So a while back I had posted this OTP AU prompt thing and someone asked about the fake relationship/marriage one. I can’t for the life of me remember which of you lovelies it was now but... I’ve been thinking of it since and, well, I should be working on the fics I already have going but... this happened. So far it has no official title, but may if I decide to keep going with it. Because I need another fic... obviously. And yes it is another University, professor!Solas, one because... yes.
Emma Lavellan started the night feeling on top of the world. It was the holiday party for all the University staff so she knew that Cullen would be here. She’d enlisted the help of Dorian for the nights plans. The perfect dress, the perfect make-up, the perfect everything. It wasn’t that she still had feelings for Cullen, but one had to look good for an ex. Especially when you’d been in a relationship with the person for years.
The dress was a soft blue that brought out the blue of her vallaslin and her eyes. It rested off her shoulders to show off her neck and the curves of her breasts. The dress hugged to the dip of her waist before flowing out. She’d opted for nothing but a pair of earrings and make-up that was a more natural look, although it was still more than she was used to wearing.
Dorian had helped her pick out the dress and put on the make-up. She was more than willing to accept the fact that his expertise on these things far outshone her own and, not for the first time, thanked her lucky stars that she had such a friend. She still felt grateful despite the fact that he was supposed to be her wingman for the night, but had vanished an hour or so ago.
This had left her with Leliana and Vivienne which, of course, led to a political discussion on the Chantry and its attempts at regulating the University. An interesting matter of which Emma leaned more towards Leliana’s point of view, which was the Chantry should have very little say over what the university taught, if any at all. Vivienne was the opposite.
As much as she would usually love the chance for an intelligent debate, tonight her nerves were too on edge. Despite her confidence in her looks, she was nervous to see Cullen. It had been the middle of last school year when they’d broken up and she’d only seen him in passing for the rest of the year. During the summer she had not seen him at all and, then again, they’d manage to mostly avoid each other the first part of this year. A rather impressive feat in truth, considering not only did they work together, but their younger siblings were engaged to each other as well.
The longer the night went on with no sign of him, the more nervous she’d become. So, as the discussion turned more heated, she excused herself to go get more wine at the bar.
She got up to the bar just a moment after a male elf had walked up. As she went to stand beside the man, she realized she had seen him briefly across the room as he spoke with Varric. This must be the new history and mythology professor then. The one Varric had been so proud of finding and convincing to come fill the position.
He spoke in a rich smooth voice to the barkeep, “Bourbon on the rocks, please.”
The bartender acquiesced and she couldn’t help looking over to the man as he waited for his drink. Most of the time she thought men who ordered drinks on the rocks came off a bit douche bagish. It was a drink with the specific purpose of making a guy seem more sophisticated than he was.
With this man however, it worked.
He was tall, at least a head taller than her, which was odd for an elf. His face had no vallaslin, sharp defined features, a sculpted jawline, and full lips. He had no hair, but it was impossible to tell in this light if that was due to baldness or shaving. He dressed in a formal suit that had an air of old school sophistication to it. He held himself tall, shoulders back, and she imagined under that suit he would be rather fit.
No, this was not a man who needed or desired to prove himself to anyone. He certainly did not need a drink to give himself an air of sophistication. He ebbed it.
She watched as he subconsciously pulled at his shirt cuff, the only hint that he was ordering straight up alcohol for a reason other than preference. It brought to mind her first time at one of these things. It was overwhelming, she was more of a hermit by nature so having people constantly in her face had made her down far more drinks than was wise.
Emma looked up at him and smiled, “Royeaux is more effective.”
“I’m sorry?”
He turned to look at her fully. When she caught his eyes, she forgot how to breath. They were an intense steely blue that seemed to look right through her directly to all her dark secret places. Which, of course, was ridiculous and she was being an idiot. Maybe she’d had enough to drink already...
She cleared her throat and gestured to the drink the bartender was sitting in front of him. “The drink, a royeaux. It’s more powerful, makes the night go faster.”
“Ah,” He reached out to take the drink, long fingers wrapping around the glass, “Am I so obvious?”
She gave a light laugh, “Only because I remember my first time. I doubt anyone else noticed.” She turned to the barkeep, “A glass of the red, the Antivan one please.” Then she turned back to the elf, “I’m Emma Lavellan, I teach literature classes here.”
“Solas Fen’harel. You may call me Solas if you like. I teach history and mythology classes. I am pleased to meet you Professor Lavellan.”
“Emma is fine.” The bartender set her glass of wine down and she took it giving him thanks before turning back to Solas, “So how do you know---”
“Emma.”
She didn’t even have to turn to know who was behind her. She would recognize that voice anywhere. Though her heart beat fast in her throat, she managed a smile to Solas, “Sorry.”
“Do not concern yourself. I am sure we will have another chance to talk before the night is over.” With that he moved down the bar a bit so he could start a conversation with the barkeep.
She turned to find Cullen standing behind her, fidgeting, “Hey.”
He glanced from her to Solas as he said, “I’m sorry to interrupt I just… I needed to tell you something important.”
“If it’s about our siblings impending nuptials you can tell your brother I’ve already taken care of the emergency. I told Tess I’d pull some strings to fix the---”
“It… isn’t that.” He shifted, and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Cullen, just come out with it already.”
Cassandra walked up next to him, looking tall and beautiful, if somewhat annoyed, in a long dress with hints of silver that complimented her skin and hair. “I think these events get more and more pointless every year.”
Her smile brightened as she looked at Cassandra, “Agreed. I wasn’t expecting to see you this year Cass but I’m glad you came after all and you look lovely. I imagine you’ll be fighting them off again this year.”
Cass looked from Emma to Cullen a frown forming on her face, “You didn’t tell her?”
Emma raised a brow and looked between the two, “Tell me what?”
“I was going to.”
Cass’ face turned stormy, “You said you had already we,” She paused and took a deep breath, “We will discuss this more later. Tell her, now.”
Cass went off in the direction of Leliana with one more glare shot at Cullen. He took a deep breath, “I… well, what I mean is Cass, urhm Cassandra and I we…”
Emma went numb, “You’re dating?”
Cullen let out a woosh of air, “Yes, it didn’t happen till you and I had been done for a while. I was still… well I went to her and one thing led to another… I should’ve told you sooner, Em. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to---”
“It’s fine.” Somehow she managed to keep her voice even, “Not like your dating life is any of my business. I didn’t tell you when I got a new boyfriend after all. So stop fussing.”
His eyes widened a hint and then a smile filled with relief shone on his face, “Oh, you’re dating again too. Is he here?”
She let out a string of internal curses as she took a drink of her wine and desperately thought out a solution that wouldn’t make her look like a complete loser. Why? Why in the world had she said that? It was---
Then Emma remembered the man that stood only a bit behind her. She could still hear the soft baritone of his voice as he spoke to the barkeep. Then, before she could even realize what she was doing, she was turning back to Solas. She moved closer to him and put her arm in his. Solas had been about to take a drink but the glass halted inches from his mouth as his eyes shifted to look at her.
She stood on her tiptoes and lifted herself up against him. She could feel him stiffen beneath her touch and saw his brow arch high. Still, she couldn’t very well stop now. She’d just have to hope he’d go with it.
With her mouth almost touching his ear she whispered, “Please, just play along. I’ll explain later.” Before he could reply she took his arm and turned back to Cullen, “Cullen this is my boyfriend, Solas. He teaches history and mythology here. Solas, this is Cullen he’s the hockey coach.”
“Nice to meet you.” Cullen smiled his golden boy smile, “I hadn’t even realized that the professorship position had been filled this year. We’ve been needing one for a while from all the complaining that Em used to do about it.”
“Yes, it would seem tonight is full of interesting revelations.” He glanced at Emma and set his drink down on the bar, “It is nice to meet you, Cullen. The University hockey team is in the top ten if I’m not mistaken, though I have not had the pleasure of attending a game myself.”
Cullen chuckled, “Em was never one for hockey, but I’d be happy to get you tickets. You can sometimes persuade her with a promise of the right restaurant beforehand.”
Emma blushed, “Cullen, seriously… you make me sound like a glutton. I’m not that easy.”
Solas rested a hand on her back, “We all have our motivators. It is nothing to be ashamed of.” He looked to Cullen, “I would love to attend a game, but I would not wish to trouble you.”
“It’s no trouble at all. I get a certain number of tickets for each game if I want them. I’ll send two your way.”
“Thank you. Now, if you would excuse us, it was a pleasure to meet you but we were on our way to the balcony to get a bit of fresh air. Were we not, Em?”
A soft pressure as the heat of Solas’ palm pressed firmer to the curve of her back.
She cleared her throat, “Uh yeah. We’ll catch up more later. You should probably find Cass anyways.”
He led her out to one of the balconies removing his hand from her back only when they’d stepped outside. Then he walked to one of the empty corners and she followed. The night was lovely, if cold. It was cloudless so the stars sparkled in the sky, hints of deep color tangled amongst them in the darkness. Pity she wasn’t able to fully enjoy it given the current circumstances.
Emma kept her eyes away from him, shifted from looking at the snow covered grounds to the sky. Her arms hugged to herself only partly because of the cold that nipped at her exposed skin. Not wanting this to go on any longer than necessary she took a deep breath.
“Look this isn’t… it’s a long story and I’m not really… I mean I didn’t...”
“You do not need to explain. The situation is clear enough.”
Warmth engulfed her shoulders, soft fabric seeping warmth into the bare skin of her shoulders. She startled, but by the time she realized what he had done he wasn’t looking at her. Instead, his gaze was turned to the stars as hers had been.
“I will admit you have made this night more,” he paused for a moment searching for the word, “surprising, than I had thought it would be.”
She gave a soft snort, “You mean you haven’t ever had a random stranger call you their boyfriend before?”
One corner of his mouth turned up just a hint, “Not that I can recall. Have you suddenly declared many men you just met your boyfriend?”
“Not that I can recall.”
She took another deep breath as her fingers fidgeted with the edge of his suit coat. It smelled of cedar, old books, and something else she couldn’t quite place but it was… nice. It made the speeding of her heart that much worse and words seemed to stick to the back of her throat.
“I… uhm, I’m sorry. This is stupid.” She shifted and let the coat slide of her shoulders, turning to hold it out to him, “I’m going to go back in there and tell Cullen the truth.”
Solas turned to her. There was a moment where everything seemed to still around them, the music fading away as her eyes locked with his. Then he took the coat and slipped it back on, breaking the spell.
“Tonight, I will play along. After tonight I leave it to you to decide how we ended our... relationship.”
“I...” She couldn’t decide if she was relieved or not.
“Come. Let’s go back inside where it is warm.”
She paused, tried to read his expression but he refused to look at her and his face was a poker face if she’d ever seen one. She sighed, “You don’t have to do this.”
“I know but the game will make the night go faster, if you will continue to play with me.” He smiled and reached his hand out to her, “Emma, will you be my date?”
That smile, it made her heart skip a beat. It had to be the booze and the news about Cullen and Cass. She didn’t even know this man. Another reason she should just say no, apologize, and then they could both go on with their night.
I finally got back to writing my modern Solavellan AU My Neighbor Fen’harel where Solas is a professor, so I had a burning desire to draw him as such haha.
The rest of the week was relatively uneventful. Emmy wasn’t plagued by any more unwanted dreams, and Solas avoided conversations in his bedroom, so she hadn’t heard him again. Fen'harel hadn’t e-mailed her since their last chat, not that she checked multiple times a day. Darcy had adjusted to the new apartment. Everything was officially unpacked.
As for work, the days went by with a mixture of transcriptions, digitizing of old photos, and working through a particularly extensive collection, which had come in shortly before she had started, centered around the Hero of Fereldon. It was interesting, but there was a lot for her to work through. On top of that was the usual e-mails, entering of meeting minutes, and general reference questions sent her way by librarians when they needed extra help or had a patron who wanted access to particularly delicate materials, something her or Merrill would need to supervise.
Today was a Friday which meant a new shipment of donations had come in early that morning. She’d arrived at work by 6 to meet the delivery and since had been working through it with Merrill. As usual, much of it was things that they had no use for. One only needed so many diagrams of old toilets after all. Part of preserving history was deciding what took priority since it was simply impossible to properly store and catalog every single bit of it.
Merrill spoke behind her, “Another toilet. By the Dread Wolf, how many of these are there?”
Emmy snorted, “There have been an awful lot of them with this one. You’d think we were receiving donations from a toilet factory or something. Whoever this private collector was their grandparents must have had some odd fascination for them. Or a kink.”
There was quiet for a moment, “That’s a thing? How does…”
Emmy finished up cataloging the last bit of paper in the box in front of her. When she’d finished typing in the information, she tucked the document into its correct pile and stood, “I’m not sure I want to know, but I’m fairly certain it’s a thing. There’s a kink for everything.”
She glanced over at Merrill as she went to grab a nearby cart. Merrill was shaking her head and mumbled, “Sometimes people confuse me.”
“That makes two of us.” Emmy started moving her document piles onto the cart as she asked, “Ready to take the stuff down? We might actually be out of here by five for once.”
Merrill laughed as she stood to gather her piles, “Oh, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if that happened.”
When they got to the elevator Merrill didn’t question why Emmy chose not to use it. Merrill knew her habits. Instead of using the elevator, she would push a cart into the elevator, hit the appropriate button, and then take the stairs and meet the items. It was never an issue. The elevator was ridiculously slow. Still, Emmy had braced herself for questions the first few times. When none had come, she’d started to relax. The lack of prodding was just another thing to love about her new co-worker.
Just as she was reaching the bottom of the stairs, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Merrill pushed out the cart and looked up, then her eyes went past Emmy’s shoulder, and she beamed.
“Professor Evans! It’s been a while.”
Emmy’s stomach dropped as she turned to find the last man she wanted to see. He stood holding a medium sized tome in his gloved hands. On his lower half, he wore pants that she refused to acknowledge flattered his thighs and sculpted rear. On top, he had a neatly tucked white button up under a dark vest; the sleeves had been rolled up revealing the lightly freckled skin of his forearms.
At Merrill’s words, he had turned his head to look at them. She only caught a flash of his eyes on her before they went to Merrill and he gave the woman an easy smile, “Hello, Merrill. It has been a busy first week back, so I have been unable to make it here much.”
Emmy’s eyes narrowed, and she frowned, “This isn’t a public part of the archives. These items are—”
“I have been given permission. I am well aware of how to handle such things.”
Merrill pushed the cart forward, cheery and completely unaware of the tension that sparked in the air, “Professor Evans has a lot of experience handling old documents. In fact, he has been able to teach me a few new things.” She laughed as she pushed the cart to the area where the first pile of papers was to be stored.
“Be that as it may, these are my responsibility now and—”
He spoke over her as his eyes went back to the book, “Why is this filed under the fall of Arlathan?”
She ground her teeth, “Excuse me?”
“It seems to me this would be more suited under something to do with Tevinter history.” Without looking up, he carefully turned the page and added, “It would perhaps aid you with your answer if you came close enough to see the item in question. I would not bite you if you did.”
She noted he hadn’t said he didn’t bite. She couldn’t help but think it was because she knew he did bite, that he wanted her to be reminded of those circumstances when he had bitten her. How many times had she woken up pleased with the light mark he had left behind on her skin?
“Is there a problem?”
Of course, now his eyes were on her, intent as they took in her face. The feeling of heat that rose to her cheeks made her blood boil.
Damn him.
When she spoke she kept her voice cool, “Just a tiny, inconsequential memory, nothing worth note. Honestly, it’s surprising I even recall it.”
A hint of something flashed in his eyes before they quickly flicked back to the book, “I see. In that case, are you going to come look or shall I start reading passages out loud.”
With as much dignity as she could manage she stormed over to him. The way he held the book forced her to move close to see the text, close enough that she could feel the heat of his body against her skin. It was like sunshine on a warm day and his scent—
Traitorous. Horrible, stupid body.
She forced her eyes to focus on the text in front of her. Ancient Tevene still was not her strongest area of expertise, but she was getting better. As she translated it her mouth moved unconsciously going over each word.
When he spoke, it was hushed so that Merrill couldn’t hear it from her place down the stacks, “You still do that thing with your mouth when you translate.”
At his words, her eyes flicked up to meet his. He was looking at her with that piercing gaze she knew so intimately. The one that had always made her feel more bare and exposed than any time she had been nude with him.
She stood there completely paralyzed by his examination, unmoving even as the voice of reason screamed at her she needed to back away. Even as it reminded her that, in her study of the book, she had pressed herself against his arm and this was not good. Tendrils of longing had already started to wind their way through her, thick and overwhelming.
When she managed to push out words, they were much less chastising than she’d intended. Her body continuing its treachery, “I fail to see how what my mouth does is any concern of yours.”
His eyes flicked to her lips then back to the book, “It is distracting.”
“Oh forgive me, I thought you were here out of professional interest. I will strive to spare you from temptation in the future.”
“Spare me?”
“Yes, temptation is the road to all things bad after all or something like that.”
She saw his fingers flex against the cover, “How do you know I wish to be spared?”
Her heart did an uneven thump in her throat, “Excuse me?”
“I believe you heard me, but I will repeat,” his face remained completely neutral, but she greatly doubted she was holding her composure nearly so well, “How–”
Merrill’s voice chirped in from his other side, “All filed.” Merrill’s eyes went to the book he had been holding, the book that the two of them hadn’t even really addressed, “You two still figuring out the filing for that thing?”
The suddenness of Merrill’s interruption finally got a reaction from Solas. It came in the form of the slightest jump, but it was enough that his arm temporarily knocked against one of her breasts. The action sent a jolt of electricity down her spine and had the small hairs on her nape standing on end.
At least it was enough to finally get her to put space between them. Her voice was impressively neutral when she spoke, “I recognize the text now. It is written by a Tevinter, but it is about the fall of Arlathan. The man was traveling and saw aspects of it, which is the key interest in the diary. Therefore, it is prudent to file it here instead of amongst things related to ancient Tevinter. The rest of the diary holds nothing that we didn’t know about Tevinter through other texts.”
She heard him inhale as he shut the book and placed it back in its proper spot. Then he pulled off his gloves, and she saw the smallest hint of a tremble in his fingers. It was childish, silly, but it made her smile.
Then he spoke, and her smile left, “I wonder, why you assume that this man’s words are fact. We know the Tevinters have a habit of taking and twisting history to their ends, especially when it comes to the People.” As he pulled off the last glove he turned to face her, “I do not mean insult, I am simply curious if you have reasons or are simply taking the words of a dead Tevinter as truth.”
How dare he. He comes into her archives and questions if she is doing her job properly. After all, he had done to her. After everything, he pulls this shit. Arrogant son of a bitch.
“Are you suggesting that I don’t do my research?”
“Not necessarily. I simply was wondering at your reasoning behind believing the diary contained truths instead of made up tales based on things Tevinter found and stole as their own.”
She was surprised that fire wasn’t coming out of her ears in some cartoonish mockery, such was the rage that boiled in her blood. She wanted to wipe that fucking calm look off his face, to push him against the shelves and kick his legs wider. Then she’d put her knee in the little triangle of his groin and pull herself up him, making him grunt with pain.
She’d rip open the collar of his shirt and put her hands around that long graceful neck of his. Then she’d squeeze and squeeze as he struggled beneath her. The scent of his skin, sandalwood, books, and ink, filling her nostrils as she felt the heat of him under her fingertips.
“What are you imagining, Miss Lavellan; your expression is,” He paused a beat, and his tongue darted out to lick his lower lip, “filthy.”
Totally forgetting Merrill was standing right there, she spoke, and her voice came out so husky it would make a phone sex operator sound like a nun, “Bare hands on your neck, strangling you.”
His eyes went dark, “Is that your new kink.”
“It seems to be one you alone bring out in me.”
His pupils got even bigger, eyebrows lifting as he opened his mouth then closed it. It would appear that she had rendered him speechless. It was beautiful.
Merrill cleared her throat, eyes wide as she looked between the two of them, “Are you two–”
“No.” They answered at the same time, in the same tone, as they continued to stare each other down.
“Right. I’m going to uhm… go take the cart back now.” Merrill rushed away, and Emmy hardly registered the ding of the elevator as she went.
With one wide stride, Solas moved, so he was so close to her that the tips of his perfectly polished shoes touched her run down brown boots. She swallowed, her knees feeling like jelly. She wanted to slap him, to tear his eyes out, to rake her nails along his skin, to have his mouth on hers, to devour him as he devoured her in return.
When he spoke his tone was so cool and collected you would think they were two old friends having a conversation over coffee about the latest book they’d read. “Why are you here, Em?”
Her heart clenched at the shortened use of her name, “Don’t call me that.” Then a thought came to her and she glared at him as best she could, given how close he was, “Why? Do you think I came because you were here? That I hunted you down or something?”
Finally, an emotion crossed his face, a small hint of surprise chased quickly by the slight tilt of his head, “Did you?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I didn’t. After it finally sunk in that you’d disappeared, I didn’t look, not even once.” Then her voice fell to a whisper, “It hurt too much.”
“Em.”
She saw his hand move in the side of her vision and took several large steps back away from him, “Stop calling me that, I hate it. And I meant it hurt too much then. When it first happened. After a few months…” She paused then forced the lie out even as her body seemed to protest it, “I just didn’t care.”
With one last glance in the direction of the nearby stacks she turned from him without allowing her eyes to look at his face, only sweeping over his chest, “You know what happened. Everyone knows. After all of that, I just wanted a chance to have a normal life. Try to have a new start.” She gave a soft bitter laugh as she started walking away, “Only my luck could have that attempt end up like this.”
Sure she was no longer fighting to “save the world,” but her life had still managed to remain complicated in creative and messed up ways. Just as she was starting up the stairs, a hand was on her elbow, firm but not enough that she couldn’t yank free if she wanted to.
“I am sorry, Emmy.”
For some reason she didn’t pull away but froze, only moving enough so she could turn her head to look at his chest, the strong line of his jaw, “It was a long time ago. I got over it a long time ago. There’s no need to go there; I don’t want anything from you.”
A lie. Such a huge lie that it burned like acid on her tongue.
“I know, and it is selfish of me, but I need you to know. What we—” She saw his deep breath in the shuddering lift of his chest, “What I felt, it was not a lie.”
His words made her knees go weak once more. She wanted to sink to the floor with the force of them pressing on her. Part of her wanted to really talk to him, to ask him all the things she had wanted to ask him since the day he left. To discuss everything like the two adults they were. But a bigger part of her couldn’t go there because she was terrified it would break her. Only recently had she started to truly feel like she was piecing herself back together again after everything, she couldn’t shatter again.
Instead of being an adult and facing her feelings she pried her arm free as she said, “Are you done or was there more you needed to say to try to make yourself feel better?”
He frowned, “That was not my intent.”
“Wasn’t it? What was your intent then?” His mouth opened, then shut again, and he shifted. She turned from him once more, “As I thou—”
“I would like if we could be civil. I do not expect you to forgive me. I do not expect your friendship or anything else from you but…” She had stopped on the steps, and he paused to find the right words, “I would not make your life harder if I could help it. You must understand that I have my reasons for being unable to leave, if I could, I would.”
Why? Why did those words sting so terribly? If he left that would solve her biggest problem, everything would be simple again or as simple as they could be. She could start trying to build a life for herself. A life without him in it.
He wanted to run from her. Again.
She turned to face him; now she stood three steps above him so was able to look down her nose at him, “Tell me, is it habitual for you to run from all your problems or just from me?”
From the look on his face, she was fairly sure she’d landed a solid punch. He took a deep breath then turned towards the elevator. She thought for a moment he would simply leave, but he stopped before turning back and crossing over to her in a few quick steps. He stood on the bottom step so his face was more even with hers and she was within a foot of him.
“You are the only thing that has ever terrified me enough that I felt I had no other choice. Wrong as I was.”
Despite the fact that his words made a familiar desire pool in her lower belly she managed to keep her tone even, “Oh yes, I’m completely terrifying. The thing of nightmares and you always had a choice, Solas. You could have said something, anything. Broken it off like a normal person. Just vanishing was–”
Now when his hand came up to brush a knuckle across her cheek, she didn’t jerk from him or slap him away. She allowed it even as it made her forget how to breathe. “Cruel. Inexcusable. Unforgivable.” He let his hand fall back to his side with a soft sigh, “All would be appropriate words in this case.” He started to turn and go but then paused, “Emmy, you are not of nightmares. You are of the sweetest dreams; the ones that I never even knew I desired, knew I needed, until you.” He shook his head, “I am sorry. Good night Emmy.”
With that he turned from her, once more going to the elevator. She stood in frozen silence as he waited for the doors to open. It felt like an eternity as she fought for words to say, fought to still the racing of her mind. She felt her body shaking and hated herself for it.
When he did finally step into the elevator, he looked at her one last time. His expression visibly pained, tormented, and so lonely it made her ache. She didn’t move, though something deep in her core was pushing her, telling her to go to him. She couldn’t. She couldn’t let herself surrender to him like that again, never again.
The doors closed and he was gone. She stood there for another minute, took a deep breath, and pulled out her phone. She scrolled through her contacts with shaking fingers till she found the name she wanted. Then she selected it and started up the stairs, phone ringing in her ear.
After she was halfway up, a voice sounded in her ear, “Emmy, so you do know that you can use the phone for more than just texting! It’s a miracle.”
Despite her best efforts, her voice shook as she said, “I would take you up on those drinks now.”
“I’m getting on my coat now.” There was a beat and some rustling from the other end of the line before a hesitant, “Are you alright?”
“I’ll be fine. Just meet me at the Singing Maiden, if Bull is with you bring him along too.”
“As if I could stop him. The man already has his coat on and is half out the door.”
She smiled as she reached the top of the stairs and headed down the hall to her office, “Good. I’ll text Sera.” She paused a beat, “And Dorian?”
She heard the slamming of a car door in the background, “Yes?”
“Thank you. You’re the best.”
“Naturally.”
She gave a small genuine laugh, “See you soon, Dorian.”
With that, she hung up and went to gather her things.
This is written to go with chapter 4 and 5 of My Neighbor, Fen’harel.
Warning: This chapter is semi-nsfw. There is nothing truly explicit in it so I didn’t tag it but there is a small bit that is enough I figured I should give a small warning ;)
Solas leaned forward in the hot bath water to blow out the last of the candles that he had lined along the edge. The book he had been reading, or rather trying to read, was safely discarded on the side of the tub where it would not risk becoming wet. Another benefit of this apartment, it had a good sized soaking tub with a ledge all around that allowed him to indulge in this small pleasure.
As he reached over to open the drain, he released a small sigh. Tonight the indulgence had not kept its usual appeal. Instead of focusing on the words in front of him, his mind had been securely lodged on memories of her, and on the small bark of laughter that he had heard so clearly on the other side of the wall.
There had been no one in that apartment since he had moved in. He had no idea that the walls would be that thin. No. Not walls, wall, it seemed only to be the bedroom. An odd room to have that oversight on, one would think it would be a place where thick walls were desired. Certainly if things were different, if he had her in his bed and another neighbor next door, he would be receiving regular complaints. Then again she had always been beautifully vocal in her lust and if he had the chance again he would---
Enough.
He scowled at the direction his thoughts had gone and curled his fingers several times as he tried to chase such musings from his mind. She was not his to think such things about anymore. If his own reasons for staying away had not been enough, the hate in her eyes when she looked at him surely was. She would never let him touch her again, even if he should ever be fool enough to try.
There was an uncomfortable constriction in his chest as he stood. The water dripped down his skin, the steam doing little to ease the contrast of the cold air on his heated body. He shivered and reached for his towel to dry himself off as the water drained from around his legs. As he did so, he scowled once again at the semi-erection that had formed at the thoughts of her in his bed.
He ignored his arousal as he continued his drying off. By the time he was dry it had receded. It was his custom to sleep in the nude, so he hung his towel neatly before picking up his book and going back to his bedroom. When he entered, he went to set the book carefully on his night stand then reached for the stereo remote to turn off his music.
Once quiet surrounded him, his ears twitched as he listened for her. There was nothing but silence that felt thick in the air around him. She had either gone to sleep or was doing something that made no discernable noise. Not that it was any of his business. Not that he now hung on the chance to hear the slightest sound from her, to know that she was so close to him.
With a shake of his head, he went to his bed and pulled back the soft robin’s egg blue sheets. Then he slid into them, the cotton brushing against his skin as though pointing out that he was still affected by his earlier thoughts, his skin more sensitive than normal. As he pulled the sheets up, he allowed his hands to rest on them. The moonlight shone in from the windows reflecting on his arms and bed. For a moment he debated shutting the curtains.
She had a deep adoration for the night sky and the soft light of the moon.
He would let the curtains remain open.
With one last wiggle to make himself comfortable, he shut his eyes and tried to sleep. The act took him much longer than usual. When he did, it was also lighter than normal, which was saying a lot because he always slept lightly.
This was why he woke almost instantly when he heard the sounds coming from the other side of the wall. She was talking. Not talking. Moaning. Little sounds of pleasure that set fire to his senses.
In less than a beat he was sitting up in his bed. His heart thudding against his skin and in his ears as all the little hairs rose on his arms and nape. When she mewled again, his fingers clenched the sheets. A pained sound escaping from deep in his throat.
He threw off the covers and hurried out of his bed. This was not his to have anymore. He would not, could not, stay here and listen to her. He---
“There. Solas… I…”
Solas.
His hands clenched and his knees felt weak. Her words had made him freeze mid-step. His name. She had moaned his name. She was dreaming about him.
The way the blood pounded in his ears, he was surprised he heard the next part, “Solas. In me, now. I need you to--”
Her words were swallowed by a cry of pleasure and he fled the room. Desperate to rid himself of the sound, he hurried into his living room and turned on the rarely used tv, pressing down on the volume button until the sound engulfed him. He did not even register what was on. Did not care.
He sunk onto his couch and put his face in his hands, gulping in deep, shaky breaths of air. His arousal continued to throb through him, her words sticking to his skin, clawing into his mind and refusing to let go. It was too much. He had no place, no right to do this, but he needed. He needed so badly.
With a growl of frustration, he wrapped his fingers around his erection. Then he leaned back on the couch, shutting his eyes as he let his head fall back. When he moved along himself, it was rough, merciless, almost violent in his need and irritation at himself for being so weak. He did not bother with any lubrication, taking the pain of rubbing himself raw with the pleasure.
It did not take long. As he spilled his heat along his hand and stomach, he sighed out her name. The word a caress along his tongue. It had been so long since he had allowed that name to pass his lips. Now it came out like a plea for salvation. One that he feared, that he knew, could never come.
Once his body had stilled, he inhaled once more and stood. He went into his bathroom to clean himself before going into his bedroom and quickly grabbing his clothing. Luckily she seemed to have quieted, so he was able to be in and out without any other incidents.
As soon as he was dressed he shut off the tv, gathered his briefcase, and was out the door. He would be early to work even for him, but he did not care. He needed out of that space, needed air, distractions, anything really but her so near him and yet so far.
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The rest of his day went by as usual. For once he was happy that the student’s expected nothing but an overview of the course syllabus on their first day of classes. Usually, he would have done more eliciting a chorus of complaints from his students. Today he was apart from himself and welcomed the easiness of simply stating what was expected for the semester.
When his last class had ended, he headed to his office. He shut the door behind him and went over to sit in his chair allowing his head to lean back for a moment. This could not happen again. Perhaps he should invest in earplugs for when he slept.
There was a lingering headache from this morning that still pounded incessantly at his temple. He pinched the bridge of his nose and gave an annoyed huff before he straightened in his chair. Determined to get something useful done today he turned on his computer and opened his e-mail.
It had been his intent to check on the status of the documents that were being sent to him and to see if Tethras had responded to his previous inquiry on the latest article publication he had sent out. This was dashed the moment a ding sounded, and a new e-mail showed up in his inbox. All other plans were forgotten as his attention focused on the message that had just arrived.
His heart beat an unsteady rhythm against his rib cage as he double clicked on her name.
Recipient: Fen’harel
Subject: Thank you
Thank you for your help and for the compliment. Don’t be too eager to be rid of me, hahren. I’m sure I still will need your help with things like this on occasion. As for having something to tell you, I’ve got a new job and have moved to a place called Haven. But you knew this didn’t you? Or you wouldn’t have asked.
You continue to know so much about me when I know so little about you. You could tell me who you are you know. I’m very good at keeping secrets.
Are you angry with me, hahren? It is unlike you to so blatantly pry into my personal life. Usually you make a point of avoiding it.
But, for your information, I was waiting till I got settled more and I would have told you. I don’t even have internet at my place yet. Of course, if you gave me a cell number I could have just texted or called.
Emmy
In an ideal world, he could tell her the whole truth. In an ideal world, he would never have had to leave her, to begin with. This was not an ideal world, however, and he would do what he needed to in order to help her and keep her safe. Even if it meant hiding the fact that Fen’harel and Solas were one in the same from her. Though it always brought a bitter taste to his mouth when he thought of it.
He clicked on the compose message button, but before he even started typing a response, he paused. The e-mail had just come in which meant she was likely at a computer still. He could send her a chat. It would be impulsive, reckless, and he should not. Whenever he had in the past it was always too easy, too tempting, to take it places he could not. He should just e-mail her.
He opened the chat service and put in her name.
Fen’harel: I am not angry. Simply curious. As for how I know, I have my fair share of eyes and ears.
There were a few moments where nothing happened. The clock on the wall in front of him ticking the seconds by as his eyes remained glued to the screen. He fidgeted then sighed. This was good. She must have left already. He should have just e-mailed her in the---
Then it popped up on the bottom, “Emmy is typing…” He leaned forward as his stomach fluttered.
Emmy: You started a chat with me! :D I should mark the occasion on my calendar.
Emmy: Also, is that your way of saying you’re having me watched? Do you have a trail on me or something? D: Creepy, wolfie!
A chuckle escaped his lips, and his hand went up to cover his mouth. He started to type a response but it came out teasing, flirtatious, and he quickly deleted it. Now was the time to tread carefully. He started typing a new response that had a more serious tone despite the soft smile he knew resided on his lips.
Fen’harel: Do not make me regret it already, da’len. And no. I am not having you followed; it was pure coincidence that I happened to find out about your change of location. I did not know what it was for, only that you had moved. What is this new job of yours?
Emmy: Oh it’s amazing. You’d adore it, but I’m not going to tell you.
He frowned then and quickly typed in his response.
Fen’harel: Why?
Emmy: It isn’t fair that you know so much about me, but I know nothing about you. Not even your real name or what you look like. I don’t even know your gender. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He gave a little grunt of annoyance as his eyebrows rose just a touch.
Fen’harel: I should have thought the last would have been obvious.
Emmy: Why would it be obvious? It may be common for parents to name their kids after elven gods, but Fen’harel isn’t one you hear often. Plus, with how secretive you are I highly doubt you’d publish under your real name. Or perhaps you presumed I’d know based on context of past conversations?
Emmy: You don’t have to be a male to want to get into bed with me.
Emmy: Just because you can be flirty sometimes, almost had online sex with me the one time, and you chose a male pen name doesn’t automatically mean you’re male.
His throat felt thick as he read the lines she had sent. This was going off track. He needed to redirect and fast. He started to type a long, impersonal response about how his gender was hardly an important topic. How he did not want to get into bed with her, a lie. He desperately wanted in bed with her. In bed. Against the wall. In a bath. On the floor. Anywhere. Everywhere.
He gave a growl of frustration and deleted the whole thing he had typed. His fingers came up to pinch the bridge of his nose as it wrinkled beneath his fingertips. Then a ding sounded, and he removed his hand to read what she wrote.
Emmy: I’m sorry, I was just teasing. I know you’re not actually interested in me at like that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.
She thought he did not want her. Good, that was good he should let her think that. When he typed, it was not what he had planned it to be. It was the opposite. Two simple sentences.
I want you. I want you so badly I burn with it.
Immediately he deleted it with a grimace and slight shake of his head. Then he started to type once again. Started to type the lie telling her she was correct in her assumption, but he could not get past the first word of it before he deleted it. Tried again. Failed again.
He fidgeted and stood feeling like his skin was too tight on his body. With almost jerky movement he walked from his computer to look out his window his fingers clenching and unclenching. He rolled his neck, then with an impatient huff, turned back to sit swiftly at his computer and typed a response, hitting send before he could think better of it.
Fen’harel: You presume much today, lethallan.
He realized what he had typed and winced. That had been a mistake, but it was too late to take it back. All he could do was make it clear that, even if he wanted her, they did not have a future.
Fen’harel: Wanting something and being able to act on such desires are two separate things. You should not care for me. You do not even know who I truly am, as you stated yourself.
There was a pause and then the typing icon came up at the bottom of his screen. He waited, time measured by the pulsing of his heart against his throat.
Emmy: I don’t know what you look like. Looks are not nearly as important as the rest. All you’ve done for me. All we’ve shared even though it is just in e-mails. I feel more myself with you than anyone around me in person. When I imagine you being with me I can’t picture you but I feel you.
He reread her words over and over. The last three words making him feel light headed as they repeated in his mind. Heat flooded his body, and he found it was difficult to take in a full breath. Then his fingers were typing, though he swore he had no control over them.
Fen’harel: You imagine such things, how I feel?
Just as he hit send, he realized the foolishness of what he had written. The impossibility of where it would lead, where he could not afford to go. His breath hitched, and he typed quickly to try to repair his mistake.
Fen’harel: Stop.
Fen’harel: I can not continue this, Emmy. We should not.
Emmy: You don’t imagine things like that? How I’d taste against your lips.
Emmy: What my skin would feel like against yours. The sounds I’d make. How we’d be mad with lust for each other.
Emmy: I’m guessing the first time would be rough and hungry. Then again a while later, slow and sensual.
Every damn day.
There had not been a day since he had left her that he had not thought of her. That he had not thought what it would be like to take her again. That he had not though how he wanted to devour her whole.
He felt himself growing hard beneath his desk at her words. The fact that she thought about this also. The memory of her voice this morning and---
“Solas. I just knew I would find you here.”
He jerked hard enough that his hips slammed into his desk along with another now prominent member of his body. The string of curses that came from his mouth would have made the most experienced prostitute blush.
Dorian’s eyes were wide from the door, “I had no idea you had such colorful vocabulary. You are always so…” He eyed Solas’ outfit, “nondescript.”
Solas quickly clicked to minimize his internet as he scowled at Dorian. “Did you require something or did you simply wish to hear yourself talk?”
He gave a mock expression of horror, “Solas, have I offended you?”
“If you have, why would it concern you?”
“Because we’re here working together for a common cause, to attempt to lower the amount of idiocy in this world,” Dorian had walked into his office and was now absent-mindedly pulling out books from his shelves before replacing them, “and because I respect your teaching abilities.”
Solas lips thinned and he inhaled audibly through his nose, “What favor do you want of me, Dorian?”
Dorian put the last book back on the shelf with a force that made Solas scowl. Then he turned to face Solas with his hands up and said, “Can’t a colleague just come to chat with another colleague?” He lowered his hands and walked to Solas’ side glancing at the computer screen before continuing, “Bond over the first day and what the mass of students seems to offer so far.”
“No.”
Dorian gave an exaggerated sigh, “We seem to have a mutual friend, so I was offering an olive branch.” He leaned against the bookshelf closest to Solas and crossed his arms as he asked, “How do you know our lovely Emmy?”
“Ah.” Solas shook his head and stood from his desk. By now his arousal was no longer an issue so he could stand without worry as he replied, “Not that it is any of your concern, but she was a student of mine in the past.”
“There seemed to be more to it.” Dorian wiggled his eyebrows, “A torrid love affair perhaps? Now that would be a true surprise.”
He felt the pulse in his jaw twitch and took another deep breath, “I have work to do. If you have nothing relevant, then I must ask that you leave.” He went over to the door and held it open wider, “Was there anything else?”
Dorian gave another exaggerated sigh before he stood, “No but you really should get out more, come join us for drinks sometime, staying holed up in your office all day does no favors for your complexion.” As he passed Solas to go out the door his eyes took in his outfit again, “I could take you shopping sometime.”
“I will keep the offer in mind, but for now, as thrilling as letting you use me as a dress-up doll sounds, I have matters to attend to.”
The moment Dorian had stepped out of the threshold Solas started to close the door. As he did Dorian leaned over and said, “Good-bye for now. Call me for a shopping date.”
He shut the door and clicked the lock on it as his teeth clenched. Then a ding sounded from his computer, and his attention was immediately redirected.
It took some willpower to force himself to walk at a normal pace back to his desk. He set in his chair and brought back up the chat. His heart fluttering. When he read her words heat filled his face.
Emmy: Have you fled from me or are your hands too busy doing other things to type ;). Maybe I should make my hands busy too. Certainly in the mood for it now.
Though her words started to stir the flames in him again, Dorian had been good for something. He had brought Solas back to the reality around him.
Fen’harel: I am at work. Please desist this.
Emmy: I’m at work too ;)
Emmy: Wait, does that mean if you weren’t at work you’d play along?
Impossible. She was utterly impossible, and he needed to stop this.
Fen’harel: That is enough of this game of yours. If you do not wish to tell me of your new situation, then I will not force the matter. I must go.
Emmy: An archivist
A weight fell in his chest as his thoughts scrambled over her words. An archivist. The university had recently hired a new head archivist, but he had not paid it much mind at the time. He was in the archives enough he knew he would meet them before long and would assess then.
It could not be; she could not be. He started a question, deleted, started again, deleted. His fingers went up to rub his eyelids before he took a small intake of breath and typed simply;
Fen’harel: An archivist, where?
Emmy: I would’ve thought you’d know that, all seeing one.
His head throbbed.
Fen’harel: Amuse me.
Emmy: Why? You didn’t want to play with me when it was my game.
Emmy: It’s my first day, stop distracting me. I’ll send you an e-mail when I get my home internet set-up.
Emmy: Good-bye wolfie. :*
Even as the truth was facing him squarely, he could not bring himself to accept it. He pushed back his chair and started to leave. Then stopped himself. He started to pace his office with his hands clasped firmly behind his back.
He needed to know for sure. If it was true, he needed undeniable proof. He could storm over there now. There were plenty of reasons for him to be there. When he got there, he could casually question Merrill about the status of the new head archivist.
What if she was there? What if he unintentionally ran into her? Given all that had happened today he did not think he would be able to handle that well. He did not think he could keep his composure as well as he must. Not after everything. Not after her words. The sounds she had made this morning and what he had done in response.
No. He would not risk it. He would wait till tonight when she would have left the office. Then he would go and investigate. He had been given access to the archives and their offices so he would be able to let himself in and out without anyone knowing.
A plan firmly in place he went to sit at his desk one more and attempted to focus his mind on finishing up the final touches of his lesson plans.
This is a smut chapter, happy Solas smut Saturday. Opening with Emmy Lavellan having a wet dream, in more ways than one XD.
The bath water was hot over Emmy’s skin. The air full of steam smelling of lavender and vanilla. She picked up a handful of bubbles bringing them up to her face to form a beard. The suds tickling her skin. She quickly covered a sneeze when one tried to go up her nose.
Solas chuckled, “I do not believe they are meant to be inhaled.”
She reached up to wipe the remaining suds off her face, “You don’t say.” She then swept that same hand over the surface of the water. The motion sending bubbles towards him. The water rising and falling in gentle waves over his perfect torso. Only the area just a little above his nipples could be seen out of the water but it was enough to prove a distraction.
He was leaning back in the tub across from her. One leg on each side of her body so she could feel him against her under the water. The arm that held his novel was now hanging over the edge of the bath, book dangling from his fingers.
If he was done reading she could suggest other things he could be doing with his hand.
He watched her, his expression soft, “What is going through that mind of yours?”
“Lots of things. Almost all of them horrifically lewd.”
“Ah,” She felt his leg caress along hers as he leaned forward in the tub. The book tossed to the side as both hands went into the water. “Things like this?”
One hand traced a path up her thigh and she felt herself shiver. He smirked, “Perhaps like this?”
The fingers of his other hand found her. He barely brushed over the top of her clit. She must have been strung tight because even that elicited a moan from her. His hands reached for her, flipping her around and pulling her against him so her back was pressed to his chest.
His lips found the curve of her neck. He nibbled and sucked kissing a line to her ear. “Am I assuming correctly?”
She managed a breathy yes before his hands found her once more. One went between her legs, his fingers teasing her clit. The other found one of her breasts. He massaged her only stopping to tease her nipple between two fingers.
The combination of the hot water and her rising body heat made little beads of sweat start to form on her forehead. Not that she cared at that point. She rocked her hips for him loving the feel of his hardness against her back and his hands on her skin.
He slipped his fingers inside of her and she moaned his name, “There. Solas… I…” Words were lost as he slipped deeper into her playing her easily. He knew all the places to caress to make her lose herself.
She would come soon. She could feel the inevitable near but she wanted him in her for it. The feel of him buried deep inside her, of being one with him, she needed that. Somehow she managed to get out the words, “Solas. In me, now. I need you to–”
His thumb flicked against her clit and the words were lost to a loud cry of pleasure. Less than a beat later he had her bent over the edge of the tub, remnants of bubbles caressing her as they slid along her skin. All sensations from the bubbles were forgotten when she felt his tip teasing her entrance.
She tried to push herself back onto him but he held her firm as he spoke, “I will give you what we both desire if you say it.”
She groaned, “What? Anything…”
“Tell me the truth. Tell me how you feel about me. Tell me what you always wanted to but never did.”
This was too much, she didn’t want to go there. Not now. She started to straighten but he pushed himself just a quarter inch into her. Just enough to remind her of what she could be having if she just said it.
“I love you.”
He pushed just a hint further. “Louder.”
She moaned then forced the words out in a shout. “I love you, Solas. I’ve always—”
He thrusted into her, pushing his entire length in with one quick movement. She let out a cry and at the same instance heard an odd high pitched beeping. It was just enough of a jarring sound to bring her confusion even through her lust.
He pulled out almost all the way before thrusting into her again. The beeping sound accompanying his entrance into her. Then another thrust, another beep. Again and again. Beeping in time with his movements until he bent forward and whispered in her ear, “I believe it is time for you to wake up.”
The next thing she knew, her eyes were open and looking up at the ceiling of her new bedroom. She let out a growl of frustration and slammed her hand down on her stupid alarm clock. She wasn’t sure what pissed her off more. That it had been a wet dream with Solas, something she hadn’t been tormented by in a long time, or that she had been so close to release. So close. She was wet and her lower body still throbbed from desire.
This had to be taken care of. She was far enough along it should only take a moment. She moved onto her stomach so she could muffle any sounds with her pillow. Then one hand found her breast while the other worked her sensitive sex. Despite herself she thought of Solas. His fingers. His voice. His body. Him being only a wall away.
It wasn’t long before she hit her climax. The cry she let out made her glad for the pillow in case Solas was still in his place. When she was done her whole body felt relaxed. At least until she turned her head and her eyes finally registered the time.
“Shit!”
She shot up out of bed with such speed she almost tripped herself on her sheets. Since she had opted to unpack her books, much of her clothing was still not out. This resulted in her ripping open boxes and throwing clothing about the room till she found something that would work. With quick fingers she braided her hair and tucked it into a bun at the back of her head.
Then she tossed some food into a bowl for Darcy. The cat was looking at her from one of the windows. Judging. Always with the judging.
She grabbed her purse and opened the door shouting back at the cat, “Get a damn job, then you can judge.”
She shut the door and locked it before jogging down the hallway to the stairs. In her rush she missed a step at the second floor and let out a series of curses as she fell on her ass. It would leave a mark, but at least she hadn’t sprained an ankle or something. She stood and hurried on to her car.
In the end, she did manage to make it five minutes early. Every speed limit was broken to do it, but she did it. It was lucky the campus library was such a focal point for the campus. She hadn’t had the foresight to look at a campus map beforehand. A fact that could have easily bit her in the bum.
The library was truly impressive. It was modern looking in it’s large windows but still held a timeless feel to it with it’s large steps and massive doors. The building appeared to back up to a forest. She imagined, or hoped, there were more windows in back for that view.
As she walked up the steps her stomach did little flips. She focused on air in the nose and out the mouth. This was nothing. She could totally do this. It was a job made for her. It would all be good.
The moment she open the large doors there was another Dalish in front of her. This woman had short dark hair, huge beautiful green eyes, a falon’din vallaslin, and a huge smile. She seemed to bounce constantly on the balls of her feet. If this was more from excitement or nerves, Emmy couldn’t tell.
“You must be Emmy. I mean, of course you are, you’re face was all over. That was a silly question.” She gave an awkward laugh which was immediately quieted, “Not that I’ll fangirl you or you know, I mean I’m a huge fan. Not that it’s—”
Emmy laughed, “I don’t think I got your name.”
“Oh right, my name is Merrill. I’m the assistant to the head of the apartment, you now, Inquisi— I mean Miss Lavellan.”
“Pleasure to meet you Merrill and Emmy is fine.” She gave a genuine smile. Although she never liked being noticed for her time as the Inquisitor, Merrill’s eager joy was infectious. She took an instant liking to her.
Merrill proceeded to show her around the library with such enthusiasm you would have thought it was her first time seeing it all. Not that Emmy could blame her. The place was magnificent. It had beautiful interior architecture designed for serious study in some places. Other places were cozy little nooks with chairs that you could completely sink into.
She had also been right about windows in the back. There were huge ones that overlooked the expanse of pines behind them. The area was truly beautiful. She imagined when it started to get cold and snow they’d be even more so.
Nothing could compare to what Merrill saved for last. The rare book and manuscript section. It was the largest one she had ever seen. The room seemed to be almost five stories high. There were no windows of course, for preservation purposes, instead there were large marbled tiles with soft light behind them covering every inch of wall. And the books. So many books.
“How many?”
Merrill’s smile grew even more, “Last count? 180,000ish in this room. There are more down in the underground stacks. Around 600,000 I think. We get people from all over coming to use it.”
“That’s…” Words failed her. This was even better than she could have dreamed.
“I know!” She was bouncing again, “We do get the occasional artifact but mostly we work with these old books and documents. When we do get an artifact it’s usually sent to be housed elsewhere once it’s been cataloged and repaired, if needed. We got an eluvian! It’s complicated to fix, but I admit I’ve been trying to linger a bit to keep it longer.” She blinked, “Oh, probably shouldn’t have told my new boss that…”
“Wait.” Her attention went from the books to Merrill, “You have an eluvian? A genuine eluvian?”
“Yes!”
“But no one has seen one of those in–”
“I know!”
Emmy was pretty sure she was bouncing too now, “How? Where?”
“A Dalish clan came across it.” Merrill’s bouncing stopped and she frowned, “They sold it. I understand some clans have it bad but…” She shook her head and smiled, “What matters is that Professor Evans was lucky enough to find out about it and purchased it.”
A slight stab to her joy and she couldn’t help mumbling, “I doubt luck had much to do with it.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” She tried to smile again, though she couldn’t help the irritation pulsing through her at his name, “I take it when we’re done he’s going to be keeping it?”
“Yes.” She furrowed her brow, “Well, in a way, he hasn’t really been too forthright other than to say it is going somewhere safe where it will be preserved and cared for.”
Being forthright wasn’t exactly Solas’ thing.
Something must have shown on her face because Merrill asked, “Do you know the professor?”
“A bit.” He’s been inside me a few times. We’ve had our private bits in each others mouths. That sort of thing. “He taught both Mythology and Elvhen history classes to me when I was in college. I didn’t know him all that well.”
The last part was not a lie. In the end she hadn’t known him well at all. The man she’d thought she knew would have never just up and left like that. The man she’d thought she knew wouldn’t have disappeared without a trace. Even if he had, he certainly wouldn’t have stayed away still when she needed him most. Conclusion, everything he had presented to her had been a rouse. The man he wanted her to see. A lie.
“You’ll get to know him better now.”
Emmy blinked, “What?”
Merrill smiled completely unaware of the impact of her statement, “He’s here all the time. Likes to keep up on new things we get in and research through the materials we have. Nice man. Very knowledgeable. I would have liked to have him as a professor. When he teaches it isn’t like teaching, it’s like being told a wonderful story. He also loves when you ask questions, not like some of the other professors that come in here. Like Professor de Fer hates being disturbed. Trust me I learned that one the hard way.”
“Oh, wonderful.” She cleared her throat. This was not the time for her to contemplate the implications that the big campus and big building were not so big after all. If she was more paranoid, she’d be convinced he was doing this shit on purpose.
“Are you alright? You look a little—”
Emmy shook the thoughts from her head, “Fine. I’m good. May I see the eluvian?”
She’d never truly been able to describe someone’s eyes as twinkling, but she swore Merrill’s did just then, “Yes! It’s really incredible. I mean I knew it would be…” Emmy followed her through the library to the eluvian as Merrill rambled on excitedly.
Solas would not ruin this. This was the opportunity of a lifetime. She was working in the most extensive rare book and manuscript collection in Thedas. No way she would let some idiotic lingering emotions get in the way of that. All she had been through, she would certainly not lose to something like that.
Chapter 1 in the Solas POV snippets to accompany my fic; My Neighbor, Fen’Harel. This is meant to accompany chapters 2 and 3 of the main story. If you'd prefer to read this on AO3 here is the link
These will not be a regular update thing like the main story but if you read the main one and ever have a request for a POV from him don’t be shy about asking :).
It only took Solas a moment to find what he came for. The little cakes were a treat he indulged in more than he should if he were honest. Yet, when he had started making his dinner the thought of having them after was too tempting to ignore. He had placed the salmon in the oven before slipping on his shoes and going to the store. He was close enough it would still have some cooking time left when he got back, he need not worry it would overcook or burn while he was away.
Just as he was exiting the aisle with his prize, someone collided with him. In the same instance his nostrils filled with a mix of lavender, vanilla, and a purely unique scent he had not had the pleasure of in a very long time. The closest thing he had ever been able to equate it to was a mix of newly opened books and pure female. That combination. It was not possible to have that here.
His eyes looked down and widened a hint at the site in front of him as the woman bent to collect her things. It must be his mind playing tricks. Even after all this time he---
The woman spoke, still not looking at him, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. I really can be such a clutz sometimes. Totally my fault. Uhm…”
It was her voice. Rich and melodic, the slightest accent from her origins still hanging onto certain words. Solas' heart thundered in his chest, and he found he could not remember how to breathe properly. It was impossible. She was in Orlais still. That she would be here of all places…
Then she was looking up at him frozen. His box of cakes held part way up to him. He watched the flitting of emotions play across her face as clear as if she were speaking them. Recognition, disbelief, shock, pain, and finally rage. The rage settling there, flaming behind her eyes as she stood.
“What are you doing here?”
It was automatic. The hard schooling of his expression to show no emotion. Centuries of this being his way of hiding his intent made the mask slide on with ease. It had always annoyed her when they had been together; now it fanned the rage already bubbling inside her.
Emmy jabbed his box of cakes at him to emphasise her words, “I asked what you were doing here.”
It was more effort than he would care to admit to keep his tone even, “Shopping. It is near where I am currently residing.” As she went to jab the box at him once more, his hand came up to grab the end of it, “May I have my cakes back?”
Surprisingly, she relinquished them to him. He had half expected them thrown at his face. Something he was glad to be wrong on, not that he would not deserve such a thing.
Her eyes narrowed at him, “What do you mean ‘currently residing’?”
He had forgotten. Though not a day had gone by where he had not thought of her, he had forgotten just how stunning she was in person. Memories, tv, and pictures could do little justice to someone like her. She was magnificent, and those things only caught a small portion of it.
It was hugely distracting being so near her again. Solas searched for something to say, to put himself back on track. “I am unsure how to clarify that statement more.”
His eyes settled on the cups she was currently keeping a steadily hardening grip on, most likely thinking of doing that to his throat instead. “You are breaking the cups.”
It clearly took her a good amount of physical effort to release the cups. As his eyes went back to hers, she glared at him with such hatred it made his breath catch.
She growled out, “Good day.” Then spun from him going to the register.
With her attention no longer on him, he took a deep shuddering breath. The fingers of one hand went up to pinch the brow of his nose. He heard her make a comment about a hitman and he pinched harder. Then he took one more deep breath before straightening his shoulders and going to stand behind her.
She avoided looking at him as she paid for her stuff and walked out the door. He could see the rigidness of her body as she forced herself to keep a slow pace.
As he paid for the cakes, his mind remained on her. She must be visiting someone. There was no conceivable way she lived here. The chances were far too small that she could be living here. True, the Inquisition had been disbanded for several months, but he would have known if she was no longer with them in Orlais. She would have told him or rather, the man she did not realize was him.
The cashier handed him the cakes. When he walked out the door, his confusion increased as he found himself following her. Then she turned into his apartment building, and his footsteps halted in shock for a moment. Surely not.
Another deep shuddering breath and he forced his feet forward again. The moment he walked in the door, she turned to him from the stairs entrance. He swore he saw a pulse in her forehead twitch before she ground out, “Alright, that’s---”
Jim interrupted her. Solas and Jim did their usual dance of him asking Jim to call him by his first name instead of Dr. Evans. Jim refusing, as always.
Then both men looked to Emmy. She looked pale, her face drawn and shoulders slumped. The way she looked made Solas’ heart clench and he had to force a swallow in his tightening throat.
“Are you alright, Miss Lavellan?”
Her voice came out barely a squeak, “Fine.” Then she straightened her shoulders some and continued in a stronger voice, “He lives here?”
Jim looked from one to the other, brows furrowed with confusion, “Yes…”
Solas was growing tired of this. To see her, the way her face fell once again at the confirmation, it was killing him a little inside. He felt himself cracking. It was important that he get to his own place where he could think. Be alone.
When he stepped into the elevator, he hesitated. The desire to be near her just a little while longer warred with the pain of what they had been and what they were now. He shifted, his politeness and desire winning out as he moved a hand to hold the door, “Are you coming?”
Her pain was still there, but the rage was back now with it, “I’m taking the stairs.”
He could not help but wince at the force of the door to the stairs slamming behind her. Jim stood staring at the door, his mouth slightly open, still confused. Solas could not blame him. Without context, the whole exchange must be strange.
The moment he removed his hand from the doors they slid shut, and he pressed the button for the fourth floor. He let his head fall back and shut his eyes. Something wet streamed down one cheek. He reached up his fingers brushing along his face.
Then he straightened and looked at the tips of his fingers, a slight frown on his lips. It had been a long time since he had shed tears. Not since he had left her. The sensation was an odd one. The fact that she still had this strong of an effect on him still was unnerving but not surprising.
The elevator beeped. The doors slid open with a quiet hiss to reveal the familiar cream walls and dark bamboo flooring. The building was more modern than he would have usually preferred but he had warmed to the wood flooring, as well as the apartment itself.
He had one of the largest ones set at the end of the hall. The living space had large windows on each side with a balcony that wrapped around and gave him enough room for a small garden. The kitchen had been a good size for an apartment, and it had included an office in addition to the bedroom. All selling points for him. No other apartment in this town had suited his needs.
Now as he slipped his key into place he heard her voice down the hall, “Fuck me.”
He almost dropped the keys as he turned his head to look at her. Those words had been spoken to him before from her mouth, but when they had her eyes had been dark with lust, the full lips swollen and rouged from his attentions to them. The memories made his hands shake.
It had been many centuries since he had to work this hard to keep his face unreadable. It grew harder to control as she continued to walk closer to him. When she stopped at the door directly next to him, he could feel it slip for a beat before he forced it back.
He managed to get out, “You--”
The door she was in front of opened, “Good.” Professor Pavus’ voice. He would recognize it anywhere. The professor stepped out so Solas could see that it was, indeed, him, “You finally decided to grace us with your presence again. Turns out Cassandra does not do hungry well.”
The relief was so immense a gurgle of laughter threatened to bubble from his throat. He had worried for nothing. Having her right next to him like that would have been far too cruel of a joke on both of them, even for a world such as this one.
He spoke trying to hide the relief from his voice, “Professor Pavus, I see. This is your residence.”
Professor Pavus’ eyes went to him; eyebrows raised high, and the relief was chased away just as quickly as it had come. His body going numb even as Professor Pavus confirmed his fears, “Me? Live here? Are you mad? No offense meant of course.”
Emmy’s tone was flat as she attempted to shove Professor Pavus into the apartment, “Of course.”
Professor Pavus stood steady, “You two know each other?”
He watched as Emmy’s brows knitted together, even more, a little furrow of irritation making itself known at the bridge of her nose, “Years ago.” Her hands went up, and she shoved Pavus hard enough to get him inside before saying, “Hardly anything worthy of note.” Then the door slammed behind her.
Forcing steady breathes he turned to his own door. He opened it then shut it behind him, letting the pack of cakes drop to the floor. He pressed his palms flat against the wood, leaning forward with his head hanging down. Tears were burning the corners of his eyes once more. Why had those last words stung so severely?
He allowed himself a few moments to let it out before he slipped off his shoes and light coat. Then he bent over and picked up the cakes before walking to his kitchen. He placed the sweets in a cabinet then reached over to take a bottle of wine from his hanging wine rack along with an empty glass. It was a lovely red he had gotten on his last trip to Orlais.
He did not care much for Orlais, but he had to concede they did some things right. Wine and frilly cakes. Otherwise, the whole country was a waste of space.
He opened the oven to check his salmon. The timer still had several minutes left, so he closed the door again and took a sip of his wine. Wine glass in hand he walked through the living space and into his office. The space was comforting with its shelves of books and papers scattered about.
To an outsider, his desk would look a cluttered mess. Random papers laid out around his laptop, an open book to one side, a planner, and various pens. There was even an inkwell and quill that he used on occasions he was feeling nostalgic for times past.
Tonight, he felt nostalgia but not of that kind. It was nostalgia that had a very specific focus to it. The woman who now lived directly next door to him.
He set his wine down on the desk before opening his laptop and going to his e-mail.
His thoughts wandered to the problem at hand. There was little regarding solutions. Moving was not an option. There was too much here that he needed to stay for. The eluvian for one. Then there were the archives and all the material within. It was by far the most efficient place for him to continue with the work he must do and there was still much to be done.
He would move if he could. For her sake even more than his. However, no amount of wishing it could be so would change the fact that it was not possible. He would just have to continue. Whatever had brought her here it might take her away from here just as suddenly.
That thought firm in his mind he opened a new e-mail and typed in her name. She was in his contacts, so he no longer needed to type out the e-mail address. Just her name. Something that he recalled had felt violating and intimate somehow when they had first started this.
Recipient: Emmy
Subject: As Requested
Attached are the corrected translations of the document you asked me to look at. I am impressed. There were only a few errors. Your ancient Tevene has improved greatly and rapidly. There were only a few minor adjustments. I believe you will no longer need my help on such things.
Dar’eth,
Fen’harel
He clicked on the small digital paperclip and attached the files to the email. Then he moved the cursor over the send button and paused. His hand moved from the mouse to his wine glass. He swirled the liquid, leaning back in his chair, eyes remaining on the screen as the fingers of his other hand thrummed a steady rhythm on his desk.
There was a risk if he went through with what he was thinking of doing. Though it was minimal, it was there. Still, it would allow him to get a better idea of the situation he found himself in. After a beat more he took a breath of air before he straightened in his chair. He took a sip of his wine before setting it down. His fingers went to the keyboard, and he added one last line to the end of the e-mail.
P.S. Is there something you need to tell me da’len?
Then, before he could think better of it, he hit the send button. At that very moment, the alarm went off in his kitchen to let him know the salmon was done. He stood with his wine and went in to have his dinner. Whatever happened now hopefully he would be able to regain some semblance of control over the situation.
I’d like to claim that @geeky-jez is partially at fault for this, but in truth the cruelty is all mine. (Here’s some super awkward Professor Solas for you, @andauril and @sgurrdearg)
Pairing: Solas /Lavellan
Rating: NSFW
Solas froze mid-thrust. “Please don't call me that.”
Alya looked up at him, concern dawning on her face as she noted his discomfort. “Why? Is it weird?”
“Yes, it's weird. I'm very well aware that I am your father's age, and when we're naked in bed isn't the best time to go reminding me of it.”
“Oh! Oh, Solas,” she cooed, cupping his cheek. “I'm so sorry. But, you know, if it helps, you really aren't. The Dalish marry quite young, so you're actually a few years older than my father, and I realized as those words were leaving my mouth that that's probably the absolute worst thing I could have said right now,” she finished with a wince.
“And there's the final torch on my erection's pyre,” Solas sighed, rolling off of her in defeat.
Alya snuggled next to him. “I'm sorry,” she said again, kissing his cheek. “...Would some cupcakes make you feel better?
Solas considered. “Possibly.”
“I'm on it,” Alya announced, hopping off the bed and wrapping a robe around herself. “Don't open the bedside drawers,” she called over her shoulder as Solas began to search for his discarded reading glasses.
“Why?”
“It's where I hide my stuffed animals when you come over.”
Solas withdrew his hand from the knob as though he'd been burnt.
I’ve been feeling icky this week, so I haven’t gotten any new writing done. But lo, here is the entirety of my Solas-based archive at your fingertips to tide you over! Reblogs of any that you particularly like would be greatly appreciated, of course.
Friend fluff
Insomnia
Imogen can’t sleep. She and Solas do some platonic bonding instead.
Solavellan
Red, Red Wine
In which Alya Lavellan discovers that she really, really likes wine, and Solas puts her safely to bed.
Tricks You’ve Never Seen (nsfw)
One of the ancient elven artifacts has lost power. There’s an ancient elven spell for that…
Areas of Study (nsfw)
Alya and Solas spend some quality time in the library.
The Fairest of Them All
In which Solas gets his first look at Alya’s gown for the ball at the Winter Palace.
Elven Glory (nsfw)
After a few glasses of wine, Alya and Solas sneak away to take a spin around the gardens of the Winter Palace. Direct sequel to The Fairest of Them All.
And Since There’s No Place To Go
The weather outside may be frightful, but Alya and Solas are quite comfortable in their nice, warm bed.
The Lady’s Portrait (nsfw)
Posing nude for her lover’s art proves more tedious than Alya had anticipated. She decides to liven it up. (Illustrated by cobaltash andmyself)
Brushstrokes (nsfw)
Alya gives Solas a new set of paintbrushes. His first use for them is somewhat unorthodox. (Complete with glorious illustration by cobaltash.)
The Merits of Footwear
Solas has injured himself. Alya dotes accordingly.
Baby Steps
With Solas two years gone, people have started making Alya feel that she’s required to be over him by now. Her best friend tells her not to let other people dictate her healing process. (In the most Sera way possible, of course.)
Old Wives’ Tales (not canon)
Or, “How Adjectivebear Really Hoped The Trespasser DLC Would End.” (Nowextremely AU and terribly bittersweet because of it, but still deliciously fluffy.)
Modern Thedas AU
Better On Paper
Solas’s friend, the best-selling author Varric Tethras, comes for a visit.
A Model Student
Solas encounters two of his favorite students on his first day back on the University of The Frostbacks campus after winter break. Hints of imminent Solavellan, naturally. (Illustration of Professor!Solas generously provided by andauril.)
Office Hours
Imogen camps out in Solas’s office between classes, and they come across a very surprising ad.
