The Ladies at The Heart tell us “The first time is a threshold. On one side is the world as you know it, and on the other side is the unknown.”
I first met Kaitlin Prest, the executive producer of The Heart, at the 2013 Public Radio Program Directors Association conference in Atlanta. PRPD is the who’s who showcase of public radio that’s part 50-part lecture, part mediocre banquet, and part groupie stakeout for those who really want to know how Garrison Keillor takes his coffee or how many drinks they can knock back with Ophira Eisenberg without embarrassing themselves. Those are the selling points at least. In reality, it’s nearly a week of networking, calculated lunch dates and interpreting info graphics about audience engagement over lunch.
The cool, hip and/ or iconic host talent swoop in, taking shifts beguiling big market station management to give their show prime time in programming, and fledgling productions chomp at any bit they can grab giving away free demos on USB drives and tossing business cards like confetti. Kaitlin was one of the latter.
We spied each other from across the banquet hall on the second day of the conference. Across an endless sea of middle-aged white men in suits, we stood out, each wearing teal. As the Executive Fellow at the Corporation for Public broadcasting that year, I opted for a bright, but conservative look wearing a teal blouse under a neutral herringbone jumper; she rocked a black and teal ensemble that involved tulle and a bustier. We became friends immediately, embracing in a hug of introduction and relief.
There was a private performance by a famous chick from the 90’s happening at Georgia Public Broadcasting that evening. We buddied up, giggling like school girls in the mega shuttle bus to the event. Kaitlin was passionate about public radio, but felt locked out of the club. Her podcast, Audio Smut was a sensual sound engineering feat focused on the intimate intricacies of life. She explained that one of the goals of the sex-positive show was to provide a platform for diverse, underrepresented people and stories. Queer, Trans, old… the formerly abused, the emotionally scarred. Because those people have sex too. And moreover, she reasoned, these people desired and deserved to be visible amid a culture that venerates vapid, plastic sexuality.
But just like the audience she sought to represent, her pitch was met with discomfort by some. For one, the name “Audio Smut” was not particularly welcome on public radio air. No one really knew what smut meant, but most agreed it was bad. Kaitlin, on the other hand took the word to mean something along the lines of “dirt”, not “slut”, which is how it was often interpreted. Others took issue with the content. It was real. Really real. Like sometimes sexy-noises-you-definitely-gotta-listen-with-the-headphones-on real. Some executive reportedly called it “prurient”, which to be fair may not have been entirely wrong. It was a show about sex and intimacy but that wasn’t the point of it.
The show was really about finding connections and the ultimate acceptance no matter what package you landed on Earth in. It was, and is a pretty radical concept.
Undeterred, Kaitlin had paid her own way to the pricey conference in hopes of keeping the show alive (which in Public Radio= FUNDED) by gaining exposure on local stations or national shows. Latino USA had taken the bait previously and it proved helpful for credibility. Still, bigger enterprises like PRX loved it, but recognized that it was still a little too raunchy for comfort…But Kaitlin was persistent. Once, months later, during a visit to her infamous closet-radio-studio-den in Brookyln, she compared the process of trying to break into public radio and get that seal of approval (with blessings from the angels and Ira Glass himself) was akin to being locked out of one's home. If you’re desperate enough, you’ll keep trying schemes until you find that one unlocked window you can shimmy into.
Fast Forward. It’s nearly a year and a half later. Kaitlin and co-host, editor Mitra Kaboli are radiant and grinning at the season 1 launch party for The Heart. It’s the next iteration of Audio Smut. It's like it graduated college, got a job and became a boss-ass bitch. Still with a magical touch of impishness, it’s less smut and more …grown'n'sexy. The first episode says it all. Even old things can be new, and the first of anything is always predicated by an anxiety— however subtle-- that this could be a failure or a grand success...and best-case scenario, an epic love story.
I went down to New York for the launch party as a surprise. I got there late, and was turned away from the main event like many others. The lights were dim, the mood set. The space was packed with eager fans, seated cross-legged, lounging in the arms of another, crouched in corners huddled in anticipation. The stage lights came on and the manager kicked me out as the two young women began live em-ceeing a version of the premier episode. I could hear the crowd squealing with glee as I approached the door, dejected.
I went around the corner for a bourbon drink and caught up on some pieces I favorited on Twitter. But then, refusing to be locked out, I shimmied my way into the party. It was grand. Now sponsored by Babeland (10% off for listeners!) and a member of PRX’s hip new Radiotopia.fm, The Heart was beating. And true to Kaitlin’s assertion at the end of the premier episode (which you can hear in the link above), there was a kissing booth at the launch event. And no offense to totebags, but it was the best $5 bucks I ever spent to support public radio.
