Twinsies
Fandom: The Witcher Punk!AU (Future) Pairing: Punk!Jaskier x Reader / Punk!Valdryn / Punk!Gerennefer Word Count: 1445 Rating: T Taglist: @ficsandcatsandficsandcats @nevadawolfe @magic-multicolored-miracle @coffee-and-stories @whatevermonkey
a/n: A little future punk!au drabble ft. Sam & Ciri that I’ve had in my head for a bit now. Based off of the time both Kat & I unknowingly pinned the same shirt to both Jaskier & Valdo’s sections of our shared pinterest board. Enjoy!
“Are they here yet?” Jaskier asked for the third time, and you forced yourself to take a deep calming breath, your phone buzzing, saving you from the urge to throttle your husband.
“Yen and Geralt just got here,” you announced, reading Yennefer’s text.
“It’s not them I’m worried about,” Jask exclaimed, pacing. “Their kid’s also in the play, so of course they’ll be here on time. It’s Aev and Valdo I’m worried about,” he ground out. “That man is always late and I want to make sure we get the best seats in the house to see Sam!”
“Jaskier, calm down,” you murmured, placing your hand on his arm to stop his pacing. “They haven’t even opened the doors yet. Besides, Aevryn and Valdo only flew in a couple hours ago, they’re probably jet-lagged.”
“That’s no excuse for them to be late to their niece’s first theatrical production!” Jaskier cried dramatically, and you couldn’t help the grin that tugged at your lips as you grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to look at you.
“They’re going to be here on time,” you assured him, though he looked ready to argue. “And do you want to know how I know that?” Jaskier slowly closed his mouth, peering at you with interest.
“Because I told Valdo to be here a half hour before they actually had to be here,” you explained. “Which means…”
“They’ll be here on time,” Jaskier finished and shook his head ruefully. “Okay, colour me impressed,” he said, pulling you in for a quick kiss.
“And speak of the devil,” he muttered, glancing past you as he spotted Valdo’s black Tesla whipping into the parking lot.
Soon Geralt and Yennefer met you by the front doors and the four of you waited for the last two members of your party.
“Hey, I hope we’re not late,” Aevryn exclaimed apologetically as you enveloped her in a hug. “It took V forever to decide what to wear.”
“Oh, no, you’re right on time,” you assured her (a little smugly) before turning to greet her husband.
“Oh.”
You froze as Valdo stepped up behind Aev and your eyes fell to his shirt — dark blue with a muted floral print; sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and the top several buttons undone to show off a glimpse of his smooth chest, decorated by his usual layers of necklaces.
“[Y/N], is something wrong?” he asked, a note of worry in his voice as you quickly brought your hand to your mouth to cover your grin.
That was when Jaskier turned from his conversation with Geralt and his blue eyes locked on Valdo. “Oh no. Oh nonononono,” he muttered in disbelief.
Aevryn broke her composure at the same time you could no longer hold back your own laughter; the other woman hanging off your shoulder, shaking with mirth at the sight of the two men wearing the. exact. same. shirt.
“You have to change!” Jaskier cried, scandalized, gesturing to Valdo’s chest.
“Why do I have to change?” Valdo demanded, equally scandalized. “Why don’t you?”
“Because I was here first!”
“Well, I wear it better!”
“Nobody is going home to change,” you interjected sternly — the effect somewhat ruined as you wiped away the amused tears from the corners of your eyes from laughing so hard. “Besides, there’s not enough time.”
Jaskier glanced at the watch at his wrist before scowling, knowing you were right.
“Now now gentlemen, you both look lovely,” Yennefer remarked; her dark painted lips carefully neutral, though a spark of amusement danced in her violet eyes as she studied Jaskier and Valdo’s sour expressions. “It will be dark in the auditorium. Just don’t sit next to each other and no one will even notice.”
You shared a dubious look with Aevryn, and even Geralt smirked briefly, but it was time for the doors to open and you were eager to find your seats.
True to Yennefer’s suggestion, Jaskier sat as far as possible from Valdo, who didn’t seem to mind, settling in the seat at the end of the row next to Aevryn. Throwing his arm around her shoulders he leaned in to whisper something in her ear, his dark emerald gaze flicking to Jaskier, and Aev giggled, whispering something back as she stroked the side of his face fondly.
By Valdo’s smug smile you could only guess she was assuring her husband that he did indeed wear the ensemble better than Jaskier, as you had had to assure your own husband the same thing just moments earlier.
However when the lights dimmed and your daughter took the stage with Ciri, all other thoughts fell away.
——
After the show the six of you milled about the atrium with the other parents, waiting for the kids to come out for photos.
Jaskier was careful to keep his distance from Valdo, but you noticed more than a few curious stares from the other adults —whether because of the shirt or because they recognized either one or both of the men, you had no idea.
Yennefer disappeared into the crowd to go greet her friend Triss while Jaskier went to stand next to Geralt.
“Can you believe it?” he grumbled under his breath, his eyes trained on Valdo, who was currently speaking with [Y/N], his arm looped around Aevryn’s waist. “What are the odds, hmm?”
“It’s not like he did it on purpose,” Geralt pointed out, following Jaskier’s gaze. “He seemed just as surprised as you.”
“Well sure… I suppose,” Jaskier spluttered, frowning indignantly. “It’s just… you think I look better in it, don’t you?”
Geralt grunted noncommittally, not really wanting to get drawn into it.
“Geralt?”
“Perhaps you should start checking with Aev before you go out to make sure you and Valdo don’t match.” The wolfish grin on his friend’s face nearly had Jaskier’s eyes bulging out of his head; his mouth gaping open.
He expression only soured further as Valdo approached, oblivious to the betrayal that had just occurred.
“I still can’t get over how absolutely wonderful the girls were tonight!” he exclaimed, practically beaming, all traces of smug superiority gone. “I mean, talk about thespian perfection! They both deserve Tony’s for that performance.”
You couldn’t help but smile fondly at Valdo’s earnest praise of your daughter and niece, and you threw a meaningful look at Jaskier, who seemed to calm somewhat, though he was subtly edging away from Valdo.
“Daddy!”
Sam’s gleeful cry cut through the low murmur of the milling crowd as she came running over, Ciri not far behind, to nearly bowl over Jaskier with a tight hug.
“What did you think? Did you like it? Did I do good?” Sam asked in quick succession; one question on top of the others.
“We were just talking about how wonderful you and Ciri both did, Mitka,” Jaskier exclaimed proudly, squeezing her back.
“Really?” Sam asked, glancing around at the other adults. That’s when she noticed, her gaze stopping on her uncle Valdo before sharply swinging back to her dad.
“Oh my God, you guys are twinsies! Did you plan that on purpose?” she squealed, her and Ciri breaking into an unstoppable fit of laughter.
“Aunt Aevryn, you have to get a picture of this!” Sam cried, taking Valdo’s hand and pulling him over to stand next to her and Jaskier.
Both men glanced at each other uncomfortably over the young girl’s head, grimacing before plastering strained grins on their faces as Aev, giggling herself, snapped a photo with her phone.
“Should this go on the band’s Insta?” she teased, sticking out her tongue at Jask when he opened his mouth to argue. “Y’know,” she said instead, crouching down to show Sam the photo for approval. “This just goes to show what good taste they both have, because it’s not the only thing they were able to agree on tonight,” she remarked, glancing up to direct a pointed look at her husband and her best friend, a soft smile on her face.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Sam asked.
“That they’re both really proud of you,” she whispered conspiratorially, loud enough for both men to overhear and at her words Jaskier and Valdo shared a rueful grin before moving to join the rest of you.
Bless Aev, you thought as she stood and Sam came over to throw her arms around you next. She always did know the exact right thing to say to ultimately smooth over the former rivalry between her husband and yours; to remind them they were on the same side now.
“Okay, now we need a group photo, with everyone!” Sam declared, and this time there were no objections.









