#ptsdblog

[waitihaveptsd]

I’m 4 years old

my brother is born.

i dont remember mom being pregnant.

his name is aaron.

he has downs.

hes fucking adorable.

[mrsnicolewilson-blog]

I wasn’t sure why I started this blog. But now I realize that I’ve been basically documenting my life with my husband. He is a combat veteran with ptsd. This is our life together; our struggles, our happiness, our depression, our addictions, our mistakes, our hate and our love. I did not know what it ment when I said I do. But now I’m starting to see that it was much more than living with my boyfriend. It was sharing his life with him and everything in it, for better or worse, forever.

We do not have a typical marriage. When we fight it’s not a normal fight that we can talk out. Our fights reach the point of war between eachother; a rage neither of us knew we had. It does no good to involve others or people who do not understand. He doesn’t work the same as others. Sometimes I feel that it isn’t fair, and I selfishly resent him for it. But as much hate as I’ve felt toward him, it is equal to my love for him. I believe his love is unconditional, and that is something I will never find in another man.

Maybe I will never fully understand him. But everyday I try. I don’t know what happened to him in Iraq. I only know bits and pieces. But I won’t give up on him. I love him.