#trans memories

[makitstop]

random funny trans story

So when i was way younger (i want to say fifth grade) i was talking with a freind of mine on the bus, and for some reason, me being a guy came up

then i just hear a random person in the back of the bus who was listening to our conversation shout “WAIT, YOU’RE A GUY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL”

now this was before i even knew what trans people were, and i just remember my mind wandering back to that moment occasionally for the rest of the week, and me just going “Huh, that’s neat that they thought i was a girl, i wonder what that’s like”

even if i diddn’t realize it then, i think that was my “egg cracking” moment, or whatever that meme is

[nerves-nebula]

one particularly Trans of Gender type memory I have is liking feminine outfits/clothing, but feeling horrible in them because of how people would react. As in: People would point out my Girl-ness and compliment me in Girl Ways and talk about me being a little lady and shit like that which just irritated me to no end.

And It was confusing cuz it was never like “I don’t wanna wear a dress!!” it was just “People keep commenting on me being a girl in a dress whenever I wear dresses and that makes me feel [UNKNOWN DESPAIR]” which was eventually verbalized as “I don’t wanna wear a dress!!” which I then stopped even bothering to say cuz it was clear my parents did not give a shit what I wanted.

Feminine/effeminate men were my fuckin idols, which were mostly cartoon villains! But still! We used to watch the lion king all the time as a kid and I wanted to BE Scar. I wanted to embody Scar. 

anyway that’s how Big Transgender lead to my love of villains

[wildeesque]

i remember being a child, as early as five or six, wanting to be like the boys. cut my hair short and play soccer or basketball or whatever we had that day in gym class. i remember praying to a god i didn't understand yet that i would wake up with a penis and each morning waking up as disappointed as last time. i remember staring into the mens department while forced to dress shop for my mother's wedding. i remember being trans from a very young age. i came out the first time at twelve, technically. my best friend moved away and when we spoke online, i told her i wanted to be a boy. she called my dylan from that day on, until we lost contact. no one else knew. i came out again in my sophomore year of high school after getting out of a restricting relationship, and used the name aether. i pulled the closet doors shut on myself when he wanted me back. i came out as nonbinary six months before coming out once and for all- i went by danny, or sometimes dane. i shaved my head when i couldn't afford a haircut. ive always known who i am- i was never a woman. nothing will ever change that.

[spoopywitchboy]

I'd just like to give a little shout-out to the vest with teddy bears all over it that toddler me insisted on wearing for like six months straight because it was probably the earliest sign of me being trans and I love it.

[aluminiumviynl]

Today i remembered what is now my oldest trans memory. When i was rather young i think 6 years old in first grade we did a performance and one of the songa we sang was called im growing up i remember not liking the song and it was the only song i didnt sing, one of the lyrics was when i grow up ill be a man and at the time for an at the time unknown reason i didnt want to sing it, so i guess ive been trans for a long time

[goregrind-grl]

Another yung trans gorl memory (this was like 5 years ago I think)

I was in algebra, and I forget how it even came up, but everyone started talking about this trans girl who use to go to the school who transitioned after she graduated, and how she “still dated girls”, and how everyone thought that was the weirdest thing. I was just thinking hey I should talk to her and get advice, and shit. I wrote her name down, and I looked her up on Facebook, and she was super nice telling me how she got hormones/ tips on coming out/ general trans big sister type stuff This was around the time that my family was planning on moving, and my plan then was to come out when I got to Florida (which I mean eventually happened). I lost touch with her bc she deleted her Facebook I think. It would be really cool to get back in contact with her, and be like yoo what up. Anyway I hope she’s doin okay. (Her name was Erica, so if there’s an Erica reading this who lives or lived in Virginia, and remembers talking to a yung trans girl on Facebook like 5 years ago hmu!!!)