#prinnyramblings

[armagnac-army]

Hmmm... You are a little deceiver, don't you?

Why do you call yourself armagnac army, when there isn't any in uniform? Could you at least work on that?

- Prinny ❤️

(( @prinnyramblings ))

THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ROI DE ROSBIF ????

ARE YOU DEMANDING I DRESS MY FUCKING BRANDY UP IN UNIFORMS

WHY

[mayors-son]

@the-little-miss-poet @prinnyramblings

Brad stepped into the room; he had zero idea why he agreed to this but he might as well have some pleasant company, plus had this place whatever it was made him sink so low he'd act rude to a child?

S0 wh4t 1st th1s 4ll 4b0ut?

He looked around the room; with that trademark frown of his, it wasn't one of annoyance more so it was just his 'resting neutral expression'

Y0u m3nt10n3d s0m3 k1nd 0f p4rty...S0 uh h3r3 1 4m.

His tone was still soft; after all he didn't want to scare a child; especially one that had been nice to him.

So what is this all about?

You mentioned some kind of party...So uh here I am.

[everyones-favourite-marshal]

My, my, my!

Among all those gallant souls who march beneath the banner of that Corsican fellow, Napoleon, setting aside, of course, my most cherished Junot, I must declare, with all the authority of taste and refinement, that you, sir, shine the brightest star of the constellation.

M for Marvelous, U for Unparalleled, R for Resplendent, A for Astonishing, and T for Transcendent… Such letters scarcely begin to capture the essence of your dazzling character, my most exquisite Dandy King.

Once, I confess, I might have fancied the title of Dandy King belonged solely to me. Yet, my darling fellow, in you I behold a rival so exquisite that envy melts into admiration. You are my true peer in elegance, my royal twin in taste.

And so, permit me to indulge the most delicious of wishes: that you might one day bestow upon me the divine pleasure of your company in my own little temple of delight, The Debauchery Palace.

I await your reply with the greatest anticipation.

With pure admiration and honest affection,

-George IV, your dear Prinny.

@prinnyramblings

Oh oh?

Well you caught my curiosity, finally someone who can match my 'fancy' well almost I have always done it better if I do say so myself, of course I am the brightest star in the sky the one and only.

Glad to hear you agree with me despite our hopefully friendly rivalry; I'm glad we finally reached an agreement on who 'outwitted' the other, but don't fret my dear fellow.

As for your invitation it'd be happy to drop by and enjoy a tour followed by a hopefully luxurious meal among other earthly and unearthly comforts.

Hoping this letter finds you well.

-𝒥𝑜𝒶𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓂-𝒩𝒶𝓅𝑜𝓁é𝑜𝓃 𝑀𝓊𝓇𝒶𝓉

@prinnyramblings

[les-ducs-de-valmy]

Greetings, you well esteemed Duc de Valmy, Marechal Kellerman.

Now, I daresay this missive might occasion a raised eyebrow or two, wouldn't you agree? Coming, as it does, from the very Regent of my blessed nation; a nation, I needn't remind you, that your beloved France has for a considerable stretch deemed its most… inconvenient of neighbours.

Indeed, I myself may have, in times past, exerted a modicum of… shall we say… spirited effort in maintaining this… spirited disagreement between our respective realms

However, as one discovers with the passage of time and eternity, the winds of change, what? And to behold! Here we are, basking in the Afterlife realms, whilst our nations below have, I'm reliably informed, embraced a state of – dare I say it – amicable accord! Why, I even hear tell of iron steeds traversing the very land that once echoed with the thunder of cannon! Trains, gentlemen! Trains, if you can credit such a contraption! A most singular development, wouldn't you concur?

Pray forgive this torrent of words, but you see, a rather prodigious gift of speech has ever been my particular forte. A talent, alas, that the common rabble, in their infinite dullness, have rarely possessed the wit to truly savor.

Yet, among those mediocre fellow, there is one soul, a gentleman of your own acquaintance, I daresay – indeed, a principal reason for this very correspondence – who possesses the rare discernment to truly value my conversational gifts.

I speak, of course, of my dearest, my most singularly adored, General Jean-Andoche Junot. The very air I draw into my lungs is but a testament to him, each sigh a whispered utterance of his name, and every beat of this royal heart devoted entirely to his magnificent person. His laughter, I assure you, is nothing short of a celestial harmony, and merely a solitary syllable uttered by his divine lips, be it penned upon a page or breathed forth with that most captivating voice... why, it possesses the very power to banish the darkest spectres that dare to haunt my slumber!

This wonderful person, with whom I have been blessed, is the one I fervently desire to marry. So, why don't we talk a little business?

In the course of our recent pleasantries, my ears have, quite fortuitously, gleaned mention of your rather... splendid collection of wines. A pursuit in which I, myself, dabble, you see. However, I possess a distinct... premonition, shall we call it, that your esteemed vintage would lend a rather unparalleled ambiance to the joyous occasion of my forthcoming nuptials.

An occasion, I hasten to add, to which your presence is, most assuredly, entreated!

Therefore, I put it to you, my dear friend: would you deem it within your generous spirit to bestow upon me the honour of such exquisite nectar? Rest assured, your magnanimity shall be met with a recompense most befitting your kind disposition... and, naturally, with the unwavering esteem of yours truly!

Pray, take your leisure in considering my earnest entreaty. I shall await your reply with no small measure of anticipation.

With an singular affection from an heart in need,

-King George IV.

(( @prinnyramblings ))

Marshal Kellermann's eyebrow raises with surprise as he unfolds this missive and finds it to consist of pages upon pages of words that seem to say very little. And the author - the King of England? No, that can't be possible. What would his enemy want with him?

First this letter tells of peace between Britain and France - it had been tentatively achieved in his lifetime, he supposes - but then moves to a much more concerning topic: a direct link between them? Trains? What the hell is a train? The first railway line had been inaugurated seven years after his death, after all.

But for these two nations to so far forget their histories as to link themselves directly to each other through use of... Tunnels? What of the risk of invasion being made so much higher through such an easy bottleneck? This is simply incredible and incredibly stupid!

His eyes ache by the time he reaches the next part of the letter after fighting through the less relevant parts - how is General Junot involved again? Wine... Yes, he has wine, and grows it and sells it here. But what an assault of vocabulary just to ask for a sample! He could've just asked normally, and he would've been quite happy to provide it for such an important figure.

After fighting through a second read of the letter which yields not much more information than the first, he goes to his study and begins to write his (much more concise) reply:

Your Majesty, I am surprised - and honoured - to receive your letter—

Even if the package was so thick and heavy it could probably be used as a weapon of war.

and I would be most pleased to send you samples of the wines made on my estate. Kindly send to me an address, and I shall arrange for delivery.

And please, for the love of God, make the reply containing the address less... This.

Wait, does that say that the King of England is planning to marry Junot? The Afterlife has truly gone mad, it seems, or his eyes are simply so weary from attempting to decipher the barrage of words that they have begun to rearrange themselves in increasingly strange patterns.

I wish to congratulate you on your impending marriage—

Even if one truly has no idea whether or not any of this is even legitimate.

and I thank Your Majesty for his consideration of my estate's wine for use to celebrate the occasion.

Your obedient servant, etc,

But not really, you're still the enemy-

Christophe de Kellermann, Maréchal de l'Empire.

He chooses not to mention the train or this supposed tunnel. He can find no way of wording a response to that civilly. What a failure of national security! Inconceivable!