#qaf rewatch

[claudiabian]

brian whenever justin is upset after/someone mentions his accident

[elementalmoments]

I fixed it. Welcome to my empirically correct headcanon.

“You didn't return them?”

“I didn't return them.”

Justin closed the ring box gently and set it down. He’d seen the expression on Brian’s face before. He hadn’t known it was heartbreak then, maybe he hadn’t known how to look. He could see it now. It echoed the dull thud of his own heart, the pressing ache in his chest that smothered the flame of excitement about going to New York, turning the promise to ash. What would his success be worth, if this was the price? 

“Come with me,” Justin said, and the words were out of his mouth before he’d realized he was speaking. 

Brian lifted his chin, eyes going sharp. 

“Come with me,” Justin said again, with more conviction. He took a step closer, resting a hand on Brian’s chest. “We don't need rings or vows to prove that we love each other. We already know that. So fuck getting married, fuck what society thinks we should be, the suburban life, any of it. The only thing that matters to me is being with you. I don’t want this without you.” 

Brian looked down at his chest and covered Justin’s hand with his. His tongue swept out to wet his lips, and Justin watched him thinking, processing. 

“I have Kinnetik,” Brian said, when he finally looked up. His face was guarded, a familiar mask. Justin recognized this one, he thought of it as Brian’s make me an offer face. 

Justin nodded. “I know,” he said. “But Ted could be your office manager here while you grow the business from New York. Just imagine the networking opportunities you’ll have. You can fly back to Pittsburgh when they need you here.”

“There are a lot of clubs in New York,” Brian said. Now he was defiant, chin high. Justin only minded their height difference when Brian used it to create distance between them. He reached up and hooked a hand around the back of Brian’s neck, squeezing gently. Brian gentled into his touch, and Justin felt a swell of fondness that made it hard to speak. 

“I don’t expect you not to go out,” he said. 

A laugh, then. A curled lip. “So what changes?” Brian said. “That was never enough for you before.” 

“This would be different,” Justin said. “You’d come to my art shows as my hot, sexy, devoted boyfriend, and I’d be your arm candy at your business functions and we’d come back for Thanksgiving dinner at my mom’s and I won’t ask you to garden or cuddle and you won’t ask me to pretend you’re not the most important person in my life.”

A long pause, but Brian lowered his head until their foreheads almost touched, until his hair brushed Justin’s face. Hope flared in Justin’s chest; he hadn’t said no yet.

“You should know,” Brian said quietly, “I don’t actually mind cuddling with you.” A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

Justin huffed a laugh. “Okay,” he said, fighting a losing battle against his own smile. “Okay, so we can cuddle. In our apartment in New York.” 

At last a barely perceptible movement, a nod, their foreheads bumping. “Okay,” Brian said, leaning in and capturing Justin’s mouth with his. “Let’s go to New York.”

[yeah-sure-amanda]

I’m on the part of my rewatch when Ethan shows up. 

[elementalmoments]

"The thumpa-thumpa goes on"???? I feel like I'm having a cardiac event I'm so mad I'm shaking did the last five seasons mean NOTHING how do you fuck an ending this badly?

[claudiabian]

[elementalmoments]

I am in physical pain I have emotionally regressed to middle school I was crying in the grocery store this morning I'm getting songs I had on my MySpace page stuck in my head what in the deep-seated Emotional Wound is this bullshit I am counting episodes does it get better???

[claudiabian]

[elementalmoments]

So there's a song all of you know that I suspect few of you know the title of - Kernkraft 400 by Zombie Nation.

It played briefly in this episode of QAF and my dog, who hates sports noises, immediately departed the room. The way I died laughing. Poor buddy is traumatized.