Self acceptance rant
You don’t have to read this, I just really wanted to rant a little thing. STOOOOORYTIME Sometimes you think you know your friends. Even worse, sometimes, they even think they know themselves. It works just like an engine, everything fits and works just fine until some shit happens and then it’s all a disaster. Today I had to face the shit. It was hard and brutal and I wanted to leave as soon as I noticed what happened. Thankfully I didn’t. I spoke up instead. You see, I’m not openly bisexual in my environment. Very little friends know, including people I met online. I only started feeling confortable with me being myself about a year ago, after several years of existencial conflicts and one big eight-month depression. Through this whole year, I always listened to my friend, lets call her, idk, Sara. She was always so open-minded and full of revolutionary thoughts and social justice commitment. It felt like if everyone was just like her our society would be entirely different. I wanted to come out to her, tell her how good her influence was in my toughest moments. Guess not so much now lol. We were having dinner at a friend’s house for her birthday. I was telling a funny story about how I had a dream in which i tried to make out with a girl but ended up kissing her eye instead, when then her face turned to me with full attention. She said: “A girl? Good thing you just kissed her in the eye then”. It felt like a scream, and everyone heard and looked at me. She didn’t even hesitated. She said it with disgust and looked at me like i just admitted to shoplift or something, when i only kissed a girl’s eye in a dream. I felt sick immediately. Not only I felt betrayed and lied to, I felt like all I had fought for, including accepting my true self, was pointless and out of the ordinary. I looked across the table to find two of my closest friends, who know about my sexuality, staring at me with eyes that said you fucking put her in her place or i will. I looked directly at Sarah and said. “That was homophobic and wrong” I had already lost it before the next sentence: “I’m looking at you, yeah, I’m looking at you so you stop”. She laughed it out and I had a terrible rest of the night. BUT THERE IS A BRIGHT SIDE OF THE STORY Just when I had arrived home after burning my head with questions, I decided to text one of the friends at the other side of the table, let’s call her Beyoncé cause she is a goddess. Right after sending my first text I get a response saying that she was just about to text me and that Sara was an idiot. I felt good instantly, and after talking for a while Bey made me realize once again that I’m just me and that’s perfectly fine, and if Sara or anyone else has a problem then it has nothing to do with me. Sara, you can stick your fake trashy social-justice bullshit appearance right up your ass, I don’t fucking care anymore. Real friends are always there for you and they accept you no matter what, always remember this.