hey so here i am again letting the littlest things get to me late at night haha wow why god
so i just realized that i don't want thomas to go to prom anymore because michiko will be there and she's one of the people whose existence reminds me that i am no longer good enough for thomas's courtship and that one day he will leave me for someone like her or possibly her and thomas just loves talking about michiko or vannda or megan and if he saw her all dressed up i feel like he'll ditch me at prom for everyone else and i'll feel like jumping off that goddamn boat and drowning myself in a beautifully moist death
why does it have to be like this why can't i just like
of something quick and painless like
old age at 18 or the angel of death or something
i just want to stay away from thomas and love him from afar because loving him up close is tearing us apart slowly, i can feel it
but should i really stay away like why
i hate this i hate life i hate getting attached to people and loving them i just can't do it anymore i'm done
and school is tomorrow that sucks let me just die please omfg