#private grif

[anger-management-omega]

Actual golf game achievement, Tex has great form.

[honey-sickness]

i found some older rvb art i guess i can post lol?

[redvsblue-headcanons]

Grif can easily rap all of alphabet aerobics

[littlemisspandemonium]

Grifissippi: Urge to write smut

really want to write a feelsy yet smutty Grifissippi one shot where they finally get down and dirty but she’s a little apprehensive at first about her prosthetic leg but Grif is like “fuck it i don’t care let’s bang!”

[pr0gf0x-archiveseeya]

why, are you afraid of bats or somethin- why would i be afraid of bats? and why would you even ask that question? were there bats or something? thats a weird thing to ask for no reason. (simmons n grif designs based off of splingtwanger’s headcanons on twitter!!!)

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

RvB Fluff Week: Protective Grif. Could be shippy or not.

Summary: Grif may not seem the strongest, but fuck with his team and you’ll see just how strong he is!

Simmons was very confused. He had every right to be! Onesecond he’s about to be killed by the Meta, the next he’s being flung around bythe Warthog and Grif’s shitty driving only to suddenly come to a stop with apiece of the Warthog in hand and the Meta charging towards him. Simmons lookedaround desperately for a gun or something other than a broken bumper to defendhimself with. He didn’t have much time to react as the Meta’s hand collidedwith the side of his helmet and Simmons went flying backwards, his ears ringing.

Grif hoisted himself up from the wreckage of the Warthog andlooked around. That had been one hell of a crash. Who knew the Meta was awalking road wall? Grif ran a hand through his hair, vaguely noting he wasmissing his helmet but there was no blood so that was good.

“Simmons?” He called spotting Simmons standing stock-stillin front of the Meta’s path. Grif’s eyes widened. “Run you dumbass!”

Grif screamed as the Meta’s fist collided with Simmons’sface and the man went flying through the air, and through some boulders, only tocrash near the stream and go limp. Grif felt his breathing quicken and his legsbegan to move on their own. Grif saw the Meta lower the barrel of his gun atSimmons, and Grif saw red.

Let it be known, that the Meta could be startled. He mayhave been the shell of a man, but he was still capable of asked “what the fuckjust happened?” and boy was he asking that a lot.

First his time disruption unit malfunctioned and he got toexperience the joys of slow motion. It was rather jarring to start with and theMeta was still trying to fully comprehend what he had experienced when he hadfound the fuck that had broken his time unit. His confusion finally began toclear away as the Meta sent the Maroon sim trooper flying with a well-aimedpunch. By the time he reached the prone trooper the Meta was thinking just abit more clearly, or at least, as clearly as the Meta can think. Which isn’tvery. And he decided that shooting this trooper until he was more lead thanflesh was a brilliant idea!

 So he prepared to fire and he pulled the trigger-

 “Eat my nuts Cockbite!” A shrill battle cry caught the Metaoff guard and the sudden added weight on his back was enough to make the crazedex-freelancer losing his footing. His gun was being wrenched from his hands ashe fired a few bullets off into the distance.

The next thing the Meta knew, he was face down in the mud,his ears were ringing like he had been too close to an explosion, and themaroon sim trooper was missing along with whoever assailed him. The Meta stoodup and picked up his Brute shot. He needed to figure out what had happened andwhere his prey had run off to.

Sarge had watched as Grif sprinted towards Simmons a firebrighter than hell burning in his exposed eyes. The patchwork of white and tanskin on Grif’s face was glistening with sweat and bright red with rage. Sargewould not admit it, but he found himself entranced by the way Grif’s neck fatbounced as he ran towards the Meta. But Sarge still watched as Grif, helmetlessand weaponless, vaulted onto the Meta’s back. Thick thighs wrapped around theMeta’s neck as Grif quickly and almost fluidly, leaned backwards. As Grif fellthe Meta pitched back along with him, Grif’s legs firmly hooked around theex-Freelancer’s neck. As the two hit the ground Grif was up and moving in aninstant. He flipped the Meta, sweeping up the Brute Shot as he did so, and oncethe Meta was face down brought down the back of the Brute shot with surprisingforce. The Brute shot collided with the back of the Meta’s head with an echoingcrack and the menace went limp on the ground.

Grif tossed the Brute shot off to the side, his eyes stillburning with rage, and moved back to Simmons. As Grif picked up Simmons’unconscious body Sarge made sure to grab Gif’s helmet before he made his way toGrif. Wordlessly Sarge led the seething man out of Valhalla.

“Wha? Where the fuck am I?” Simmons hissed, trying to get alook at his surroundings.

“Oh dude your up! Thank fuck!” Simmons blinked into thegloom of… some kind of stone building, with lots of sand. Great. But there wasTucker, leaning against an entrance way in full armor.

“What are you doing here Blue!” Simmons demanded. As hetried to stand up and find a weapon pain shot through his skull and Simmonsfound himself collapsing back into the make-shift bed beneath him. Tuckergroaned.

“I’m keeping watch on you so that bitchy orange assholecould get some actual sleep. The way he was acting you’d think you two weremarried or some shit!” Simmons swallowed and averted his gaze. Tucker laughed. “Noway! Seriously?”

“Fuck off! At least I didn’t give birth to an alien!”

“Dude? Don’t bring Junior into this.” Tucker’s voicehardened. “All I’m trying to say is that it’s about damn time.”

“What?” Simmons sputtered, his head was swirling enough asit is, and Tucker talking didn’t help.

“When did you two hook up? Was it back at Blood Gulch? If itwas Church owes me a fuckton of money!” Tucker exclaimed.

“What’s all the racket?”

“Oh hey Sarge! Simmons’ is up!” Tucker called, turning toleave. As Tucker left Simmons was surprised to see not Sarge, but Grif boltinginto the chamber, eyes wild. Tucker chuckled as he left. “I’ll leave youlove-birds alone.”

“Yeah yeah!” Grif waved Tucker off, making a beeline forSimmons.

“Where’s your helmet?” Simmons asked as Grif flopped on topof Simmons’ legs.

“Lost it. Think Sarge has it.” Grif mumbled. Under Grif’smop of greasy brown curls Simmons could see the dark circles surrounding hiseyes.

“You need that! Seriously do you have a death wish?” Simmonsasked, his natural tendency to nag taking over.

“You apparently do!” Grif hissed and Simmons flinched. Grif’seyes peered up at him, bright blue with a fire that would make the devil cryfor help. Grif was pissed.

“I-“

“No! I talk, you listen!” Simmons shut his mouth as Grifstood up and began to pace. “What were you thinking? I told you to run! Andwhat did you do? You stood still like an idiot with the Meta charging you, thefuck were you thinking?”

Simmons bit his tongue, he knew better than to interrupt Grifwhen he was in a fit. Besides, he hadn’t really been thinking.

“Sorry.” Simmons finally said after a solid minute of Griffuming at him. Grif stopped in his pacing and flopped down next to the bedagain. Simmons ran his hand through Grif’s hair once more and Grif sighed.

“Don’t do that again.” Grif commanded.

“Yes sir.” Simmons smiled a bit as Grif pouted.

“I fucking mean it, the next time the Meta charges you, youbetter fucking run or-“

“Or he’ll sleep on the couch?” Grif and Simmons’ turned tothe door way and to Tucker who had returned sans helmet and was smirkingbroadly. “You’re both so cute when you’re domestic!”

“Get the fuck out!” Simmons squeaked, reaching for the nearestheavy object and chucking it at Tucker. Unfortunately all he found was a handfulof sand and Tucker just laughed as he ran away from the room. A few secondslater Sarge sprinted by, his shot gun out and shouting at Tucker to leave hisboys alone. Simmons smiled just a little and nudged the dozing Grif.

“Hey fatass. Go to sleep.”

“No. Gonna stay here. Make sure you don’t do anything elsestupid.” Simmons sighed as Grif yawned and fell back into a light doze by thebed.

“At least get in the bed dumbass, you’ll hurt yourselfsleeping like that. Then who’ll protect me?”

 Mhm.” Grif lazily climbed up next to Simmons, his largearms grabbing a hold of Simmons’ waist and pulling the weedy man close like aprecious teddy bear. Simmons rolled his eyes and settled back down on the bed,closing his eyes and drifting back into sleep next to his husband.

[alchemistmaycry]

Goddammit Grif.

Just. Goddammit.

I feel like Kimbell and Doyle are within their rights to shoot him in the face.

[chuhiros]