No Man's Land.
Summary: Lizzie's friend happens to be too busy for the day, so she recommends that you take on the job of helping the youngest of the Shelby brothers out.
Warnings: mentions of prostitution and sex, allusions at abuse, society rooted in misoginy.
Pairings: Finn Shelby x f!Reader (platonic for now!)
Characters: Finn Shelby, Prostitute! f!Reader.
Word Count: 2306.
This is set in Season 4! <3 Hope you enjoy your reading!!
You looked at yourself in the framed mirror that hung on one of the corners of the crowded room. The image that greeted you did not at all reflect what you felt inside. Make up helped hide your sunken eyes, and gave you and the rest of the world the comfortable illusion that everything was just fine; that you didn’t loathe every single second of your day with a burning passion.
Sleep was hard, but then again, it was that way for most women, at least in your line of work.
Your lips looked nearly naked, swollen and numb, but it was ok. The next one wouldn’t notice, you doubted he would even care at all if he did. You covered your skin in a disguise anyway; cheeks flushed, alive, and lips fresh, eyes hungry for more, fingers willing to please.
To please a man, you thought, a Shelby man.
That should mean something, should make you feel nervous, scared even, but you were surprisingly calm as you brushed your hair into place.
No matter the name before it, a man was a man, and that you knew how to handle. Even though dangerous, like any wild animal, once you learnt their language, your chances at survival increased greatly, to the point where sometimes you may even feel safe around them.
That, you had learnt the hard way, was as much an illusion as the smile that automatically grew on your face when you heard the doorbell ring outside, signaling for you to get ready. As was the curve on your back, or the confident tilt of your head as a man made his way into the room, deciding your fate for the rest of the day.
“Mr. Shelby, is it?” the young man nodded his head, but his face was tense and hard, he closed the door behind him almost hesitantly. He waited a few seconds before he met your eyes, then hastily proceeded to avoid your gaze. A flash of wild blue was what you had expected when you were told that a Shelby would be visiting today, or even a pair of dark stones, menacing, hungry for what laid beneath your clothes.
That wasn't what you found in his face for that brief moment though, his eyes were not as dark as caves nor as cold as ice; they felt bashful, innocent, like a fawn wandering a little too far away from home for comfort.
That, you thought at that moment, must've been one of the many illusions that surrounded you these days. After all, this was one of the Shelby brothers standing in front of you, and the blood on their hands was something nearly impossible to overlook, as was their infamous reputation.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he stood at the entrance for a bit too long, which meant that you had to stand up to go and greet him first. You groaned internally as your body ached in protest, your legs sore, your skin burning in tender places, but you didn't let him see that. You offered a hand, and he took it; sweaty, and warm, but that didn't matter. You gently pulled him towards the center of the room, to the foot of the bed, where you sat and waited for him to follow suit.
He was a good looking young man indeed, but this was not enough to fool you. You had witnessed beautiful forest fires; but that never stopped them from burning everything down to ashes.
Albeit you would've thought a Shelby man to be quite rowdier than this one was.
Once again, it was you who broke the silence.
“I know that the plan was to meet with Lizzie’s friend and not me, so I apologize if I can't reach your expectations. I promise I will try, Mr. Shelby,” as you spoke, you performed what you had memorized expertly, exposing your bare breasts to the dusty air of the room. He didn't need to talk, you knew what was expected of you, and you were sure he’d make you know otherwise, so you paid no mind to his silence.
“It’s fine.” his eyes darted towards your hands as you placed them on his leg, and he shifted in place.
“There's no need to be nervous, sir, I will do anything you ask for,” squeezing one of your hands, you took his with the other and gently led it towards your chest, trying to show him the way, but he wriggled it out of your grasp before any contact was made, scooting away from you uncomfortably. It didn’t leave your hands any colder than before, but his body language did cause a sting at the pit of your stomach, even if for a second. You pursed your lips then, slightly shocked as you tried to decipher his behavior.
“You really don’t need to,” his face was pointing opposite from you, and you wondered what could be of more interest to him than what you had to offer.
“I’m confused.” trying to gain his attention back, you spoke, searching for his gaze with a lean of your body. He barely glanced at your face.
“This is not right, I don’t want to… to force anything, ‘right?” you tried to make sense of his words, looking elsewhere. You were starting to feel frustrated. Was this some sort of game? Was he making fun of you? He didn’t look like he was having fun, precisely. Why was he here, then?
“Do you find me unpleasant, Mr. Shelby?” there wasn’t as much honey tangled in your voice anymore as there was a moment ago, words coming out sharper than you intended them to. Time wasn’t something you enjoyed spending, let alone waste it. If he wished to change whores, he should be a man about it and just say it.
“Please don't call me that.”
“Isn't that your name, though, sir?” your patience was wearing thin, but your voice remained calm.
“My name is Finn, and, I don't,” he stopped himself, seeming to think his words over before he spoke. “it's not that I find you unpleasant, believe me, I’m just… I don’t want this, not this way…”
“Right…” you busied your hands with buttoning up your blouse, concentrating on each button individually. This gave you time to think as the man paced around the room aimlessly. “but you paid for this service.” you carefully pointed out.
“Yes, I know. Look, my family just expects me to, and I thought that I could do it, but… I don't like the way I’m feeling right now.” you couldn’t stop the small frown that made its way to your face. Of course, he was one of those.
“Ashamed?” you wanted to get this over with.
“No, not ashamed!” he looked at you then, and he must’ve seen something lingering in your gaze, because his eyes opened slightly more than usual, and he rushed to say his next words. “This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my family, I promise.”
You sighed.
‘’Why does your family expect you to?’’
‘’I thought it might be a good idea to tell them that I was, well… a virgin.’’ his last words were soft, like a shameful confession, but you heard them clearly.
‘’Oh,’’ your gaze dropped to the floor for a second. A virgin. That concept was so far away from you, it felt strange to hear it again, to reflect on its meaning like you did once, when you were a child. You do remember the fear, though. Knowing that someday it would be taken from you, painfully, ripped away like a wobbly tooth by someone that did not understand, nor care.
Because they couldn’t understand, not one bit.
Yet, how could you explain the fear that you could see dancing in his soft green eyes? Suddenly you felt as if you were looking at yourself, a version of yourself lost long ago, that knew no delusions; not yet. The one you would do anything to keep safely wrapped around your arms.
How could a Shelby, out of all people, feel so fragile under your eyes?
And how was he alive?
‘’Apparently they think it's time for me to become a man, so,’’
‘’You’re not a man?’’ tilting your head to the side, you questioned.
‘’Not until I’ve fucked, I’m not.’’ you exhaled a laugh at that, getting up from your seat by the bed, and walking up to the small cabinet under the mirror. Opening it, you pulled a small bottle of rum out, pouring it out into one of the glasses that sat on top. Finn Shelby observed your movements from his side of the room, fidgeting with the cuffs of his sleeves.
‘’I mean no offense by this, but that's a weird logic to have.’’ you walked up to him then, offering the glass up. He looked at it for a moment before taking it, with a nod of his head. You went back to fill your own.
‘’You think?’’
‘’I know.’’ you turned to look at him again, leaning back against the cabinet and stopping to sip on your drink. ‘’I’ve met all kinds of people, and I can assure you, no matter how many times they’d visit our whorehouse, or whomever they chose to fuck each night, that didn't make them any more of a man than they were before. Not in my eyes.’’ you shrugged.
‘’So fuck, or don’t. It’s the shit that you do outside of that what will tell everyone else what sort of man you’ve chosen to be.’’
He was silent again, but pain was visibly haunting his face. This was an intense chat to have with a stranger, but somehow this room, the very same room that held countless wars each day, some of them bloody and terrifying, had become no man’s land for the both of you, the sounds of guns and screams too far away for you to hear, and a strange sense of calm filling your chests.
‘’You don’t need to worry about me, I won’t tell anyone,’’ setting your glass down, you busied yourself looking for something else, giving him time to think, since he seemed to need it.
Once you found what you were looking for, you approached him again.
‘’Here,’’ you reached out your hand again, this time holding up to him a considerable amount of money; the same amount that you had received for the job. He seemed to snap out of his small trance then, knitting both eyebrows together softly.
‘’No, no, please keep it!’’ he held your hands and pushed them back gently.
‘’You payed for the fucking, and we’re not fucking, are we?’’ he didn’t let go of your hands, stubbornly holding them close to you.
‘’Let me pay you for your time, otherwise I’ll feel awful,’’
‘’Alright, if that's what you want, I thank you.’’
‘’I should be the one to thank you, really, uh… uhm… ‘’ he stared blankly at you for a second. You noticed his ears turning red, beneath all the freckles that adorned his skin.
‘’Something the matter?’’ you quirked one eyebrow up.
‘’I just realized I never asked for your name, that’s all.’’ he shook his head with an embarrassed smile, and you turned to look at him for a moment while you put the money back in its former place.
‘’My name? And why would that matter?’’ with a light groan, you fully rose back to your feet. God, you felt like sleeping. You hadn’t felt like sleeping in weeks.
‘’How can we become friends if I don't even know what to call you, miss?’’ his smile took you off guard, you had to admit. Lips folding into themselves with a soft curve, bared teeth never seemed so harmless in your eyes.
‘’I suppose you're right,’’ after you told him your name, you reached for your glass and took a final swig, the both of you falling into a silence that could not be described accurately, for it didn’t make you uncomfortable, but at the same time, it gave you a sense of vertigo that felt deeply unusual.
Finn, on the other hand, looked way calmer than before, and you didn’t know him enough to tell, but you could swear there was a hint of the smile before lingering at the corners of his mouth.
‘’Well, I… will be taking my leave now, I’m supposed to be making money. But I’m glad to have met a man as respectable as you’ve proven to be, Finn,’’ you figured some theatricals wouldn't hurt, so you courtly bowed at him with a smile, turning to go for the door.
You stopped when you heard him call your name, however.
‘’Will you stay? I’ve some money left to spend, and I did enjoy our chat, you’re honest.'' when you turned to look at him, he was sitting on the bed again, a light smile while he looked at you. You couldn't help but return it.
''You’re paying me to speak to me? Shouldn't that be the other way around? You’re the Shelby, I’m just…''
“You’re you, and I’m me. At least in this room,'' he didn't stop looking in your eyes whilst you approached his sitting figure, waiting for some sort of confirmation, some mutual agreement. You pursed your lips, looking around for a moment.
''No man in sight?'' he shook his head at your words, and you stepped closer to the bed, to the free spot beside him.
''No woman either,'' he dared say as you sat down finally, letting your back hit the soft bed, and stretching your arms comfortably. You agreed, silently.
''Man, woman, what in the fuck does that mean, anyway?'' you whispered back, and he followed you down onto the softness.
