A/N: So my mcfreaking partner in angst @proudtobeaginger gave me a headcanon and I JUST HAD TO WRITE IT!! So thank you, Hali, for this wonderful angst idea, you are the best ♡
Summary: After being tortured for months, Lucy has begun to isolate herself, trying to assure people (mostly herself) that she’s fine, but a certain Dragon Slayer doesn’t give up on her so easy. [NALU]
Rating: M (?) // Words: 1882 // Pairing: Natsu x Lucy [NaLu]
FF.NET
Triggers: Mentions of torture, implied PTSD
Hope you enjoy!
Lucy couldn’t care less if her friends wanted to support her. Every time they laid their eyes on her, they were filled with pity. She didn’t need their pity. She flat out didn’t want it. It didn’t matter if their intentions were good. Couldn’t they see that she wanted to be left alone?
Every time anyone dared to give her shoulder a gentle touch, or try to hug her, her mind went to complete fight or flight mode. She couldn’t get close to people. They would hurt her. They would hurt her so badly.
“Hello! I’m May. It’s nice to meet you!” the raven-haired girl greeted. Her eyes were big and brown, and her face showed nothing but innocence. “My brother’s are really excited to meet you! They are inside the house.” She pointed the thumb towards the big, cottage-looking house. Even that building illuminated nothing but innocence.
Lucy nodded, putting on her million-dollar smile. “I’m excited to meet them as well. I promise I’ll take care of your animal issue. That’s what us mages do!”
May gestured to the open door, and that’s when Lucy made the biggest mistake of her life. She walked through it first. Behind her, May shut the door, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get out.
That had been the last time she had seen the sun for months.
Two months, five days, and six hours to be precise. When she was tortured, all she did was count. Count the seconds, her breaths, the amount of times she was whipped, how many times her tormenters gasped in-between their laughs, and so on. She counted.
She still counted. That was her way to cope.
How many times she had scrubbed her skin raw because she desperately needed to erase the memories of this experience. The times she woke up screaming because their faces were everywhere. How often both Gray and Erza tried calling her name outside her apartment. How many times the guild sent food her way, because there was no way she would cook for herself. How many times she could hear Happy cry outside her apartment. How many times Natsu had knocked on her door, trying to get her to let him in.
She counted a lot, alright.
But why couldn’t they just accept that she was fine? She didn’t need help, she just needed to be alone. She was perfectly fine!
But how come she couldn’t leave her room? She was fine! She still woke up in cold sweat, even though she was totally normal. Things like knives, her whip, her keys, and darkness would send vivid flashbacks her way, despite her being fine! A simple thing as an open door would take her breath away for hours at a time.
She was fine. Oh, so okay. She didn’t need anyone, that was why she blocked every attempt of her spirits trying to go through her gate. Oh, Aquarius would have her head when she finally let them through.
The worst thing, though, was the fact that Natsu was sleeping in the stairway leading up to her apartment. Every night he would be laying there, saying goodnight to, even though he knew she wouldn’t answer him. He would wake up, asking if he could come in - no - then ask if she wanted to go the guild - no - and finally sighing, saying that he would be back with food later - I don’t want it. I’m fine.
This morning was no different.
Lucy lay still in her bed, finally having mustered the strength the open her eyes to do something as productive as staring at the ceiling. She could feel the heat from her keys, which were lying on her bedside table. Loke was trying to break through, since she was weakest in the morning, but she thought ahead of him. She wouldn’t bow under so easily. She needed to be alone, because she was fine.
Outside her apartment door, she heard Natsu groggily waking up, groaning as he stretched. He did that a lot lately, probably from sleeping on the floor in such a cramped space. It was his own doing, though, so he couldn’t complain.
“Morning, Luce,” he yawned. Silence. If she just stayed like that, he would go away on his own. A pang of guilt shot through her heart, despite her trying to stay strong. Deep on the inside, she hated ignoring her friends, but she needed to. She was strong enough to handle herself. “Can I borrow your shower? We can talk a bit if you want.”
“No,” she whispered. She knew he could hear her, so no reason to waste precious energy to raise her voice.
She could particularly hear him frowning. “Lucy, please just let me in. I’m getting really worried. We all are.”
Lucy sat up in her bed, pulling her knees to her chest. Don’t bow under, don’t bow under, you’re fine!
For minutes, she sat in that position, fighting the nausea she was suddenly feeling - which came from her poor eating habits as of lately - her spirits trying to break through, and Natsu’s obvious disappointment.
“Luce, we both know I could open your door if I wanted to,” he reminded her. “And I really want to see you.”
Suddenly she went stiff. She didn’t know if it was the mentions of a goddamn door or the fact that he could get to her. No one should be near her. She was a disgrace.
Her breath hitched in her throat, and the death grip she had around her legs tightened. The sun was blinding her vision, but she didn’t care. She was fine.
Natsu sighed. “I could probably have worded that better.”
The guilt was back. God, could she feel nothing but guilt? Oh, yeah she could. Anger, sadness, and the urge to punch a wall, but also guilt.
“Please, Lucy. Just… don’t shut me out. I’m ya best friend, and I-I’m really trying not to push you here. I get that ya need space, but I just want to help.”
“I’m fine,” she hissed, trying to push herself further against the wall. This way, maybe she would disappear.
“I know you are,” he assured her. Hell, these past days it seemed like the only thing leaving her mouth. “Can I just come in for a bit? I’ll leave when ya want me to. I just gotta see you.”
Lucy thought about it for a bit. Natsu wasn’t one to break his promises, and he alway respected her boundaries.
A shaky sigh escaped her lips. “It’s open,” she whispered. Of course it was open. If it wasn’t, then she might get locked in again.
With a creaking sound, the door opened. Lucy didn’t look up, her eyes plastered on her pale hand with the annoyingly bright guild mark. It was mocking her, as if it was saying, ‘Hey look! You’re still in Fairy Tail! Your friends will help you!’ But she didn’t need help.
“Hey, Luce,” he greeted. Lucy didn’t even have to look at him to know there was a small smile on his lips. That smile that shone ‘Hey, everything will be okay!’, but she already knew that because everything was okay.
In return, Lucy let herself nod, greeting him emotionlessly.
His calm footsteps moved towards her bed slowly, as if she was a stray dog he had to be patient with, or else she would run away. It wasn’t far from the truth, though.
As he reached her bed, he made sure to sit down far away from her, not wanting to push her boundaries. Despite having been apart for so long, Natsu knew when not to push her, and this was one of those times.
“How are ya holding up?” he asked softly, getting comfortable in the other end of her bed. He crossed his legs, placing his hands in his lap.
“Fine,” she replied, almost not audible, but she knew Natsu would catch onto it.
Natsu nodded, taking in her figure.
After the whole ordeal, she hadn’t just change mentally, but also physically. She had lost quite some weight, but her body had been ‘decorated’ with cuts, bruises and nasty wounds that were slowly but surely scarring. Wendy had healed her the best that she could, but some of the things just didn’t go away.
Some things magic couldn’t erase.
After a uncomfortable amount of silence, Natsu cleared his throat. “Wanna go for a walk? We don’t hafta go to the guild. We can just stroll around the apartment complex?”
Hastily Lucy shook her head. She couldn’t leave her apartment. It was the only place she felt remotely safe.
Natsu seems to accept the answer, leaning back against the headboard.
They sat like the for what seemed like hours, but was probably closer to mere minutes. None of them were saying a thing, and the only thing audible was the sound of their breathing, but also the annoying ticking of the clock hanging in Lucy’s kitchen.
It was getting unbearable to sit like that. Confronted by the person she trusted the most, and she couldn’t even get herself to look him in the eyes.
Lucy felt her eyes sting as tears gathered in her waterline. She hadn’t made eye contact with him yet, but she knew that he was staring at her with a gaze full of worry. She hated worrying people when she was fine.
A tear escaped her eye, reaching her quivering lips. She was growing weak, and there was nothing she could do about but let her tears fall as her best friend was trying to figure out what to do with himself.
“Lucy, can… can I-“ he cut himself off, his hands swaying above his lap. “Can I touch you?”
Without her even thinking about it, Lucy nodded, and soon she found herself slumped against him chest, his arms encircling her shoulders. His grip wasn’t tight around her as her body was stiff in his embrace.
She didn’t know where to start. Should she apologize? Should she do nothing? Should she ask him to leave her? She couldn’t figure out what the hell to do.
Instead, her body relaxed in the hug - for some weird reason - and her withheld sobs escaped her lips. Everything she had been holding in for the past weeks came undone, and she buried her head in his chest, crying out all of her sadness, regret, and guilt. All the anger towards herself seemed to flatten out, and bounce towards the people who had done this to her.
Natsu tightened his grip around her, burying his face in her golden locks. Small hitched breaths escaped his lips, and she knew that he was crying as well. Why wouldn’t he? His best friend went missing from over two months, and began isolating herself.
For a long time, the two of them just sat in each others arms, both crying and taking on each others pain.
That was when Lucy realized that things weren’t fine, but that was okay. Things didn’t have to be fine all the time, and even though it hurt so, so much, she was strong. She had support, and despite not being fine, Lucy Heartfilia was okay with that.
Walking into the guild hall hand in hand, Lucy and Natsu smiled joyfully. "Seven months now Natsu!" Lucy squealed in delight, hugging her boyfriend close to her.
"Seven months since when?" Natsu smirked down at the blonde.
Lucy scowled at the pinkette male. "Since you asked me out you dummy." She lightly smacked his arm playfully as they walked closer to the guild bar.
Lisanna sprawled around the corner of the bar, her sly eyes on Natsu and Lucy. A mass of distaste for the blonde; Lucy. Smiling widely, a plan formulated in her mind. She began to leave the pillar she was looking out from and began to walk towards the couple.
"Natsu, come here and kiss me." Lisanna purred as she came closer to the couple.
Natsu turned and stared at Lisanna before looking down at Lucy. His face changed and his eye brows were raised as he then turned to Lisanna."I told you not to say things like that near Lucy." He spoke.
"Huh!?" Lucy exclaimed."What is going on here!?"
Natsu quickly pushed Lucy out of the way before he approached Lisanna's side and leant down giving Lisanna a quick peck on the lips. In turn Lisanna smiled and turned to speak to Lucy.
"Natsu loves me more, we were childhood sweethearts, he promised me that we would be married. This is also a petty excuse." Lisanna turned to Natsu, who seemed to change character (due to bad writing, Natsu is now Majorly OC).
"Lucy it is true, I love Lisanna and as a bonus of me breaking up with you." Natsu spoke, then clicked his fingers.
Suddenly Erza, and Gray were beside his side. "We are kicking you off the team because for some universal reason among Fairy Tail fanfictions you are too weak and Lisanna is better and stronger." Gray and Erza spoke together.
Lucy stood in shock of the scenario. "What do you mean!?" Lucy shrieked. Everyone had gone insane, was she the only normal one anymore?
"Huh? What do you mean Lucy? I thought you would understand." Natsu once again changed his character and his emotions within seconds, represented as dumb and immature.
"Whaa-?" Lucy couldn't finish her sentence. All of a sudden people walked past her and ignored the blonde. Confused and baffled at the sudden change of the guilds behavior, Lucy attempted to talk to Mira, who completely ignored the Blonde's attempts.
Sadly Lucy found her-self sitting with the only people in the guild who were closest to her excluding Natsu, Erza and Gray (brace yourself for a long list of characters whom FF authors seems to favor most) Wendy, Gajeel, Levy, Happy, Carla, Pantherlily, Romeo, etc (insert minor characters in here).
"I don't get it." Lucy rubbed her temples, this whole scenario was so--out of this world and completely not the behavior of what the guild would act like, let alone Natsu.
"It's okay Lu-chan. I know people will remember you soon." Levy comforted the Blonde. "What people have forgotten about me now?" Lucy shrieked.
Mira turned around and pointed directly at Lucy."YOU'RE WEAK AND STUPID, WE MUST HARM YOU NOW AS YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING, BUT DUE TO THIS FANFICTION IT HAS TO WORK. EVERYONE ATTACK!" Mira screamed.
Lucy's eyes widened in awe as people turned to face her and started throwing beer jugs, plates, and food at the blonde. Stumbling to get up, Lucy raced outof the guild hall, running straight to her cosy home on Strawberry Street.
"I'm so confused." Lucy puffed as she slid down her bedroom door. "That all happened so fast..."
Moving over to her bedside table, she looked at the picture of Natsu and her just taken a month ago. Confused, Lucy sat on her bed. "This has to be a funny joke."
A tapping at her window awoke the blonde from her thoughts. There on the window sill was Natsu, dark, broad and a bit menacing. "I hope you have come to apologize." Lucy puffed, hands on hips.
Natsu licked his lips, eyes narrowing in on her."It's dragon mating season and your my mate."
Lucy raised an eyebrow and opened the window."What did you say?"
Natsu pounced on top of the blonde. "I'm now a feral character who is now going to -- (explicit) -- to you.”
Lucy in shock laid her eyes wide open, she then shook her head to wake herself up. "I don't think so mister! First you go and cheat on me, dump me, kick me off the team, ignore me, bash me and then come crawling back for some --(explicit)--, I don't think so mister!"
Natsu snarled at the blonde, "That’s not a good idea." Just as he was about to --(explicit)-- on the blonde, a majestic glowing woman released a dramatic "Noo!" from her lips.
"Stay where you are!" The woman spoke, arm raised.
Lucy's jaw dropped, as she looked between Natsu and the woman."Who are you!? How did you get in my house!?"
Lucy pointed to Natsu, then gestured to the woman. "Do you know her?"
Natsu shrugged and relaxed a bit, nothing like how he was a second ago. He climbed off the blonde. "Never seen her in my life."
"I have sensed your heart ache, from what has happened to you." The woman spoke before Lucy interrupted her.
"Who me?" Lucy pointed to herself.
"Yes, yes shh now." The woman hushed her quickly before dramatizing her next sentence."Your heart ache has called me here. You are also of age now. Your mother was the Queen of dragons and asked me to protect you, you are now going to be the Queen of dragons yourself, after an odd number of six years of training."
"What? Queen of dragons? You knew my mother?" Lucy exclaimed, slightly suspicious.
"Of course I know your mother, Ashliegh."
"Layla."
"Yes yes that's what I said."
Lucy's eyebrows furrowed as she turned to look at Natsu sitting next to her whom seemed, interested in the conversation. He in turn looked back at Lucy and shrugged his shoulders. "What do you mean six years of training?"
"You will train to become a elemental or celestial dragon slayer, depending on what the reader wants." The woman spoke dramatically.
"Readers? Wha--"
"Shh shh doesn't matter, you must come with me now so you may train." The strange woman spoke, and she leaned and grabbed Lucy's wrist.
"I'm not going anywhere with you! You nut job for all I know you could be the city's current serial killer!" Lucy protested, hitting the woman's hand at the same time.
The woman, hovered in a pause before releasing the blondes hand. "Actually I have another appointment else where." She moved to the door before looking back at Lucy and Natsu. "You never saw me."
Staring at the door, Lucy shook her head before turning to Natsu. "Can you go? It's been a messed up day today."
"Uh, no. I hate you still for no reason and I am now going to attack you in a terrible manner." Natsu sneared at the blonde
"Wha--!"
________________________________________________________________
Lucy awoke in her room, it was dark, and the only light was the moonlight that fled through her slightly parted curtains. The moonlight shone down on the picture of herself with Natsu on the bedside table.
Looking around the room, Lucy smiled in relief to know that this was reality.
It was just a dream.
A weird messed up completely out of character dream.
Rolling over in her bed to face the window, Lucy was greeted by a sleepy Nastu.
"Are you okay Luce?" He mumbled in a tired state.
Lucy nodded in reply, snuggling herself into his chest. "Just a dream."
"Nightmare?"
"Just a mixture of weirdness and my vivid imagination."
Lucy felt Natsu smile against her forehead. Her kissed her there, before ensuring the arms snaked around Lucy's waist was tight, and protective.
"Tell me about it in the morning, for now I'm--Natsu yawned-- tired..." Natsu dozed off again as he cuddled her close to his body.
Lucy smiled and drifted off herself, comfortable, safe and warm in his loyal arms.
Your writings are fantastic! Your lugratsu / gratsulu fanfic is amazing ( they're my guilty pleasure ) I'll have to spend a whole day catching up with your stories since I'm not very active on Tumblr anymore, but your stories are worth it. Keep it up!
Awww! Thank you so much!! I wanna write some more lugratsu/gratsulu soon, just need some inspiration haha (they are also my guilty pleasure)
Mashimas already announced that he's working on the next anime adaptation? That and why would the movie be the end? It's just right after the time skip and Natsu still had his bandage.
I really really hope that you’re right. They keep making it seem like it’s the end, but I feel like I just have really bad interpretation skills. I’ll rest easy until it actually happens, I suppose~ No point in brooding, eh
