Ahhhhhhh this is long long overdue but you know when you want to cherish and savour something so you hold onto it? That is ALWAYS me whenever I see a chapter update and CMAR is the ANGSTIEST angst that continues to rip me apart more and more with every chapter, every word, every painstaking moment when the guys STILL DON'T KNOW. And only now...NOW Namjoon's realised that for over a DECADE everything they thought they knew, everything they assumed, every thing he and the rest of them inadverently caused by sending her BACK to the monster who abused and broke her....they don't even KNOW yet and I can FEEL the tension, my heart's thrumming MAD with the anticipation because as broken and bruised as CMAR makes me... I willingly surrender my heart to all the damage all over again. I can't wait to see how it'll pan out (and I know your writing is on pause which makes the wait all the more achingly ANGSTY and I'll wait forever for your art so 😖😖🤧 no rush EVER I hope you always know that despite everything because people who cherish your art and your writing and just YOU are such an amazing person...then they'll wait!)
And reading this chapter...like EVERY chapter makes my heart crumble but like I said I've entrusted the broken shards of my heart to you to do with as you will.
Reading this particular chapter and the aching scene with Mister Butler and her 🥺🥺 gave the title of this story a whole new meaning for me. Because Mister Butler would've ALLOWED her to cry a river's worth of grief and tears, held her through it and told her he loved her on the other end of it. Every chapter builds such emotional raw DEPTH but it really and truly struck me so deeply that he could've said those words to her.
"Cry me a river young miss. I'll love you anyways" something like that and just KNOWING him... how much he ached to protect her, how much he loved her... It just really and truly hit HARD 😭😭😭
Thank you so so much for writing and sharing and for always gifting us with your talent. I hope your comission works go well🥺💜 and always known we'll wait...I will wait FOREVER for this story and your writing.
Hope you're having a warm winter 🥺💜
bub!!! 😭😭😭😭 i always love it when you go in depth and tell me all the things you're thinking of when reading cmar bruh it gives me serotonin.
our y/n is struggling so hard. her chanting those false words of being mister butler's killer not only made namjoon go crazy but it made her go mad as well because for the longest time, her father gaslighted her into believing she was the killer and her saying those words to namjoon was like giving herself the punishment of not being able to save him because she regrets so much of what happened and she does feel guilty for being that person that held him back and made a little brother lose a big brother (because y/n knows to some extent of namjoon's own pain since he shared that part of himself with her in the past). it's honestly just really heart wrenching and i just want her to get closure already but that won't happen anytime soon 😭
also like i need some recs on some good groveling because i need the boys to GROVEL after abandoning y/n like that i literally searched up how to write good groveling but google stinks i need actual examples in books lmao.
cmar's on hold but my plans for it...next chapter's already made me cry

















