#pusillanimus

[writesromance-blog1]

@pusillanimus  liked  !

          “  ya  know  somethin’  ---  doesn’t  it  feel  kinda  like  nobody’s  gettin’  along  anymore ?  seems  like  so  much  more  hostility  than  normal.  i  don’t  think  dutch  even  knows  what  we’re  doin’  anymore.  ”

[derlinde-blog]

🌹

               ❝      you   always   were   a   romantic  ,      ❞      he   announces  ,     his   fingers   wrapping   carefully   around   the   thorned   stems   of   the   flowers .       it   was   often   like   this .      josiah   would   disappear  ,     for   however   long   was   just   a   guessing   game  ,     but   he   always   came   back   with   something .       it   was   like   an   apology   in   itself .

               ❝      suppose   that’s   why   i   find   it   so   easy   to   forgive   you .     ❞  

[matteredloyaltya]

💨

Random Acts Meme – no longer accepting            💨catch my muse in a lie

@pusillanimus

    Trelawny was a man of TALENTS,one Arthur found both endlessly frustrating yet amusingat the same time. More of the first than the second, but there wasthe off time. Talking was usually the first one that came to mind,the Englishman often talking more than what Arthur felt wasnecessary, sometimes to the point of feeling like nothing wasactually being said. In the moment, that seemed to be thecase. He really wasn’t one to be front and center when it came tosocializing, so naturally a setting like this screamed Trelawnymore than it did Morgan. He was often left to be the strongarm, something he was good at, but even he had a good sense forbullshit.

    Really, in a room like this, it was allhe could really hear. More fluff than information, so,naturally, his patience was getting pressed. He could hear hiscompanion talking beside him, Arthur’s focus falling in and out ofthe conversation, but something caught his interest. Some sort ofpromise, something that even Arthur would have a hard time buying,but the people around them didn’t seem all to willing to say anythingif they caught on to that.

    So, when they stepped away, Arthurfound himself leaning into Josiah’s side somewhat as he spoke up. Hewas still somewhat tense, but he couldn’t help the light amusementthat leaked in around the edges.

    “They’re dumber than they look orthey’re too polite to say anythin’ ‘bout what you just said, can’tdecide which,” he muttered, “Either way, I’m stayin’ back towatch when y’ get got fer lack of proof.”

[derlinde-blog]

i can hear dutch in every single word you write? i love how careful you are on your portrayal and how you analyze him and make him a more human, a more tridimmensional character. you're so passionate about him and it shows, i love talking to you about dutch and having you as a writing partner is a huge pleasure. thats it bye

im crying bless u :( :( i love u 

[matteredloyaltya]

meta about eliza and isaac,,

send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on – tad selective, still accepting

@pusillanimus

PSA: this headcanon talks about child death, so please be aware of that going forward. It is also rather spoiler heavy. I hope the read-more works on mobile. 

This is such a loaded topic, and one Ihaven’t seen really talked about in depth. It’s hard to figure outwhere I want to start and what to include, as I know I’ll probablymiss some things or come back in later headcanons to mention themagain. However, Eliza and Issac had such huge impacts on Arthur’slife, both in their existence and their loss. However, the way it’shandled in the game makes it seem like it’s less so, and while thiscould be an indicator that this was another thing that was writtenpoorly/handled poorly in the game, yet, at the same time, I feel itsays something to Arthur’s personality in that as well.

I don’t believe that Eliza was thegrand love of Arthur’s life, as I believe that belongs to Mary, butthe way it’s explained by Arthur himself to Rains Fall is that itreally sounds like neither of them were expecting Issac to come aboutin the way that he did. As Arthur says, it sounded like the both ofthem were still “kids” as it was—I believe Eliza was said to be19 (?), and I figure Arthur wasn’t much older himself at the time.Plus, Arthur’s life didn’t allow him to settle, and it’s apparentthat he didn’t choose to do so. It seemed like he was coming andgoing from their home after Issac was born. However, it wasn’t thatArthur didn’t hold great affection for them both—he certainly did,and made a point of visiting when he was able, but as with the themein his relationships, he still remained largely with the gang. (Itmakes me wonder if he’d told anybody in the gang at the time, itwouldn’t surprise me if Hosea and/or Dutch knew, as they’re thebigger parental figures in Arthur’s life. However, it’s likely hekept it from gossip around camp if only to keep them safer.) At somepoint, he probably thought that he could make it work—he knew wherethey were at most times, he could ride out to visit when he could. Idon’t think Arthur and Eliza married at any point, despite what waslikely a pressure to do so during that time period, but it soundslike they weren’t together all that long before her and Issac’sdeaths.

In the years where he got to see Issacand witness his growth, despite likely not being around for everymoment of it, it changed Arthur in a fundamental way. Acknowledginghimself as being a father and this child as being his, he experienceda very different type of love that comes about with that—which hehad gotten from various unconventional sources in his life, but neverhad been on the other end of that up until that point. Arthur’sfamily up until then had been largely not blood related to him, asArthur’s mother had passed when he was young and in regards to hisfather, despite how frustratingly conflicted he feels about hismemories of him, Arthur says that he was a bastard who stuck aroundthem for far too long. From his suggestion, it’s likely he saw himhang, too. So, now he’s got this child that’s his own and, havinggrown up under extremely poor conditions in regards to bothenvironment and parental aspects are concerned, it likely scared hima lot at first. He wasn’t leaving the life he had currently beenleaving, even though a part of him knew he likely should have doneso, but at the time he figured that he could balance both. Be therefor both the gang and for his kid, and Arthur loved that kid. Helikely saw both good and bad, and he remembers him fondly. Itwouldn’t have surprised me if things were sour between at least Elizaand him at points, considering she was left to raise this kid that hesaw from the times he would come and go from the home. It’s hard tospeculate because Arthur doesn’t say much on the nature of his andEliza’s relationship, but it’s not too hard to guess. Still, Arthurfelt at the time that he was trying enough in keeping a foot in both worlds.

However, as it would turn out, it endedtragically.

As Arthur says in that conversationwith Rains Fall, coming back to the house to find the two crosses outfront left him with a pain he’d never felt before. He knows that theywere killed in a robbery—and the ten dollars that ended theirlives, but Arthur wasn’t present for it. He showed up after they weredead to see the grave markers—it’s uncertain if he knew beforehandor if he was just coming up for a visit, but from the way it sounds,it’s likely he didn’t know. That’s a weight that he always carrieswith him and will always effect his views on fatherhood and startinga family. Yet, at the same time, it’s something that he doesn’treally mention. Again, game mechanics/writing are also at play here,but the fact that you have to make a choice to go with Rains Fall,and then a second choice to talk about Arthur’s son over his father,it’s something that can be missed about him. Yet, in how I seeArthur, he’s not completely in touch with his own emotions—especiallyregarding past traumas and his past in general outside of the gang.It feels like something he avoids talking about it to just anybody,he mentions twice in the game, and only in some detail to Rains Fall.At that point, Arthur had such respect for Rains Fall and hisopinions that it seemed natural to him to talk about Issac and Elizain a small way then, but he never got too into the whole of it. Hementioned how he met Eliza, said a few words about her and Issac, andmentioned how it ended.

So, it strikes me as yet another thinghe’s buried for a long time and it wouldn’t surprise me if only aselect few really knew about them or what happened to them. Hecarries a lot of blame and guilt for what happened, and while I believe he’sgot a bit of a parental instinct in him in a small way, he’d bescared to father another child at the fear of having to relive thatand, at absolute worst, have it happen again. Really, it also buys into his self-belief that he doesn’t deserve good things because he isn’t a good man, and in regards to Issac that he wasn’t a good father. Whenever something like that comes his way, he expects it to leave or get taken from him. 

So, all in all, Elizaand Issac were two important figures in Arthur’s life, as short atime he had with them both. Yet, they are two people he doesn’t talkabout all that often because he would rather avoid digging up all thenegative emotions associated with what happened to them both. Thepain of losing two people he loved and cared for, one of which beinghis own son, it’s a deep pain in him that he avoids really grapplingwith if he can. There’s some acceptance in him that allows him tospeak of the events to certain people, but anything in depth mightsee a change in that.

[morhgan-a]

🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆

dud E  you  already  know  this  but  i  adore  you  and  stan  you  &  all  of  your  blogs  &  this  means  everything  to  me  tbvh  !!!   ♥♥ ♥

🏆     𝐈𝐅     𝐘𝐎𝐔     𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄     𝐌𝐘     𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋     𝐎𝐅     𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐑 .

[staggeredlee]

❝ rigged games are the easiest to beat. ❞

* AMERICAN GODS MEME : OPEN

        sheriff “bobby  calloway” laughed,  showing   off   rows   of   large   teeth   at   the   other   man while   his   fingers   finished   rolling   up   a   cigarette.  lee   met   a   man   up   in   north   dakota   once   who   had  told   him   that   his   smile   didn’t   bring   any   comfort  to   him,   so   much   so   it   reminded   the   stranger  of chimpanzees. those  apes   showed   their   teeth   as   a WARNING to  other   members   of   their   kind   in   order   to   inform  them   that   some   fucked   up   shit WAS  ABOUT   TO   GO   DOWN.            ❝     well   if   that   ain’t  the   truth.     ❞         stagger  agreed   before   placing   the   rolled   tobacco   between   his  lips,   his   hands   now   busying   themselves   with   shuffling  a   deck   of   cards.   his   fingers   seemed   to   flick   cards in   and   out   of   existence,   piling   and   dividing   the  deck   so   quickly,   one   would   think THIS was  what   he   did   for   a   living.               ❝    problem   is,   my   brother,   this   game   ain’t  rigged. i’m  just   that   darn   good.    ❞         a   chuckle   followed.   this   time  the   smile   didn’t   quite   reach   his   eyes.   they   were  too   focused   on   watching   josiah’s   reaction.  something HUNGRY  WAITED   THERE in  the   depths   of   stagger   lee’s   being.   a   desire   to  test   his   luck,   watch   the   universe   bend   and   shift  between   the   aces   in   his   hand. stag  was   a   sore   loser. but  he   was   even   a SORER  WINNER.            ❝     what   you   say, magic  fingers   ?    ❞         he   slammed   the   cards   down   onto  the   table   between   them,   spreading   them   out   in   one  perfect   curve   that   followed   the   gesture   of   his   hand. an   unlit   cigarette   dangled   from   his   mouth   ...   his  addiction   to   nicotine   could   never COMPETE with  the   complicated   love   affair   he’d   always   had   with  gambling.   lips   curled   deviously   at   josiah.

                                       ❝     wanna  make   a   bet   with   uncle   lee?     ❞        

[nodriscoll-blog]

👗

     IT’S   AFTER   HIS   FIRST   BATH   IN   THE         lake  by  the  new  camp  that  he  all  but  throws  on  his  clothes  and  is  about  to  dart  off  towards  the  horses  before  anyone  can  chastise  him  for  slacking  off.            however,            a  hand on  his  arm  stops  him  and  kieran  inwardly  groans,            turning  around  to  tell  grimshaw  or  bell  or  whoever  it  is  that  he  is  about  to  get  to  work.            —–     the  face  that  greets  him  is  an  unexpected  one         (  though  kieran  almost  releases  a  sigh  of  relief   )         the  man  seems  cheerful,            slim  but  assured  smile  that  distracts  the  younger  for  a  moment,            body  still  and  lips  parting  to  ask,            when  he  feels  the  lengths  of  his  neckcloth  lifted  from  where  they’ve  hung,            loose  and  undone  upon  his  chest.            head  is  lowered  to  see  the  other’s  hands  start  to  straighten  the  material,            then  cross  its  ends  as  if  to  tie  a  knot.            “   that  really  ain’t—–            it’s  gonna  come  undone  again,            mister …   ”            he  begins  unsurely,            upon  understanding  what  trelawny’s  doing.            though  a  small  smile  does  come  through  when  he  looks  back  up.            “   but,            uh,            thank  you  !            thank  you  kindly.   ”

*   TOUCH MEME  ( adjusting their clothes )    /    @pusillanimus