Hi I saw your post about the whole rape situation and I admire how you handle that persons response first of all, secondly I love pull over, I too have survived abuse , and it messes you up in unimaginable ways , that lead you to all sorts of things and reading was one of the more positive ones , and in a way it may sound sick but pull over has helped??? , but all in all keep doing you !!
hi angel 🥹🫶
(longish response below:)
first of all thank you so much for this message. it seriously means the world to me. i’m really sorry you’ve had to go through abuse too, and i just want to say i hope you’re doing okay. i’m sending you love and softness and every good thing always 💜
also, ty for saying that about Pull Over. it’s wild how something so personal and painful can connect people in ways i never expected. and i totally get what you mean- it’s not sick at all, promise. trauma does weird things, and sometimes finding a story that sits in that ache with you helps. it makes you feel seen.
that said- i have so much grace for people who can’t read material like that. i would never judge someone for needing space or distance from that kind of content. everyone copes differently. everyone’s timeline and threshold is valid. i used to be that way too! it took me a long time to get to a place where i could write this stuff without falling apart. but writing/reading helped me unpack so much, in ways nothing else could.
that’s part of why i wrote Daddy Kookie too (totally different kind of trauma, but still rooted in something real). not everything will resonate with everyone, and that’s okay. that’s the whole point- we’re all trying to figure it out in our own way 🥹
thank you again for being here and for being open and vulnerable with me. i’m really proud of you. and i’m so glad we’re connected 🫶 i’m rooting for you always. ily!!
please read with care. this is important and personal.
TW: mentions of sexual assault, trauma, and noncon content in fiction
someone dm’d me this after reading Pull Over:
“sorry but ur literally writing about rape ?? and romaticizing it ?? theres a difference between yandere and this, this is absolutely disgusting and has nothing to do with dark romance or being yandere, ur clearly just writing about rape and making it seem like what hes doing is okay bc he loves her bla bla..
shes asleep or says stop and cries the whole time its happening, she clearly doesnt like it at all (her being wet doesnt mean she likes it, u get wet by being stimulated even if u dont like it) and people who actually like to read this and find this hot should seriously consider getting help!
… rape is a serious problem thats not being punished enough and it happens to so many people, writing about this is absolutely not okay..
also i know i dont need to read it, i read the first part and was absolutely stunned (not in a good way) and just jumped through the second and i have had enough….
CONSENT IS IMPORTANT EVEN IN BOOKS.”
and here’s my response, for anyone who might feel the same or be confused or hurt by the work i share:
i hear you. i really do. and i’m so sorry that my story hurt you. that was never the goal, and it breaks my heart that it made you feel sick or unsafe. i’m sorry if that’s what happened here.
for me, reading and writing have always been therapeutic. i’ve gone through a lot of things that i’ve never really spoken about publicly. things i still don’t fully have words for. but i’ve survived abuse. and sometimes that trauma slips in. not because i want to glorify it. not because i think it’s sexy. not because i want people to think “this is okay if you love someone.”
but because writing lets me process the parts of myself that still feel broken. it’s a weird, messy, complicated thing. but it’s never about saying harm is love. it’s never about saying lack of consent is sexy. it’s just me working through the trauma in a way that feels safe to me.
i 100% agree with you that consent matters. in life, in sex, in relationships, and even in fiction. and you’re right- arousal doesn’t equal desire. just because a character’s body reacts doesn’t mean they’re okay. i know that. i lived that. and it’s something i’ll always believe needs to be said loud and clear. and it’s important to say that, which maybe i didn’t do enough. i’ll take that to heart, i promise.
that being said- this story is fiction. it’s not a manual. it’s not meant to be a fantasy for everyone. it’s messy, it’s dark, and yes- it can absolutely be upsetting. sometimes that’s the point. but i’m not out here trying to glamorize harm. if anything, i’m trying to understand it, process it, survive it.
i’m really sorry this story felt like romanticizing something horrible. that’s not what i wanted, even if that’s how it came across. and if i ever post about these kinds of things again, i’ll be more mindful about tone, disclaimers, and clarity.
if you’ve ever been harmed like this, or even triggered just by reading something that reminded you of it- please know you are not alone. and please, if you need support, reach out to someone.
i’m including some hotlines and resources below for anyone who needs them:
♡ RAINN (US, all genders): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or rainn.org
♡ National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-7233 | text: BEGIN to 88788 or thehotline.org
♡ Trans Lifeline (US/Canada): 877-565-8860
♡ Men’s Trauma Support: 1in6.org offers help for male survivors
♡ LGBTQ+ Support: thetrevorproject.org or call 1-866-488-7386
i’m always open to respectful feedback (especially when it comes from a place of wanting better for survivors). i’m always open to learning. i don’t expect everyone to like my writing. sometimes i don’t like it. but it’s how i make sense of the stuff that was done to me. and i hope some of the stories i write will help others feel less alone, too.
to the person who dm’d me: again, i’m sorry. not just for the story hurting you, but for whatever made you know so deeply what pain like that looks like. i hope you’re taking care of yourself.
to everyone: thanks for reading this far. and truly- take care of yourself. always. 🫶
