Oh okay! Thanks for letting me know. I was wondering... Could apl-spec also relate to the fact that you're desire, interest, or energy for a platonic relationship is void, lacks, or frays? Like you still like their company, but trying up held what society has friends do is something you can't really truly fulfill because you're desire isn't strong or fully there sometimes over time? I don't know.
I like having friends, but my idea of platonic love isn't super strong or doesn't seem to be defined how other allos see it I think. I feel very comfortable going in and out because my desire for them isn't super strong at times and sometimes can fray.
And I always feel bad when I prioritize my family or my special interests over friends (I'm not sure my definition of besties is typical. I'm autistic btw so that does sorta have an effect. Idk... The idea of not being super on top with friends instead just chilling and not trying be the perfect host for friends whenever they hang out is kind of freeing for me. Then again I could be just lazy and need to try harder. :/)
I do feeling of fear of missing out and missing them, but I can't really seem to be that involved as much as I wish too sometimes.
Like I said, I don't specifically know other than keeping close friends or friendships are hard sometimes for me especially since I'm autistic and my special interests tend to hold my desire captive the most. I do desire social contact, but I can't really grantee I'm always there 100%
Sorry that this is long, but I kind of needed to vent rn bc platonic relationships are stressing me out as much I do enjoy having them.
You don't have to try harder 🙁
"Like you still like their company, but trying to upheld what society has friends do is something you can't really truly fullfill"
"Could Apl-spec also relate to the fact that you're desire, interest, energy is void, lacks, or frays?"
Aplspec just means it's on a spectrum, Voidpl/Voidplatonic and Fraypl/Frayplatonic are on that spectrum as well.
I think you can certainly identify as Aplspec if you want, and if you experience platonic attraction fluctuating maybe you might be Aplflux(Platonicflux/Aplatonicflux)? At least that's how it sounds.
You do also seem to sound Grey/Fray. But I'm not too sure, I don't think I've heard enough here to go by.
I am also Greypl, and I don't experience strong and/or frequent platonic attraction, and it's not necessarily always the same. I have questioned Aplspike before too due to an instance where I felt it strong. (But so strong I guess it became hard to differentiate what type of attraction I was feeling in that moment. But that's besides the point.)
In any case, it is also possible to be all three! If you feel like they all fit you;
Also perhaps your Aplatonicism is also defined by your Autism.
Aplatonicism was also helped developed by those who were ND.
"Sorry that this is long, but I kind of needed to vent rn because platonic relationships are stressing me out"
Relationships can be stressful and you can feel pressured to do obligatory deeds that don't feel like they come naturally to you.
If anyone else wants to, feel free fill in or to make an addendum.
