hi, my gf sold her phone and she’s been logged into her accounts on my phone, i got curious and looked through some of her messages ( i know i’m in the wrong in this part) but i found out when she was unsure in the early relationship she slept with her ex ( i knew she was sleeping with someone though) and that the reason she was unsure is because i’m still new to sex and i’m not that great. it’s been eating away at me for these past few days and idk what do to
I think most of us have been there so don’t even worry about that. I know I’ve looked into my husband’s messages before when we were just dating. But back then he would have a password on his phone and I thought that was suspicious. Now that we’re married, he’s told me what his passwords are and his phone doesn’t have a lock on it so I’m not concerned. Personally I think that’s how all relationships should be. The moment you start dating someone, you should be able to hand them your phone, still logged into everything, and have no worries about it - able to leave the room, etc. I wouldn’t say give a new partner your passwords because if the relationship ends bad, them knowing that stuff will be awful. I just mean, don’t lock anything when with them.
Cheating is cheating no matter the reason. It isn’t fair to the person you’re with. Whether it’s early on in the relationship or it’s months or years into it - that does not matter. Whether you’re good at sex, don’t want to have sex often, whatever. It does NOT matter. Cheating is cheating and it’s NOT OKAY!
You need to confront them. If you keep this hidden it’s just going to eat away at you and that can make the relationship really awkward and can even eventually ruin it completely. Just be completely honest with them and tell them that they left something open on your phone and you knew had a feeling something was going on and you had to be sure, because without knowing for sure what driving you insane.
Not everyone can come back from being cheated on. After it happens, many relationships don’t work because it’s so hard to ever trust the person again. You have to ask yourself if you’re going to be able to continue this relationship. I actually made a video about this EXACT topic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmeaP5SG3QM&t=282s
Watch it and go over those questions with yourself and figure out if this is going to work. But I do know I believe you should confront them either way.
As for not being experienced, oh well. That’s not an excuse for them to go somewhere else. Tell them you want to be better. Not only for yourself but for them too. Tell them you want them to teach you things and to be patient and understanding. Also don’t be afraid to watch porn and read articles. You can learn a lot by reading things online. And don’t be scared to try new things in bed. The only way you’ll ever get better is by trying new things and if you tell your partner out front “I’m really nervous but I want to learn new things, so can we try _____?” and I don’t see why they would say no (unless it’s something a bit extreme that they simply aren’t into but that’s completely different).
