#pun's text posts

[the-punforgiven]

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

[the-punforgiven]

Strip poker at the knights order sucks ass this shit takes forever and we're running out of space on the table

Guy next to me took off one besagew and you can't even see their face but you can feel their smug-ass grin beneath it

[the-punforgiven]

You say something really weird to the headless horseman and in response he just stares at you fully maintaining eye contact as he grabs a second pumpkin out of one of his saddlebags and carves a confused/mildly offended face onto it and then replaces the first pumpkin head that's been staring at you the whole time with it

[the-punforgiven]

god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you

[the-punforgiven]

I do love the thought of body swap stories that highlight when characters have like, chronic pain or other bodily issues

Like two characters swap bodies and one immediately turns to the other and is just like "You really need glasses, man", and the other one's just like "Holy shit I can see"

[the-punforgiven]

Honestly the fact that you even can kill Soulsborne bosses at all is funny to me. Like, nice job ripping holes in spacetime and channeling deep-space cosmic radiation into a beam attack, unfortunately for you however I have uhhhhhhhh sharp piece of metal

[the-punforgiven]

[the-punforgiven]

Show up at work like hi boss sorry I'm late my I was helping my mother track down one specific 90s dungeon crawler for the purposes of obtaining a muffin recipe the developer hid in the files