Who is the best at wrapping gifts? (genius engineer vs. perfectionism vs. force of will vs. trying his best)
genius engineer = melkor, perfectionism = mairon, force of will = thuringwethil, trying his best = gothmog
No, but seriously. You’re lucky if Melkor even wraps your gift. So far, he has remained immune to criticism. Mairon treats wrapping like an engineering project. He gets out the tape measure and the x-acto knife, I kid you not. Gothmog...tries--like, really hard. It never turns out well. Thuringwethil just takes it to a professional to be wrapped. It’s always really pretty--bows and all.
5 things you’ll find in my bag: I’m not really using a bag right now since not in school and I otherwise travel light. I can give you things in my pockets: my mp3 player, a to-do list or more than one, coins, right now since it’s winter hand lotion, and uhhhhh my keys
5 things you’ll find in my room: snowglobes, my sauron funko pop, TARDIS lamp, grond hiding in my closet covered in clothes (no really), a plate of rocks that @eomer gave me that I haven’t put away yet cause I have no container big enough whoops
5 things that make me feel happy: being under the blankets when it’s 20 freaking degrees out, garlic bread, angbang, hot showers, birdwatching
5 things I’m currently into: Duolingo, Sims 4, The Punisher, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, System of a Down
5 things on my to-do list: make christmas cards for friends, pay rent, do laundry, start on a solid timeline for my fic, watch some of the movies I brought up here gdi
Can we have a history of the Melkor v. Gothmog prank wars? ( sorry, I might have sent this already, I'm not sure )
(If you did, then I either missed it or tumblr ate it--sorry friend!!)
Anyway, here’s an unnecessary Wikipedia-style summary of the Melkor v Gothmog prank wars for your enjoyment? reading pleasure? consideration. (under a cut because I, much like these two idiots, have a stunted sense of restraint)
The Gothmog-Melkor prank wars (ongoing) are a series ofconflicts being waged largely within the confines of Angband Enterprises, withsome skirmishes spilling into surrounding areas, such as local dive bars andapartment complexes (see also: theThanksgiving incident).
Preliminary skirmishes
There is some disagreement as to exactly which incidentsparked the war proper. Certainly, therewere early incidents that contributed to the outbreak of the war. These include, but are not limited to: thattime Gothmog threw the dregs of drink at Melkor, the time directly precedingthat in which Melkor told Gothmog, who had recently shaved his head, that helooked like a “demented cue ball”, as well as several similar (admittedlyjuvenile) spur of the moment pranks. However, most major involved parties agree that the war truly began withthe horn-to-brakes incident.
The horn-to-brakesincident
The incident occurred approximately six months after Melkorand Gothmog met. Melkor had beendrinking at the bar where Gothmog was a bouncer and was, let’s say,intoxicated. That’s a polite word fordrunk, right? Anyway, Gothmog had promisedMelkor a ride home, but had gotten stuck at work later than he hadanticipated. Melkor, predictably, gotbored while waiting and wandered outside definitely not looking fortrouble. There is some dispute as towhether he had help initiating the prank, given that he was ostensibly fairlyintoxicated; however, sources agree that Melkor a) is good at pretending to bedrunker than he is, and b) had approximately zero other friends at the time theincident occurred, thus making the possibility of an accomplice very unlikely.
While the setup remains obscure, there are some known facts—namely,that Melkor managed to break into Gothmog’s car and connect the horn to thebrake lines. When Gothmog approached the stopsign at the end of the street and braked, the horn sounded, startling him andcausing him to swerve into said stop sign. There was minimal damage to the car; Melkor, however, laughed so hard hepeed himself. Melkor maintains to thisday that he was the more injured party in this incident. Gothmog vehemently disagrees.
Major prankingincidents
I. The lock change incident
a. Gothmog changed the locks to Melkor’s apartmenton a night when he knew Melkor was getting, let’s be less generous and say,shitfaced. Melkor was, predictably, flummoxed. Backfired slightly when Melkor pounded on hisown door so persistently that his neighbors called the cops, resulting inGothmog having to go pick him up from jail. Occurred soon after the horn-to-brakes incident.
II. The jump scare incident
a. Melkor bribed an engineer (“computer nerd”, inhis words) to program random icons on Gothmog’s desktop to trigger loud jump scarevideos. Backfired slightly when Gothmogknocked his monitor off the desk, breaking it.
III. The ID incident
a. Gothmog got the security department to reprogramMelkor’s ID and lock him out of every room in the building. Backfired slightly when Melkor refused to doany work at all until Gothmog put it back.
IV. The ‘out of business’ incident
a. In the second year of business for Utumno,Thuringwethil was out of town for a week for a professional conference. Over the weekend, while Gothmog was probablyat home like a normal person, Melkor paid a bunch of movers to move everythingfrom Utumno headquarters to a random rented building a block away. He also paid every Utumno employee tostubbornly insist that this had always been their headquarters. Gothmog was losing his mind untilThuringwethil came back, called them both idiots, and made Melkor moveeverything back.
V. The roof incident
a. Gothmog lured Melkor to the roof with thepromise of free beer and water balloons to lob at pedestrians. When Melkor arrived, Gothmog left, lockinghim on the roof overnight. Directlyfollowing the ‘out of business’ incident.
VI. The Thanksgiving incident
a. Occurred on the third thanksgiving the triospent together. Gothmog was up early tostart cooking the holiday dinner. Aftera few hours of prep, he took a nap on Melkor’s couch. While he slept, Melkor went out, bought afinished turkey, and recreated the scene from A Christmas Story, in which the turkey is destroyed by aneighboring pack of half-wild hound dogs. Very nearly caused Gothmog to have a heart attack, prompting the only occasionon which Melkor conceded he mighthave gone too far.
VII.The Wikipedia incident
a. Melkor’s Wikipedia page, which he checksobsessively regularly, was updated to include a variety of outlandish andinaccurate information. Gothmog maintainsto this day he was not the culprit. Melkor does not believe him.
VIII. The pants incident
a. Gothmog, having recently watched Mean Girls (for the eight millionthtime), decided to break into Melkor’s house and cut the crotch out of all ofMelkor’s pants. Regarded as perhaps themost spectacular of all backfires—Melkor wore the pants anyway, until HR beggedhim to stop, Thuringwethil threatened to quit, and Gothmog finally relented andbought him new pants.
As stated above, these are only the main (noteworthy?) incidents,and certainly don’t represent all the stupid shit these two have done in thelast decade. Also note: this is anongoing war, and most experts agree the stakes continue to rise, as neitherparty wants to be perceived as ‘unoriginal’ or ‘backing down’. Sources close to the conflict indicate thereis some trepidation within Angband as to exactly how far this is going to go, andhow serious the consequences will be. Affected parties can only wait and see what the future brings, and hopethat one of the two combatants will find some as yet undiscovered store of ‘restraint’or ‘maturity’.
What would happen if the Anggang played truth or dare?
First of all, Gothmog is the only one who ever suggests playing it. The other three only agree when at least 2/3 of them are drunk. Thuringwethil is the 1/3 who never agrees and only plays unwillingly.
Gothmog always picks dare. 100% of the time. He’s ended up doing some pretty dumb shit, almost exclusively at Melkor’s behest.
Mairon will almost always pick truth, which everyone (read: Melkor) hates. Why? Because no one can tell if he’s lying. He has no tell. He could literally say anything, and no one can prove he’s lying. He’ll start picking dare when Melkor and Gothmog complain. If the dare is too crazy, he’ll take the penalty.
Thuringwethil leans truth but will pick dare more readily than Mairon does. Melkor likes to give her super crazy dares, which she will always agree to if-and-only-if Melkor does it at the same time. They’ve done some pretty ridiculous tandem dares, tbh.
Melkor is an even mix between truth and dare. Dare usually ends with some kind of injury with about a 15% chance of emergency room visit. Truth either ends with a bold-face lie (when he’s not too drunk), or with an uncomfortably honest confession (when he’s very drunk).
It almost always ends in a shouting match, an argument, and/or a trip to the hospital, promptly followed by a three-way vow to never play again. Gothmog just laughs, waits until enough time has passed, and makes them play again.
A concept: Once Gothmog got so annoyed because of Melkor's usually shit, he physically picked him up and dumped him into a nearby garbage can just to shut him up (why yes this is inspired by that one ask).
Substitute a dumpster for the garbage can and you’ve almost certainly got something that happened after a good old-fashioned Friday night bender.
This randomly occurred to me earlier-- Is mairon like inhumanly pale? His total lack of outside and standard ginger complexion seems to point to this conclusion (or really cute freckles????).
YES. He’s super pale and burns to a crisp after like, seven minutes of sun exposure. Which would be a pain, if he ever spent more than seven minutes in the sun. Fortunately for Mairon, it suits him. He’s got the ginger hair going for him, plus like, a metric fuckton of freckles. It’s a good look. Ask Melkor.
