Discover Top Posts Tagged with #push the bird

How do you show love?

My life is really hard you guys, my wife and I have two golden retrievers and one of them, Sophie, aka Lil Stink, absolutely loves me. I know she loves me because she licks me… a lot. This means one of two things, I either taste good all of the time (potentially true, but probably not) or she just really likes her Dad. We would all be so lucky to have someone in our lives love you as unconditionally as Sophie does me, but I have to be honest: she drives me nuts sometimes! I can’t tie my shoes, type on my laptop, use the restroom, or breath with out her incessantly licking me. Again, I live a hard life. #strugglebus. Here’s the thing, though: it is awesome that Sophie loves me. My issue is that the way she shows her love to me, I find annoying and off-putting. In fact, some days I could go without her showing me that she loves me. And, that is just sad because all adorable little Sophie wants is show me how much she loves me and licking me is how she expresses it. So my question to you is: how do you show your organization’s members, co-workers, etc. that you love and appreciate them? We all show love differently; and, we all like to be shown love differently, too. Some people would rather be told they did a good job over getting a hug. Others might not feel special because you bought them a gift, they would have rather you spent time with them and just talked. In order to find out how they like to be appreciated, ask! Don’t assume that you know the best way to make someone feel validated. A very simple thing you can do is have everyone on your team take Gary Chapman’s free and quick “5 Love Languages” test at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. Chapman breaks down the way we give and show into five categories: quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. After your team takes it, share with one another and make a note of how each person you are working with likes to be shown love so, when the time is right, you can truly make them feel appreciated. (Note: if physical touch is their number one, you might also want to write down their second choice…no need to make it awkward.) On that note, I am going to go tell Sophie the results of my Love Languages test.

-James Robilotta

Don't be a "Magic Shell" Leader

There isn’t much I love in this world more than ice cream. I currently live in a very small town in upstate New York that is surrounded by a lot of other small towns. All of them have 3 things in common: the smallest Post Office you’ve ever seen, more farm animals than people, and a small shack that sells soft-serve ice cream that is so good you want to slap someone. Whenever I pass one, my car somehow always pulls in and parks. Please, I’ve pushed little kids out

of the way while running and yelling for the ice cream truck to stop. Friends, I am serious. The only reason I’m not eating ice cream right now is because I’m on a plane. I’ll take ice cream however I can get it. Waffle cone? Done. Sundae? Done. In my hand? Done. I can’t keep it in the house because I can’t keep it out of my mouth. Alright, I’m not that crazy but ice cream and I are quite good friends. I treat it well and always give it the best toppings culminating with rainbow sprinkles so it looks jazzy. One of my favorite toppings is “Magic Shell.” You know, the chocolate syrup that you pour on your ice cream and it instantly hardens creating a heavenly helmet for your sundae. Recently, while eating ice cream, I thought about how it feels like some people are wearing “magic shells.” They cover their true selves with a “shell” or shield because they think they have to succeed. They think that if they show their true personality people will judge them and think less of them. This is a survival method for the insecure. I know because I still do it from time to time. This a detrimental approach for leaders. The trust building in relationships that stems from authentic conversations far outweighs the importance of temporarily looking good when it comes to long-term success. Don't be the kind of person who jumps in front of the parade and steals all of the credit. If we are going to effectively lead our peers then we must show them that we are human, we make mistakes just like everyone else. We shouldn’t be afraid to let people in - as scary as that might be. It’s OK if you don’t know everything, it’s OK if you’ve messed up, we’ve all done it and that’s what makes us human… its what helps us grow. Just remember that if you’re too busy trying to “fake it till ya make it” then you are missing out on opportunities to build real relationships, with real people, without the pressure or distraction of being inauthentic. So instead, surround yourself with people who have strengths you lack so that you can openly and honestly learn and grow together. Take a risk - take off your magic shell. -James Robilotta