#puntagram

[gacatail]

Biomechanics co-instructor: Take that with a grain of salt.

Biomechanics professor: And now we're going to talk about charging devices. So, a salt and battery.

Entire class: *external laughter*

Entire class: *internal screeching*

[gacatail]

My biomechanics textbook is killing me.

Solids have shape, fluids don't. Jelly, yes; syrup, no.

Of course, the military has never been noted for economic fastidiousness.

But plants and animals choose different default structural materials—plants have a prediletion for polysaccharide, and animals perfer protein.

Every English-speaking neophyte biomechanic will confuse those ill-chosen terms, "stress" and "strain." Blame some ancient engineer, perhaps.

The factor of lateral contraction has long gone by the name of Poisson's ratio, with no ichthyological implication—the French mathematician Siméon-Denis Poisson introduced it.

For many purposes, we can use the formulas and approaches bequeathed us by metal-minded material mongers, and we'd be silly to start from scratch (Mohs notwithstanding).

[gacatail]

The Puntagram says, "Happy Ewe Year."

[gacatail]

Pop: He's a stand-up comedian. He's Canadian.

Mom: A stand-up Canadian?

[gacatail]

Suddenly remembered that sometime when I was a wee young'un, I asked my dad what the word "harass" means and he responded with "What about her ass?"

I think wordplay was a pundamental part of my upbringing.

[gacatail]

Momski: [Justin Bieber] is addicted to… I forgot; something with "juice", I think.

Me: Juice-tin?

Me: A Bieberage?

Me: Bie-beer?

[gacatail]

Ah yes, SN2, or as it's known in English, Attack on Backside.