Freedom - John Shelby
Chapter Thirteen
John Shelby X FemaleOC 🥃
An extremely traumatised woman finds herself tangled up in the lives of the Shelby's again and through John's love is able to find some peace. Though that peace can never last long.
Trigger warning for graphic depictions of abuse, sexual assault, self harm, ptsd/trauma, blood, general violence, mentions of drugs and alcohol, time period typical misogyny
Part Twelve | Fourteen
Masterlist
Word count: 4k
Chapter Thirteen
Two months later, John had found himself on the verge of panic in the centre of a busy London high street. Arthur was stood beside him and had little idea on where to go.
All three brothers had properly reconciled only a week after the fight in Tommy's office. John struggled to believe Tommy's promises and apologies. But his brother had never let him down like that before, perhaps it could be pinned down to one momentary lapse in judgement. Besides, there was no point in continuing the argument - there never was with Tommy - it wouldn't get anywhere.
Meanwhile, he and Alice had a more tense exchange - less drinking involved.
In the dim light of his office, Tommy had apologised professionally and straight faced much to her silent displeasure. He gave her the agreed amount of money in an off white envelope and then asked "So do you have any questions about your husband?"
"D-Don't call him that." Her tone would've sounded authoritative if the words hadn't come out so jutted and jumbled. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"He's not my husband. He's called Jones. And no I don't have any questions." The name fell from her tongue so confidently she almost felt as if it hadn't been banished from her verbal dictionary. A strict ban on the J word that had now been slightly lifted. When had this happened?
Actually, she'd been so enamoured with John that her brain hadn't been aching from it's usual ptsd and anxiety. Even when he was busy or away, spending the night alone and knowing there were unattended knives downstairs, she would be too ashamed to disappoint him like that. No - there had been no blood spilled since the night with the Turks, not from her or John.
There was also her preoccupation with the room she'd started renting; furniture and decorations to buy, a place she could finally call her own. It wasn't amazing by any means - the kitchen, bathroom and living area shared by other tenants - but her bedroom was enough to make her happy, five times bigger than the horrible, wooden caravan and on the top floor. Life was actually starting to fall into place for Alice and for the first time ever she'd felt a mellow serenity, even with the dull ache of her ribs.
They'd only kept her away from work for a short time. She was back at The Garrison almost everyday as she had been before - just avoiding too much physical strain now. It seemed that after the incident with David some kind of word had gotten around as she was hardly pursued by patrons after that; something she was grateful for in her slightly less able state.
This day had been busy, the races were on and as soon as they finished everyone went to the pub - meaning Harry and Alice were serving non stop for hours, barely having any chance to clean or do any upkeep.
"Ugh. The close is going to be long and messy." Alice thought to herself, looking at the spilled drinks and ashtrays stickying up the floor that she had just scrubbed yesterday.
Just then, a familiar voice sounded over the chorus of male noise like bells in the wind and her head quickly snapped towards it. Ada was waltzing through the crowd, the men quickly stepping aside at notice of a Shelby, and her expression was unmistakably chipper. That was odd for her, she hated The Garrison.
"Alice!" She beamed, leaning on the bar and eyeing up her friend "How are you doing?"
Alice shot her a confused look before she poured a pint and handed it to a customer. Ada's smile seemed to drop for a second, staring at Alice's hands, before quickly resuming as her gaze resettled on the girl's face.
"Uh I'm good. Are you okay?" Alice's eyes couldn't stay on Ada whilst she counted coins given to her and then poured another pint, but she was visibly concerned.
"Yeah I'm good." Ada answered, grinning as Alice's eyebrows furrowed. "Just thought I'd come by, see how you are."
"Give me one minute Ada."
Two more pints and that flurry of customers were all temporarily dealt with, giving her a moment to properly investigate the strange behaviour.
"Right." Alice said with a huff before turning to her friend, although Ada was already backing away to leave. "Are you sure you're okay? Why'd you come in here?"
"Yeah I'm great. Just had to check something." She replied casually.
"Well what did you have to check?"
Alice's confusion only got more amusing for Ada. She let out a small laugh and shook her head, turning her body towards the door.
"I'll see you this weekend."
"What are you talking about?" Alice questioned but she was gone, already half way out the building.
"Did they even have plans that weekend?" She thought, perplexed and mildly concerned. However, before she could ponder on the thought much deeper another group of five arrived at the bar and she was back into her robotic routine.
Meanwhile in London, Arthur had been trying to calm down a fevered John as they stood outside their destination. He'd tried to play it cool all day but now that he was at the shop, his doubts started to seriously creep up on him.
It was a complicated situation.
Not having heard a peep about Jones or his men, everyday he doubted more and more that he'd get to satisfy his murderous craving. It played on his mind and made him feel sick with agitation.
Tommy had promised that it would all be over soon but when was soon? When would things finally be able to move on? Was he moving too fast by proposing now when she was still married to another man? A part of him felt ashamed for doing so - for being so desperate to call her his that he defied one of God's most basic sanctities. But most of the shame came from the fact that although the inhabitants of Small Heath would have no idea that she was already married, he would know. It would be another dirty little secret for the family, to sit on a shelf and collect dust with the others.
"Is that unfair to do to Alice? To ask her to keep her past a secret if anyone were to ask. To do something that, if God truly exists, would possibly land her in hell." He pondered, each thought coming at him at a hundred miles per hour. "And what if she didn't want any of that? Would she just tell me no - a hard enough rejection - or run away too? Would this ruin the perfect bliss we've made? Should I just leave it?"
But now that she'd moved into her own place, John couldn't just leave it. In fact, it was the last thing he could do. Every night spent away from her was filled with worry - an unsinkable paranoia regarding not only the safety of his lover but also his own insecurities. If she met the right man, someone richer and surrounded by less violence, would she leave again? Or if someone offered her the right amount of money, would she let them lay with her? Would she turn up on John's doorstep beaten and bloody but un-phased, her worth defined by the wad in her hand? A situation like with the Turks or David could never happen again. It wouldn't happen, not with his ring on her finger.
"It'll be bloody fine John, more than fine! It'll be grand!" Arthur's gruff voice snapped him from the intense trail of thoughts "Let's get this over with."
He took a deep breath before nodding and stepping forward, entering into the elegantly decorated jewellers. The ceilings and walls were varnished white and the display cases stood polished and sparkling, adorned with red velvet and bright little lights. At the till, an old woman dressed in dark robes was eyeing the pair.
"I came in on Monday. You said the ring would be ready today."
She looked John up and down for a moment, racking her memory until his face fit and a small smile creeped up onto her lips.
"I remember. One moment please."
With a sudden movement she didn't previously look capable of, the lady bent down and started to rummage around below the desk. A few seconds later, she remerged with a small, black box in hand. John gulped looking at it, his eyes not straying even as he handed her the money. He stared at the box for a moment before opening it, prompting an impatient Arthur to mumble "Show us the bloody thing then."
Finally he opened it; the ring was as perfect as he'd hoped. A thin silver band, adorned by a circular star with a diamond in the centre - it's brilliant, white shine making him think of the morning light on Alice's skin. It was then that the knot in his stomach loosened and was instead replaced by a swarm of fireworks, spreading to his chest and fingertips as he stroked the jewellery.
Those fireworks only continued throughout the rest of the day, his mind unable to focus on most of his brothers words as he instead tried to plan how he was going to ask the question. Should he just drop it casually or take her somewhere nice? The drive back home gave him hours to ponder.
As the clock struck midnight, Alice had just finished cleaning The Garrison. She groaned at the mocking chime - she hadn't even had time to count the safe or the till but by this point she was far too tired.
"I'll just come in early and sort it." She thought to herself with a yawn, stretching her arms through her coat sleeves.
Slowly, she peered around the pub to check everything was locked before heading to the door but then a knock sounded, halting her stride. It would only ever be one of the Shelby's, she knew that, but for a moment she worried that it might be someone else.
Quickly swallowing that paranoia, Alice pushed open the door and was thrilled to see John, instantly grinning as they locked eyes.
"Right on time, I was just leaving." She said before standing up on her tip toes to kiss him. It was only a peck at first, but almost instinctually her arms made their way around his neck and his around her waist, deepening the kiss.
John could've stood there connected to her forever but eventually Alice pulled away and turned to lock the door, a yawn escaping her lips.
"Yeah I only just got back, been a long day." He contagiously yawned too, lacing his arm back around her waist as they started to walk.
"Bet it wasn't as long as my day."
"Probably not, you look tired."
"Hey!" Alice playfully hit him with a giggle. "You're right though, I am. Can't wait to get into bed."
"Let's go mine then."
Alice raised an eyebrow and looked up at John bemused.
"You're so certain of yourself, what if I wanted to spend tonight alone?"
"I'd find it hard to believe after that kiss you just gave me."
"Well you've been gone a week. I missed you." She scoffed. "How was London?"
"It was alright, everything running smoothly but just gets a bit dull."
John thought of the ring in his pocket; how heavy it felt in that moment despite being a tiny little thing. He wanted to pull it out and let the question glide out his mouth - just like he'd imagined - but no movement nor sound came from him. It didn't feel right. They were both so tired. The other idea was better anyway.
"You'd like some drama would you?" Alice questioned.
"I'd like Arthur to stop drinking so much." He snorted.
"Bad again was he?"
"When's he not?"
A moment of silence passed between them before John spoke again.
"And even if I weren't having to pick up after him it would still be dull. I gets bored without you."
"Is that so? Aren't you too busy running around shooting things to think about me?"
"Never too busy for that."
Alice made a mock disbelief gasp, earning a low chuckle from him. As the pair reached the split determining whose house they'd be heading to, the blue eyed man was pleased at Alice's slight speed up in direction of his. Despite the warm summer days that had started to settle in, the night was still cold and their breathing was visible in white clouds. Her body warmth was something he'd missed dearly.
"Wanna cuddle in front of the fire for a bit?" He whispered, squeezing her side.
"I don't know. I shouldn't stay up I've got to get in early tomorrow, get the count done."
"You don't have to go in at all."
Alice turned to him, startled and suspicious, questioning "What do you mean?" to which John casually replied "I mean I told Arthur to give you the day off."
Her eyes were wide with irritation now.
"Well why on earth would you do that? You know I need the money to pay for my room!" She hissed, not much to John's surprise. She was a bloody workaholic.
"I'll pay for it." He rolled his eyes but his tone stayed light. Her irritation was slightly cute to him, especially over this matter. "And besides, you could do with a day off. Working all the time ain't good for you."
"John, you know I don't feel okay with taking your money." She sighed then added "And I don't work all the time. Not like your brother."
"No one works like Tommy, he's bloody cooked! Just trust me, tomorrow is gonna be great. Do you trust me?"
The combination of his doting eyes and light squeeze he gave her side made it hard for Alice to stay annoyed. This was the idiot she'd spent the last week missing.
"Ugh. Yes I trust you." She groaned, earning a triumphant laugh from John.
"That's what I like to hear."
The next day, the sun was beaming high up in the cloudless sky and if not for the wind it might've felt like summer. Alice awoke with a stretch, surprised to see that John was still heavily asleep - his arms wrapped loosely around her and a thin layer of sweat covering his skin. She snickered slightly at his face, planting a delicate kiss on his forehead before sliding out of his arms to sneak downstairs. It was hard not to make the floor boards creak in the little house.
Once downstairs, she started making food for the picnic they'd decided to have - even quickly popping to the shop to get a surprise for John. Soon, the basket was stacked with sandwiches and cakes; a sight neither of them had seen since childhood. Then she made breakfast, humming absentmindedly to herself as she cooked the eggs and bacon. With the sun shining on her skin through the window and her body finally feeling well rested after a week of non stop work, Alice was secretly glad that John had forced her to have a day off. Although, she wouldn't have admitted it to him that morning.
It only took a few minutes and soon she was shuffling back up the stairs, balancing two plates and two cups of tea on a metal tray. John woke up at the sound of her foot steps entering the room.
"Alice?" He yawned, his voice low and gruff with sleep "You made breakfast?"
"Yes I did." She answered, placing the tray down beside him "You slept well?"
"Yeah actually, for the first time in ages." He stretched and grinned at Alice as she sat cross legged on the bed.
Nothing could beat waking up like that. A beautiful girl and a hot breakfast.
"Probably cus of my presence." She teased before tucking into her plate.
"Yeah probably, you bloody witch." John agreed and then tucked into his.
An hour later they were sat in the car, Alice chatting absentmindedly whilst John feigned his casual demeanour, and an hour after that they had finally arrived at their destination. It was a lake surrounded by fields of trees and flowers, in a spot so hidden that Alice was suspicious of how John could even know about it. The car couldn't even make it into the woods - the path being so scattered that they'd had to walk fifteen minutes on foot. Alice didn't mind though, not at all, it was beautiful.
John laid down the picnic blanket and sat on it with a content huff, watching Alice take in the scenery. His mind was finally able to relax a bit, satisfied with how on track things seemed to be going. Ever since stepping out of the house that morning he'd been worrying, but her glee filled face as she laid beside him eased that worry.
"It's so pretty here. There aren't bodies in that lake are there?" Alice teased, opening the basket and laying out a few sandwiches.
"None I know about." John smirked "Why, you wanna go for a swim?"
Her eyes snapped back to the lake. "That would be nice actually. Should we?"
"Bloody hell Alice I was only joking. You'll be fucking freezing! It's warm but not that warm!"
"Some fella at the pub was telling me that he swims in the river every morning no matter how cold it is and that's why he's still kicking it at sixty!" She chirped.
"Yeah, Mark tells that to everyone but have you ever seen him doing it? No! No one has!" John laughed.
"Well I recon he does."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I do. In fact I might ask to see if I can join him next time."
He scoffed and rolled his eyes before picking up one of the sandwiches and starting to eat. After a minute he exclaimed "I don't know how you do it. But this is the best ham sandwich I've ever ate."
And it was true. Every thing she cooked or made for him tasted better. Like there was some kind of magic ingredient she had.
Alice looked up at him with adoring eyes, sitting up and placing a quick kiss on his cheek.
"I love you."
"I - love you - too." John answered in between mouthfuls, prompting Alice to scrunch up her nose and pull a face at him.
"Finish your food before you speak." She teased, playfully poking his side.
Hours passed by merrily. The sun moved overhead, trees swayed, the lake glistened, birds sang.
"I've got a surprise for you." John's smirk expertly hid the weight in his chest.
Alice's eyes went wide.
"Shit, I've got a surprise for you too, I forgot!" She gasped before reaching into the picnic basket and holding out a small white paper bag.
John's breath caught in his throat for a moment, his built up preparation being blown away by her sudden admission. He shot her a confused look, wondering what on earth she could've surprised him with that was worth being interrupted, then he grabbed the bag. Inside was his favourite treat, a sugar donut from the bakery down the road.
This was why he loved her. A loud, relieved laugh erupted from his mouth, Alice now looking confused as he leant over and stroked her face.
"Th-Thank you."
"What's so funny? It's your favourite isn't it?" She wondered.
"Yeah." His amusement had calmed as his fingers wrapped around the box in his pocket. "You're just funny."
"Why? What's your surprise?" She asked accusingly, although her tone was laced with a giggle.
John took a deep breath before pulling his hand out of his pocket.
"I was gonna ask if you wanna marry me?" Despite the smile on his face, his voice shook slightly and his nerves were clear.
At first Alice didn't respond, staring in shocked silence at the box in his hand. Then, her eyes started to dart between the box and John's face and a strange, awkward laugh jolted from her lips.
"What? You're joking. Me? You want to marry me?" She choked out, looking almost as lost as she had that night in the road. She felt almost as lost.
The question had, for some reason, brought back all of the doubt and insecurity she'd worked so hard to overcome in a split second. Every reason why he wouldn't, why he couldn't ever possibly want to marry her bombarded her brain. It didn't feel real. How could someone as rotten as her ever have landed a fiancé like John? He'd even said before that he didn't want to marry her until Jones was dead.
"Yeah. Obviously. Why would it be anyone other than you?" His voice was low now, leaning closer towards her. This wasn't one of the responses he'd been preparing for.
"I, I don't know." Alice stuttered. There were so many answers to that question that she couldn't possibly know where to start. But then her senses started to catch up with her and she suddenly shook her head with a rapid blink.
What was she thinking? Of course it was her. John loved her and she loved him. This was all she'd ever wanted. Fuck Jones and fuck how he made her feel. She deserved this.
With a snap back into reality, she turned to him and exclaimed "Oh my God, John! Yes! One hundred times yes!"
The weight he'd been feeling disappeared entirely when he slipped the ring onto her finger; all of the doubts and worries gone. She squealed excitedly before throwing herself onto John's lap, the pair immediately embracing into a passionate kiss. When they pulled away, the pair stared into each others eyes - drunk on love - before laughing giddily. He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair with one hand and her ring finger with the other, admiring the jewellery.
"It looks even better than I'd imagined." He murmured, planting a delicate kiss on the top of her head. "I can't wait to see you in white."
Alice sighed dreamily, her heart still thumping from adrenaline though a feeling of serene calmness filled her.
"I can't wait either. To be Mrs Alice Shelby. To be your wife... Jesus John! Is this even real?" She chuckled, moving her other hand to stroke his leg. "I never dreamed that someone could love me this much."
Neither of them spoke for a minute, content with the silence, engaged in their own thoughts. John had questions to ask now and so did Alice.
"What made you change your mind.. about Jones?" She asked, a slight edge in her tone at his name.
John swallowed and took a breath before answering. He still instinctively felt sick at the name - a flash of grotesque images appearing then disappearing just as fast as they came.
"A lot of things. A lot of thinking. But to put it simple; fuck the bastard. You was never his, not under anything righteous." His tone was quiet; soothing yet confident and she felt assured by his answer, nodding at the response.
"Now I got a question for you." John added.
"Go on." She laid down so that her head was in his lap, looking up at him with a grin.
"Are we gonna do this proper? Like church and all?" He peered down at her with a chuckle.
"Obviously! Why? What were you thinking?"
"I don't know Alice, you're pretty odd. Figured you might want to tie the knot in a bog for all I know."
They both laughed at that before Alice responded.
"It would be funny. But no. I want to do this properly. I don't think I've ever done anything properly."
John bent down to plant a short kiss on her lips.
"We'll do it properly then. Exactly how you want it love."
"I love you so much." She dreamily sighed up at him, prompting a short snicker.
"I love you too, more than I think you know."
Hiii I hope you all enjoy! I much prefer writing angst over fluff I've never attempted to write this much fluff ever so I hope it's good. Don't forget to like or comment! Any love is appreciated. Stay safe xxx
