"Do you miss me?"
I hated that question. It was like one of my recurrent nightmares, where I absentmindedly roll my tongue back, only to feel the empty sockets where my molars were supposed to be.
Nothing.
Wasn't there supposed to be something? Where have they gone? But the more I quested, the wider the gaps became, until I am staring at a handful of blood-crusted teeth in my cupped hands.
I could have stuck them back, if I was quick enough. I remember reading that in the internet once. Not that I'm a dentist, but surely it's worth a try?
Except... They weren't my teeth at all. Apparently someone had helped me to dig them up from the fresh corpse in a grave, so I could smile.
Okay, my nightmare hadn't been that morbid, although it was close.
Point is, there's nothing mine. I looked and looked, kept on digging, for years and years. I got myself fake teeth, sometimes, so I could eat and pronounce the T's and C's. I kept my mouth closed, other times, when I don't. I nod and I smile without parting my lips so nobody would see the void in it.
It wasn't that terrible, really. I had the fake teeth when I need them. I don't need them for at least 8 hours a day, when I sleep.
Until someone asked me the question again. Or when they said they missed their family, their friends, someone, anyone. And I'll start looking for my teeth and felt nothing in those sockets.
A word is defined by something, or at the very least the lack of something. How do you explain the lack of 'missing' without being a stone cold bastard?
I had no name for it, so it stays, unspoken.
Or rather, spoken once. I braced myself for that horror on their face, but it never happened. Thank goodness it never happened. It was nice, to finally speak them, even if I never found the right words.
There is nothing, and it has no name. I roll my tongue back and feel the empty sockets again. But the sun will rise. It always does. That's when I pick up my props, and let you know that even if I don't miss you, even if I can't feel it, I enjoyed your presence whenever you are present, and thank you for that.
