#prohibiteditemslist

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

MEMO #580

All agents are reminded that fireworks which include loud bangs, shrieks, or crackles are banned on all SHIELD bases. Artillery-type fireworks are likewise on the Prohibited Items List.

Anyone needing to get away from the noise and sounds can  let their S.O. know; all SHIELD bases have break rooms and guest quarters isolated from outside noises and sights. All SHIELD bases on American soil will have a ceremonial bell-ringing over the PA system at 2 pm Eastern today instead of fireworks.

All American agents are reminded to leave their British colleagues drinks alone; this day is not about throwing FitzSimmons' tea off the Helicarrier and screaming "'Murica!'" Likewise all SHIELD agents regardless of nationality are reminded to abide by the United States of America's Flag Code, and refrain from wearing America's flag as a cape, sash, or any other article of clothing.

Cmdr Hill

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

MEMO #536

A reminder that all SHIELD agents are salaried and overtime exempt. You work however long a day you need to do to get everything done, and then you do it all over again the next day. Consultants are paid a set fee per incident. Non-agent Avengers are on individually-negotiated contracts. Agent Wade Wilson, please stop putting in overtime requests; that's not even our form. That's a form from Taco Bell. Doctor Stark, you waived your normal fee for various petty personal satisfactions and revenges; you don't get paid, so you are not going to earn overtime. Maria Hill Deputy Director

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

MEMO #454

All S.H.I.E.L.D employees are reminded that they may not requisition any weapon which can inflict lethal damage with just the windshear of the projectile.

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

MEMO #425

All S.H.I.E.L.D employees are reminded that we are not, on average, fighting demons. Therefore, no one should be using rock salt as ammunition. If someone's reasoning, when asked, it that they were 'feeling mean,' the punishment will be an assignment as Agent Wade Wilson's lackey for a week.

If the person in question is Agent Wilson, he gets assigned to be my assistant for a week. In the office. Wearing a tie. Pants are not optional, they are required.

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

Is weapons grade uranium on the prohibited items list?

As with other things of a radioactive nature, YES, IT IS.

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

MEMO #152

Guy Fawkes Day is not to be celebrated on this Helicarrier with either a full- or partial- scale attempt to replicate his crime.

Effigies and replicas of real people, alive or dead, are not permitted to be burned or built on or in this ship.

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

MEMO #142

As theHolidayseason is now upon us, a reminder to all S.H.I.E.L.D. employees that holiday or novelty ties may only be worn with suits, and not with the Helicarrier jumpsuits. In addition, such ties may only be worn within a two-week window around the appropriate holiday.

A note that “novelty”  ties do not include pornographic or risqué images, as those are in violation of the sexual harassment policies, and are on the Prohibited Items List.

[shieldhumanresourcesdept]

Yeah, Um. Deadpool didn't give Hulk the apple juice. That was me. Dressed up as Deadpool, Thought i should let you know. Also! Are you a Fan of Silly String Agent Hill?

My apologies to Agent Wilson. Again.

... I expected better from you, Clint. And silly string is on the Prohibited Items List, so that would be a resounding NO.

Agent Hill