For those of you who have a controlling parent that drives you crazy
Controlling parents are basically insecure. They use power as a means of manipulating their children. They are also immature as they view parenting as upmanship and a source of powerplay with their children.
Controlling parents, like their authoritarian counterparts, believe that their children are their appendages, not individuals with their own desires and wants. Of course, children of controlling parents develop low self-esteem and often becoming risk aversive. They also believe that they are powerless and personas non gratas.
Personally, the kind of failure that’s the hardest for me to accept is seeing the disappointment on my parents’ face(s). After trying to tick all your boxes, i can’t believe you still have so many expectations of me and i can never reach the level of ‘perfection’ expected of me. I have no control over their emotions and I wish they could just love me for who I am. The actual reason why I left to study overseas at 18 was because the environment back home is way too restrictive and controlling for me to ever be able to find out who I am. I am psychologically damaged, confused about my personality and identity, and so ridden with anxiety that its hard for me to get a proper sleep at night; and part of the reason why, is because my mom’s own anxiety has damaged and restricted me.
Parents have the responsibility to not drag their children into the emotional roller coasters that they themselves may face. Often times, the children are equally helpless and unable to voice their misery. Don’t let your own ego take over you by failing to realize the damage you’re inflicting onto your children by reining control over every aspect of their lives, don’t ruin their future by dragging them into a picture they don’t want to be in. THEY WILL NOT BE HAPPY, and will be confused as to whether your voice or theirs is in-charge of their life, and this is dangerous because when and should anything happen to you one day (I pray my hardest this never happens), they will end up losing a part of themselves in the process.