my story: dating a con artist and a sociopath
its a long story but its worth the read i promise! we met and it was great i thought he was so sweet and sensitive you know he'd paint my nails and be super sweet like peel my oranges and say the sweetest things to me but then one night he was really different he wouldnt let me touch him when we were laying in bed to sleep, and i talk in my sleep sometimes and i guess i was that night cause i woke up to him screaming at me. so i cried myself back to sleep and he didnt care. but thats not even close to what else he did.... i forgot to mention this was our 1 week mark of MOVING IN TOGETHER so all his stuff was at my place cause he lost his apartment cause he lost his job- i was paying for literally everything ! i think he got like 800 bucks one time for some reason and he gave me 100, which sounds alright but i was spending hundreds and getting into almost 2 thousand...so 100 aint gunna cut it b. anyways he spent the rest on heroin and crack. he claimed to be recovered when we met, but that was a lie i guess. so anyways, i woke that morning and he wasnt next to me, so i thought maybe he was out getting his methadone, and when he moved in a gave him a set of keys, and i didnt see them where he usually has them so i was like okay hes just out (he also does not have a cell. so theres literally no way to contact him at anytime for anything no matter the severity) so without leaving my room im on my computer, watching tv, maybe falling asleep again for an hour....but then i check the time and its 3pm. 2 hours past since i woke up, so i thought yknow maybe hes doing something and he cant let me know (even tho everyone has a goddamn phone he could use but whatever) but then i go out into the living room where all his stuff was in big plastic bags. ALL OF IT was gone. like there was nothing left except his towel, and one SLIPPER. so i start yknow freaking out making up all these excuses for him, trying to rationalize everything...like maybe he was mad at me and went to stay in a hotel or something and got money from his parents or maybe he made some deal with his drug dealer where for all his stuff (it was all JUNK) he would give him some drugs and he was so desperate he did it. even though if he asked me i would have given him money to get high. (BTW i should mention im 19 and hes 31, before you judge us and call him a creep or anything just know im extremely mature for my age, and ive always datef older men, and im way past puberty so hush.) so im crying and calling my mom and freaking out. But then, it gets even worse. I go downstairs, i live above my branch of bank, to go take out some cash so i can buy some drugs of my own lol...but when i go to take money out, (i had maybe 2thousand minus 1300 for rent) it says my limit for the day has been maxed. my limit is 700 dollars. I go on my own and check my online banking, and "someone" had withdrawn 700 dollars from my account, that day, at around 10am. i DID NOT want to believe it was him. but when he didnt come home that day, i had zero doubt anymore. i tried to get my money back from the bank, but they said becase i had given him my pin, (stupid of me but it was convenient and i trusted him) they cant do anything about it.......And i WISH that was all i had to say about this fuck. BUT bout a week later i get an email from him, saying that he's in montreal ( we are from ontario) and he's homeless and cold and hungry and just wants to come home but has no money for a bus ticket. and i know it was stupid, and its incredibly embarrassing to admit this, but i sent him 90 dollars. Enough for some food and the bus ticket. i didnt let him completely off the hook, i was virtually yelling at him and he kept saying we willl talk when i get back, tonight in 10 hours. So okay. he says he will call me from a pay phone when he gets into toronto, and ifs im asleep because of how late it is, he will come to my house (THIS IS IMPORTANT SO REMEMBER THIS PART....->) i ask him if he still has the keys he had taken with him. he said NO i lost them.....This was something i needed to know because my mom had suggested i had my looks changed, and i was thinking about it but when he told me that i didnt think i had to because he lost them. So....the time hes supposed to be in rolls around....no call. another hour. no call. ANOTHER HOUR. no call. i fall asleep before its for sure not happening and that he took my money and did not buy a ticket. i was beginning to even doubt he was in montreal. so when i wake up and i see i did not receive any phone calls, and obviously he did not show up here, i sent him an email saying that i was done with him he was just using me etc etc....... a few weeks later, i get an email from him. he's saying that hes coming into toronto the next day at 230pm and would i meet him at the train station. Initially, i had said yes. Only for the purpose of yelling at him for some closure. But when the next day rolled around and it was time i was supposed to get on the bus to go downtown, i backed out and realized i really didnt want to. i just wanted to be done. because i knew he was only trying to get a place to stay or some more money or hell even sex out of me by manipulating me. and i was scared that if i did go see him, somehow he would preform some kind of mind control on me and he would end up staying with me again (i had changed my pin mind you) but i wasnt about to risk any of that so i emailed him saying i was coming anymore. and he FLIPPED OUT. he started guilting me, saying how im not there for him, im a liar for ditching him, im supposed to have loved him, just a load of BULLSHIT. i basically tell him to fuck off, and delete our emails. but then, oh boy...about 30 minutes later, my buzzer goes off. so i go see who it is, and guess who? its him. im pissed off now, how dare he just show up. i dont let him go inside my unit, but instead we sit on a balcony thats shared for all the tenants. he basically just starts asking me why i dont love him, why i didnt want to se go see him, and he asks "ARE WE REALLY DONE? LIKE FOR GOOD AND FOREVER BECAUSE IF YOU SAY YES...I'LL LEAVE AND WONT BOHER YOU." so alls i do is say "yes we're done" and he gets up and leaves, i think he said something stupid and manipulative. i didnt actually let him walk through the building with him lol i had him use the fire escape stairs. so i think thats that, we're done and i dont have to deal with his shit anymore. BUT THEN. i get an email 45 mins later, FROM HIM. saying that he knows im done but he could just offer some of the money he would be cashing from some sort of government cheque, maybe welfare but i dont know. and hell i mean money is money, ill meet you. i wasnt that sold that he was really going to pay me a cent, but i had to go downtown in an hour anyways for an appointment. So i leave to meet him. i wait at the meeting place for 20 minutes before i leave because im annoyed and know hes not coming, an i didnt want to be late for my appointment. When i get home im walking up the stairs, and i feel a strange sort of feeling like he might be in my apartment. when i go down the hallway to my unit, i see that my door is slightly ajar. This happens when you dont close it hard enough, and it doesnt click. when i left 2 hours ago, i heard it click. because i made sure it did incase he got let in my someone else, so he couldnt enter my unit. i walk in very slowly, and then make a loud noise. i look in all the rooms, and enter my bedroom last. When i left, i had left my macbook pro on my bed. but it was not there, and neither the charger. i knew that he still had keys, and only told me to go meet him so he knew i would not be home and have an opportunity to rob me, yet again. There were several red flags prior to this, 1- him not having any luggage when he supposably was coming from a bus trip from montreal. and i doubt he just got rid of everything, because that was literally all he had. 2- he claimed to be using a strangers phone or internet cafe on the odd time, when he would email me. that day it was extremely common and had fast replied. even when i would take an hour or more to respond he replied right away. how could he be using a strangers phone for that long or at the internet cafe because it maxes out, and he is not an internet type person so he would be doing nothing but emailing or staring at the screen. so i believed he had someone with him, possibly a new girl to use. 3- he was saying things that made no sense, like how he got welfare in montreal as well as in ontario, when that simply just does not happen as you have to apply for it when youre in a new province. but while you are in a different province you will continue to get your original welfare (like if youre visiting ) unless you make it known you are moving for good. But you simply cannot double up. Upon discovering my computer stolen, i immediately go to change all my passwords, because i was logged in to everything. when i attempt to log into facebook is says the warning it sends you when you have had a photo reported and it had been deleted for containing nudity. i did not upload any nude photos. but apparently, he did. of ME. this caused my account to be post blocked for 2 weeks. luckily, i could still change my password. But how disgusting is that? not only do you have to steal my 3000 dollar laptop. but you make an effort to SPITE ME. the robberies were simply to obtain financial gain. this was to hurt me. and since then, i have had my locks changed.
so lets add up how much he cost me.
living expenses (food, drugs, transportation, entertainment) : 1100
stolen money :700
sent money:90
replacement laptop:3000
lock change: 330
GRAND TOTAL OF........5220.
The worst part about all of this is it can happen to anyone. You think you can trust someone because they have given you no reason not to, and unless you want to be the type of person that jus doesnt trust anyone at all ever, and you end up living a lonely, empty life because you are unable to let people in or be vulnerable in situations where i believe you need to be to an extent to fall in love with someone or have very close intimate relationship, then maybe this sort of thing wouldnt happen to you. But i dont want to be that person, so the only precautions you can really take are being extremely careful who you give your pin to, unless its like your mom or dad i would just suggest not to unless its an emergency situation. Avoid moving in with someone too soon, before you really know who the person is. and in a case like mine where they have no where to stay, its complicated, but just do your best to keep yourself safe. Like not giving them a key if theyre only going to be staying until they get themselves sorted out again. But in the end, some people are just snakes. and their greed controls what they do.
so yeah, that is my story of dating a con artist / sociopath. but not even the sexy ted bundy kind..
