#proma's spawn

[professor-maka]

In only my spawn news, the little lost a tooth in the middle of the night last night and just put it under his pillow and passed back out. We had to concoct some complete ridiculousness about how it was too early in the morning for the tooth fairy cause yo kid, the fairy can't come if you put the damn thing in stealth mode--mom and dad actually need to know you lost it.

[professor-maka]

If you liked Human Centipede, then you'll LOVE Robot Centipede.

[professor-maka]

Nothing like being forced to drag the spawn to the doctor because he's missed too many days for actually being sick, because he has a stomach bug you would normally just have him rest for, only to have him puke in the waiting room and shit himself on the way out. Banner day this is turning out to be.

[professor-maka]

Had my SoMa playlist on earlier. Result? My five year old is now singing his own version of Woman, Woman.

[professor-maka]

Do most kids want sushi rolls when they're sick or is mine just weird?

[professor-maka]

Who has three Valentines?

That's right--this girl.

[professor-maka]

Shit my kids say

C: Sawyer come get under covers with me next to Mommy's sweet booty!

[professor-maka]

Adventures in Parenting

On this episode, meltdowns abound!

It all started with a missing glove this morning before speech.Soy lost his shit, even though I had a different pair for him--no it must be this pair. So as meltdown occurs because he will not enter vehicle without the vanished appendage cover, he insists it's down in the field under a chair--through the snow. So I trudge through the snow in my Mary Janes soaking my socks, but no glove. Awesome.

At this point melt down is reaching critical mass and I'm pretty worried calling into speech is immanent, which means we will lose our standing appointment. Great.

Suddenly father in law strolls over--oh he's looking for a blue glove? I picked it up yesterday, I'll go get it.

Crises averted!

But we aren't done yet...

We go to speech. Park. Small tantrum occurs because he thinks we are too close to the car by his door (we aren't), then he's clingy and not wanting to go in when the therapist comes to get us, then he doesn't want to do anything once he's there, but he finally settles and has a good session. Good, great, this is why we pry our asses up early every Tuesday.

Now comes crises the second.

As Soy was raging when we headed out the door, I forgot my purse. Normally on speech days, I grab him a muffin on the way to school since getting him to eat before speech is impossible. We cannot grab a muffin with no money. Cue meltdown number two. We don't have time to go home and get my purse and go back out for a muffin before school, so I need him to eat breakfast at school, but NOPE. HE WANTS A MUFFIN.

What do?

I scrounge my car. I always have change, but the cupboard is looking bare and I'm pretty much done with the screaming. But then I tear apart the center consul and -- boom -- miracle! There is a baggy from our trip to Florida in the summer with not only a Dunkin gift card but several dollars in potential toll money. SAVED BY NEVER CLEANING OUT MY CAR GO ME!

So kid is happy, breakfast is retrieved, and now he's safely ensconced at school.

That, folks, was my morning. I skipped the earliest part where my eldest was freaking out over the color of his clothes. There's only so much ridiculous I can relay on any given day.