#pretaspeaks

[pretabird]

I need to take a break from people. Recenter myself and my home.

It's so easy to lose yourself in a momentum of things. Especially with depression.

Our birthday went OKAY. Just OKAY. There were a lot of people saying all these plans only for something else to come up. I'm not mad though because I didn't really plan anything either. This year in particular has had my people jaded and EXHAUSTED!!

And with a grain of salt I say that my friend groups need to be analyzed. "Are these connections I want to be in and associate myself with?" Do they care about me the way I care about them? Do they have the strength to handle things?" I need to really ponder this.

Thorn and I have been having some distance and space but when we meet it's pretty good. The type of connection right now where we can go sometime without talking. After a break I think- AND I JUST GOT WEED TO SMOKE DURING MY SOCIAL BREAK BROOO. Hearth BETTER bring me my tree brooo you said you would so let's get it done.

[pretabird]

It was SOOO hard to be perceived yesterday. Could have been the weed @.@ it happens unfortunately.

Was having a sesh and "class" (educational chatter with an elderly neighbor(ST) then another neighbor(SH) came around. This other neighbor is so... "Off". I literally don't know how to chat with him. The free flowing energy with ST before was now thick like molasses. What a shame because he was spittin BUT Spirits had other plans as did I.

My mouth shuts when SH is around. I'm not to share my gifts with him. He reminds me a lot of our dad. Born the same day too. Both Cancerian crybaby men. Using their wives and women as mothers or emotional slaves. Makes my stomach hurt which means it's time to leave.

The whole day after that was uneasy. Usually being high is usually fine but I was wired and anxious. I COULD BARELY WEAR MY TAIL! Didn't h to) p then I tested out my cane and people kept starting at me. The world is so big and complex with do many people over lapping eachother. Some of those people feeling like they have the authority to CAST judgement not just have an inside-the-mind opinion. So scary... I'll tone myself down just to get through an already interesting transition in my life. I deserve to be able to get things done outside. I'm not worried about timing things down because I will always be THAT BAD BITCH in many points of my life INCLUDING when I'm "toned down"

[pretabird]

I don't work a 9-5 because the only thing I'll allow to CONSENTUALLY OWN me is my manz. If you ain't him? Buzz off.