Sometimes having a bunch of fellow premed friends on Facebook is really damaging to your self-esteem, especially if you're like me and well basically spend 90% of your time feeling like you're either not doing enough or doing it all wrong. Especially when you see posts from those people talking about how they got 101% in a class you're struggling with or the ones who post about the bazillion volunteer activities they're doing this weekend. I just get really tired of the rat race aspect of premed. I don't want to compete--that's not why I'm going into medicine. Of course I want to do the best possible job I can for my patients, but I get so sick of all this competition, pettiness, ego explosions, bragging, etc. It exhausts me and drains me of that energy and fire and passion I have for medicine and science. I'm not here to compare grades, I'm here to learn how to become the best doctor I possibly can be. I wish more premed people tried to think like that--focused on what should ultimately matter.
I get tired of having to throw myself into 20 different classes and 20 different activities, work, meetings, MCAT studying, etc. because "that's what you have to do to be competitive for med school." I can't wait until (hopefully) I get into medical school, and then truly the only thing I will have to "throw myself" into will be medicine. I'll be able to immerse myself in it and in its complexities, mysteries and benevolence/healing. That's what I want more than anything. Just to be able to devote my attention to something I love 100% instead of having to spread myself out so thinly all the time. Having to do that makes me feel disingenuine and exhausted.