I feel awful because life came and kicked me in the teeth and I haven’t read the draft you sent me.
I will get to it…eventually, if you still want me to.
My question/prompt:
For Kiris, Iiriok, and Batar—They can each have any one physical item. What do they want?
Alternatively, I think I need a college AU with these three. What do they each study, what clubs or societies do they join? How did they meet each other and how do they interact?
It's all good! Life happens. If you still want to, I've got a newer version of the manuscript I can send you, but again, it's all good if not.
Kiris: food. He's pretty simple like that. If food is not an option, he'll take a piece of jewelry that he can...exchange for food. If that's not an option, he'll take a nice, thick blanket.
Iiriok: this man can have basically any object he wants by nature of being him, but--
Something he would like most, which he can't normally get, would be a gift--of anything--from Kiris.
Batar: physically and metaphorically? Her father's crown. Purely physical, though? Some sort of undetectable, invisible ink for messages.
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College AU fuck yeah!
Kiris is a history major with a focus in archival studies. He's a excellent student--when he shows up. His attendance record, if anyone is keeping track, however, is by far and away the worst in the college. But when he shows up, his work is brilliant. He's...also not actually enrolled in said college, however--too paranoid about being found--and is not part of any club (but also somehow always knows which clubs have an event with free food and will show up for those, so he's accidentally become the campus cryptid). There's an instagram page dedicated to sightings of him.
Iiriok is a law student but somehow also had the time to get a major in both poli-sci and economics. He dominates the debate club, is captain of the D1 soccer team, and almost always shows up for any community service type event which put out a call for volunteers. This man is a legend around campus for the opposite reasons as Kiris. His popularity is also helped by the fact that, you know, he's legitimately royalty. He shares a few classes with Kiris, when Kiris shows up, and is greatly concerned about Kiris' well being (or lack thereof).
Batar, of course, is also royalty, but she's not quite as popular and makes no effort to be. So long as she has a group of students and teachers willing to do her bidding for a chance to earn her favor--so long as they believe she might even give it--she sees no need to overachieve, or even be likable. She's a criminology major with a minor in psychology and isn't part of any club or society. That said, she and Iiriok are sharing a house off-campus, so he'll sometimes drag her into whatever event he's participating in, spinning it as 'a chance to garner expendable goodwill.' Although she shares no classes or any overlap with Kiris, she does know that Iiriok is, for whatever reason, concerned about that guy, so after one of Kiris' many disappearances, saunters on down to the overpass, picks him up like a stray kitten, and informs him that he'll be living in one of the spare rooms from there on out.
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Proof of 500 in Tyrant for Sale!
The doctor had made no comment on the blue Kiris was certain was specking his irises despite his hold over the realms, other to ensure his vision was acceptable.
Call me Hendo. She/her. I write mostly fantasy and sci-fi, with the occasional horror short story.
Happy to beta read/critique swap most things. Don't be afraid to message about something. In particular, if you've got a flying scene you need eyes on, I'm a pilot--I might be able to help.
Here's what I've got going on. Might do proper WIP introductions if there's interest. Questions, tags, and ask games are welcome!
WIPs
Seed - sci-fi - 12k/55k?
Think Flowers for Algernon meets Mickey 7. Mayfly clones with a research grant.
The first draft for this thing is, for some reason, turning out to be mostly dialogue, which is a bit odd and going to be an absolute PITA to edit up later.
Molly's Maple Mill - cozy fantasy - 35k/70k
"The trouble with semi-sentient maple trees wasn't that they were sentient, but that they weren't sentient enough."
Small town vibes, MC must figure out how to stop her sugar grove from migrating before the next tapping season. Lots of small magic and random things becoming semi sentient/sentient, including Rock, the MC's pet rock.
Tyrant for Sale/Tombspell - high fantasy - 6k/120k
Book 2 in Prince for Hire/Wordbound.
The end goal for Prince was for Kiris to willingly accept a hug; the end goal for this is for Kiris to realize he can give them, too. Also, gotta overthrow a tyrant.
On the Habitats of Gods - academia/high fantasy - 25k/???k (too long)
Think Pokemon's Pokopia meets Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries
In the same universe as Prince/Tyrant, set about 6 months prior. The MC is a student sorcerer working towards her house scholar degree, but in order to pass her alchemy practical, she must complete an independent study. She chooses to research the difference between ingredients unwillingly and willingly given--which is to say, she needs to figure out how to attract gods, and quickly. It's a good thing the cute inquisitor-select student is being forced to help her out.
Untitled - YA fantasy - 3k/70k?
Mermaid flying fish dragon shifters + balls/debutante season.
This thing's mostly concept art right now, I'll be honest.
Completed
Reverberate - military space opera - 105k
Some Desperate Glory + The Vorkosigan Saga
Status: shelved, but realizing there's some spots for edits, so poking at it in my spare time.
Wordbound (formerly: Prince for Hire) - high fantasy - 112k
"When a fugitive god-king whose involuntary prophecies create reality foresees the death of his adoptive parent, he infiltrates an empire’s hostage court to undo his parent’s prophecy before his parent realizes he murdered them."
Amount Deleted: 8k? thereabouts (1 half-formed chapter + 1/3rd of the following chapter, + most of another chapter which'll probably get added back in but was in the wrong spot and I haven't determined if there's a right spot yet)
Reason for Deleting: the deleted chapter could be condensed into a few paragraphs and the information, overall, completely redistributed and better integrated into the story. The third of the following chapter was then covered by the newly integrated stuff. That following chapter also received major rearrangement due to the focus being completely scattered.
Ways to fix: cut and paste, cut and paste, delete. Really: determine scene-level focus, then chapter-level focus, restructure this storyline's mini-arc (to include rearranging chapters), and combine/condense to keep the plot moving.
Excerpt length: 487
Context: Kiris needs to eliminate one of Prince Thaav's enemies, and thinks sending Iiriok at him is the best way about it (he's not wrong...)
Taglist (please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed!): @whimsyqueen @on-noon @houndsofcorduff @stuffaboutwriting @shrunkupthejams
“Nelovskevouk,” Kiris said, loud enough he was sure ni Musyr could overhear. Verosa refilled his tea. A different type, this time: lavender. “What would you do if you discovered a prince had sinned?”
Nelovskevouk nearly choked on his next sip of coffee. He hid it by clearing his throat—which is to say, not at all—and by taking another large sip to clear the crud. His brow slowly rose.
Innocently, Kiris rolled his mug between his palms. Ni Musyr glowered at them. At him.
“Why do you ask?” Nelovskevouk eventually said, when Kiris wasn’t forthcoming with more information, too preoccupied with not making eye contact with ni Musyr. It was all consuming. Whatever he’d done to piss her off—or whatever Nazvili had done—he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know. “Yphant?”
“Answer him, vakon,” ni Musyr ordered.
Kiris wished he couldn’t feel the blood draining from his face. The collective of princes was easier to face than her. Even the inquisitors—at least he knew why they hated him. “I… may or may not have overheard another prince—” it was like being ground by a glacier—“doing things?”
“Really?” Her eyes narrowed, and she leant forwards, and Kiris, again, leant back. Not so far that he tilted over his chair this time. “What sorts of things?”
This wasn’t his plan. Her involvement was not in his plans, except as witness. Nelovskevouk’s, yes. Let him eliminate Tevez for a prince’s sin. He was reliable, Kiris and Nelovskevouk’s younger sister, Kuthri, the only exceptions Kiris knew of. But ni Musyr? He didn’t know her. He didn’t know what she would do.
It was almost thrilling.
“Desiccation,” Kiris lied.
Nelovskevouk spun in his seat, and Kiris found himself quite suddenly bearing the brunt of the entirety of his attention. He had lovely eyes. This was already turning into a very tiring day.
“Who?” Nelovskevouk demanded.
For some reason, Kiris didn’t particularly want to look away from him. Ni Musyr was like being ground down, pummeled and pulverized, an unrelenting pressure. Nelovskevouk… wasn’t.
Prince Thaav would die soon.
Kiris glanced at Tevez.
“One of Prince Thaav’s enemies,” ni Musyr said. Smiled. “One of your allies, Pretty Boy. Curious.”
Nelovskevouk ignored her. He leant into Kiris’ space, and Kiris resisted the urge to pull away, too many people, too close to his space, easy to grab, this was fine, it’d be fine—
“You’re certain?” Nelovskevouk whispered. “First Prince Tevez has never been anything but decent and wise, in all the years I’ve known him. Did you… did you mishear?”
He smelled like flowers. Soaps, not the sharp scent of perfume. Sweat, too: those two weeks Kiris had spent in the Dargoulvga palace, helping Nelovskevouk with Kuthri, every morning he’d practiced on the training grounds; perhaps it did the same here. Weapons—yes—but sometimes, dance.
hiii!! it's been a while! hope you're doing well :)
idk how new it is but i like the prince for hire banner!! i gasped so loud when i saw it (AND THE BOOTS ON IT) on your recent prince for hire deleted scenes post lol
@shrunkupthejams!! Life is good :) Hope it is for you, too!
And yes!! Banners!!!! @daisywords made them for me a bit ago, and they're fantastic. She nailed the colors and images and font and yeah. Any opportunity to use? 10/10 taking it.
Reason for Deleting: was working on setting up the kidnapped sorcerers thing (relevant with Batar's story-line and then a bit later with a recurring inquisitor who would make a fantastic drinking buddy), but this is still first half. Focus needs to remain on Prince Thaav, rather than the chaos that Kiris is resolutely ignoring.
Ways to fix: continue emphasizing Kiris' blinding loyalty to Prince Thaav, and continue deleting or winnowing those bits which don't support that. Other plot points should be hinted at and set up, but not emphasized.
Excerpt length: 343
Context: It's Kiris' first night in the Turre's Tesendi fortress - his first night surrounded by legit enemies - and while working out his plan to save Prince Thaav, he gets distracted by torn-out confession journal pages, which contain the last remnants of their owners' souls.
I'll be getting around to updating the WIP intro in a short eventually, so keep an eye out.
As for taglist: since it has been a hot minute since I was last actively posting, please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed to/from the taglist. @whimsyqueen @on-noon @houndsofcorduff @stuffaboutwriting @shrunkupthejams
Kiris was sure that if he were within Prince Thaav’s quarters, he would find the old prince snoring loudly enough to shake Tesendi’s walls. As it was, he could only hear their snapping soul, see it in flickers of sunshine yellow through the haze of ryd, and imagine its warmth. He knew where they were. He didn't know about the journals’ owners. Kiris listened behind him for the guards and found them safely distributed between their chambers and the living quarters, and braced himself against his desk. The pages fluttered like slaughtered things beneath him.
Carefully, Mahehv as a fluttering, scarlet anchor, he lead the realms thinner. Beyond and before Prince Thaav: their fellow princes, servants, and guards. Walls. Turre dead—long dead. Servants like Verosa hustling about in oddly narrow halls.
Farther.
Prince Ysiik, awake. In her quarters, however, and not near Prince Thaav’s: no concern tonight. Those other Prince Thaav-irritated princes, asleep.
Farther.
Ta Ritasa in his quarters, with company. Kiris moved by swiftly.
‘L Tuola in hers, the same dead soul which covered her quiver in crystalline clarity next to her bedside. Within her bed, Kiris corrected, and then moved even faster from her. Downwards.
Aathriok’s parent, weeping on the unyielding floor of the dining hall. Weeping, pulling towards Empathy and singing of dolorous bells, tolling and crying and—
Mahehv twitched against his neck.
—farther.
The green sanctuary goddess, barely existing under the Currents’ skies. Somehow surviving. Her hunger was like cracking ice, her desperation like drums, her—
Farther.
Here.
Polarized fear.
Studies, and restraints.
His people.
When Kiris withdrew from ryd, it beat into his body and collapsed him under his desk, Prophecy pounding for release and promising relief. When he could feel Mahehv’s claws again over his own pain; when he could hear it chirping and its feathers rustling over the lives of countless people and innumerable things; when he could open his eyes and see solid outline; when he could think again, he realized by choosing not to be oblivious, he’d taken a bathtub to his ‘save Prince Thaav’ plan.
There’s such a difference between late stage Kiris and early Kiris and I’d very much prefer to be working with late stage Kiris but alas. I must edit him to there, first
