i remember being a child, as early as five or six, wanting to be like the boys. cut my hair short and play soccer or basketball or whatever we had that day in gym class. i remember praying to a god i didn't understand yet that i would wake up with a penis and each morning waking up as disappointed as last time. i remember staring into the mens department while forced to dress shop for my mother's wedding. i remember being trans from a very young age. i came out the first time at twelve, technically. my best friend moved away and when we spoke online, i told her i wanted to be a boy. she called my dylan from that day on, until we lost contact. no one else knew. i came out again in my sophomore year of high school after getting out of a restricting relationship, and used the name aether. i pulled the closet doors shut on myself when he wanted me back. i came out as nonbinary six months before coming out once and for all- i went by danny, or sometimes dane. i shaved my head when i couldn't afford a haircut. ive always known who i am- i was never a woman. nothing will ever change that.
