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Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and wasn’t feeling a run AT ALL so I took to the spin bike for a YouTube rap cycle class and some heavy ass weights. Felt good, good and angry 😂💪 but I am in the worst mood.

#personal #trying to kick my own ass #kick my ass into a good mood #probably just hungry

After being fed well for 8 days and experiencing fresh (v cold!) air, I’m back in my own cave. I feel as if the past week never occured at all.

It’s cold here bc I turned the heat all the way down, and it’s been below zero for a while. it’s taking forever to heat up and I’m shaking

It goes without saying, I suppose, that I don’t have any food and I’m not feeling like finding food is an option. I should have gone home with my mother even though I really wanted to be alone.

Life is so overwhelming. I miss @prygelknabe but I can’t bring myself to contact them except in this half-assed manner. (Sorry. i love you.)

I’m feeling overall regretful about my upcoming trip to Japan, even if I am also feeling regretful of my current life.

I’m just like.. starting to realize that my quality of life is very poor and I’m not at all sure how to improve it.

Tomorrow I’m seeing an old friend and a boyfriend that she lives with. I don’t feel particularly up for it. But .... whatever.

I feel like I can take these breaks from living daily life, visiting someone who makes me dinner, going on a holiday - but ultimately I’ll return to this.... and i don’t know what the purpose of this is. there’s nothing that I want to be doing. I’m going through the motions of life because what else am I to do? But I don’t particularly care for it.

#kit doesn't know when to shut up #sorry this is so gloomy #I'm fine #probably just hungry #maybe I'll force myself to eat noodles