#aplspec

[chaoticschizo]

can we normalize consent in platonic relationships

[pleasantpostpeanut]

Because it still bothers me that people use A-spec like it only means asexual, here’s a list of all the identities under the a-spec umbrella. If I missed one, please tell me and I’ll add it.

A-spec stands for:

Anattractional

Aromantic 

Aplatonic

Afamilial 

Asexual

Alove

Asensual

Aphysical

A-alterous

Aemotional

A-aesthetic

Aqueerplatonic

And any combination of the above

[moonprismpower456]

“Reminder that aspecs can still date and love their friends and family” and themselves. And their hobbies, and their passion in life, and the media they consume and their pets and places they like to go and food and drinks they like and in fact they don’t have to subscribe to the idea of “love” at all. You don’t have to date or have friends or family to be a person. You don’t have to fit into what society wants your life to be like to not be a robot. When I complain about aphobes implying that people who don’t date are machines, I’m not just complaining that they devalue platonic or familial love. They’re devaluing the idea of being your own person and thats a type of aphobia people don’t talk about enough. Aspecs can do whatever they want forever and that includes everything.

[neptune-scythe]

I hate the idea that the opposite of love is straight up evil, and that love is required to experience any positive or caring emotion or be "a good person" (whatever tf that even means)

anyone can have empathy or compassion or respect without "love"

you can be social and have community and close relationships without having "love"

you can never experience "love" and still be kinder and treat people better than people who do experience it

and it doesn't make you evil

even if you don't experience empathy or any emotion like that it doesn't make you evil

not experiencing any emotions at all doesn't make you evil

and being empathetic and loving and compassionate doesn't make you immune to being evil or hurting people either

nothing is that black and white

love is in fact not what makes us human

it's literally just another emotion on the same level as all the others ... and not everyone experiences it, just like any other emotion

and while I'm at it there is nothing wrong with being anti social or having a hard time connecting with other people or having no desire for human connection

as long as you're not purposely hurting people, or unintentionally hurting people but never taking accountability or responsibility for it then you're doing okay

stay loveless stay heartless be social or anti social whatever it is you are

thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[completely-sane-scientist]

shoutout to loveless aromantics, aplatonics, and afamilials this pride month <3 you don't need to be "fixed", and you do not have to experience any type of attraction or love in order to be real and human.

[angelheart-bunny]

people who deserve more respect and recognition:

intersex people

trans men

aromantic people

multigender people

people in qpr's

aplatonic people

[your-local-fluie]

Before Pride month ends, I wanna give a special thanks to aplatonic people.

Aplatonic activism and instances changed me and affect me positively to an enormous degree, as an alloplatonic neurodivergent and mentally ill aroace.

They empowered me to enjoy my own company, knowing I don't need friends either to be happy; I can be content with myself. They made me see the value in loneliness. Considering socializing drains me fast, so I tend to stay alone in my room a lot, this is very relevant to me.

They made me look inward, noticing my internal narration is actually possibly the best company I could ask for 90% of the time (when depression doesn't turn it into literal hell). No other person on the planet would understand me better than myself. Nobody shares 100% of my values. No one person shares all of my interests. When I have a healthy dose of self-confidence, I actually laugh at my own wittiness and think that no single friend's humour caters to my taste nearly as well. It would feel frustrating and self-absorbed if aplatonism existing didn't make me realize it's okay to not place friends above yourself.

They taught me to be independent. That's still a work in progress but if I hadn't learned about aplatonism, I'd probably obsess over my best friends way worse than I already do.

It also taught me another level of consent. I have yet to meet an aplatonic person irl (at least as far as I know), but the idea that even placing a label like "friend" on someone without consent could be wrong makes me feel both safer myself (I've gotten a taste of it when my ex QPP broke up with me and asked if we could still be best friends. Wtf we were never best friends dude, just friends, that felt almost dirty), and probably makes people around me feel safer too. Since I'm friendship favourable it actually makes me experience my friendships more respectfully and thoughtfully so they come out healthier.

I don't mean to make it all about myself here—aplatonic people already get the shortest end of the stick when it comes to a-spec visibility and general attitudes towards them, so it's not in such good taste to bring the focus on me and my alloplatonism—but maybe some other alloplatonic people can come across this and be inspired to deconstruct their own platonormativity.

Aplatonic advocacy helps literally everyone I swear. Aro advocacy falls short in some places by too often shifting the focus on platonic bonds as a "replacement" for the "missing" romance. Understanding aplatonism directly contributed to actually *fully* deconstructing amatonormativity without just recycling the same rhetoric.

I've already posted a similar appreciation post about loveless people so I'm not gonna repeat it this year but yeah, shout out to loveless folks as well, y'all rock.

[iceglobe-system]

Aspec warning labels