#punk!yennefer

[jozstanko-art]

Punk!Yen from mine & @ficsandcatsandficsandcats‘s punk!au

[unapologetic-and-aesthetic]

~ Punk!Yennefer~ The WItcher

requested by anon

Requests always welcome

[seanfalco]

Cabin in the Woods | Valdryn (punk!au)

Word Count: 1.4k Prompt: “Alone in a cabin in the woods and there are strange noises outside.” Requested by: Anonymous a/n: Gosh it’s been so long since I wrote Valdryn.  I missed themmmm.  Thank you for the request!

“Jesus V, look at this place,” Aev exclaimed, throwing her arms open wide as she circled herself, gaping up at the massive -- if you could even call it a cabin -- cabin.

“You like it?” he asked, a pleased grin crossing his face as he followed her in, carrying their luggage.

“It’s amazing!” she exclaimed with a laugh, practically running up the stairs to the loft overhead.

“Only the best for you, dove,” Valdo replied, leaving their suitcases by the door to ascend the stairs after his wife, finding her already sprawled out on the massive bed, a content smile on her face, her messy curls disheveled around her head like a halo.

“It’s too perfect, I might never want to leave,” she teased as Valdo crawled across the thick comforter to her, caging her in with his arms as he leaned over her for a kiss, his hands beginning to wander.

“Mmm me either,” he admitted, grinning against her lips, kissing her languidly before pulling back.

“Why don’t you get settled in while I get a fire going and start on dinner,” Valdo suggested, much to his wife’s dismay, judging by the soft whine that left her lips, followed by an adorable pout.  “Hush now,” Valdo chuckled, giving her one more peck to the lips, “we’ll have all night for that, pet.”

His words seemed to mollify Aevryn and she bounced off the bed after him to retrieve their luggage and begin unpacking.

——

After dinner Aev stood at the window watching the sun sink below the horizon; the dark silhouette of the mountains backlit by the fading pinks and oranges of the setting sun, giving way to the inky star speckled blackness above.

“Gosh this place is beautiful,” she mused, accepting the glass of wine Valdo held out to her and leaning into his side as he came to join her.

“I feel like I’m in Twilight,” she joked, getting a laugh from her husband.

“Well, we’re not far from Forks,” Valdo pointed out, taking a sip from his glass.

“Team Jacob, all the way,” Aev said as Valdo rolled his eyes.

“And here I thought you had better taste, sweetling,” Valdo quipped with a cheeky grin.  “Team Edward, clearly.”

Aev laughed as she took Valdo’s hand, pulling him back to the couch.  “Maybe now that R.Pattz looks like that,” she mused as Valdo plopped down and she crawled into his lap.  “Now, where were we earlier?” she asked, slipping her arms over his shoulders.

“My, my, needy aren’t we, darling?” he asked, setting his glass next to Aev’s lest he end up with wine on him as her mouth sought his neck.

“I thought that’s why we came out here in the first place, V,” she replied, kissing back up along his jawline to his ear.  “What’s a secluded romantic getaway without the sex?” she teased, bringing a soft groan to her husband’s lips. 

“You mistake me, love,” he drawled with a grin, “I quite like it when you take charge.”

Just as he drew his arms around her, pulling her closer, he froze.  “Did you hear that?” he asked, jerking upright, his eyes going to the window. 

“Hear what?” Aev asked, only pausing long enough to pull the collar of his shirt open further, bending forward to plant her lips to his chest.

Frowning, Valdo grabbed her arms, stopping her, but this time she too heard the soft scratching along the window.

“Okay, I heard that,” she said, her head swinging toward the sound.

For a long moment neither of them moved, both straining their ears.  Just as they thought it might’ve just been the wind, beginning to once more relax, a soft thud could be heard from the roof.

“Valdo,” Aev exclaimed, a hint of fear in her voice and she slipped off his lap as he got up, reaching for the heavy brass fire poker near the hearth.

“Don’t, uh, don’t worry, darling,” Valdo replied, turning to give her a reassuring smile that only trembled slightly.  “I’m sure it’s probably only an animal of some sort.”

Aev looked doubtful, but followed Valdo to the window to peer out into the darkness, flipping on the outside lights.  “Do you see anything?” she asked, holding onto his arm as she scanned the lit area.

“No, I--” Valdo’s answer was cut off by a blood curdling shriek from the other side of the cabin and they both jumped, holding onto each other for dear life.

“What was that?” Aevryn cried, her heart ready to pound out of her chest.

Taking a fortifying breath, Valdo straightened in an attempt to soothe his wife’s fears.  “It could still be an animal.  I’ve heard rabbits have been known to scream when attacked, sounding chillingly… human,” he rationalized.

“You think that was a rabbit?” Aevryn asked skeptically.

Before Valdo could answer, the sound of pounding against the outside walls filled the air, coming from all sides at once and the pair shrieked again, Aev burying her face in Valdo’s chest.  

“Did the website happen to say this place was haunted when you booked the reservation or did you fail to mention that part?” she exclaimed as her husband’s grip on her tightened, eyes warily watching the windows and the pounding suddenly stopped.

“No, this place is new, only built within the year,” he countered weakly.

“Oh, great, so it’s more likely it’s some band of psycho killers wearing masks over their heads come to torment and kill us,” Aev muttered.

“That… that’s not going to happen,” Valdo exclaimed, trying to strengthen his voice.  “I’m going to call the police.”

As he reached for his phone movement at the dark window caught his eye and then suddenly a grinning face appeared, accompanied by a loud bang sending Valdo rearing back, he and Aevryn both screaming in surprise once more.

However, moments later, muffled laughter could be heard outside and Valdo’s alarm turned to a mix of annoyance and murderous rage as he realized it was only Jaskier.  Rounding of his wife, he gave her his most unamused glare.  

“And I suppose you knew nothing about this?” he asked as she fought back a relieved laugh.

“What, Gods no!” she cried, holding up her hands in innocence.  “I was just as scared as you were,” she exclaimed when he merely looked disbelieving.  “Feel my heart, V, it’s racing,” she continued, taking his hand to place over her chest and finally his scowl disappeared.

“Then how the hell did they know we were here?” he wondered, following his wife to the door to let their friends inside.

“I may have mentioned we were taking a trip,” Aev admitted as she tugged open the door, “but I didn’t tell them where.”

“I have my ways,” Yennefer intoned cryptically as she swanned inside, followed by Geralt and [y/n]; Jaskier bringing up the rear.

“You should’ve seen your faces!” he exclaimed gleefully, throwing his arms wide as soon as he passed the threshold.

“Yes, you definitely scared the piss outta us,” Aev replied wryly as she hugged him.  “But you do know what that means,” she replied meaningfully.

“Oh, I’d love to see you try to best me,” Jaskier laughed.  “Bring it on Swift!”

“Swift-Marx,” Valdo grumbled under his breath as he shut the door and joined the others in the living area.  “So much for our romantic getaway,” he said, wearing a long suffering, if somewhat disappointed look.  “Now it’s more of a… group slumber party,” he groaned as Aev patted his shoulder, his disappointment echoed less prominently in her sea green eyes.

“Don’t worry Valdo,” [y/n] cut in with a warm smile.  “We have our own cabins, so you’ll still have your privacy.”

At that Valdo’s expression brightened considerably, and he joined his wife by the armchair across from the sectional, pulling her into his lap.

“Well, that certainly changes thing,” he quipped, flashing Aevryn a wink, who grinned back shamelessly while Jaskier made a face.

“Who’s up for some cards?” [y/n] announced with a clap, in an attempt to segue to other topics, reaching for a deck of cards from her bag.

“Oh, by the way, Pankratz,” Valdo said suddenly, drawing Jaskier’s attention, his eyebrows climbing.  “We accept your challenge.”

At this Jaskier’s boyish grin returned as he stared down his best friend and her rather haughty husband.  “Perfect, but just so you know, it may be hard to get the jump on me with Geralt as my bodyguard this weekend,” he exclaimed.

“Oh no, I’m having no part of this,” Geralt grumbled, picking up the cards [y/n] had dealt him.  “You’re on your own, Jask.”

Jaskier’s confident grin faltered and he began to sweat in earnest at the alarmingly devious smile on Aev’s face, echoed smoothly on Valdo’s, and he swallowed, quickly picking up his cards. 

“Wh-who’s turn is it, hmm?”

---------------------------------

Tag list: @ficsandcatsandficsandcats​ @magic-multicolored-miracle​ @nevadawolfe​

[seanfalco]

Punk!AU Master List & Time Line

A collaborative Modern Witcher AU written by @ficsandcatsandficsandcats and myself, in which Jaskier, Geralt, & Yennefer are members of the punk band Vicious Mockery and the reader is a fan who ends up coming along with them on tour and begins dating Jaskier. Also features a couple of original characters and rival Valdo Marx.

*denotes smut

Drabbles/One Shots

Prequel/Past

Shut Up and Dance ( Valdryn )

A Good Look on You ( Valdryn )

*Choice Accomidations ( Valdryn )

Prequel 1 ( Jaskier x Indie!Reader )

Blonde ( Valdo x terrible decisions )

*Prequel 2 ( Jaskier x Indie!Reader )

Main Storyline

*Fingered in the Bus ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Mosh Pit ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Hugs ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

*Backstage ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

*Wearing his Shirt ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Piercings ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

*Mistakes Were Made ( Valdryn )

Twister ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Stay Away from Aevryn ft. Valdo ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

*More Mistakes Were Made ( Valdryn )

-> Road Trip takes place approx. here <-

*Distractions ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Too Drunk to be Driving ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

A Favour ( Valdryn )

Proposal ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Tattoos ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

D&D ( The Whole Gang )

Tour Bus Snuggles ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

A Puppy ( Valdryn / Platonic!Valdo x Reader )

Stupid Handsome Face ( Valdryn )

A Perfect Proposal ( Valdryn )

Fetch ( Valdryn )

Swift-Marx Wedding ( Valdryn )

*A Very Valdryn Honeymoon ( Valdryn )

Breakfast in Bed ( Valdryn )

Not Good Enough ( Valdryn )

Can’t Sleep ( Valdryn )

Disaster Wedding ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Staycation Honeymoon ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Double Date ( Jaskier x f!Reader / Valdryn )

First Fight ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Just Good Like That ( Valdryn )

Washing Hair ( Valdryn )

Cabin in the Woods ( The Whole Gang )

Movie Night ( The Whole Gang )

*In the Cemetary ( Valdryn )

Don’t What Me ( Valdryn )

Future [ft. Sam, Ciri, & Nic]

Tea & Nursery ft. Valdo ( Jaskier x f!Reader / Platonic!Jaskier & Valdo )

Girl’s Night ( The Punk!Girls )

Giving Birth ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

I found you in crying in the bathroom at the Grammys ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Sam’s First Birthday ( The Whole Gang )

First Word ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

The Kiss Monster ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

First Anniversary ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Future ft. Sam ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

Brunch ( The Whole Gang )

Introducing Ciri ( Geralt x Yennefer )

Ciri’s Room ( The Whole Gang )

Uncle Valdo ft. Sam ( Jaskier x f!Reader / Valdryn )

Twinsies ft. Sam & Ciri [ Jaskier x f!Reader / Valdryn )

Pre-teen Sam ( Jaskier x f!Reader )

It Was Always Him, Wasn’t It ( Valdryn )

Sweets ft. Pre-teen Sam & Nic ( Valdryn )

First Date ft. the Uncle Squad ( Sam x Nic )

Jealous ( Sam x Nic )

Promposal ( Sam x Nic )

Series

Road Trip (takes place after More Mistakes Were Made) - Completed

Part 1 — Coming Out of My Cage

Part 2 — Out Here in the Field

*Part 3 — It’s All Over Baby, But I’m Still Yours

Part 4 — But Where’s Your Heart

Part 5 — If You Need Anyone

Part 6 — Your Shockwave Whisper has Sealed Your Fate

Part 7 — It Was Not Your Fault, But Mine

Part 8 — Hold Out Your Hand

Part 9 — And We’ll All Float On Okay

Famous Last Words [ Valdryn / Platonic!Jaskier & Aevryn ] (Prequel) - Hiatus

Part I — I Can't Do Everything but I'd Do Anything For You

Part II — All I Do is Kiss You Through the Bars of a Rhyme

Part III — I Can't Do Anything Except Be in Love With You

Art

Punk!Jaskier

Punk!Yennefer

Punk!Aevryn (oc)

Punk!Geralt

Punk!Valdo

Masterpost

Picrew: Gang + 2nd Gen

Valdryn Commission - Varrix

Valdryn Commission - Soddingcloudgazer

Aev & Valdo Portrait Commission - witchesconstellation

Headcanons

General Punk!AU HCs

Punk!Jaskier & social media HC

Punk!Valdo HCs

Punk!Aevryn HCs

Aevryn Faceclaim

Aevryn n//sfw alphabet

Favourite down time activities

Vicious Mockery’s reaction to fanart/fic

Tour bus HCs

Does the gang smoke?

Keystone moments (to write)

Drinking HCs

Ultimate Ship Meme: Valdryn

updated: 8/29/2021

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Hey bro, I have not requested anything for a while, but here I come! Would you pretty please write me any scene you’ve been itching to write for punk!au? I miss it so lol

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Punk!Valdo x Punk!Aevryn, Punk!Jaskier x Reader, Punk!Geralt x Punk!Yennefer Word Count: 750 Rating: G Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak​ @whatevermonkey​ @mynamesoundslikesherlock​ @magic-multicolored-miracle a/n: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not this month… But maybe… Someday…xo

“You sure about this?”

Valdo huffed and rolled his eyes, lowering his sunglasses so the emerald eyes could more keenly pierce Jaskier with an incredulous look.

                “No, Pankratz,” he drawled sarcastically, “I’ve only been married to the woman for five years. I clearly know nothing about what she wants for her birthday.”

                Jaskier bit back a flurry of retorts at the calming touch of your hand on his arm.

                “Valdo?” you said sweetly.

                “Yes darling?” Valdo asked, eyes immediately tender and sincere with you.

                “You’re being a dick,” you answered, though not unkindly. He sighed and nodded, a slightly petulant look in his eyes.

                “It’s true. Apologies, Y/N, I have to admit that underneath my bravado there is a slight – very slight – twinge of uncertainty about this plan myself,” he confessed.

                “Well they’re coming now so better have another puppy up your sleeve if this goes awry,” Jaskier said as a black car rolled into view. After a quick glance at the now visibly anxious Valdo he gruffly added, “She’s going to love it.”

                Geralt walked out of the driver’s side with Yennefer and a blindfolded Aevryn getting out of the back. Yen helped guide Aevryn over. Valdo’s face lit up in a brilliant smile that you never got tired of seeing. There had been a time when this would have seemed like an impossible dream but even Jaskier had to admit (to you, in secret, after much alcohol and a pinky promise never to tell anyone else) that Valdo loved her in a way that was truly singular and special and they were happy.

                “Alright is someone going to tell me what’s going on yet?” Aevryn asked, arms outstretched in front of her wildly as though Yennefer’s hands weren’t on her shoulder guiding her carefully. Yen walked her silently up to Valdo and she smiled beneath the blindfold.

                “V?”

                He stole a kiss before undoing the black silk kerchief he’d given Geralt to tie around her eyes before he left that morning to prepare the surprise.

                “How did you know?” he laughed.

                “You’re wearing the cologne I got you,” she answered simply, “Besides, I’d know you anywhere.”

                After a few long seconds of the pair smiling at each other, Jaskier cleared his throat, jogging Valdo out of his reverie.

                “Ah! Yes! Ok, Aev, remember when I asked about what you wanted for your birthday and you said you didn’t know and were generally no help whatsoever?”

                “I do, yes,” she answered glibly with a little mischievous smile. He always fussed about her not helping him as if he didn’t have five plans by the time he asked her anyway.

                “Jaskier and I came up with a plan. Are you ready?” Valdo asked.

                “I doubt it,” she laughed, looking around the parking lot they’d driven to. It looked vaguely familiar to her but not in a way she could quite place. Valdo looked to Jaskier, who was still staring at him with wide-eyed surprise at receiving any credit from his one-time enemy, expectantly.

                “Right!” he said, coming out of it and pulling up his phone. He held it up to his ear and after half a ring said, “It’s time.”

                At the sound of the engine revving to life nearby, Aevryn’s entire face lit up and her eyes widened.

                “You fucking didn’t,” she gasped. Valdo nodded behind her and she looked over to find an old Volkswagen bus creeping its way closer, Geralt (who she just realized had snuck away) in the driver’s seat.

                “I told you we kept it around,” Jaskier said as they ran up to the van. She pressed her hands lovingly against the van and turned back to look at her husband and best friend.

                “This is so wonderful, god the memories,” she sighed happily.

                “You always told me that the one thing that marred those happy memories was that we were still… working things out. And I can’t go back in time and undo what happened, but I can offer you new ones in their stead,” Valdo said. She looked between him and Jaskier, confusion breaking into delight.

                “Wait… are you saying….” Her voice trailed off, waiting for confirmation. Geralt stepped out of the van and tossed her the keys as Yennefer reached into her purse and pulled out a somehow still chilled can of Redbull.

                “C’mon Swift-Marx,” Valdo said with a wink and a note of pride in his voice as he recited their joined surnames, “We’ve got a road trip to go on.”

[seanfalco]

Twinsies

Fandom: The Witcher Punk!AU (Future) Pairing: Punk!Jaskier x Reader / Punk!Valdryn / Punk!Gerennefer Word Count: 1445 Rating: T Taglist: @ficsandcatsandficsandcats​ @nevadawolfe​ @magic-multicolored-miracle​ @coffee-and-stories​ @whatevermonkey​

a/n: A little future punk!au drabble ft. Sam & Ciri that I’ve had in my head for a bit now.  Based off of the time both Kat & I unknowingly pinned the same shirt to both Jaskier & Valdo’s sections of our shared pinterest board.  Enjoy!

“Are they here yet?” Jaskier asked for the third time, and you forced yourself to take a deep calming breath, your phone buzzing, saving you from the urge to throttle your husband.

“Yen and Geralt just got here,” you announced, reading Yennefer’s text.

“It’s not them I’m worried about,” Jask exclaimed, pacing.  “Their kid’s also in the play, so of course they’ll be here on time.  It’s Aev and Valdo I’m worried about,” he ground out.  “That man is always late and I want to make sure we get the best seats in the house to see Sam!”

“Jaskier, calm down,” you murmured, placing your hand on his arm to stop his pacing.  “They haven’t even opened the doors yet.  Besides, Aevryn and Valdo only flew in a couple hours ago, they’re probably jet-lagged.”

“That’s no excuse for them to be late to their niece’s first theatrical production!” Jaskier cried dramatically, and you couldn’t help the grin that tugged at your lips as you grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to look at you.

“They’re going to be here on time,” you assured him, though he looked ready to argue.  “And do you want to know how I know that?”  Jaskier slowly closed his mouth, peering at you with interest. 

“Because I told Valdo to be here a half hour before they actually had to be here,” you explained.  “Which means…”

“They’ll be here on time,” Jaskier finished and shook his head ruefully.  “Okay, colour me impressed,” he said, pulling you in for a quick kiss.

“And speak of the devil,” he muttered, glancing past you as he spotted Valdo’s black Tesla whipping into the parking lot.

Soon Geralt and Yennefer met you by the front doors and the four of you waited for the last two members of your party.

“Hey, I hope we’re not late,” Aevryn exclaimed apologetically as you enveloped her in a hug.  “It took V forever to decide what to wear.”

“Oh, no, you’re right on time,” you assured her (a little smugly) before turning to greet her husband.

“Oh.”

You froze as Valdo stepped up behind Aev and your eyes fell to his shirt — dark blue with a muted floral print; sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and the top several buttons undone to show off a glimpse of his smooth chest, decorated by his usual layers of necklaces.  

“[Y/N], is something wrong?” he asked, a note of worry in his voice as you quickly brought your hand to your mouth to cover your grin.

That was when Jaskier turned from his conversation with Geralt and his blue eyes locked on Valdo.  “Oh no.  Oh nonononono,” he muttered in disbelief.

Aevryn broke her composure at the same time you could no longer hold back your own laughter; the other woman hanging off your shoulder, shaking with mirth at the sight of the two men wearing the. exact. same. shirt.

“You have to change!” Jaskier cried, scandalized, gesturing to Valdo’s chest.

“Why do I have to change?” Valdo demanded, equally scandalized.  “Why don’t you?”

“Because I was here first!”

“Well, I wear it better!”

“Nobody is going home to change,” you interjected sternly — the effect somewhat ruined as you wiped away the amused tears from the corners of your eyes from laughing so hard.  “Besides, there’s not enough time.”

Jaskier glanced at the watch at his wrist before scowling, knowing you were right.

“Now now gentlemen, you both look lovely,” Yennefer remarked; her dark painted lips carefully neutral, though a spark of amusement danced in her violet eyes as she studied Jaskier and Valdo’s sour expressions.  “It will be dark in the auditorium.  Just don’t sit next to each other and no one will even notice.”

You shared a dubious look with Aevryn, and even Geralt smirked briefly, but it was time for the doors to open and you were eager to find your seats.

True to Yennefer’s suggestion, Jaskier sat as far as possible from Valdo, who didn’t seem to mind, settling in the seat at the end of the row next to Aevryn.  Throwing his arm around her shoulders he leaned in to whisper something in her ear, his dark emerald gaze flicking to Jaskier, and Aev giggled, whispering something back as she stroked the side of his face fondly.

By Valdo’s smug smile you could only guess she was assuring her husband that he did indeed wear the ensemble better than Jaskier, as you had had to assure your own husband the same thing just moments earlier.

However when the lights dimmed and your daughter took the stage with Ciri, all other thoughts fell away.

——

After the show the six of you milled about the atrium with the other parents, waiting for the kids to come out for photos.

Jaskier was careful to keep his distance from Valdo, but you noticed more than a few curious stares from the other adults —whether because of the shirt or because they recognized either one or both of the men, you had no idea.

Yennefer disappeared into the crowd to go greet her friend Triss while Jaskier went to stand next to Geralt.

“Can you believe it?” he grumbled under his breath, his eyes trained on Valdo, who was currently speaking with [Y/N], his arm looped around Aevryn’s waist.  “What are the odds, hmm?”

“It’s not like he did it on purpose,” Geralt pointed out, following Jaskier’s gaze.  “He seemed just as surprised as you.”

“Well sure… I suppose,” Jaskier spluttered, frowning indignantly.  “It’s just… you think I look better in it, don’t you?”

Geralt grunted noncommittally, not really wanting to get drawn into it.

“Geralt?” 

“Perhaps you should start checking with Aev before you go out to make sure you and Valdo don’t match.”  The wolfish grin on his friend’s face nearly had Jaskier’s eyes bulging out of his head; his mouth gaping open.

He expression only soured further as Valdo approached, oblivious to the betrayal that had just occurred.

“I still can’t get over how absolutely wonderful the girls were tonight!” he exclaimed, practically beaming, all traces of smug superiority gone.  “I mean, talk about thespian perfection!  They both deserve Tony’s for that performance.”

You couldn’t help but smile fondly at Valdo’s earnest praise of your daughter and niece, and you threw a meaningful look at Jaskier, who seemed to calm somewhat, though he was subtly edging away from Valdo.

“Daddy!”

Sam’s gleeful cry cut through the low murmur of the milling crowd as she came running over, Ciri not far behind, to nearly bowl over Jaskier with a tight hug.

“What did you think?  Did you like it?  Did I do good?” Sam asked in quick succession; one question on top of the others.

“We were just talking about how wonderful you and Ciri both did, Mitka,” Jaskier exclaimed proudly, squeezing her back.

“Really?” Sam asked, glancing around at the other adults.  That’s when she noticed, her gaze stopping on her uncle Valdo before sharply swinging back to her dad.

“Oh my God, you guys are twinsies!  Did you plan that on purpose?” she squealed, her and Ciri breaking into an unstoppable fit of laughter.  

“Aunt Aevryn, you have to get a picture of this!” Sam cried, taking Valdo’s hand and pulling him over to stand next to her and Jaskier.

Both men glanced at each other uncomfortably over the young girl’s head, grimacing before plastering strained grins on their faces as Aev, giggling herself, snapped a photo with her phone.

“Should this go on the band’s Insta?” she teased, sticking out her tongue at Jask when he opened his mouth to argue.  “Y’know,” she said instead, crouching down to show Sam the photo for approval.  “This just goes to show what good taste they both have, because it’s not the only thing they were able to agree on tonight,” she remarked, glancing up to direct a pointed look at her husband and her best friend, a soft smile on her face.

“Oh yeah?  What’s that?” Sam asked.

“That they’re both really proud of you,” she whispered conspiratorially, loud enough for both men to overhear and at her words Jaskier and Valdo shared a rueful grin before moving to join the rest of you.

Bless Aev, you thought as she stood and Sam came over to throw her arms around you next.  She always did know the exact right thing to say to ultimately smooth over the former rivalry between her husband and yours; to remind them they were on the same side now.

“Okay, now we need a group photo, with everyone!” Sam declared, and this time there were no objections.

[seanfalco]

Road Trip | Punk!AU

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Punk!Jaskier x Reader, Punk!Geralt x Punk!Yennefer Word Count: 1509 Rating: T Taglist: @nevadawolfe​ @magic-multicolored-miracle​ @coffee-and-stories​ a/n: A little bit on the short side, but I had fun getting my toes wet with the group interactions.  Part three will be coming by @ficsandcatsandficsandcats​ soooon.  :3

[ Part I ]

Part II - Out Here in the Field

Trees flew by the window, the spaces between them obscured by a wispy layer of fog stubbornly clinging to the ground despite the weak rays of sunlight beginning to stream through the clouds.  Stirring, you stretched, careful not to jostle Jaskier, asleep against your shoulder and snoring softly.  Stifling a yawn with your fist you let your gaze roam the van, quiet but for the steady breathing of sleep and the low music playing in the background.

Everyone was still asleep and it took you a moment to realize Geralt was no longer in the driver’s seat.  Instead Aevryn’s telltale wild locks were just visible over the headrest, her fingers drumming a beat against the worn leather of the steering wheel in time with the soft music she was listening to, singing under her breath.

The song was unfamiliar to you and you closed your eyes to listen, not wanting to intrude on the moment.  The man’s voice that weaved through the speakers accompanied by the mellow cords of an acoustic guitar was haunting and beautiful, the lyrics compelling and poetic in a different way from Jaskier’s, but still you found you enjoyed it.

You were just about to ask Aev who the musician was when a pothole in the road shocked the van and Jaskier jerked awake.

“What th--?” he exclaimed, sitting up abruptly, his chestnut hair sticking up where he’d been leaning against your shoulder, blinking blearily as it took him a couple seconds to regain his bearings.

You caught a flash of Aevryn’s frantic expression, eyes wide in the rear view mirror before the song cut off suddenly, switching to something different.

“Geralt, what the fu--” Jaskier began, ready to lay into who he thought was driving when he noticed it was Aevryn in the front seat.  “Aev?” he yelped in confusion, glancing back at Geralt in the back seat; sawing logs.

“When did --?” he shook his head and began again.  “More to the point, Geralt actually let you drive?”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Aevryn asked, eyes narrowing in the mirror as you fought to stifle a laugh.  

You glanced at Jaskier who opened his mouth before apparently thinking better of it and closing it promptly, throwing you a ‘help me’ look.

Bemused smile firmly in place, you shook your head, the message clear -- ‘you’re on your own on this one’, to which Jaskier’s jaw fell open as he clutched dramatically at his heart.

“I’ll have you know Geralt trusts me implicitly,” Aevryn announced from the front seat, the mischievous grin tugging at her lips somewhat spoiling her self-important tone.  “He said I’m the only one he trusts enough to drive his little Roachie.”

“I never said that.”  Geralt’s voice interrupted from the back seat and you and Jaskier quickly turned to glance at him, his eyes still firmly closed and arms crossed against his chest.  “You just happened to be the only one awake at the time and as soon as I get a little more sleep I’m taking back over.  And don’t call her that.  It’s Roach.”

A moment of silence passed before you, Jaskier, and Aevryn were all gasping with laughter; the scowl that twisted Geralt’s lips only making you laugh harder.

——

Nearly an hour later, everyone was awake and Aev announced that you’d just entered Ohio, pulling off the highway at a roadside diner for lunch.  

Piling into the large corner booth, you picked up the menu, scanning the usual diner fare, deciding easily on a burger and fries while Win gasped, her eyes going wide as she stared at you.

“We’re in Ohio right?”

“Yeah,” Jaskier answered, giving your best friend a puzzled look, but you knew right away what she was getting at, rolling your eyes.

“You have to get the skyline chili,” she exclaimed, shaking the menu.  “We’re in Ohio,” she repeated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Jaskier, Geralt, Yennefer, and Aevryn all looked to you for an explanation of your friend’s eccentric behaviour as you remembered they weren’t from the US.  Clearing your throat after getting your giggles under control you adopted your most pedantic voice in order to explain to the Brits that skyline chili was merely chili over a bed of spaghetti noodles, but that it was a quote Ohio Thing unquote.

Win groaned at your explanation, shaking her head in faux seriousness.  

“It’s not just any old chili, it’s an experience,” she exclaimed dramatically.  “There are some that say there’s chocolate in the secret recipe which gives it its distinct sweet flavour.”

Jaskier raised his eyebrows at you and you snorted.  “She’s originally from Ohio,” you explained, bumping against his shoulder, “it’s a comfort food thing.”  

“Ah, now that I can understand,” your boyfriend said with a grin.  “I’ll try it, why not?” Jaskier shrugged and Aev ordered it as well for the “experience”.

“I think I’ll pass,” Yennefer replied, looking unimpressed before ordering something else while Geralt “hmm’d”.

As you waited on the food everyone kind of dissolved into their own little pockets of conversations, and while Jaskier was engaged in a debate with Yen over the set list order you figured it was as good a time as any to ask Aevryn about that music from earlier.

“Hey Aev, what was that band you were listening to this morning?  I kinda dug it.”

Aevryn, in the midst of taking a drink, choked in surprise, the same deer in headlights look crossing her face as her eyes flicked first from Jask to Yennefer in rapid succession before returning to you.

“I didn’t realize anyone was awake,” she muttered ruefully.  “It’s just this indie musician that I listen to sometimes,” she said offhandedly, shrugging.  “None of the others really care for it, so…” she trailed off, blanching as Yennefer eyed her sharply.

Confused as to why that would seem to upset Yen so much you opened your mouth, ready to ask a follow up question when the waitress returned with the food, and Aevryn promptly shoveled a forkful of chili and noodles in her mouth, effectively cutting the conversation short, though Yen still eyed her suspiciously.

Jaskier, completely oblivious to the whole exchange perked up as his plate was set before him.  “Want a bite?” he asked, twirling spaghetti around his fork and offering it to you.  Grinning, you held his gaze as you took the pro-offered bite, covering your mouth with your hand as the chili smeared across your lips.

Wriggling his eyebrows at you Jaskier took the next bite and proceeded to make a show of chewing slowly as if deliberating.

“Hey Win,” he called across the table to your friend.  “Not bad!”

——

Back on the road with Geralt once more at the helm everyone fell back into comfortable silence, full and sleepy, the quiet broken only by the random urges to sing along to the music from time to time.  Until Jaskier sat up, blue eyes lighting up at something on his phone.

“Hey Geralt, I have an idea!” he called excitedly.

“No.”

“Oh, c’mon it’s just a teeny tiny detour,” Jaskier whined, and curious, you sat up, leaning into his shoulder to see what he had up on his phone.  It was an advertisement for this nearby eclectic road-side attraction, some sort of homespun local museum and it actually looked interesting.

You read the description aloud to dramatic ‘oooh’s’ and ‘ahhh’s’ from Aev and Win in the back seat, who both seemed in on the fun as well.

“Please Geralt, it’s really not that far out of the way,” Jaskier pleaded, leaning forward to grab the driver’s seat.  “If we’re going this road trip we ought to do it right, don’t you think?  I want to experience America, not just see it from the highway.”

Geralt sighed and turned to share a look with Yennefer.  “Oh why not?” she finally said, her lips twisting with amusement at Geralt’s momentary shock.

“Fine,” he bit out.  “Give me the directions.”

A half hour later you were completely lost and the sun was beginning to go down.

“I think we may have passed it…” Jaskier said weakly, “at some… point.”

Geralt merely stared ahead stonily.  “Yep, I think that’s pretty obvious.”

“Oh come on you guys,” you said, trying to salvage the situation; not wanting the two friends to fight any longer, and not being able to stand seeing your boyfriend look so dejected.  “Hey look at that field over there, why don’t we stop there for a bit to watch the sun go down and figure out where we are?” you suggested.

To your surprise Geralt didn’t protest, pulling off the road into the abandoned field, and throwing Roach into park.

“Okay, everyone out.”

“Brilliant idea babe,” Jaskier murmured in your ear as you unbuckled, his lips brushing against your cheek.

“I know,” you quipped, turning to catch his lips on yours, taking him by surprise before jumping out of the van, laughter pouring from your lungs as he lunged after you.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Just thought of an idea for the Punk!AU - how about the wedding between Jaskier and the reader, which many hilarious things keep going wrong, whilst getting ready, in which. In the end, Jaskier ends up showing up in his dressing gown and/or boxer shorts, in which the reader is amused, but finds it very cute!

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Punk!Jaskier x Reader, Punk!Geralt x Punk!Yennefer, Punk!Aervryn x Punk!ValdoWord Count: 1,183Rating: GTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract@your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan a/n: I’m still working on the wedding in my mind (and pinterest) but here is a little pre-wedding moment that includes shenanigans, chaos, and a black eye. Enjoy!

You pounded at the door of the dressing room and tried to take deep breaths. The door opened just a tiny crack and a pair of familiar emerald green eyes peered through.

“Y/N you’re an absolute vision, I’m going to cry if you don’t leave right this moment,” Valdo intoned dramatically, trying to shut the door quickly but you wedged your foot in its path, one navy blue converse peeking out below gold and white tulle.

“Valdo, what is happening with Jaskier?” you asked, voice dangerously low. He opened his mouth to reply but was suddenly pushed aside, giving an indignant look to Yennefer who popped into view. She smiled at you but it didn’t reach her violet eyes which looked oddly a little bit… panicked?

“Y/N I know this is stressful but please believe we have it under control,” she said. You heard a crashing sound and Geralt swearing loudly as Jaskier cried out. Yennefer closed her eyes to take a deep breath and you pushed the door open, rushing past her before she could stop you.

“He can’t see you yet it’s bad luck!” Valdo cried after you but you charged forward. Geralt saw you first and spun Jaskier around to face the wall, forgetting there was a mirror there. You both gasped as you caught each other’s eyes; his eyes watering with joyful tears, yours with deep concern.

“Jaskier?” you gasped, “Why do you have a black eye?”

You shot a look To Valdo who threw his arms up in surrender as the door opened and closed, Aevryn running in wearing a knee-length navy blue bridesmaid dress that matched Yennefer’s full length one.

“I got some ice and I think this shade will cover it up ok!” she announced and then paused, realizing you were standing there and there was an odd tension in the air.

“Y/N I told you I’d be right back!” she said.

“I knew something was wrong when my entire bridal party abandoned me,” you snapped.

“Win didn’t!” Aevryn argued.

“My maid of honor was pulled away by Valdo to run some mysterious errand so yes, actually, she did,” you replied, “Now who is going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Y/N… gods, look at you,” Jaskier remained in that dreamlike state, oblivious to your anger, all of the anxiety he’d been feeling melting away as he turned and took you in. Your dress was a nontraditional wedding dress, gold and white instead of the pure white most brides wore. Your converse matched the ones sitting on a nearby chair for him to put on and your hair was twisted half-up and half down, little gold music notes pinned around the crown of your head. The bouquet in your hand was made up of sheet music, specifically the song he’d written to propose to you; Peppermint Tea. You looked perfect and ethereal.

Jaskier looked like a trashfire.

He had a black eye, he was wearing nothing but a white button up shirt which had a char mark on it and boxer briefs. You didn’t know where the pants or jacket had gone but you suspected they were a part of the smoky smell in the room and the reason that the fire alarm had been yanked out of the ceiling. The more you looked around the worse it got.

“Jaskier, love, please tell me what’s happened,” you implored.

“Ah yes well there have been some… hiccups,” he said. You cocked an eyebrow and Jaskier looked to his  best man but Geralt just pursed his lips in a thin line.

“Allow me,” Valdo said, waving into view, the navy blue suit and black button-up undershirt that had been perfectly tailored making him look like the groom that Jaskier was supposed to be right now. “It all started when Yennefer set Jaskier’s pants on fire.”

“I did not!” Yennefer snapped.

“Darling you saged the room and didn’t look where you put the still smoking plant down, starting a fire, so yes, you did,” he argued coolly. Yennefer had no reply for this, simply glancing down at the floor, suddenly fascinated by an imaginary speck on her black boots.

“That was disaster number one which Geralt decided to respond to by tearing out the alarm while much cooler heads prevailed and put the fire out,” Valdo gestured to Aevryn as he said this and she did a little wave.

“Explain the black eye,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Jaskier fell in the bathroom and smacked his face against a doorknob,” Valdo replied simply. Jaskier gave you a sheepish look and you took the ice pack Aevryn had brought in and rested it against his eye.

“Gods what a mess,” you groaned, though there was a smile playing about your lips.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, you deserve so much better,” Jaskier said, his voice as sad as his face, wide blue eyes gazing at you pitifully.

“Don’t be silly,” you said, chuckling as you placed a soft kiss against his lips, “We’re getting married today. Nothing else matters. Besides, you look kind of cute all… mussed up.”

“Oh yeah?” Jaskier asked with a little quirk of his eyebrow, “This working for you?”

“Save it for the honeymoon,” Valdo said, cutting through the moment. “You will not be getting married looking like this, let’s make that clear right now. Win is off collecting a tailor I flew in who will be bringing a similar suit to the one Jaskier was going to wear. The cut is a bit different but the color matches and beggars can’t be chooser, love. While we wait for that, Aevryn, would you do the honors of working on hiding that shiner?”

Aevryn hurried forward with the concealer and brush in hand and got to work.

“Y/N, let’s go back to your dressing room,” Yennefer suggested, “Give them time to work.”

You reluctantly agreed and as you reached the door you barely avoided getting hit in the face yourself as Win and a man you didn’t recognize practically broke the door down, a rolling cart with approximately five variations of a navy suit being dragged in after them. Valdo walked over to greet the man, speaking Italian which none of you (save for Aevryn) knew he could do, and you gave Jaskier an encouraging smile.

“Everything will be ok,” Yennefer said reassuringly as you walked back towards your own dressing room, “There’s a lot to be said about Valdo Marx but one of them is that he’s good in a crisis.”

“It’s already ok,” you said, a big smile still on your face, “I’m getting married today, Yen.”

Yennefer smiled at you and tucked a strand of hair back. In the distance you heard raised voices shouting in Italian and you sighed in unison. The door opened and Win popped back out and ran towards you both.

“Don’t ask,” she said simply. You laughed and let your friends escort you back to the room, trusting Aevryn to be the voice of sense and reason with whatever was going on back there.