a/n: I hope you guys like this, I tried switching up my writing style so tell me what you think!
Pairing: Punk!Kim Taehyung x reader (ft. Jeon Jungkook & Jimin)
Genre: Exes to lovers, angst and fluff
Warning: allusions to feeling depressed and allusions to sex, light cursing, alcohol, betrayal
Word Count: 8.6k
Summary: Taehyung had your heart since the moment you met him, so when he just up and leaves you can’t help but feel broken. When he comes back to town you’re conflicted since you still love him but one of your best friends vehemently hates him. It’s just so hard to say no when he looks like that.
Smoke twirls around his fingers, winding intricately through them as he holds the lit cigarette. To others he is intimidating and scary, but to you he just looks like the obnoxious caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. He’s leaned against the wall outside of the club, the bottom of his right boot pressing into the brick. A leather jacket protects him from the bite of the chilly night air, and just like him it stands out starkly. Graffiti drawings and words decorate the black material, yellow accents and metal pieces lining the right side. Leather pants cover his bottom half, reflecting a soft light in the streak of moonlight lighting the dark alley. You lean against the opposite wall as you stare, waiting for him to say something.
“You shouldn’t be alone at this time of night.” He doesn’t look at you as speaks, just staring blankly ahead.
“I’m not alone. I’m with you.” You smirk and push yourself off the wall, gently wrapping your fingers around the cigarette. Your fingers brush over his own and your body shivers, your tongue running over your dry lips. Taking the cigarette you put it out, smothering the flame underneath your own boots. When you look back up his eyes are smoldering just like the end of a lit cigarette making you suck in a sharp breath. His eyes fall to your lips and hold there, your tongue darting out again in the corner in anticipation.
“Stop doing that.” His voice is between a groan and a growl, strained by desperation and self-control.
“Doing what?” You ask leaning in even farther. There’s only a few inches between you now and his leg drops down, letting you in even further. His hair falls into his eyes and you reach up a hand to move the strands away. They’re soft under your touch, and you stand up on your toes to push more of them away. His breath quickens into soft puffs, gently caressing your cheeks now that you’re almost eye level. You swallow when you notice the flicker in his eyes has turned into a blazing wildfire.
“What do you want from me?” He whispers, voice raspy. His hands clench and unclench at his side like he’s practicing self-restraint.
“Isn’t it obvious?” You ask leaning even closer so that if you speak another word your lips will brush against one another. “I want you.”
You shake your head violently as Jimin snaps his fingers in front of your face. “Hey creeper, you’ve been staring at him for five minutes now.” You blink a few times before turning your gaze away from the corner of the club. The corner where Taehyung stands in a painted leather jacket and leather pants. Jungkook snickers at your darkening cheeks and you smack his bicep.
“Shut up! At least I wasn’t afraid to talk to the opposite gender for two years.” Jungkook puts his hand over his heart like you’ve just betrayed him.
“Excuse me, I don’t deserve this treatment. Jimin is the one who called you a creeper and yet I get smacked and made fun of. This is favoritism at its finest.” He huffs. “Besides at least I’m not hopelessly pining after someone.” Your face falls a little and Jungkook’s eyes widen as he realizes what he said.
“I-I’m- Y/n I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.” He takes a step towards you but you put your hand out and place it gently on his chest.
“It’s okay Kook, I deserved that one. I-I’ll be right back okay?” Before they say anything else you duck between a crowd of people, ignoring your best friends’ calls for you. You don’t stop pushing until you’re outside the club and hurry towards the side of the building where it’s dark enough to hide your tears. You turn your head up to the night sky and admire the stars and the moon, trying to distract yourself from focusing on the fact that your heart feels like it’s being ripped to shreds. He didn’t mean it, he didn’t mean it, he didn’t mean it. You sniffle a few times but freeze when the sound of rusty hinges fills the alleyway. Slowly lowering your gaze to face the alley, you watch in horror as a familiar figure emerges from a back door and pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. He seems to notice your stare because his head immediately whips towards your direction and he tips the pack towards you.
“Smoke?” He asks. You shake your head, nose scrunching in distaste. “So what are you doing out here?” He asks, pulling out a cigarette for himself.
“Just came out here for some fresh air.” He slips the lighter back into his pocket, twirling the cigarette around like it’s a pencil.
“So you came into an alley lined with cigarette butts?” He smirks amused.
“Yeah, you know I was really craving the smell of old nicotine. It’s just so refreshing.” He laughs heartily, and your chest swells with pride at making him smile.
“You’re funny, you know that Y/n?”
“I try.” You shrug which elicits another chuckle from him, leaving him to smile lazily at you.
“So how’s my favorite girl?” You swallow so hard you choke on your spit, a hand flying to your mouth as you violently cough. Taehyung hurries towards you, running his palm up and down your back in a soothing motion.
“I-I’m fine.” You mutter between coughs before detaching yourself from his scalding touch. Your whole back burns.
“I’ve missed you. I was thinking maybe we could hang out sometime, just the two of us.” He reaches out to take your hand in his own. His eyes are a soft brown, warm like a summer day and relaxing you like you’ve spent the day under the sun’s rays. “I know it’s been a while but I’ve been thinking-“
“Y/n?” Jimin rounds the corner and immediately Taehyung pulls away, shrinking back into the shadows. You turn your head to Jimin’s wide eyes, which immediately sharpen when they hone in on the close proximity of you and Taehyung. “We’ve been looking for you. I was worried.” Jimin grabs your hand that was just in Taehyung’s and your body goes cold, the lingering remnants of Taehyung’s warmth erased by Jimin’s touch. “What are you doing out here? I thought we had a deal.” Jimin practically growls and you glance at him confused. A deal?
“Jimin what-“ Taehyung cuts you off before you can really formulate your thought.
“It’s nothing. Just came out for a smoke is all.” He says, flashing the cigarette in his hand. Taking out his lighter he plays with the flame but doesn’t actually light the bud.
“Didn’t look like just a smoke.” Jimin barks.
“I can’t even say hello? I think basic human decency should be allowed here.”
“You lost the right.”
“Umm hello? I’m right here you guys. What deal? What happened?” You break their conversation. Jimin ignores you as he pulls away, Taehyung opens his mouth but no words come out. You hold eye contact with Taehyung before you disappear around the corner, waiting for him to do something, say something. Nothing happens. Instead you watch as the vulnerability from before slips off his face completely, leaving him the same stoic shell as back in the club. It doesn’t make sense. Jimin and Taehyung used to be so close. You all were. Until last summer when Taehyung pulled away without a word. But it seems like he didn’t pull away after all. It seems like he was forced to.
The ride home is silent as you, Jungkook, and Jimin are sitting in the uber. Jimin is still fuming, jaw clenching and unclenching frequently meanwhile Jungkook keeps trying to ask you what happened telepathically. You just shrug and stare blankly out the window, mind wandering to what Taehyung is doing like it does every time you zone out. It’s been so long since you’ve had a real conversation with him. After he separated himself from the group, from you, he went to stay with his family for a while and the only time you heard about him was through Jungkook, the only one he bothered to maintain contact with. Your incessant asking is the reason Jungkook thinks you’re pining after him and as much as you wish you could deny it you can’t. Your heart still belongs to the boy hidden behind a mask of leather and an uncaring attitude. The boy you saw for a split second, hidden in the dark alleyway, soft eyes illuminated by the moonlight and making you feel at home again.
When you pull in front of your shared apartment you three walk silently up the stairs and only when you’re inside the privacy of your apartment do you bother questioning Jimin again. “What was that back there? What deal?”
“It’s nothing.” Jimin says, turning his back to head into his room but you grab onto his arm to stop him.
“It’s clearly not nothing. If it’s about me I have the right to know.”
“Well it doesn’t so leave it be. This is between Taehyung and I, not you.”
“Is that so? Because I clearly remember Taehyung asking why he couldn’t even say hello to me. So clearly it does involve me.” You’re fuming now and step forwards towards Jimin but Jungkook intercepts, placing careful hands on your shoulders.
“Woah there, calm down. Maybe everyone should just go to bed. We can talk about this in the morning okay?” Jungkook looks between you and Jimin for confirmation.
“Why can’t you just tell me? Friends don’t keep secrets.” You growl in frustration, moving to look Jimin directly in the eye except he’s already looking down at his feet.
“Sometimes they have to.” He mutters before turning around and disappearing into his room, shoulders slouched and head turned down.
“What’s wrong with you two? What happened out there?” Jungkook asks, hands keeping you in place.
“I don’t really know. Taehyung came outside and we were talking and then Jimin came out and got angry. He mentioned something about a deal and how Taehyung wasn’t supposed to talk to me but when I asked what deal they were talking about neither of them said anything.”
“Weird. Taehyung’s never mentioned a deal to me.” Jungkook says, chewing on his bottom lip in concentration.
“So they’re keeping us both in the dark.” Jungkook hums in affirmation.
“Maybe we should have our own secret.” He teases, eyes lighting up with mischief.
“Like what?” Your anger melts away as you look into his starry eyes, fondness overtaking you. Jungkook is like your little brother and you can’t be mad when looking at his sweet face.
“Like….” He chews on his bottom lip some more. “Oh! That you’re secretly my favorite.” He whispers, before falling into a fit of giggles.
“You’re a dork, you know that?” You laugh shoving his shoulder as he takes both hands off your own. Moving towards your room, he’s still laughing in the living room before calling out to you once more.
“Your favorite dork though right?” His eyes are wide and round, lips slightly pursed as he eagerly awaits your response.
“Yes Kook. You’re my favorite.” He claps excitedly and you shake your head at him fondly before slipping into your own room, the sounds of his happy humming filling the apartment.
Standing alone in your room you face your closet, staring into the depths where a sweater lies limply smushed into the corner. The same corner you haven’t looked at since Taehyung left. Maybe it was your way of not accepting the break up, how he just up and left with barely a word. Just a harsh good bye and slam of the door as his things were bundled in his arms haphazardly. Like he was trying to get it over with without putting much thought into it. Reaching in, you pull out the sweater from his side of your closet and bring it to your nose, curious if it still smells a bit like him, like home. His scent is still there, comfort laced between each stitch, and you hug it tightly to your chest, letting yourself pretend for just a moment that he’s there in its place. It’s funny how the person who breaks you is also the one who can fix you. You know you shouldn’t, but against your better judgement you slip the sweater overhead and climb into bed ready for sleep.
Wrapping your arms around yourself and closing your eyes it almost feels like he’s right next to you intertwining himself with your body. Tears spill out of your tightly squeezed eyes and you choke on a sob, remembering exactly why this stupid sweater sat untouched since the moment he left. Wrenching it off of your body you throw it on the floor and turn away, like by not being able to see it you can forget how it felt on your skin, how he felt on your skin. Bringing the comforter up to your chin you try and block out any thoughts but the ghost of Taehyung follows you into slumber.
The morning is hazy, time is languid as you blink away sleep. Your unfocused eyes land on the sleeping figure beside you, fixating on the mole on his nose. A mole that you’ve spent many months wondering about what it’d be like to kiss and smiling to yourself you revel in the knowledge of being able to. You can kiss every inch of his handsome face because he’s yours. And you’re his. Giddily you lean forward pressing a chaste kiss to his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, until you cover his whole face in kisses stopping once you reach his mouth. Slowly you lower your lips onto his own. When you pull away Taehyung cracks an eye open as you linger above him, a large hand coming up to wrap around your neck and pull your lips back down to his own.
Languid kisses are exchanged instead of a morning greeting and you hope to wake up to this every morning. That is until morning breath sets in and you pull away before reluctantly rolling off the bed and into the bathroom. “Where are you going?” Taehyung whines before you hear the bed creaking as he moves around.
“I love you but your morning breath is the actual worst.” You tease, winking at him through the mirror. He rolls his eyes but still grins lazily at you, moving to grab his own toothbrush.
“It’s alright love, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. There’s no need to project.” Pinching the head of the toothbrush between his teeth, he rubs both of his hands along your upper arms in a sympathetic manner and you turn around to glare at him. He places a minty kiss on your nose in response. When both of your breaths are fresh, he drags you back onto the bed and loops a leg around your waist whining about losing cuddle time. An alarm clock begins ringing on one of the nightstands and you wait for Taehyung to turn it off.
“Ta-“
“Taehyung?” You croak out, rubbing your eye with your fist as you struggle to comprehend what he’s saying. His words are fast and slurred and spots dance in your vision after you accidentally looked in the rising sun when checking what time it is outside. “Taehyung slow down. What’s wrong?” Worry eats away at you as you realize he’s drunk in the early morning and all alone.
“C-Can you come get me? P-please. I miss you.” He slurs albeit clearer than before. Rushing out of your bed, you trip on the sweater on the floor and throw it onto your bed before pulling on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. “Love?” Taehyung calls and tears flood your vision. It’s been so long since he’s called you that. If only you’d actually tried to get over him. Maybe then this wouldn’t hurt so bad but you were stupid and naive and hoped that one day he’d come back to you. Only now that he is here, you’re just worried he’ll disappear again.
“Don’t call me that anymore Tae.” You say softly, not wanting to upset him while he’s intoxicated. He’ll only angrily pout and refuse to talk to you if you do.
“But why not?” He huffs and you roll your eyes, knowing full well the pout is beginning to set in. He can be such a child sometimes.
“Just tell me where you are.” Locking the apartment door you hurry down the stairs and into the parking garage, hastily getting into your car. The line is silent and you take a deep breath, eyes closed as you reluctantly call out, “baby?”
“I knew you still loved me!” He cheers. “I’m at the park where we met. Don’t you remember -“
“Yes Taehyung, I remember.” You quip, speeding through the empty streets to get to him. “Just stay right there okay? I’m about five minutes away.”
“Can you stay on the phone with me?” He asks, voice suddenly small. You nod but then realizing he can’t see you, you agree aloud.
“Do you remember when you first said you loved me?” Taehyung asks randomly, seated in your passenger seat with a coffee and egg mcmuffin clutched in his hands. You’re so caught off-guard that you swerve into the other lane for a second but thankfully it’s too early for any sane person to be out.
“I remember.” You say meekly, focusing on driving to try and tune him out. It hurts to remember things like that.
“I remember we were at that park and were watching my nephew. I had just come back to you from going down the slide with him while you sat on the bench with my camera and you just looked so pretty. I swear at that moment I would’ve gotten down on one knee.” He rambles and you have to stop yourself from asking why he didn’t. It wouldn’t have mattered that he didn’t have a ring or was unprepared because all you’ve ever wanted was Taehyung. For him to be yours and you to be his, forever. But clearly his want of commitment was fleeting since he took off so suddenly. “I wish I was holding onto that camera instead so I could’ve had a picture of you. Anyways I was gathering up the courage at that moment to tell you and you just blurted it out. And your face turned the same color as the strawberries we brought with us and I remember feeling so happy I could cry because I never thought you would love me back. I just- I miss that. I miss us.” He turns to you then but you check the driver-side mirror to hide your teary eyes from him. “Do you-do you think you could love me like that again?” He asks suddenly somber.
“You’re drunk Taehyung. Let’s go inside and sober up okay?” Some things are just better left unsaid.
Carrying a grown man up three flights of stairs is tiring, especially when his hands on your skin make your heart race and palms clammy. When you finally make it to your front door you’re exhausted, chest heaving as you fumble with the keys while trying to keep you both from toppling over. Taehyung seems to have gotten even drunker from the exertion, body increasingly sweatier as the seconds pass. Stumbling inside you drop him onto the couch before running into the bathroom to grab a cold wash cloth, not caring about your two roommates still sound asleep in their rooms. You’re more worried about Taehyung passing out from dehydration as you gently wipe the towel over his face and shrug off his leather jacket. Heading into the kitchen you pull out a water bottle from the fridge and basically force feed the liquid to him. Taehyung whines at your ministrations but you pay him no mind because he doesn’t understand what he’s saying right now. When his attempts to take the rag out of your hands don’t work, he places his hand over your wrist, firmly pushing your arm and the rag away. “Taehyung, I need to lower your body temperature. You’re burning up.”
“‘m fine.” He mumbles before pulling your hand to his chest instead and curling around your arm, effectively pulling you into him. “Just wanna cuddle.” His eyes round and his bottom lip juts out as he stares at you expectantly, almost like he can read your thoughts. Like he knows that you’ll cave in to his every whim, including this very dangerous one. If you lie with him you’re basically handing him over your heart, the same one that lies limply in your hands with a bandaid strewn across to hide the bad stitching. But of course, your heart is much louder than your mind and you find yourself tucked between the couch cushions and Taehyung, your heart now very much alive and thriving. It’s funny how even after all these months Taehyung still has you wrapped around his finger.
You wake up to the sound of a glass shattering on the floor and instantly jump up from the couch that you didn’t realize you’d fallen asleep on. Frantically you search for the damage and stiffen when you realize it’s Jimin. He’s standing in the hallway leading into the living room from the bedrooms, the glass of water he keeps by his nightstand lying in broken shards at his feet. You immediately move to help him but a heavy arm around your hips stops you. Glancing down slowly you wince at the sight of Taehyung wrapped around you, the domesticity a shot straight to the heart. Sheepishly you look back at Jimin like two teenagers getting caught by their parents, cheeks dusted in a light blush. You expect him to say something about how he’s disappointed but instead he’s just silent. The tension in the room grows rapidly, prickling your skin the same as the glass that lies beneath Jimin’s feet. Speaking of glass, only then do you remember that Jimin can’t really do anything because of that so you hastily shove Taehyung’s arm off of you, clambering over the back of the couch to get to a broom.
“Are you okay?” You ask, hastily moving towards Jimin. Taehyung groans and you can see him sitting up from your peripherals. “Tae don’t stand up, there’s glass on the floor.” You tell him, which seems to wake him up immediately because as you pass by his arm loops around your waist.
“Y/n! You can’t clean up glass barefoot.” He says and your gaze falls onto your bare feet. Whoops. “Here let me do it.” His hand brushes the top of your own as he gently pulls the broom out of your grasp, slipping on his shoes by the door before approaching Jimin. The air is thick and stiff as you all fall silent, the only sounds coming from the apartment being the shards clinking as they crash into each other and the gentle brush of the broom against the wooden floors. You shift uncomfortably near the couch, the tension so palpable it wraps around you like a blanket. Its hands are on Taehyung’s shoulders which are hunched and tensed, matching the furrow of his brow. A crease that you itch to smooth away with your fingers. When the glass is cleared away and the floor deemed safe, Jimin stalks into the room, gaze fiery and set to burn anything in his path.
“Jimin…” You start, moving towards Taehyung who seems to be Jimin’s target.
“What are you doing here? In our house.” Jimin growls, eyes flicking to you for a second. His jaw is clenching and unclenching, eyes set on incinerating Taehyung and you shiver from the sheer fury radiating from your best friend.
“He was drunk and alone. I couldn’t just leave him out there when he called me.” You hurry, ready to face Jimin’s wrath if it means Taehyung can be spared. You only seem to make things worse though. Enraged Jimin grabs a hold of Taehyung’s arm dragging him out of the door. You hurriedly follow but Jimin slams the door in your face. “Jimin!” You yell, tugging on the door handle but unable to open it since he seems to be holding it closed from the other side. “Jimin leave him alone! It’s my fault.” You scream, pounding on the door to get his attention. Your chest heaves as you scream helplessly, worried and stressed that Jimin will hurt Taehyung. Jungkook comes rushing out of his room, gaze frantic as he takes in the apartment, his worry turning to pity when he spots you by the door helplessly mumbling out for Taehyung while tears run down your face.
“It’s alright.” He coos softly, making his way to you slowly like you’re some scared animal trapped. In a way you are. When he reaches you, he pulls your body away from the door as you collapse into him, exhausted from the rush of emotions especially after just waking up.
“Kook..” You say but he shushes you, wrapping his arms tighter around you and planting a soft kiss to the top of your head.
“Let’s go back to bed, yeah?” He says softly, already scooping you up in his arms to take you to your room.
“But Tae and Jimin..”
“They’re big boys okay? They can take care of themselves.”
“But..” He tucks you into your bed, pulling the comforter up to your chin.
“I’ll check up on them for you, okay? But only if you go back to sleep and let me handle it. You need some rest.” Begrudgingly you nod and Jungkook smiles at you.
When you wake up it’s midday and for a moment everything seems normal. Until seconds later you remember what went down in the early morning and you burst out of your room and into Jungkook’s to hear about what happened. Jungkook jumps at your intrusion, video game controller flying out of his hand causing his character to die on the screen. “My undefeated ranking” He whines, pouting as the screen shows his record, 125-1.
“Sorry Kookie. Hey did you find out if Taehyung is okay? Oh and Jimin too.. Of course.” Jungkook gives you a knowing look, the one that tells you that he knows you are mainly focused on Taehyung.
“Jimin’s fine. He was pissed off so he went to the dance studio to work out his anger. Hasn’t been back home since he left.” Jungkook says, turning back to the tv to start a new game.
“And?”
“And?” He inquires smirking.
“Aren’t you forgetting something or rather someone?” You push, refusing to blurt out that you just wanted to know about Taehyung.
“No I don’t think so.”
“I hate you.” You groan in submission. “Is Tae okay?”
“You can’t say that you hate me and then expect me to answer. But since I know I’m secretly your favorite I’ll tell you anyways. Physically he’s fine but he seemed really sad over the phone. Kinda dazed and out of it like he was lost in his thoughts. Did something happen between you two? Jimin was rambling about him spending the night before he left.”
“Well, not specifically tonight but a long time ago yeah.” Jungkook’s eyes furrow as he processes your words. Jimin knows about Taehyung and you and your friendship dynamic is already ruined, so there’s no point in hiding it anymore. “Taehyung and I dated and were in love before he left. He dipped right after he ended things and the reason I got upset this morning is because I still love him even if he doesn’t love me anymore. Except now I think he might still love me, if we’re trusting what he said last night when he was drunk. But there’s something between him and Jimin that’s keeping him away. That deal I asked about earlier.”
“A deal to stay away from the group?” Jungkook asks confusedly.
“From me.” You say.
“Why would they make a deal like that though?”
“That’s what I want to know. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner about me and Tae. Maybe this could’ve been avoided if we were honest.” You cast your gaze down, fiddling with your hands, not able to meet Jungkook’s hurt gaze. You should’ve told him at least. He would’ve understood.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“We were scared it would change the group dynamic and would make things awkward. Which is ironic since the group was ruined anyways but at the time we thought we were doing what was best for everyone.”
“You can’t make decisions for other people.” Jungkook says softly, acknowledging your mistakes. You appreciate how Jungkook will tell it how it is rather than sugar coat everything. But he’s empathetic enough to at least change his tone of voice according to the situation.
“I know. I just wish I could go back and see where it went wrong.”
“That’s the sucky thing about time. You can never go backwards. Let’s try and fix this though. We’ve been friends for long enough that we can get through anything.”
“You think so?” You ask, voice hopeful.
“Of course. But first, we need to get to the bottom of this deal.”
Jungkook shows up in your room in the middle of the night a few days later, a wicked grin on his face and hands full of black articles of clothing. Before you can even get a word out he holds out his finger to you, “Just let me explain,” successfully dropping all the clothes onto your floor. The floor you just stress cleaned because you needed something to busy you from going into Jimin’s room and demanding an answer. “We’re going to lure Jimin to interact with Tae and then we’ll eavesdrop. He’ll probably bring up the deal again. ”
“So the black clothes are..”
“Our spy gear!” He cheers before shushing himself, grin dimpling his cheeks. You want to tell him that this is ridiculous and won’t work, that you’re supposed to be adults, but you don’t. One because his whole face is beaming, the brightness rivaling the twinkling stars visible from your window, and secondly because it does sound like fun to slink around for a day and pretend to be James Bond.
“How are we gonna make them talk to each other?”
“You. Jimin gets pissed whenever you and Taehyung interact so we just need him to see you and Tae the night before. But you know, create a scene so Jimin can’t get to him until the morning so we’ll be ready to lurk in the shadows.” It’s not a bad plan. Not very solid though because just how will you get Tae and Jimin in the same room but keep them separated?
“Where are we going to get everyone together?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at him skeptically when an evil smirk takes over his face.
“Leave that to me.”
The ocean curls gently around your ankles, the temperature chilly but you welcome the shiver climbing up your spine. It makes you forget the way your skin burned not from the fire but knowing Taehyung is on his way. The past incidents when you met were accidents, but knowing he’ll be here, that you’re supposed to get close has your whole body heating up. Jungkook raised his eyebrow at your earlier skeptically like he could sense your blush was from something other than the heat. But now you stand alone, left to your thoughts and chattering teeth. Maybe standing in the frigid ocean isn’t such a good idea.
“Be careful, don’t wanna get hypothermia or something.” A deep voice rumbles into your ear and you jump, swallowing a mouthful of air and erupting into a fit of coughs.
“Jerk.” You sneer punching Taehyung on the shoulder. “You know I get startled easily.”
“I know.” Taehyung says, the fondness in his voice wrapping around your throat and constricting your airways. “It’s cute.” His hand reaches up to place itself on your cheek, emboldened by the fact that you don’t run away after his confession. You lean your head into his large palm, unable to turn away from the comfort it provides. The domesticity of his actions reminiscent of when you were once together. Closing your eyes for a brief second you can picture yourself standing under the dim streetlight outside your dorm where he first kissed you. The quiet of the night making the world feel entirely your own, the moment a soft whisper of the love you both had for one another. “I’ve missed you.” He whispers, thumb gently tracing your cheekbone. The moon casts a soft light over the ocean, making the blue ethereal, the white frothing foam softer. Taehyung is cast in a similar glow, his face heavenly, like one of an angel only his leather jacket hides his wings.
“Didn’t you just see me the other day?” You ask softly, amusement twinkling in your eyes.
Taehyung pouts back at you, unamused with your teasing. “Not for long though.” The air around you grows tense, the memories of Jimin and the broken glass resurfacing. It’s ironic how the broken glass is just like your broken relationship, especially since the source of the carnage was the same person. Your gaze flicks over to Jimin who’s standing closest to the fire and he looks happy. The warmth radiating from him rivaling that of the bonfire. Except you can’t help but wonder how someone so affectionate and bright could be so cold and icy. Just what went down with him and Taehyung? You almost want to ask Taehyung directly about what the deal is but you can’t bring yourself to ruin the moment. Not when Taehyung is looking at you like you hold all the stars in your eyes. Like he still loves you.
“I missed you too.” You say softly, hoping your eyes convey your questions. Just why did he leave? Why did Taehyung not say anything, not do anything? Didn’t you matter to him? Didn’t he love you? “Tae-“ You get cut off when Jungkook comes running towards you, sand flicking behind him as he struggles to push his way through. Taehyung tenses and then pulls away, the moment between you two broken.
“Okay time to go.” Jungkook sings, putting his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders.
“What?” He asks confusedly, shrugging Jungkook’s hands off of him.
“Don’t you have to head to the shop early tomorrow?” Jungkook begins pushing Taehyung back towards the parking lot next to the beach and you follow.
“Jungkook what are you doing?” You question, not wanting to leave Taehyung just yet. For a moment it felt like there was something between you two. A flicker of what once was.
“I’m trying to be a good friend.” Jungkook says pointedly, throwing you a glare over his shoulder.
“You’re right. I should go.” Taehyung says. He turns towards you at the edge of the parking lot. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” He gives you an almost sad smile, like he’s speaking an unkept promise.
“Yeah.” You mumble, scuffing your shoe into the gravel. The three of you fall into an awkward silence, neither you or Taehyung seeming to want to leave yet and Jungkook just stands there looking between you both.
“Hey Tae why don’t you take her home? She has an early presentation tomorrow and needs sleep.” You’re about to ask him what he’s talking about since you have all afternoon classes this semester but he shushes you, pushing you both towards Taehyung’s car. “Just go with it. This’ll really make Jimin pissed.” He whispers in your ear after opening the passenger side door for you.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You look back to Taehyung who’s putting his seatbelt on, playing with his keys nervously. He looks up at you and his eyes swim with hope and dread, like he’s anticipating you leaving but hoping you’ll stay. You can’t break him like that. “Nevermind. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Bending down to get into the car Jungkook puts his hand on your elbow pulling you back up. “Are you sure? I couldn't care less about Jimin if it means you’re uncomfortable.” Looking back to Taehyung he gives you a small smile and that’s all the reassurance you need.
“Yeah I’m fine kookie.” You give his arm a small pat before ducking into the car, avoiding Taehyung’s eyes by busying yourself with adjusting your seat. Jungkook forces you to make eye contact once again to make sure you’re alright before wandering back towards the beach but not without casting sparing glances in your direction. “So…” You start wanting to break the silence. It’s not comfortable like it used to be and you hate it.
“How’s school been?” Taehyung’s hands shift around on the steering wheel.
“Stressful. I have a lot of upcoming interviews to try and get a job before graduation.”
“That’s great. I’m really proud of you, you know?” He reaches his right hand over and places it on your knee, giving a small squeeze, before realizing his actions and pulling away so quickly that it’s like you burned him. Maybe you did with how your skin is on fire from his touch. “S-sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have done that. I hope I didn’t offend you or anything.” Taehyung panics, his grip on the steering wheel clenching and unclenching.
“Tae it’s fine. No big deal I promise. I mean who’s to say we can’t be friends?” Taehyung swallows hard and licks his lips, the word friends seeming to hit him as hard as it does you. Can you really be friends after what happened? After how he left you. Can you really be friends when just sitting this close to him makes your heart race, the urge to hold his hand or trace the moles on his upper arm so strong that you have to lace your fingers together to stop yourself?
“Right. Friends.” He says the word like it’s bitter on his tongue and you wish to take the taste away. The ride back to your apartment is quiet, a tad tense as well, the radio and sound of cars buzzing by filling the cab of Taehyung’s vehicle. You tap your fingers against your thigh to a beat in your head, a melody you and Taehyung once knew by heart. “We’re here.”
“Right.” You say sharply, moving to unbuckle your seatbelt. Taehyung follows suit and you look at him skeptically. He pays your confusion no mind, exiting the car and moving towards your side, opening the door. “I can open my own door you know.” You tease.
“It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.” Helping you out of the car, his hand lingers on yours as he locks it. You raise an eyebrow at him and he shrugs, hand still wrapped around your own but you make no move to pull away. “What? Friends can walk each other to their apartments. Get your head out of the gutter love.” The nickname just seems to slip out of his mouth and his eyes go wide. “Uhh Y/n.” He coughs out.
“I mean, friends can give each other nicknames right?” This is a slippery slope and you know it. You can feel the regret lurking behind you like a shadow, growing with each step you take closer to your apartment. Each lingering gaze, light squeeze on your hand, a swipe of a tongue across lips makes your inevitable regret grow larger but you cast the light of your ignorance directly onto it so it shrinks away, at least for a while. You just want one untainted night with him. A final goodbye of sorts. It’s not like Taehyung has a reason to stick around anyways. When you reach your front door, you pause the keys dangling limply in your hand. This is your final moment to back out, to accept that your chapter with Taehyung is over and start anew. Yet, you throw caution to the wind and wrap your free hand around his neck bringing his head down so his lips meet yours. His lips are just as soft as you remember, slotting perfectly with your own and you sigh into his mouth. His hand tangles into your hair bringing your body closer to his own and you groan when your bodies mold together. This just feels so right. Taehyung backs you up against your front door and his mouth separates from your own before attaching to your neck, tinging the skin purple and blue under his ministrations. “Tae-“ You gasp, mind becoming hazy because his touch is intoxicating. He hums against your throat for you to continue, large hands encompassing your waist as your knees start to shake. “Maybe-maybe we should…take this inside.” Your hands snake into his hair, tugging at the strands to get a response.
“Yeah.” He mumbles, voice husky and eyes aflame with desire. His lips are swollen and he looks like pure sin. From his mussed hair to dark eyes, the feeling of his hands on your skin, you can just tell this will be a long night. And boy is it.
You wake up the next morning sore, arching your back off the bed as a way to stretch it out. Soft snores come from beside you and you smile, turning fully over to admire the boy next to you. He’s the complete opposite from last night, features now soft and angelic, sleep granting him with beautiful innocence. It’s hard to believe this is the same man that had your hands pinned above your head as you writhed beneath him last night. You pull your hand out of the safe warmth of the comforter to trace his features, gently booping the mole on his nose, silently giggling as he scrunches it in his sleep. The warm hand resting on your hip drags you closer, pressing your nose into the crook between his neck and shoulder making you grin into him.
“That tickles.” He whines, referencing your lips brushing against him. “And your nose is cold.”
You laugh lightly, pushing your upper body back so you can look him in the eyes. “You’re the one who pulled me into you.”
“Yes I know. I regret it.” He teases. You roll your eyes and attempt to get out of bed but his hands hook around your sides and pull you back onto him. “I didn’t say I wanted you to leave though.” You hum and turn around so your chests are pressed against each other. Taehyung kisses your nose before muttering, “I missed this. I missed us.”
“Yeah?” You ask and he answers by placing a chaste kiss on your lips.
“Yeah.” His hands trace up and down the curve of your back, stopping to draw shapes into your skin. They feel something like a heart and you blush, tucking your face back into the crook of his neck. “Leaving was a mistake. I should’ve stayed.” You moved to sit up so you can face him but his hand moves up to press between your shoulder blades and keep you tucked into him. “I was an asshole and I’m sorry. I thought I was making the right decision but I should’ve talked to you instead of leaving like a coward. I’m still a coward now because I can’t even face you while I confess but I still love you and was, no, am hoping you’ll-“
Your door flies open cutting him off as Jimin bursts in, “Y/n are you okay? I didn’t see-“ He freezes mid-sentence when he spots you with Taehyung, who gulps loudly beside you. You two are screwed. “Ahh, I see how you got home now.” He says lowly, hands clenching at his sides. He swiftly turns around and slams your door shut when he stalks out and you scramble out of bed throwing on Taehyung’s t-shirt from last night before rushing out into the living room.
“Jimin I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you last night.” Jimin ignores you, slipping on his coat by the door and you grab onto his sleeve to stop him from leaving. “Jimin, I’m sorry okay? I don’t know why you and Tae are in such a big fight but I’m sure we can work this out and-“
“What the fuck Y/n? Do you know what I went through just so you could succeed? Do you think I wanted to break you and Taehyung up? Do you think I wanted to send him away and break your heart? No but I had to because I knew you’d throw your career away for him. That you’d stay here in this shitty place just because you didn’t want to leave him behind! So I did what any good friend would do and I told Taehyung to leave. And yet here you are, ruining everything I did for you just because he’s good in bed.” A crack cuts through Jimin’s speech and you clutch your bruised fist into your chest, sickly satisfied as Jimin cradles his jaw. Tears cascade down your cheeks from not only hitting your best friend but also because he’s the one who hurt you. Jimin knowingly tore you apart when he sent Taehyung away.
“You don’t have the right to make decisions for me!” You scream back at him, letting your anger take over. “Do you even know what I went through when Taehyung left? Do you know how many nights I spent crying alone wondering what was wrong with me? Why he’d just up and leave without a word? And now to find out it was because of one of my best friends? That one of my best friends who was supposed to look out for me knowingly broke me? How do you think that feels Jimin?” A door opens and you turn around to see Jungkook exiting his room concerned, but Taehyung holds a hand out to him to stop him. Turning back to Jimin you become even more enraged by the lack of regret on his face.
“I did what I had to okay? Do you really think Taehyung could take care of you? You need someone stable Y/n! Someone with a good job, not just some low-life tattoo artist. Did he tell you he’s living in his studio? That he can barely afford to eat sometimes? I’m protecting you from throwing your life away can’t you see that?” He screams back at you and it takes everything in you not to throw another punch. You’re disgusted to think that you once called him your friend. That you thought he was kind and cared about you all.
“Get out Jimin.” You growl, pointing towards the door he stands behind.
“Excuse me?”
“Get out!” You scream, pushing him towards the front door. Jimin looks behind you to Jungkook but the younger boy only comes to stand by your side with his arms crossed.
“I think you need to leave.”
“Fine! But don’t come crying to me when your lives turn to shit.” Jimin growls, slamming the front door so hard the room shakes a little. You let out a shaky breath before collapsing onto the floor, sobs racking your whole body when you process what just happened.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Jungkook whispers into your ear, lifting you up and placing you onto the sofa where Taehyung immediately wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his frame. “Everything is going to be okay.” Jungkook says wrapping your favorite blanket around you.
A few days after things settle and you can hear Jimin’s name without crying or going into a fit of rage, you enter Jimin’s old room. Walking around the only trace of him is the lingering smell of his cologne that you can’t help but breathe in deeply. Even though Jimin’s true colors were revealed you can’t forget all the good moments you had with him. Like him brining you soup when you were sick and dancing around the kitchen with you in the early hours of the morning. Running your fingertips along his dresser your finger catches on the edge of a paper and you hiss, pressing firmly against the small paper cut. Moving closer to get a look at the offending object stuck between the edge of the dresser and the wall you pull it out to reveal an old photo. You, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook stand in front of the campus dorms on your last day of freshman year, large smiles on your faces and your arms all wrapped around each other. Jimin’s eyes are bright and warm, his smile comforting. You can’t help the small smile when you remember the excitement you were feeling that day. Just where did everything go wrong?
Bored and alone, you head over to Taehyung’s studio since Jungkook is currently in class right now. Also because you miss him and his stupid smile, especially when your heart feels a little heavy after finding that photo. When you enter Taehyung’s shop he smiles sheepishly at you, cheeks tinging red as he apologizes for its small size. “Tae I love it.” You reassure him, smiling at his ink drawings on the wall. Each one is individually framed and you take time observing each piece. There’s a reoccurring theme of flowers and you grin at the memory of Taehyung excitedly telling you their meanings on an early spring morning. When you finally turn back to face him, he’s looking at you so fondly that your heart falters. “So, Jimin’s room is empty now.”
“Yeah. He was kinda pissed when I was in the apartment when he got his stuff.” Taehyung says, moving forward to wrap his arms around your waist.
“Figured, But I don’t really care about what he has to say now.”
“That’s good. I’m still sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have made the decision for you. I’m no better than him.” Taehyung’s eyes turn sad and you kiss his nose to make them happy again.
“But you are better. You apologized and realized what you did was wrong. You felt remorse. I don’t think Jimin will ever really understand that.” Taehyung shrugs and you kiss his nose again. “I forgave you, now it’s time for you to forgive yourself. Which is why, I was going to ask you if you wanted to move into his old room? Think of it like a fresh start.”
“Really?” His eyes light up and your heart swells so much you think it might just burst.
“Yeah, I already talked to Kook about it.”
“I’d love to!” That boxy grin of his that you adore comes out on full display as he picks you up and spins you around, Giggling you grab onto his bicep to steady yourself, holding on even when he sets you down. “I love you, you know.” He whispers, like he wants to keep the moment just between you two. Like he doesn’t want the world to eavesdrop.
“I love you too.” He grins once more before placing his lips on your own, tasting faintly of cigarettes and the lollipops that sit on his desk.
