder chirp this time, hugging Rui a little tighter. “Even if he’s never around to tell his stories anymore!”
And Rui moved to pet Michael’s head, and sighed.
“Your Daddy’s just busy working so we have enough to eat, sweetheart.”
And Michael pulled back from the hug to look at Rui.
“But you work all the time, and you’re at home with us!”
Michael’s looking at Rui, really looking at her. Into her eyes and her being.
“Doesn’t he love us enough to stay?”
Michael asked the question that’s been on her mind for months now.
“Why won’t Dad stay here with us, too?”
She’d be unnerved if she hadn’t spent her whole life doing the same thing. Reading people the same way, and asking the right questions at the wrong times.
“I handle the financials, Michael. That doesn’t require any legwork.”
At this, Michael pouts.
“But financials are money and if Daddy’s also holding money, then you can both stay with us!”
Michael’s looking at her aura right now, she can tell. Michael’s focused on her heart and staring intently. Even unknowingly, her oldest is learning to read people.
“Sometimes, grown-ups have to leave.” She says, setting Michael down.
She wishes she could stay to guide her children.
“Which is why I’ll never grow up!” Says Michael, assured in their decision. Rui gives her child a sad smile.
She wishes they could pay rent.
“And if I don’t grow up, then you won’t either!” Says Michael, a little louder, holding her right hand with both of theirs. Rui’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes and her eyes start to water.
She wishes that they wouldn’t have to leave Jovi and Michael next month.
“Tools don’t age, after all!” Says Michael, finally at an indoor voice, pleading to get Rui to respond.
And she broke down crying, pulling Michael into a hug.
“It’s ok, Mommy,” says Michael, a little louder than before but starting to shake too, “you don’t have to be sad!” Said Michael starting to cry too. “I know Michael was traded away to Gonzap to pay off your debts, and Michael doesn’t mind!”
Rui laid a kiss on the top of Michael’s head, and gave him a squeeze, but the tears kept flowing.
“Michael will be the most useful for you and Daddy and Jovi, as long as he’s here! He promises!”
And Rui let the tears run out. She moved out of her skinny office chair to kneel on the ground. She took the time to wipe Michael’s tears away and leaned in to give him a kiss on the forehead. And another. And another. She peppered her son’s face with kisses.
“Michael, you’re my brave little hero!” She said between two wet cheek kisses.
“You’ll be strong for us, won’t you?” She said, before giving him a kiss on the nose. “You’ll always do your best for your family?”
“Of course, Mommy! I love you more than anything!”
And Michael squirmed under his mother’s kisses, moving to give her a tight hug instead.
“It’s not that big a deal, Mommy.” He said, embarrassed.
And Rui gave him one last kiss and picked him up like a sack of potatoes.
“It is a big deal, my treasured toolbox.” She said as Michael giggled. “Just last year I had two beautiful children,” she shook her son the tiniest bit and more giggles rang out in the darkness of the house. “And now I have a son and daughter who love themselves.”
Michael giggled all the way up the stairs, until Rui tucked him in.
-
It was July 1st, and Wes was home.
Three days before Wes and Rui had to leave Arizona.
Three days before they had to give their children away to some colleagues for safe-keeping.
Three days before Wes’ contract ran out.
Rui had taken Jovi to get some last minute shots and vaccinations in the nearest town of Phenac City - which was too bright and busy for Michael, as he usually went straight to the Kaminko lab - and Wes was home alone.
With Michael.
His firstborn. Son.
Just a month ago, two years after his daughter Jovi officially became Jovi, Michael followed suit.
Michael truly became Michael.
And Wes was proud.
He was proud of his children for figuring out who they were, despite being born the same way he was. He fought with doctors to let them decide who they wanted to be. He forced the hospital to leave his children alone. To not have them undergo surgery the way he had. He wouldn’t let them be forced to grow up as something they weren’t.
And he was proud of them.
They were growing up much better than he did.
They were growing up with two parents that actually cared.
They were growing up relatively stable.
And, because of that, in spite of that, he didn’t know how to connect with them.
More specifically, with Michael.
Jovi had always been a little adult, easy-to-talk to and matter-of-fact in her needs.
And Wes knew she would go far. He knew he could trust her strong will to stay away from the family business. He could trust her not to fall for promises of family, because her charm would forge one wherever she went.
But Michael?
Wes couldn’t tell what Michael was thinking.
Michael wouldn’t say if anything was wrong. Michael would bottle up his sorrow and let it out on himself through acting out. Michael would take apart weapons and take notes all over books and always looked like he was guilty of something. Michael wouldn’t talk unless spoken to. Michael wouldn’t leave the house unless ordered to. Michael would ask to be in the same room as Wes, to hold Wes’ hand, to give him a goodnight hug every single time, and act surprised when Wes said yes. Like he didn’t believe he was worthy of Wes’ time. Michael would still if Wes gave him a hug without several verbal warnings beforehand. Michael would flinch for no reason if Wes so much as waved in his direction.
But Michael wouldn’t do that around Rui or Jovi.
If Jovi was around, he’d play with her outside. If he wanted to give Rui a hug, he would go ahead and do it. If Jovi pushed him playfully, he’d give his sister a firm pat and continue playing. If Rui raised her voice to call for him from another room, he would call back.
It was like Michael was afraid of Wes.
And there Michael was, stomach audibly growling, standing right outside the kitchen.
Holding his contract. Wes’ contract. Michael’s contract. Gonzap’s contract. Their collective fates, in his nine-year-old hands.
“Michael, do you have something to ask?”
Did Michael know ripping it up would change nothing? That Gonzap had several copies somewhere in his offices?
“Yes! Um, well!” Said Michael, startled into saluting.
It made Wes sad to see Michael emulate his old habits.
“Dad, Can I ask you a question?” Said Michael, looking over the papers intently.
It was always Dad, now.
“If you put those papers back where you found them.”
Michael scurried off to put the papers back in Rui’s study.
He hadn’t been Daddy Wes to Michael since Michael’s 6th birthday, when Wes first introduced Michael and Arrow.
“Dad, may I ask you a question now?”
In retrospect, letting Lassiter and Aureolus chase Michael around the yard for 3 hours probably had negative long-lasting effects.
“You just asked me two, my treasured technicolor multitool. What else do you need?”
Michael stood in the doorway to the kitchen and hugged himself tight.
“I don’t need anything! I’m sorry! If you let me, I’ll go away now!”
Wes frowned softly and set his butterknife down. He turned to look at his son and motioned him in.
“I’m making banana-sandwiches if you’re interested?”
Michael’s face lit up in joy and he bounded over to the counter, previous hesitancy all but forgotten. He started jumping in place to try and see up on the counter.
“Those are my favorite!” Wes knew that. He made them on purpose. “Can you cut them like stars?” Already done. “And we feed the extra to Arrow?”
Wes let himself pull on his heroic smirk and winked at his son, making his right hand into a finger gun.
“Only if you don’t tell Arrow’s dads.”
Michael blinked a few times, which made Wes want to laugh, and shot two finger guns right back at Wes, positively beaming.
“They won’t hear anything from me!”
Michael ran out of the room in a buzz, presumably to go get Arrow.
Less than a minute later he came back to give Wes a quick hug.
“Arrow says thanks.”
And Wes slowly put a hand on Michael’s shoulder, smiling.
“Does he now?”
Michael looked up at Wes and bit his lip.
“He also says his daddies want tuna sandwiches!”
And Wes sighed, because of course Michael went to ask if they wanted lunch too.
“I’ll get right on it. Why don’t you go ask Lassiter to have Aureolus tell you basic battle tactics again?”
Michael let go of the hug and stuck his tongue out at Wes.
“Battles are mean and they hurt Pokemon! I’m gonna’ ask about the time you met Entei instead!”
And Michael ran out of the room.
Wes smiled, and went back to preparing lunch.
-
It was July 4th, 9:23 pm.
They were going to someplace called the “HQ Coordination Laboratory”.
It was near Grandpa Kaminko’s study, 47 minutes away by vehicle, 2 hours and 47 minutes by foot.
It was 2 hours and 35 minutes away from Grandma Belluh’s Agate town.
It was 4 hours away from home.
5 hours away from home.
Nearly 6, now.
Mommy Rui and Daddy Wes said they were all going on vacation.
A family vacation, just them.
They wouldn’t be back home for a while.
Michael knew “a while” meant “forever”.
When Michael woke up that morning to the sound of fireworks and explosives in the passenger seat of Wes’ motorbike, he knew there was no home to go back to.
When he pretended to sleep the night before, and heard Wes pack up all their clothes and favorite toys, but forgot Arrow’s favorite squishy ball, he knew time was running out. He pocketed Arrow’s squishy ball himself, and triple-checked that he had Arrow’s Pokeball when he watched Wes carry Jovi to the car.
He would never see his room again.
When Jovi woke up and Rui gave her her old necklace as a late birthday present, Michael knew their parents were leaving for good.
Jovi went back to sleep, and had been in the passenger car for hours, but Michael - sitting next to her - could not.
Rui tried talking to him, as they got closer.
Mommy Rui tried telling him he’d be safe this way.
That he could be a real person and go to school.
That he would be able to watch TV and play outside and eat all sorts of food he never had the chance to try before.
That he would make all kinds of new friends and family on his own.
That he and Jovi would be happier at the lab.
But Michael stayed silent.
He listened, because he know his mother needed her last goodbyes.
When she cried, as they were going nearly 10 miles faster than the speed limit across the outer parts of Orre county, he listened.
And Wes listened too.
All Michael could tell, really, was that Daddy Wes owed Uncle Gonzap a lot of money, and they were going away to make more of it. Also the police didn’t like them, for some reason.
Michael and Jovi would live with Professor Krane and his business partner Lily until they could safely come back.
But at feeling Wes slow down to the speed limit as they entered the forests nearing the lab, and as Michael saw his father’s pained frown, he knew it would never really be safe for them to return.
As they slowed to a stop a mile away from the lab and Michael helped move two child-sized rolling suitcases out onto the ground, he knew it was goodbye.
As Rui woke Jovi up for a final hug, and they all exchanged “I love you’s”, Michael felt himself change.
He was no longer Michael, son of Wes and Rui Westley.
He was now Michael, only living family of Jovi.
As the vehicle sped off into the distance, and Jovi suggested they take a nap because she was still sleepy, he felt something in him leave with them. He felt Jovi’s sadness covered by a joke as she started walking back the way they came, still disoriented from the long ride.
And he felt like maybe he could be heroic for Jovi, at least until she turned 9, too.
Michael put on his first fake smile for Jovi that night, and started walking towards the lab.
“Hey, Jovi. I bet the lab has water beds!”
And Jovi lit up. She turned around, and picked up pace.
“You think so? What’re we waiting for?!”
Michael let his grin give way to something sly as he broke into a run, trailing the suitcase behind him.
“Nothing at all! Let’s go!”
And Jovi ran after him, yelling.
“That’s not true! The fireworks are about to start!”
TL;DR: Hi, it’s based off of when I learned what sexy swordplay was. Except I wasn’t dating anyone and other than a serious misunderstanding, was pretty much just Espella. So, really flustered and tired at my friends. Espella’s 21, Eve is 22, Barnham is 26, and Michael is just now 19. Also, there wasn’t ever a good time for it, but Michael has Klinefelter’s syndrome, which means he has a 47 XXY karotype. Uh, google can tell you more but all you really need to know is he’s intersex, but had top surgery the summer before going to HPA and has like, 0% dysphoria now! And Jovi’s trans! I mean, I mentioned the Jovi bit before, and both of these things actually change nothing? Michael’s still male presenting with masculine-pronouns and Jovi is female presenting with feminine pronouns. Both of these decisions were made the moment I picked Michael and, again, changes nothing about them, character-wise.
This is NSFW??? They talk about kinks, and like, there’s a mention of almost sexual assault. Michael continues to know as much as I do, in regards to sex things. So, not much. A good lad. #ihatezook2k18
So, “CTRL + F” to pull up a search and look for Applepie , one word. I’m using that as like, a buffer so if you want to read the japes but skip out on the Panic Attack, PLvsPW spoilers, and Eve + Zacharias fight, you can! Keylime , one word skips the biggest PLvsPW spoilers! So, if you see the buffer, “CTRL F” search it and go down to go past the spoilery bits!!! Here’s to hoping this works!
*The group of four is sitting in the Political Scandals section of the library, at a rectangular table for four, Espella sits across from Eve and Michael sits across from Zacharias Barnham, Eve and Zacharias sit next to each other, both seem uncomfortable*
Es: It’s a shame we have to leave Constantine behind…
Ev: Constantine was… a bit aggressive towards Michael.
M: I’ve never met a dog that hated me so thoroughly…
Z: Apologies for earlier, Sir Michael. He’s trained to seek and seize delinquents.
Es: But Michael’s no delinquent! They’re a hero back home!
*Espella does her lean forward earnestly thing, Zacharias starts to snap in amusement*
Z: They are? Apologies for implying untoward activities, Mx. Michael. A hero, you say?
*Michael leans back into his chair as Zacharias leans towards him slightly*
M: I’m not really! And uh no need to apologize! Ha ha, actually I go by he/him, ha ha…
Es: Michael, we aren’t with your classmates right now, it’s okay to be yourself…
*Michael flinches slightly and looks to Espella with confusion*
M: But I am when I say-
Ev: Your official files list you with neutral pronouns and with Klinefelter’s-
M: Eve!
*Michael yelps and Eve is silent*
M: I don’t know how Labyrinthia treated this sort of thing, but we don’t mention it. Out loud. In public.
*Eve’s neutral expression crumbles to one of regret*
Ev: … I’m sorry.
Es: Michael, We’re sorry! We should have asked when we met!
*Michael waves his hands placatingly and tries to play it all off*
M: No, no, it’s fine! Ha ha, I never corrected you or anything, just uh… It’s he/him.
Z: … So, you were a knight back home, Sir Michael?
M: I wouldn’t call it something so heroic, personally…
Es: But you served your family and community to further their safety in times of crises?
M: Well, yes, as a spy-
Es: But you freed all those Pokemans!
M: Yes, under strict guidance, I did return many stolen Pokemon back to their rightful owners…
Ev: Sounds pretty knightly to me.
*Zacharias nods impressed, then he looks to Michael with anticipation*
Z: Are you well-versed in the sword, Sir Swift Fox?
M: My boyfriend Yogi can fence?
Z: But I’m not asking him. I’m asking you! Will you unsheathe your weapon for me?
*Michael pales and his uneasy grin stretches comically*
M: Uh, what?
Z: Will you do me the honor of this most personal of matters?
Es: Zacharias, you don’t need to-
Z: I’d like to see if Sir Swift Fox is worthy of the hero title. One knight to another.
*Zacharias smirks and Michael looks frightened*
M: I promise I’m not worthy! There’s no need to fight!
Z: Show me your sword!
*Zacharias pulls out his real sword, even though he’s in vacation clothes*
M: We’re in public and I don’t know you!
Z: So we’ll have a private duel! You’ll know me then! Show me your might!
M: I don’t have any to show! And even if I did, I wouldn’t!
Z: Don’t be so modest. Someone as esteemed as yourself must have a large collection of assets. Let’s have a duel!
*Michael shoots Zacharias an uneasy polite grin*
M: I’m good, thanks!
Z: Nonsense! Let’s cross blades on the battlefield! Eve, are there any private quarters around here?
M: Just take my word for it!
*Zacharias grows impatient as Michael back-peddles*
(( Applepie
Z: But you’re a human of honor! Surely, you’re willing to prove it to me?
M: I’d rather not! We don’t have to have this devolve into perverted swordplay!
*Zacharias stills, unsure*
Z: … Excuse me?
M: I don’t want to see your sword!
Z: You already see my sword-
M: I’m not stupid! I know what you really mean!
Z: … You’re 19 and I’m 26. You’re but a child…
*Michael stands up and starts backing away, towards the nearest stairwell*
M: Exactly! So we don’t have to have a sword-fight! I trust you’re strong and manly and I’m just passing through! I don’t want to do anything! I’m begging you, please!
*Zacharias stands too, and takes a step away from the table*
Z: That’s. Excuse me?
Es: Zacharias, he doesn’t-
Ev: What does age have to do with not wanting to cross swords?
*Espella whispers into Eve’s ear from across the table, Eve’s expression is neutral*
Z: The nerve of you! I’d never force myself on anyone! That’s it, fiend! We’re having a duel.
*Zacharias advances closer to Michael as Michael backs away*
M: I don’t want to! I have a boyfriend!
Z: That doesn’t matter! We WILL duel!
*Eve stands and lets her metal claws retract from her right hand gaunlet*
Ev: Barnham, the fox doesn’t know what he’s saying! Stand down.
*Eve puts her right hand on Zacharias’ left shoulder, but he shrugs it off and advances*
Z: Nonsense! He seems to know enough to talk back to the Sword of Labrynthia!
*Espella rushes over to Michael, who is trying to leave, she gives him a hug and he starts shaking*
M: I thought we were friends, Espella. You said I could trust him.
Es: And we are friends! You can trust him, Michael!
M: I don’t want to go alone with him! I don’t want to be used! I don’t want to be used! I don’t want this!
Es: I know, Michael, I know. We won’t let you be used.
M: I don’t… I don’t want to do this again…
*Michael’s limp under Espella’s embrace*
Z: We will have a duel. And you WILL apologize for insulting MY honor!
*Michael jolts away from the hug and in front of Espella, guarding her*
M: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m no hero, I’m a murderer of 6! But, Please, don’t make me do this! Leave us alone, leave Espella alone, I’ll do whatever you want!
*Zacharias smirks and brandishes his sword with flair*
Z: Showing your true colors, I see? What a wily fox. Still, it is brave of you to protect an innocent as you confess to your crimes.
*Michael’s tearing up and starting to yell*
M: I’m sorry, Zook, I’m sorry! I’ll go back to your place! Please, just let her go home!
*Zacharias falters and looks at Michael warily*
Z: Zook? I’m not-
M: Leave Jovi alone! She didn’t mean it!
*Eve slaps the sword out of Zacharias’ grasp and it clangs to the floor*
Ev: You daft dolt, can’t you identify a traumatic flashback when you see one?!
*Zacharias notices Michael’s glazed over expression for the first time, He retrieves and sheathes his sword first*
Z: I- Sir Michael, I apologize, I got carried away in my anger and-
*Zacharias goes to touch Michael, and Michael flinches into himself*
M: Where’s Eldes and Ardos? Ardos saved us last time, where are they? I don’t want to go back to his room, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I want to go home with Jovi-
*Espella holds Michael’s hand*
Es: It’s going to be okay, Michael. I’m here. I’m here with you. You’re not the Great Witch, you aren’t the villain, you’re okay…
*Zacharias flinches himself and looks to Eve guiltily, Eve is unimpressed*
Z: There was no inclination of instability… Surely, you see that?
Ev: … Nice going, Inquisitor Barnham.
*Zacharias tries to play it off dismissively, as if forgetting his regret*
Z: He was egging me on, Lady. You know my training dictates I press on.
Ev: … We are civilians here, Barnham. You know better.
Z: … My Lady, old habits die hard! And I had no way of knowing it would set him off when-
*Eve sends a harsh glare, Zacharias returns in kind*
Ev: So his hesitance and unease meant nothing?
Z: I thought he was playing the long game. You had told me he was a crafty sort-
Ev: And you think he’d lie about his shortcomings?
Z: With the way you describe this establishment, it’s hard to take any of these prophets at face value.
Ev: He’s a child, Barnham.
*They’re up in each others faces now*
Z: A child that apparently murdered 6 people!
Ev: Like your winnings didn’t easily quintuple that! How many innocent people have you sent to the flames?
Z: What of the first Labrynthia? 74 fabricated deaths to nearly 500. Does the blame still favor me?
*Eve recoils back*
Ev: You have no right to speak of that day…
Z: What else am I to do? You’re letting this facade take over your responsibilities!
Ev: And what of yours? What of Labrynthia’s temporary mayor?
*Zacharias recoils as Eve snaps back*
Z: I can’t be responsible for them, you know this-
Ev: And they’re better off with the man that treated them like pawns?
*They’re yelling, now*
Z: At least they have someone, Darklaw! They aren’t here playing pretend!
Ev: And what of your vacation? That’s not pretend?
Z: You know I need this. I need some time to figure out who I am.
Ev: And I need time to learn how to effectively govern.
Z: Sure, because leading those lost souls wasn’t experience enough!
Ev: And when you tried to usurp my position was just as helpful!
Z: Says the one who helped steal a city’s worth of memories!
Ev: Don’t play so high and mighty-
Z: It’s the only thing I know to do! You did this to me!
Ev: You talk like implanting memories is bad!
Z: It is! It’s horrendous and immoral-
Ev: And you agreed to it, just like everyone else.
Z: But I can never get the past back! I can never be that person again!
Ev: Like that was an issue when you jailed Espella. When you blamed Espella for being the Great-
Es: ENOUGH!
*Espella’s hugging Michael, who is sobbing, Espella’s also crying*
(( Applepie
Es: You two were supposed to be here to help encourage me to study for midterms! So I don’t flunk out of my first ever school!
*Eve and Zacharias sit down back on their chairs, quarrel forgotten*
Ev: Dearest one, I’m sorry…
Z: Espella, I…
Es: You were supposed to become friends with Michael, who’s been through just as much as we have, and we could all bond!
*She gives Michael one last squeeze and sits him down in his chair, then she wipes her tears away*
Es: You weren’t supposed to fight!
Ev: …
Z: Espella, our problems can’t be solved that easily, surely you understand-
Es: No, I don’t! I don’t understand why you can’t forgive each other, if you’ve both forgiven me!
Ev: But you were never to blame-
Z: You were a child of nearly 8-
Es: Enough.
(( Keylime
*They quiet*
Es: Labrynthia, as we know it, was created for me.
*She does the lean forward grasp her hands thing*
Es: Whether you like where it’s going or not, we can’t change the past. We must remember it and move on. But, we can’t blame ourselves for the past forever.
*Espella looks at them with an understanding smile*
Ev: I can.
*The smile drops*
Es: Eve…
Z: I too, can and will blame myself for my actions until the day I die.
Ev: Seconded.
*They high-five in a moment of solidarity*
Es: But do you blame each other? Do you blame me?
*Both frown and shake their heads no, Michael’s finally coming around*
M: …
Es: Do you want me to blame myself? Do you want each other to blame yourselves for things you were forced to do?
*Zacharias shakes his head no again, and Eve looks away full of regret, Michael’s listening intently*
Es: Then use that feeling the next time you try to talk down to yourself. If you can’t be nice to yourself for yourself, do it for your friends.
Ev: I suppose I have no choice, then.
Z: Likewise. I could never go against the words of my two closest friends.
*Espella smiles thankfully*
Es: Michael, what of you?
M: … Do I have to do that too?
Es: Yes, Michael.
M: Is that an order?
Z: An order, why of course not! It’s a suggestion and-
Ev: Don’t listen to him on this, Michael. It is an order.
*Eve’s impatient and Zacharias is up in arms, eager to draw his sword again*
Z: No, it isn’t.
Ev: Yes, it is. Michael, don’t listen to-
*The sword is out again, but it clanks against Eve’s gauntlet as Zacharias tries to point it towards Michael*
Z: Yield, Eve. He must be free to choose his own Story just as us.
*Eve grimaces to the floor, then looks to Zacharias in understanding, and lets her hand drop, Zacharias points his sword right at Michael’s neck*
M: … It’s not an order?
Z: Certainly not! One should never have that sort of power over another human being.
*A long stretch of silence, Espella and Eve look uneasy, Michael’s expression hasn’t changed in the slightest, and Zacharias puts his sword away in contemplation*
Z: Peculiar. There’s no reaction.
M: Another human being, huh?
Z: Why yes, of course. Why do you act as though I’ve said something strange?
*Michael ignores him, turning to Espella instead*
M: … Can I trust him, Espella?
Es: Yes, Michael. You can. He is a friend.
M: I’m not human.
*Zacharias scoffs*
Z: And magic really is real!
*Michael digs out his snag ball from his backpack*
M: Espella, if you would like we practiced?
Es: … I’d really rather not.
*Michael nods and turns to Eve*
M: Would you do the honors?
Ev: If it so pleases you.
*She takes the rainbow-colored orb from his hand and waits for him to set the backpack down*
M: Now, please.
*Eve presses the button and with a flash of white light Michael disappears*
Z: Nice trick, but I thought we were exempt from the groundwater tricks here?
Es: We are…
*He stands up and walks to where Michael was spatially, feeling around at thin air*
Z: So what is this? Some sort of advanced government secret cloaking device? Another even blacker black than before? A whiter white this time?
Ev: He calls it a Snag Ball. A modified Pokeball capable of capturing any one sentient creature, regardless of its will or wants otherwise.
Z: But those Pokeballs are fictious!
Es: Are they, Zacharias? He’s no longer here.
Z: I refuse to believe it! Ameer!
Ev: …
Es: He’s not using a Talea Magica, Zacharias…
Z: Then it’s some sort of mirror trick!
Ev: It’s the work of this Snag Ball.
*Zacharias lets out a startled chuckle and moves to where Michael was sitting*
Z: Preposterous! No sort of magic could do this! No technology either!
Es: He says he’s from some place called Orre, Arizona.
Ev: In America. They seem to operate differently there.
Z: I’ve toured to their California where Sir Wright resides and saw no such, such, trickery!
Es: Perhaps we were wrong all this time? Maybe magic does actually exist?
Z: Then that would make him a witch! And that’s impossible! He’s just hiding somewhere!
*Eve shakes her head slowly and presses the button again, Michael returns back almost exactly where he was before, but seems shaken*
M: That… was a long time, Eve… Much longer than I’m comfortable with.
*Michael shakes as he returns the Snag Ball into his backpack*
Z: And where did you go, perchance?
M: Inside the Snag Ball, of course.
Z: Surely, you don’t expect me to believe that?
M: It’s awfully… lonely in there.
Z: You weren’t really in there…
*Zacharias looks to Eve and Espella for back-up and falters*
Z: You’re kidding. That can’t be!
Es: It’s true, Zacharias. He can even show you proof he went inside if you let him pull it up on his laptop.
Ev: As much as I loathe to admit it, he’s committed an immeasurable mistake.
M: I haven’t been fully human since before I altered the coding.
Z: I refuse to believe in such, such, impossibilities! No one can turn themselves into a monster! This is impossible!
*Zacharias is starting to freak out, he’s leaning on the table and gritting his teeth and sweating heavily*
Ev: And yet, what you saw is the absolute truth. No misdirection or silver bells at play.
Z: But- but what of Sir Wright and Top Hat’s deductions? This kind of witchcraft is unthinkable!
*Michael clears his throat and Zacharias rights himself, as if called to attention*
(( Keylime
M: It’s not witchcraft or magic.
Z: Then what is this sorcery?
*Zacharias moves to pull out his sword again*
M: It’s part of a very sophisticated computer program. That converts living cells to data through temporal stasis and several MRI scans.
*Zacharias starts snapping, as if amused, but a bit off rhythm as if trying to play off his nerves*
Z: Computers, I see. It all makes sense now.
*Espella looks to Zacharias worriedly*
Es: It really doesn’t, Zacharias. People shouldn’t be able to go into computers!
*Zacharias is back to sweating profusely*
Z: But what of the Scooby-Doo Cyberchase? That educational video the whole town was required to view before society re-entry? Was that a lie too?
*Espella looks to Eve warily, Michael gives a nervous chuckle*
Es: … Eve, dear?
Ev: Yes?
Es: You remembered to brief him… that it was to become acclimated with the idea of American video games, correct?
Ev: I may have told him it was based in fact.
Z: …
*Zacharias’ sword clangs against Eve’s gauntlet another time*
Ev: We shall settle this dispute later.
Z: And why not here and now, High Inquisitor?
Es: Zacharias.
*Zacharias remembers himself and where he is, he puts his sword away again*
Z: Right. Of course. Think nothing of it, Eve. We are friends and mistakes happen. It is in the past.
Es: Eve?
*Eve smirks*
Ev: I’m sorry my jokes were too high-brow for your doggedly-thick skull.
Z: Excuse me?
Es: … Eve.
*Eve’s grin falls and she looks off, ashamed*
Ev: Apologies, my close friend. It was wrong of me to play with your ignorance like that. Even if the payoff was immensely satisfying.
Es: … That’s good enough for now, I suppose.
*Zacharias nods in agreement*
M: … And the sword-fight?
Es: I forgot about that! Um, how about you just forget it?
Z: Especially if it isn’t a true knights duel.
Es: Zacharias, I don’t like what you’re implying of Michael.
M: … So I shouldn’t engage in any sword-play?
Ev: No, you should.
Z: Indeed! You should, if it’s within your desires.
Ev: To each their own perversions.
Z: Indeed. But not with me.
M: You’re not my type either. And too old on top of that.
Es: Michael! That’s rude!
Ev: The only person you have to sword-fight is that Yogi fellow.
Es: EVE! THAT’S LEWD!
M: I… have to?
Ev: If you want him to know you love him.
M: I do want him to know I care…
Es: I’M NOT HEARING THIS!
Z: Only him.
*Espella pulls her hood over her face*
M: Only have to do it with him…
Ev: As much as he desires… He is your prince, after all.
*Eve smirks as Michael nods*
M: As much as he wants…
Z: Most definitely. I’d never want to do… that. Certainly not with you. It’d be like fighting with myself.
*Zacharias starts his amused snapping, Espella pulls her hood back down*
Es: ZACHARIAS! THAT’S! EVEN WORSE!
M: … I have to now. I have to.
*Michael pulls out his phone and looks to Espella for confirmation*
M: Should I call him to let him know we need to do it now?
Ev: Right here?
M: Well, if he wants to, I wouldn’t be opposed…
*Eve stifles a laugh and Espella turns beet-red, Zacharias seems uncomfortable*
Es: No, no! You do not have to! Not now, not ever!
*Michael puts his phone away and pouts*
M: Never?
Es: Never, Michael.
M: But if could be fun…
Ev: It could be lots of fun. Provided you’re both prepared.
M: Well, obviously! I wouldn’t want to hurt him, now would I?
*Eve covers a smile behind a hand*
Ev: Not unless you’ve taken all the precautions…
*Michael’s bemused smile falls to a fearful frown*
M: Are you making this a sex thing?
Ev: I didn’t say or imply anything… Your vixen-mind must’ve been caught up in the gutter.
M: Now, I’m pretty sure, you’re making it a sex thing…
Es: You two, stop now! I will not have the library disgraced this way!
Z: This has taken a very peculiar turn…
M: I wonder if he’d be into it if we start out shirtless?
*Michael gives it some thought and Eve covers up her laughter as coughing*
Es: That sounds like something you should talk to Yogi about!
M: I think I might want to… Espella, how do I ask him?
*Eve bursts out in giggles and Zacharias gets up to leave*
Es: I DON’T KNOW! YOU SHOULD ASK HIM! AND NOT ME!
*Eve doubles over in her laughing and starts pounding on the library table*
Z: I’m going back to my hotel now. Sir Michael, meeting you was… an experience.
*Zacharias exits as Michael gives him a wave goodbye, Eve stops laughing for a moment*
Ev: And I have the insane fantasies?! My mother kink is nothing on this!
*Michael seems almost impressed at Eve’s declaration as Espella goes to hide her face in her hands and Eve goes back to laughing*
M: I think I probably should ask him. He deserves all the nice things…
*Espella looks to Michael warily*
Es: … Do you know? What sword-fighting really is?
M: Well, when Zook mentioned it he just meant forced… intimate relations… But I think it’s probably really romantic.
*Eve has to steady herself on the table and Espella’s face turns redder than before*
Es: Romantic?
Ev: Do tell, Michael.
*Eve is smug, Espella’s still reeling over the fact Eve told Michael about their collective mommy kink, and Michael’s got a far-off look on his face*
M: It’s just like… strip-poker sparring, right? Where you start with 4 extra layers of clothes?
Es: … Su-sure.
M: And when you win you get to cuddle in just your pjs?
*Eve starts crying from laughing so hard*
M: What, is that wrong?
Es: It’s… not not wrong?
*Eve gasps out between laughter and tears*
Ev: Tell the poor stray, Espella dear!
*Michael looks to Espella in a confused manner*
M: Espella? What does it mean?
*She whispers in his ear, face red*
M: …
*She pulls back and Michael falls out of his chair in a thud*
M: LUGIA-BE-DAMNED, NO WONDER HE’S AFRAID TO TALK TO ME!
*Eve stops laughing and wipes her tears away*
Ev: Oh, do go on?
M: I INVITED HIM TO SWING OUR DICKS TOGETHER JUST YESTERDAY, FUCK!
Ev: Was this before or after you asked him to fasten your newest collar?
M: After.
Es: You’re kidding.
M: No, I’m not. I have like 7 of them in colors to match my headbands. I’m surprised you noticed, this one looks just the same as- FUCK!
Ev: I KNEW IT!
M: I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING PET PLAY KINK!
Ev: AND I DIDN’T PRETEND TO BE THE HEADMASTER FROM THE OWL COTE’S SCHOOL FOR GIRL’S!
M: BUT YOU TOLD ME YOU DID!
Ev: EXACTLY! LOOK IN A MIRROR, MICHAEL!
M: I’M NOT A WITCH’S FAITHFUL FAMILIAR LIKE YOU ARE, EVE!
Ev: SURE, AND YOU AREN’T WAITING FOR A WAYWARD PRINCE TO RESCUE YOU?! YOU’RE A LITTLE FOX CAUGHT BY A BEAR TRAP!
M: SHUT UP! IT’S NOT A KINK! IT’S SO I CAN LEGALLY ENTER THE FUCKING LIBRARY BECAUSE I’M NOT HUMAN LIKE YOU!
Es: MICHAEL, DON’T SAY THAT SO LOUD! You’ll be sad you said this later!
*Michael slams his head down on the table and stands up, grinning manically*
M: TOO LATE FOR THAT! WE’VE ALREADY BROKEN 15 LIBRARY RULES AND WE CAN’T FUCKING SLOW DOWN NOW!
*Eve starts laughing again, but out of nervousness this time*
M: I’M LEGALLY A PIECE OF PROPERTY, FOLKS! YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!
Es: You’re not a tool, Michael!
M: MICHAEL KRANE-WESTLEY IS A SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG! HE’S NOTHING MORE THAN A DEFUNCT KILLING MACHINE! JUST POINT HIM SOMEWHERE AND SHOOT, IT’S ALL HE’S GOOD FOR!
*Espella looks close to tears*
Es: MICHAEL, PLEASE! Just because you’re not all human anymore doesn’t make you a monster!
*He rounds on Espella, impossibly fast and angry, but doesn’t step any closer to her*
M: IT DOES TOO! BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT, LOOK AT THIS!
*Michael pulls out his phone and shows it to Espella and Eve*
M: FUCK! FUCK! I TOLD HIM I WANTED TO “POLISH HIS SWORD” AFTER STUDY GROUP! FUCKING! FUCK! LOOK!
*Eve finally stops laughing, face red from all the laughter*
Ev: “Are you sure you’re talking about my rapier?”
Es: His contact is “Prince Yogi”.
M: EVE, IS THIS BAD?
Ev: “I’m sure, my prince. ;)”
Es: …
M: EVE, DON’T PLAY WITH ME HERE.
Ev: You sent him another winky face and a shirtless selfie.
M: What DOES THAT MEAN, EVE?
Es: Eve, I can’t-
*Espella bursts out laughing*
Ev: It means you want to suck his “long and alluring” dick.
M: FUCKING FUCK! SUCKING DICKS!
*He pulls up another conversation and practically shoves the phone in Eve’s face*
M: Jovi TOLD ME TO FIND COMMON INTERESTS! THAT WINKING FACES MEANT SINCERITY AND EXCITEMENT! THAT A SHIRTLESS SELFIE WOULD LET HIM KNOW I WAS EATING REGULARLY!
Ev: Winky faces can mean all sorts of exciting things.
M: AND THE SELFIE?
Ev: You’re giving him fuel to get in the “polishing” mood.
*Michael’s face flushes redder than his hair and he whispers*
M: Jovi, you sneaky little Minun. Say goodbye to your 14th birthday present this year. You’ll be paying for another arm cast instead.
*Espella stops laughing to pat Michael’s arm softly*
Es: Wait, Michael, don’t-
*Michael carefully puts his phone back in his pocket, gives Espella and Eve a little nod, and opens the first story window, before taking a running leap out, the sound of rustling bushes can be heard*
Note: I won’t???? Illustrate it??? Oops, i just got too lazy,,, “Ev” is Eve Belduke/Lady Darklaw, “Es” is Espella Cantabella, and “M” is Michael? There you go.
TL;DR: Uh, on Michael’s birthday he held a surprise birthday party for Honoka and it didn’t really pan out???? Oops. Sorry Michael, turns out you actually have to tell ppl it’s gonna happen??
Ev:They’re not coming.
M:What?
Es: What Eve means to say is, it’s 5 pm and if anyone else was gonna show up they would by now…
M: You’re sure?
Es: Kind of? I mean, Honoka did show up at 2 to say “hi” didn’t she? That’s what you wanted, right?
M: I guess…
Ev: It was last minute, I’m surprised anyone showed up at all.
*glances to the arcade, we see bendy and Akihito and peacock playing claw machine*
/page 1 end
M: I don’t remember inviting them… *pouting*
Es: Wait a second, Eve! That’s gotta’ be it! *grasp hands eureka sprite*
Es: When did you tell everyone about this, Michael? *she leans in a bit*
M: Two days ago… Was that wrong?
Ev: Traditionally, you’re supposed to let everyone know more than a week ahead of time for scheduling purposes. Except the guest of honor, of course.
M: Oh… I had no idea…
Es: That’s probably why no one came! They were too busy! They are Ultimates after all! *grabs Michael’s hands*
/page 2 end
Ev: Oh please, I’m balancing the finances of a whole town, working on 3 civil domestic disputes at the same time, an Ultimate too, and was told about this only yesterday. They just don’t like him.
Es: Eve!!! *michael’s hesitant smile drops* They’re his friends! Don’t say that about them!
M: … *downcast anime face*
Ev: *shocked and hesitant* I, I didn’t think he’d react so badly, I’m sorry-
M: No, no you’re right. We’re only classmates, at most. *he’s doing the crying smile*
M: *wiping his tears* Why don’t we go watch the My Little Pony Movie and then the first Spongebob as a double feature?
Eve and Espella share a look
/page 3 end
Es: That sounds wonderful, Michael! I’ve been meaning to show you both that one anyways! Did you know Eve’s kind of like Tempest?
They walk to theater..
M: Who’s Tempest?
Espella in front of doors
Es: Twilight’s newest girlfriend, of course! Let’s go! : D
Ev, blushing: I’m sure that’s not really the case…
esp rushes inside
Ev: And Michael?
M: Hm?
Last panels
Ev, serious: Espella will always be your friend no matter what. And I too, for that matter.
PRE-DV2 : Bow before your democratically-elected World President Jovi!
TL:DR; In which Clay and Michael are still unreliable narrators (how they perceive things and their motivations) but Jovi is best World President. Also, someday soon, she’ll be logging in instead of Michael because he’s a weenie. And she knows Michael about as well as anyone else. Also, she’s just as good a hacker as Michael is but wanted him to feel good at something so she’s always downplayed her talents.
Accompanying Music: Jovi will Tell the others Your World, Michael, even if you die
Michael let a bitter laugh peel from his throat and envelop his dorm room, from on his bed, while looking into his laptop. Jovi’s frown deepened and she closed her eyes, waiting for Michael to stop, as if used to this sort of behavior. From the floor, Arrow stretched his back legs and gave a little shake, letting loose a few static shocks. Then he jumped up on the bed and stepped his not-quite doggy self into Michael’s lap, and started purring. As if from the click of a mute button on a remote, Michael’s laugh died out. He started to give Arrow some much wanted headpats as Jovi slowly shook her head at her brother.
“I’m sure he probably understands. I mean, if these Ultimate kids are from places like us,” she took the time to poke her right cheek with her right index finger, and looked straight into Michael’s eyes. “They probably need you as a friend, and not a hindrance.” Her gaze held no emotion at all.
It was a look Michael was too familiar with.
Jovi had listened to Michael rambling off for the last 15 minutes, and as usual, had cut straight to the point.
Jovi’s patented block technique. If he didn’t know any better, he’d guess she actually learned it from Justy’s Nosepass on a recent trip to smooth over relations with Phenac City… He couldn’t very well log off now, or else she’d find a way to visit him in person.
He sighed and forced his uneasiness away. “Little sis,” she quirked an eyebrow up at him and let her hand fall as he countered with a level stare of his own, “they aren’t from places like us… But, even so, most of the students here are just as messed up as I am.” Jovi furrowed her brows and tsked. Then she puffed up her cheeks with air and pouted. “I could’ve told you that. I mean, really? What kind of a student willingly goes to a pyramid scheme of a school like Hope’s Peak anyways? That place has no regard for it’s hardworking reserve course!” Michael gave her a curt nod and a shaky smile. “Good to know schooling with Emili hasn’t diminished your overwhelming love for underdogs.”
Arrow took the moment to lick Michael’s hand and he remembered who he was dealing with. Jovi was always a master of deflection through humor. This comment, while still obviously truthful, was her way of distracting him.
With renewed vigor, like he had just received a helping hand after being hit with a super effective move, Michael spoke swiftly and with priority.
“Jovi, I’m serious. It’s not just paranoia this time. Half the student body is under the charms of some unknown entity, like Cipher’s factories, but worse. The reserve course students, except for Espella, hang off of our every word like we’re some sort of Greevil when he was still Mr. Verich. No one here open carries, but everyone is hesitant to speak out of turn like they might get hurt. The student council is a sham and if the reserve course wasn’t here, I’d say this place doesn’t even qualify as a real school.” She laughed at him. “I swear I’m not basing that assessment off of High School Musical this time. Please, listen to me.” And Jovi was silent. “The auras are insane, everyone’s in pain, and it seems like some of my classmates aren’t even alive. I’m not talking about the obviously supernatural like Saturday Grimm or Ryo and Rui Asuka, either. I suspect some of them are… experiments. This whole operation reeks of a government setup. Kickbacks, bribing, and illegal motives likely. I know you think I’m going off the deep end, but Wes and Gonzap were right to jump ship when they did. This place is a day away from tragedy striking, and I suspect my minimal expertise won’t be enough to help or soothe anyone.” He started raking his hands through his hair. “All my attempts to weed anyone out are met with suspicion and pity. The staff treats my intrusions with naiveté. I’m lucky for that.” Michael takes a deep breath. “But you don’t need to hear about my wild theories right now, you want to know why I’m calling ahead of schedule.” Jovi nods at her brother and motions for him to go on.
“My classmates are all dealing with worse trauma than I am, and I’m trying my best to be nice,” He spat out the next sentence “but they have the gall to tell me to ‘take care of myself’.” It was Jovi’s turn to look shocked. She held her hands in front of her heart and started tearing up.
“Michael, I’m sorry.”
Michael was crying. Arrow stood up and went to curl up at the foot of the bed.
Jovi started singing a lullaby they both knew by heart, but he kept going.
“I don’t know what that means here,” he said, moving his hands to his side and starting to shake, “but we both know back home that means one thing. It’s been years since anyone’s meant it like they have…” Jovi’s voice cracked on the chorus of the song and she stifled a sob.
“Big brother, I’m so sorry…”
Michael let out a wheezing laugh. And Jovi dried her own tears.
“It’s not your fault Jovi, you’re not the one incapable of keeping a friend! You’re not the one a whole city and school want dead!” He wiped his eyes, but the tears kept coming.
“Big Brother, your sister thinks it’s not that bad there! It’s probably not actually a murder threat, right? No one has a gun there, right?”
Michael flinched, and wiped his eyes, but the tears kept coming.
“Sorry, big brother. Jovi forgot.” She covered up a look of pity by tilting her head and poking her right cheek with her right index finger in a curious manner. “Are you… hiding from that Hiroki fellow, big brother?”
Michael nodded shakily, and wiped his eyes, but the tears kept coming.
She dropped the hand, and gave him a soft smile. “The worst you’ve done to anyone is make them uncomfortable because you think you’re a problem… Your attempts to have them drive you away won’t work… Because they like you.” She held her hands over her chest again, and held an understanding smile. “You aren’t a problem.”
At this, Michael froze and moved to shake his head fast for about 10 seconds, tears all but forgotten, before stopping to balance his left hand against his head. “But, Jovi, your big brother is a…” And Jovi’s smile snapped into something ugly. Authoritative. She cut him off.
“World President Jovi! Reporting for duty!”
She gave a salute with her right arm. “Do you copy, Minister of Peace and Happiness Michael?”
And Michael furrowed his brows. “Jovi, we haven’t done this for years-”
And she cut him off. “That’s WORLD PRESIDENT Jovi, to you, Minister of Peace and Happiness!” And she glared at him. “Are you defying your democratically-elected leader?” And Michael froze. He knew she was just likely going to try and get him to do something he’d later regret, but… “Minister of Peace and Happiness, are you listening?!” She was tearing up.
“Minister of Peace and Happiness, Michael, salute your superior officer when she’s talking to you!” Michael noticed for the first time that night, how sad his sister looked. It was all his fault. What kind of big brother was he?
So he saluted back, with his left arm. “Yes, World President, ma’am! I’m ready to serve you at moments notice, ma’am!” And her glare softened, and she gave a small smile.
“Good to hear! I have a super extra special order just for you, Minister Michael!” And she winked at him, and crossed her arms - the signature pose of a confident ruler, she had decided the day they started this game - and smirked. “But only if you think you’re up to the task?” Michael let his salute falter, unsure.
“Jovi, I’m not sure I want to-” And she saluted again, this time, with her left hand on her hip. “Keep formation, Minister Michael! Peace and Happiness can only be maintained by serious dedication!” And he saluted back.
Again, she crossed her arms, but this time Jovi wore a pout. “Do you trust your World President?” And Michael’s resolve shattered. “More than anything, ma’am!” He saluted again. “With my whole heart and soul, ma’am!” Another salute. “I’d move mountains for her fair and just grace, ma’am!” And another. “There’s no one in this world I’d ever put above you, ma’am!”
And Jovi looked at Michael with that block style stare again, straight into his being, like she inherited Rui’s powers or something, like she could see aura where Michael could only barely if he spent hours focusing, and she grinned. Hook, Line, and Sinker.
They both knew Michael would listen to whatever Jovi said next. She had him eating out of the palm of her hand.
“At ease, but stay attentive! Your World President has many requests of you!” She pointed her right hand at the camera and with her index finger, while Michael finally let the salute drop.
One! Don’t derail the conversations with stuff about you anymore! Unless it’s asked of you!” She looked straight into Michael’s eyes and frowned. Tough love’s the only way to get through to Michael, and that’s the way it’s always been. “That means if someone is talking about their own issues, do not make it about you! You may offer your advice and condolences, but that is it!” Michael looked like he wanted to say something, but stayed quiet. “I understand you don’t feel they are safe around you… And you want them to take the initiative to let you go, but as Minister of Peace you must retain relations! Like you have with me! I’m tough, after all!” Jovi let herself smirk at this. Then right back to her game face. “One must not pick fights! Aggravating your companions will not make them leave you alone! It will only make them concerned! A Minister of Happiness must also see to it that they too, are happy! If the conversation does swing to be about you, you must be truthful! If you aren’t happy, that’s okay! Do not force yourself to be, Minister Michael! False feelings beget false hope, and that leads to nothing more than sad hearts and broken promises!”
She gave a victory sign and continued her points. “Two! Assume the best of people! And I don’t mean that they’re talented and smarter than you, because you’re talented and smart too!” And Michael frowned, but Jovi kept going. “How many people do you know that faced a Dragonite’s Hyper Beam, and lived, huh?” And Michael furrowed his brows, but Jovi kept going. “Okay, I know not many people the world-wide actually ever met a Pokemon, let alone a Dragonite, but bear with me. How many people would have the courage to steal Shadow Pokemon and help them feel safe again? How many people would go to lengths to return said Shadow Pokemon after opening their hearts? How many people would give a device like the Snag Machine back to the lab? Not many, Minister of Peace and Happiness. Not many.” And Michael had to smile at that, because even if all he did was copy his dad, it was still pretty impressive. “Back to my point!” Jovi curled her hands into fists and leaned in near the camera. “Folks here, like back home, aren’t actually all out to get you! They’re mostly wrapped up in their own lives! Chances are when Caelum and Hiroki said what they did, they actually meant they didn’t want you to be too cocky!” And it was Michael’s turn to be shocked. “Yeah, I bet every time your classmates expressed concern it was actual concern, too!” And Jovi was back to poking her right cheek in thought. “Not pity or threats like we’ve both been led to believe.” And with a smile, she put her hands over her heart. “I bet, most folks, actually mean nice stuff!” As Michael’s face lit up in dull recognition, Jovi curled her hands back into fists and pumped her arms in the air.
“Yeah! You got it now, Minister Michael! You aren’t in Orre anymore!”
And Michael let out a chuckle at his sister’s antics, because she had the best way of making everything make sense.
“Three! Don’t get too cocky! This one’s self explanatory!” Jovi pointed three fingers at the camera this time. “I’m sure Cousin Megg’s therapy sessions with you have been saying exactly that!” Michael stayed silent. “Right, Minister of Peace and Happiness Michael?” And Michael gave a small nod. “That’s exactly what World President Jovi thought! But have you been listening to her?” Michael shook his head guiltily, and Jovi pouted again. “Minister Michael! That’s setting a bad example for your peers! How are you supposed to uphold Peace and Happiness if you aren’t well-rested enough to do so? Have you at least been eating?” Michael gave a small shrug. “I’ve felt too nervous too, World President, ma’am.” And Jovi closed her eyes in thought. So Michael decided to take a chance and voice his feelings. “It’s hard to keep spirits up without your balancing energy here, Jovi…”
And Jovi looked at Michael with understanding. “I know what you mean. Mimi and Pluplu can barely keep up with my energy…” She looked off to the side for a moment and back to her brother. “Do you suppose that’s how we are? Do you think you have Plus and Jovi has minus?” Michael nodded. “We’re people, but… I think that might be it. I can only bring people down and you up when we’re apart. An overcharge of energy throws things out of wack…” And he looked away from the monitor to Arrow sleeping behind him.
At this, Jovi bit her lip. “Emili’s been like the neutralizer to my excitable personality… Do you have anyone like that, big brother?” Michael slowly looked back to his sister, eyes searching her blushing face. “Jovi, I don’t understand. Are you asking me if I have a girlfriend? I haven’t really liked any girls in years…”
And she let her right hand start playing with her bangs and she looked away from the camera. “I know I’ve been teasing you about that furry guy, but I’m serious, Michael. Do you have anyone who makes you feel safe?”
And to that Michael let out a soft ‘oh’. Because Jovi, as usual, was still spot on with her deductions.
“Yogi is, um…” He could feel his face heating up. “I mean, Yeah, I do have someone who makes me feel safe.”
And Jovi gave him a small smile and Michael smiled back.
“I’m so glad for you big brother.”
And Michael was about to end the call, but then Jovi’s smile turned devious.
“Your World President has another request of you!”
And Michael felt his face fall.
Oh no.
“Oh, yes, Minister of Peace and Happiness!”
Had he said that out loud?
“Minister Michael, your expression gives it all away!”
And she pointed her right hand at the camera again.
“Your World President requests permission to talk to your friends via your phone and also change your desktop background until you tell this cat-man you want to play baseball with him!”
Michael let out a sigh. “Jovi, that doesn’t sound like a good idea-”
“World President Jovi!” She tutted.
“Yes World President Jovi, your fair and just grace, ma’am!” He saluted reflexively.
“So may I?” She said, poking her cheek in an unassuming manner.
Michael let out a sigh, and felt his chances of maintaining his small ego drop substantially.
“Go ahead Jovi. Just make sure you tell everyone you’re you if you log on.”
TL;DR: Michael used to enjoy hacking a bunch! He also feels regret because stealing is bad.
Accompanying Music: The Under (Knowing You Will Always Be Part Of Your Home)
When he was younger, a year before the adventure started, 3 years before Phenac, he would go to Dr. Kaminko and his husband Chobin with Jovi for inventor’s class. They had it 3 times a week every other day alternating with mechanic’s class with Perr and his grandpa - with Sunday’s off - since he was 7 and Jovi was 4. Kamiko, Chobin, and even Perr always warned about the dangers of tampering with things you didn’t quite understand… But Makan - Perr’s grandpa - always encouraged breaking stuff and putting it back together again, which is what Michael chose to take away from those classes.
Hacking, General life skills (Cooking, Taxes, Laundry, the works), and Hacking class started when he was 9. Jovi didn’t have to take hacking class. And it was actually kind of a blessing, because unlike everything else, Michael was good at hacking. It was like a conversation with the computer, his computer always ready to tell him what he did wrong exactly so he knew to fix it. Wiping interfaces remotely by removing one key file only to replace it an hour later to cover up the data breach, wiping footage, rewriting clones of needed software to upload harmless viruses that documented and sent out confessions of criminal activity to the police, slowing down wi-fi under the guise of back-ups while changing vital corporation data on the company website to say that Ms. April from the front desk really likes Ms. Jan from the debugging department and thinks they should get married, Michael was good at that. And it never hurt anybody either! It was the best part of spending 7 years learning 25 different coding techniques. The one thing he was good at, and he used it for good too! He could fix anything he broke, all by talking to his computer.
It was a good feeling. Being able to help someone without having to hurt himself. Being nice without putting himself in danger. Just helping for the sake of helping with no fear of repercussions.
Was.
What he just did felt wrong. Felt dirty… somehow. Like spitting in the face of all his classmates. Like kicking them down and grinding his shoes into their skulls like the worst of the grunts he met said they would.
But he can’t go back.
Not anymore.
Not after forwarding Gonzap all the files.
Not after deleting them in a haste to pretend he was still good. That he is still good.
But he knew he’ll never ever be the same kid from the start of it all.
Not after Phenac. Not after this.
He’s just as bad as any common criminal out there, after all. This proved it. He will never outgrow where he’s from. It’s only a matter of time before he’s kicked out of Hope’s Peak too. And if he stopped talking to everyone as much because of this, if he let them be to have fun, if he held back and stayed away, if he let them foster hope and cultivate all the good things that people back home needed then he won’t bother.
He won’t mess with their good time. Because, after all…
Stars, Dr. Kaminko and Chobin’s inventions are always so weird and unhelpful! Last week, I heard Chobin got clearance to start working on a remote-controlled walkie-talkie tissue box disguised as a sunflower! Knowing my Grandpas’, they probably just keep the patents to themselves or try and sell them on infomercials... Personally I’d go for a cuter design, like a fennec or a teddy bear. And swap out the tissues for something more practical, like a nightlight or normal stuffing. I can’t imagine kids wanting robot toys anyways...
This is only my rendition of the prototype I saw, but I’m sure you can see mine is much more marketable. Cuter and less creepy, for sure!
Plus, uh, not to brag, but mine’s gonna’ have a lot of expressions to change depending on how you speak into it, and it’s also gonna’ be long range! I don’t know how to program that, but I will soon!
Poke poke poke. Suki’s typing gave a new meaning to the term ‘hunt and peck’. Except it was more of a hunt and soft squish. Poke poke. Work was progressing very slowly. Moving the mouse was another separate torment, but at least one she was more used to.
Her shoulders were acing. Poke poke poke. What? Did she want to turn on ‘sticky keys’? A sad sniffle stifled her tears as it felt like the computer was laughing at her now. Sighing, she let her arms flop onto the keyboard. Disaster. A terrible disaster.
She pulled her arms back into position to start again and half the keys were pulled from their sockets by her suckers, scattering all over the floor of the computer lab. “No no no no no no n no no no no...”
