#feeling maudlin

[clockwayswrites]

I'm glad I found writing again.

Someday when my hands inevitably give out on me, tendons fraying their last, at least I'll still be able to speak my stories into life.

At least there will still be that.

[alessariel]

I always thought there would be enough time to achieve something lasting. Something to be proud of.

But time is going so fast.

I learned that two very close friends of mine are seriously ill last week and it was a powerful reminder of mortality.

Tomorrow, it could be me, my time could be cut short and what would I have to show for myself then?

Not a whole lot.

[littlefluffbutt]

Sis had been clearing off bookshelves and we've been weeding out stuff. There was one old folder that had a lot of old crochet patterns including some sweater patterns I used for Bella and I broke down and cried.

Bella was tiny even for a Yorkie and as a puppy nothing really fit her and since Maine winters are cold I made her her sweaters:)

I just miss her so badly. 13 years is a long time and even though she was so little she took up a large space in my heart...

[name-me-regret]

Sneak Peek of LTTF - Chpt 17

I seem to be giving away all my secrets. Perhaps I’m feeling maudlin, who knows 🤷🏽‍♀️ but I just thought I’d drop a sneak peek of next month’s (?) chapter to anyone actually looking at my tumblr. Like, one person? Lmao i dunno 😂 

The excerpt is under this lovely cut

He approached the door and knocked before waiting, amused as he heard the muffled chaos on the other end. Although, he knocked a second time when he heard a crash as something fell. “Is everything okay in there?”

“We’re fine! Almost finished with my hair!”

Buck smirked as he leaned against the wall next to the door. “Okay, well, let me know if you need something for your hair; a brush, hair clips... a hawk saw?” Buck joked. He’d seen Maddie’s hair most mornings when he wasn’t working and she had yet to brush it. So, maybe a hacksaw wasn’t such a bad idea, or at the very least, scissors.

He snickered when he felt his phone vibrate, taking it out and seeing two middle-finger emojis, knowing she couldn’t curse where Jack could hear and repeat. So, he was wearing an, admittedly, shit-eating grin when Maddie finally opened the door.

“You look nice, and I see you didn’t need the hacksaw,” he teased cheekily. Her glare promised retribution.

Buck turned his attention to Jack, wearing an orange dress, and he asked her to twirl for him, which she was all too happy to comply with a giggle. “Very beautiful, sweetheart.”  

They left the house got into Buck's Jeep. The went to see a movie, The Emoji Movie, which was a horrible as it sounded and Buck barely paid attention to it. He mostly spent the time texting Eddie, who was so happy it wasn’t him suffering through the atrocious movie. While Buck had been made to sit a lot of terrible films that Jack loved either way, this was by far the worst one to date. It was pretty bad.

Well, it only mattered what Jack thought, and she'd loved it. After that they went for burgers which they ate on a picnic table at a nearby park. As they ate their fries (which were crispy and perfectly seasoned) and watched Jack play with a little the boy in what looked like tag, Buck could feel Maddie’s eyes on him.

Buck purposely ignored her, because he knew she wanted to talk, and he was sick of talking about it. He just wanted to enjoy their outing of a crappy movie, greasy food, and just forget about everything for awhile.

[thededleadragoria]

.

It's been so long I can no longer recall which came first. The relationship that fell apart because my partner wasn't feeling fulfilled (because it's hard to explain being ace if you don't yet know what asexuality is), where I only worked out how to have saved things, that I would have been fine with an open relationship if he'd only thought to ask first, or tell me some time in the week after, or the various polygamy fics I read.

Did the idea of a casual open relationship shape the type of fanfiction I prefer? Was it the first real solution that came to mind because I'd fallen back into old habits after a relationship fell apart? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Biromantic, asexual, no interest in sex and all the interest in other things. Is it the open relationship I desire, or is that the only way I can envision, from experience, getting what I want out of a relationship without watching my partner relax into sleep and feeling something twist inside because of why they're content and what I did before.

Honestly, I think I just want a hug.

[biteyourbetters]

i dont want to be invisible but i do enjoy being anonymous

[darkarfs]

Sixteen years on and the brilliance of ‘Tender Buttons’ remains. I listened again to all the Broadcast albums recently. couldn’t for years. Too sad. They’re as amazing as I remember, with these new little details that I’m hearing for the first time, which is pretty amazing.

[fallenhero-rebirth]

secret spoilers with no context

"I thought we were supposed to never see each other again."

"You're full of surprises."

"That's true."

"But this is not your doing. I promised Ortega I'd watch you."

"You could have said no."

"Have you ever tried saying no to ${him}?"

"Point. Does ${he} know you kissed me?"

"Did I?"

"At least that's the way I remember it."

"I've been known to make bad decisions."

"And I am one."

"The walking definition of one."

"I am back on my feet, yes."

"Too bad you're still a pushover without your armor."

"I did this for years without any armor," you say, giving her a steady glare. "Longer than you."

"I've seen the footage."

"Have you now?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I study my enemies."

"That is flattering."

"That you're my enemy?"

"Of course. I'd like to think I've worked hard at it."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Yes. Is it working?"

"You're not dead yet."

"That's something, I suppose."

"And not forgiven either."

"I've got no interest in forgiveness. I stand by my actions."

"If you had apologized back in the hospital, I would have knocked you out."

"And now?"

"You touch my mind again and I will kill you."