#project 2030

[casuallyokaywithlife]

You don't have to believe the stories you where told about yourself.

[casuallyokaywithlife]

LET'S GOOOO!!!

First time EVER getting through an entire Chloe Ting Workout schedual!!

[casuallyokaywithlife]

Videos about weaponized incompetence reddit posts.

A Vent

[18. June 2026]

[Copy of a comment I posted]

I am watching these and try to imagine my Ex (?)(we are in a weird place) in those situations.

First off: You are telling me that there a (apparently) A LOT of people out there who see and do those things on their own who I could choose as partners? *.*

I do not know if I am too judgemental against him. He ealwqys did the shopping and the cooking. He does the cleaning if you tell him with not too much pressure and at the right time. He has to keep his household in a reasonable shape om his own rn, because I have moved out. We tried living together and it did just not work.

But when we did, there were a lot of fights about cleaning chores. I like my space clean and organized. He has a lot of decorations... well he decorates with big lego sets and DnD maps and figurines. Which is fine. But keeping a Lego panorama with lots of mini figurines dust free is a whole other level of frustrating (especially since the are out in the open). It had been agreed that it was his chore, but he never did it, at least not on his own, as it did not bother him.

That was the thing overall. I do like tidy clean spaces. My brain needs those to stay calm and focused. I want to whipe the table after eating. I do not want dust in the corners or in cabinets.

I want the sheets to be changed once a week (he tends to sweat in summer and has a lot of hair all over his body, which is no issue/pretty cool - but it means a lot of small hairs all over), I want the toilet cleaned once a week.

And the shower at least every two etc.

I tried to make a household chore list, sat down with him for 90 mins one day, figured it out, made plans who has which chore.

Three weeks later he told me how unfair it was that there is a list now and how stressfull it is.

I had had the idea for the list because before that he had told me, how stressfull it was, when he had planned to do something else and I told him there was some chore to be done.

His standard answer was: "Well, I am not bothered by those things. If you were not here, I would not do them/would not have to do them. So if they bother YOU, then YOU do them."

If I had agreed to that logic, it would have ment that I would habe done ALL the chores as it usually started to bother me two weeks before he noticed anything/anything bothered him and also for things that are not really bothersom, but need to be done (like e.g. chamging the toilet stone, hanging up fresh hand towels, changing out the kitchen sponge etc.) I would do them as soon as I had noticed them. Which again: Would habe ment that I did all of it.

To his credit: To this day, he got way better at cleaning up the kitchen after having guests over (putting away bowls, glasses, trash, whiping surfaces). So it didn't bother me first thing in the morning.

He never seems to notice other things tho. Like crumbs under the table etc.

He has/We have held a halloween party last year where there was a game about throwing sticky rubber spiders against a target hung up on the balcony door. Ofc. some of the spiders missed.

After the party (very late, a few weeks later tbh) I have noticed a spider "print" on the window. I think I told him about it like "Haha, that's still there" , but I did not clean the window. I would have. It is not a big task after all. But I wanted to see, how long it would take him to see it and clean it/when it would bother him to clean. It is the middle of June.

The spider print is still there.

I should not have to type all of this out, right? Because we do not live together anymore, so it is none of my buiseness. Thing is, I habe spent most of my weekends since moving out over at his place. And some things do bother me.

I can ignore the layer of dust in the corners of the toilet room, but I can't ignore crumbs in the kitchen. And I am bothered by hair in the shower. (Tho, if any men with lots of body hair are here, please educate me: I feel like it should be easy to take the time to rinse them away, but maybe they tend to get stuck in corners? I feel like I step on them, if taking a shower after him. I rinse it myself, no issue. But it is those small things of "I don't care" that really pile up, ya know?)

I got better at ignoring it. For some time, I REALLY did not like it, because I started to get sloppier myself, to a point where my mood was suffering in my flat without noticing it due to that. But I could bounce back easily.

I do not want to be GOOD at ignoring those things, because it is hurting me in my own space.

He is great at caring for me when I am.doing bad tho. I have had bouts of depression and he is kind and none judgemental about me sleeping all day and not being able to do much. He cooks.

He does those things.

But it seems like whenever I get better, we have fights. It sometimes feels like it is only consistently good when I am sick.

As I type this, I also realize: He had hardly ever helped me with getting better. Not in a mean way, but it was: "You gotta talk to someone" "You gotta find a psychiatrist to get meds". I had to educate him on all of my issues in the last half of the relationship up until now. He would not have searched help for himself.I had talked about him SO much to my therapist and had found a place for HIM that specializes in support groups for people whose loved ones suffer from MH issues. Sometimed he didn't believe me about some of my symptoms, if they were too bothersome or he was in a bad mood. (Like suddenly beimg unable too move ehen walking home and being stressed and tired. Like a freeze response.)

I am just so confused. I can see that his meanness comes from him being overwhelmed I got an explaination for all of that. And I am so so worried about being unfair towards him, judging him unfairly when I can see that he really tried.

But why does it work better when I am sicker? Or why do I feel like it does?

Maybe because then, I bother him less? I am less critical? Do not want to do as many things? Maybe he DOES build up resentment, but can control himself as long as he sees that I am doing bad - not wanting to push a person who is already down?

I would never directly tell him that, but I have lost a lot of opportunities because of the relationship and the strain and effort it put on me/took. Dropped out of two university/college minors. I had decided to put the effort into the relationship and did not have any mentsl capacity for those left. I had thought if I had just been good enough I could handle both, but I clearly couldn't.

Why did we ever move in together, you ask? I should have known, right?

And I did.

But he told me: "If we do not move in together at some point that we do not need to keep the relstionship going." And so I had tried. Even though deep inside I already missed my safe flat.

Luckily I had never terminated my lease. And I could go right back there :).

Fun thing: He always realizes issues about half a yeaf after me. After some time he also realized that living together does not work and cause issues. Why he had to drag me through it in order to believe me, I do not know. I had told him. And he did not believe me. Arguing, that it would work. Then arguing that we figure it out. Them arguing that I am just worrying about nothing. At some point arguing in the direction - though I do not know if he ever said that directly - that if only I was different and less pernickity it would have worked. (I know how I am. Not saying I am right and he is wrong - but I knew how he was and how I am before moving in.) He believed it would sort itself out, I would "calm down" or start to adjust if we just moved in together.

I do not know weather or not I am judging him to harshly. I do not think that there is an objective truth to be found - I mean there is, but there can't be an objective judgement.

I sometimes truly think he should get a cat instead of a girlfriend.

[marknspark]

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