Tips from the Designated Older Brother
Mental health is so hard to deal with and I am not qualified in any way but I've picked up a few things over the years that can help a lot. This may not always work but it's something I've found quite useful when dealing with myself and others.
Whenever my brother (or anyone else) says 'I want to die' or anything similar, the first thing I always ask is why. Because if you can figure out why, you can usually figure out how to change that or how the situation could change. Or if there's nothing that can be done, just comfort words are always helpful too. Not 'don't cry, it's not that bad' that shit is never good. More 'it's ok to be upset, you have every right to feel this way, I'm right here ok?'
Unfortunately, especially when I'm dealing with my brother, the answer to 'why' is usually 'everything.' So then I'll ask him to be more specific. If the answer doesn't change (this is the bit that changes for everyone), I'll hug him, make sure he feels safe and comfortable and then ask again. This is usually the point where he'll tell me what's wrong.
You will have to change your response for every person and every situation. For example, if it's a conversation online/over the phone/etc the hugging thing will obviously be harder. This is when comfort words come in handy.
These are always helpful, although they may need to be adapted for that particular situation.
Some people will need someone to just listen. Some people will need someone who can help them come up with a solution. Some people will need a bit of space. Some people will need a distraction. If possible, please give them exactly what they need.
Do not tell them to stop crying or that what they're feeling is wrong in any way because emotions are hard and they need an outlet.
Having said all of this, please, and I cannot stress this enough, put yourself first.
Helping others is great!!! But don't do anything that could harm you in anyway. I'm always here if you or anyone you know needs help.
I'll probably add to this post as I think of more things to say.
Take care of yourselves, lovelies.
