MATHIEU WILLIAM SCHUESTER
AGE: 31
BIRTHDAY: April 30th, 1993
RELATION: Full sibling
TYPE: Solo
GENDER: Cis man
PRONOUNS: He/Him
ORIENTATION(S): Bisexual
FACE CLAIM: Mike Faist
JOB/SCHOOL
GRADE: Second year master’s student
MAJOR: Neuropsychology
JOB: GA for PSU’s psychology undergrad program
ABOUT
(eating disorders cw, specifically restrictive behaviors)
It could’ve been easily predicted that Will Schuester would be thrilled at the idea of his kids following his lead, and Mathieu was never one to disappoint. In fact, the very fear of disappointment has been his biggest motivating factor for pretty much every decision he’s made since he was old enough to understand the concept. The majority of lessons he learned from his father weren’t about how to navigate the world, at least not in a way that translated well to his brain. Instead, his role in the family seemed to become hyperfocused on the performing arts when it was clear that Mathieu did in fact have a natural talent. With that talent being finely tuned under his dad’s training, did it really matter that his heart was never in it? Growing up, it didn’t seem like it.
The constantly moving nature of his family was exhausting. Mathieu learned to play the part well in front of the cameras, but he much preferred when he could find an excuse to sneak away on his own. He enjoyed peace and quiet, watching reruns of Jeopardy! during breaks at his dad’s studio and finding excuses to do his English homework on set. Mathieu has always been smart, but his performance abilities seemed to be the bigger point of discussion over his academic excellence when anyone outside of his family was concerned.
Mathieu maintains that his problems with food (he’s always avoided calling it what it is: an eating disorder) hadn’t been purposeful in the beginning. It had all started early in his adolescence. Running late for breakfast, voice lessons that ran into dinnertime. But the more excuses he found to avoid meals, the faster he slid down a very slippery slope. Growing up surrounded by the media and underneath his parents’ watchful eyes, it was very rare for Mathieu to feel like he had any sort of control. When he did realize that his body and hunger were two things he had a say in, he knew he had to keep it secret. There were a few forum posts online, few and far between, that would catch sight of him in the background of scenes and question if he was alright. But for the most part, Matheiu became an expert at lying. To his family, to his friends, and to himself every time he was sure that he was still in control.
When he finished high school and was admitted to PSU’s musical theatre program, it was naturally a cause for celebration. For the show, it was a great boost to the ratings, the ultimate testament to just how grand someone could become under Will’s tutelage. For Mathieu, it was an escape. Not that he would ever say that out loud, of course. He did miss his family once he was on campus, but it was also the first time he ever felt like he could really breathe. As expected, he did well in his program, but he also took the opportunity to take classes outside of his major as well. Science, language, humanities, literature – he loved every second of it. It also became apparent that while he had the training and talent (if not the proper nourishment) to keep up with his classmates, he was missing something that they had in abundance: a passion for the performing arts. Mathieu had spent so long assuming that this was the only option for him, that being good at something equated to it being your entire life. He had begun to think of a life outside of the arts, but ultimately it wasn’t his choice to leave the field. No, it all came to a crashing halt when he passed out during a dance lesson in his junior year, his body finally giving in after over a decade of self-abuse.
He tries not to think too much about the aftermath. Mathieu isn’t proud of how he reacted to being forced to accept what he’d done to himself. Still, that didn’t come close to the shame he felt when his family was made aware of the situation. A lifetime spent desperately trying not to disappoint, immediately wasted. Matheiu physically could not handle treatment and school at the same time, so he was forced to drop out and begrudgingly move back home, despite the increase in his parents looming over his shoulder.
Two years later, Mathieu returned to PSU, just not to their musical theatre program. His recovery has never been the most stable, but he knew that going back to the performing arts would be the worst possible choice. Instead he restarted his degree from scratch, focusing on psychology. He hadn’t realized he could love his major so much until then. He graduated with his bachelor’s degree, and then followed it up soon after by getting accepted into PSU’s neuropsychology master’s program. His ultimate goal is to earn a doctorate, but Mathieu is trying to follow his therapist’s advice and focus on one achievement at a time. He’s now in his second year of the program. Oftentimes, it feels like he’s walking a tightrope, still trying to keep from upsetting his family even more while also knowing how dangerous that can be. Some days are better than others, but he really is trying.
