Can we just like. Discuss. The half trained husky and Toff trying to get Misa to take care of his dog. Discipline. Training. Dear god, hygiene. Poor Toff standing there like, you have to brush him everyday. He sheds. I’ve got a whole other defence man in my living room that’s how bad he goddam sheds.
We can, forever and ever. I love the half trained husky agenda. To be clear, reader, we're toeing the line of him being Misa's literal dog and also human boyfriend. Sam often exists within that beautiful grey area
Toff didn't want a dog. Stella is perfect and can do no wrong. Doesn't shed, barely barks unless it's like in a cute way, eats a microscopic amount of kibble and treats, fits in Toff's hand. She's great. They don't need another dog.
Then Misa shows up with this fucking guy. First he says it's temporary, he doesn't have a home, it's just dinner and maybe he'll sleep over a couple nights. The alleged hotel room booking probably never even existed. If Sam isn't tailing Misa around the house or poking his head in every shelf of the kitchen then he's following Cat on her walks with Stella. It's constant. Then Cat gets all soft on him. Makes a vet appointment, starts petting him on the head.
The hair and shedding and grooming is A Thing™ The couch is covered in an ever growing layer of distinctly straight, dark hair. Their first solution was to shave him?? Now the hair is still everywhere it's just shorter and more difficult to vacuum. Worser, he almost convinces Misa to shave his own head too. That would look stupid and probably make them bond further in some bald cult-y way. Absolutely not happening.
He barks. At everything. Toff walks through the door of his own house and gets barked at. This starts a strict training campaign of "if he's going to be here all the time he needs to be calm" to which Misa started "praising him" for "calm behavior". NOT HELPING. Now when Sam does something completely normal and mundane like putting his Toff's bowl that he used in the sink, he expects some big show of affection from Misa in front of god and everybody. He leaves the kitchen after every meal to climb in Misa's lap and rub their faces together. It's obscene. It seems like the only commands he's actually learned are "come here" and. That might be it
Misa defends it every time "dick is a good dog" stop calling him that. "Its how training works, you have to be nice before you can scold him or he'll run away" Factually incorrect! Toff scolds him every day and the thing has yet to leave for more than two days. Misa also starts using Toff's snacking salami as a "reward" which is bullshit. He eats cheerios off the floor. He does not need salami for sitting on the couch. It throws off the ratio of salami to cheese to crackers that Toff just fixed after a "mysterious" bite was taken out of his imported cheese overnight.
It's arguably worse when Misa isn't there. God forbid Sam comes crawling around downstairs when Michael is busy or out of the house completely. Instead of sitting on top of Misa on the couch, Sam stretches out every finger and toe just to take up as much space as physically possible. Rubbing his head on Toff's favorite throw pillow, coating it in hair again. Kicking his feet up on the armrest, or coffee table, or both. And he drools!! The aforementioned pillow has two, count em two, disgusting drool stains on one side because he moves in his sleep. Twitching and flailing and kicking his leg when he's dreaming. What a loser
