Maybe it's during the Academy that Jim and Len figure out they have some kind of significance to each other. (It's mid way through year two and several people asked if they're dating.) This awareness is brought on when they're together one of the times the topic of them.being an item is brought up.
But they're busy, they're trying to get out in three years, they don't have time to figure that out. They'll figure it out later.
Then Nero happens and they get their ship and they're busy, they have other things on their mind. They'll figure it out later. They have time.
Then Khan happens. Then Jim dies. And they're confronted with being out of time, with the unknown of time. And they decide to try to figure it out.
But neither of them really have the words for it. They're not particularly "attracted" to each other, in the typical sense, but they are attached to each other. There's something there that's...complicated.
They've chosen to love one another, the thing time and time again, Len's daddy said would be the thing to sustain a relationship long after the butterflies died down. But neither knows if the butterflies were ever there in the beginning. Or if love had been the choice all along.
Kissing doesn't feel bad or awkward, but there isn't exactly the heated, passionate desire for it either. And there's not really a strong desire for a more physical relationship beyond the occasional cheek and forehead kisses that just happen, that have been just happening for a while.
In the end it continues to go unnamed because they just can't figured it out. They have each other and they need each other and they crave each other's presence, just...not in the way people would assume when they hear "crave". They're not together, they just...are.
Here, have a teaser for It’s Pride, Y’all! In exchange, please pressure me to finish it tomorrow. It’s been two years in the making and I need it DONE!
"Hey, don't leave your party yet! I have another gift!" Jim exclaimed as he proudly, albeit clumsily, presented Leonard with a wrapped box.
Leonard lifted an eyebrow but started removing the paper and removing the lid. Whatever it was, it looked like a small bit of clothing. It had the bi-pride flag and some straps. Curious, he lifted it from the box and dangled it by one of the straps. "A jockstrap?"
"Yeah, it'll make your ass look great!"
"Leonard's posterior is aesthetically pleasing regardless of what he wears," Spock interrupted.
"You and I both know that's a lie, you've seen his medical whites. Does nothing for his ass. Erases it completely." Jim made a sour face like he was disgusted by the mere thought. "Pancake ass Bones."
It's not actually that relevant, but I was inspired once more by @trekkele 's post.
"Fussy" isn't typically applied to Jim Kirk. Genius, arrogant, flirty, cavalier. Those are words people think of when they think of Jim Kirk.
"Fussy" is a Bones word. Grumpy, jaded, clever- sure, but fussy. He quickly became known for carrying a first aid kit in his backpack at the Academy. (Gaila actually holds the record for needing it the most, but that's another shpeal.)
But, in fairness, Leonard McCoy is a doctor, a healer, of course they're going to be fussy over the health of their friends. But for all his fussing, it has never been something he got much of himself. It's something that makes his innards squirm whenever it's turned on him.
Something Jim quickly learned about the same time Len was learning just how fussy Jim could be.
Once he learned about Tarsus though... well, after that he tried to be more tolerant of Jim's fussing. After all, if there was one thing Len understood it was the need to know the person he was tending was going to be ok.
So he tried to let Jim fuss, he really did.
But boy howdy was it uncomfortable.
To Jim it was second nature. On Tarsus he never thought twice about holding one of his kids when they'd had a nightmare, whether they fully woke from it our not; it was almost reflexive that he would pull them into his arms and curl protectively around them.
And there was something about Bones that set off those instincts again.
But Len wasn't used to it. He'd never really grown out of night terrors, and even before the Academy nightmares weren't uncommon for him. After a year or so he'd taken to sleeping in the guest room if it felt like it might be a bad night or if he woke up in the middle of the night so as not to disturb Jocelyn. (He told Jim later that it was his idea, Jim didn't bother to call him out on the lie.)
So the first time Jim woke to hear distressed muttering and whimpers coming from Len's side of the room he didn't even think twice about huddling into bed with him and singing an old lullaby, one that his kids had taught him in another lifetime. It never even entered his mind to leave Len's side even after he had calmed.
It nearly gave Len a heart attack the next morning.
It takes time, but it also gets easier with time. Eventually Len figures out that all Jim's fussing and doting are just parts of the kid's nature and he genuinely doesn't expect any reciprocation.
Which is a relief and a change from Len is used to, and as they both grow and heal from their pasts, it becomes easier to turn the fussing into doting.
So years after Len had ended up a heap on the floor after waking up to unfamiliar arms wrapped over him, it's second nature for them to search each other out when in need of comfort. When they're worried it's going to be a bad night, it's second nature for them to settle into bed next to one another. It even becomes less and less surprising for one to be asleep in the other's lap in a rec room while the other watches a movie. (This one always melts Uhura, especially when it's Len that's asleep. She remembers how back at the Academy how squirmy Len would get if he started getting too drowsy in public.)
It's true, it confuses a lot of ensigns, but for the crew that's been there a while, they just know that's how it is.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 4/4
Fandom: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: QPR McKirk
Characters: Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Jim Kirk
Additional Tags: Non-Graphic Violence, Serious Injuries, Blood and Injury, Discussion of Past Abuse, Discussions of Suicide, Implied Past Suicidal Ideation, references to events of into darkness, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending
Summary:
When Bones is seriously injured on an away mission and facing down death, he makes a decision that leaves Jim feeling hurt and afraid for his friend. And Len finds he has fears of his own to deal with.
In celebration of me realizing I have 200 followers, here’s a new fic! I say new, more like finally finishing an old one. Thank you again to @beauty-grace-outer-space for providing the prompt that inspired this fic. You are an absolute champion, my friend. And thank you to everyone who has decided to tag along with me on this blog.
Hey, @beauty-grace-outer-space, remember that headcanon you had about Len calling Jim by endearments? It broke my writer's block.
Jim smiled affectionately and shook his head when he stepped into the dorm to find Bones sitting on the floor, his head pillowed on the low coffee table in front of him, and snoring lightly. Quietly as he could, he set his bag on the floor and slipped out of his boots. Of course, Bones wasn't as light of a sleeper as Jim was and he probably could have thrown his shoes at the wall and Bones would be none the wiser.
Jim padded softly next to Len and crouched down. "Hey," he said softly before resting a hand on Len's back. "Let's get you to bed, pal."
"Huh?" Leonard jolted upright when Jim tried to careful pull him backs. "S'rry. Fell 'sleep," he mumbled when he noticed Jim.
"Yeah, you did. C'mon, pal, put your arm around me." The men stood together, though Jim had to hold Len steady as he swayed a little on his feet. He half considered asking how the fever was, but considering how he had found the good doctor, Jim guessed it was still in full swing.
Jim made Len sit on the foot of the bed while he turned down the blankets.
"C'n stand, kid," Leonard complained. "Not gonna f'll ov'r."
"I'm not gonna risk it." Jim answered and gingerly hauled Len to his feet enough to help him transition to his normal spot in bed. Jim pulled the blanket up around Len's shoulder as the older man settled in on his side with a contented sigh. Jim chuckled. "Bet that's a lot more comfy than the floor."
"Mhm," Len agreed softly. "Thanks, sweetheart," he mumbled and patted Jim's hand.
Jim stood for a moment, frozen in the mostly darkened room, trying to process what had just happened.
It wasn't the first time he'd tucked Len into bed- Jim doubted if he'd ever forget that, Bones had woken up with a nasty migraine and he offered to go find him some ice packs, without even thinking he'd kissed Len's forehead before he left the room, like he'd done so many times with his kids a lifetime ago. Len had graciously brushed it off, and in more recent month they had become more comfortable with offers of physical affection. Half side hugs, and pats on the back had somehow become almost a standard greeting for them, and it wasn't uncommon for Len to ruffle his hair, or for Jim to jab at Len's ribs, those sorts of things that were meant to be casual touches between friends.
But for the life of him Jim couldn't think of Len ever calling him anything but "kid" aside from his name. And really, when he thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time someone had used an endearment with him and meant it as such. He was sure his mother must have when he was very little, it seemed like a standard thing mother's were supposed to do, and he wanted to think well of her, so he imagined she must have called him "sweetheart" sometime. And then there were the nurses after Tarsus. But that was more because they couldn't be bothered to remember his name, so "sweetie" it was.
Jim shook his head. He was overthinking things. Bones was obviously exhausted and obviously unwell. Calling him sweetheart was clearly just a slip of the tongue. Slip if the tongue or not, Jim couldn't deny that there was something about that made him feel warm inside. It was similar to the way Pike could call him "James" and still make him feel wanted and cared for and he wanted to hear it again. But it was a slip of the tongue, so Jim made peace, as best he could, with the fact that he likely wouldn't hear it again without being in a similar situation. And that wasn't something he'd ever wish on Bones, fevers had a way of making Jim nervous like few things did. Jim sighed a little before planting a kiss on Bones's too warm brow.
I had one of those ridiculous ideas that probably means I need to got to bed. But consider, the crew gets granted shore leave and one of the things that comes up is high UV levels, so naturally Len is going on about making sure everyone has sunscreen at bare minimum, and ideally a hat and shades.
So he goes to grab his own hat, an old tattered Starfleet Alumni baseball cap that has definitely seen better days, but all he can find is brown cowboy hat.
Jim swears up and down the wall that he has no clue where it came from, but also spends the rest of the day humming "Gone Country" when ever Len's around.
@beauty-grace-outer-space I believe you made a request?
He never was good at hand to hand, Len thought ruefully as he pressed his hand against his side. He groaned at the pressure on the gaping wound just under his ribs. He had to keep pressure, however bad it hurt, he had to keep pressure.
Not that it would really do him much good. He had minutes, if he was lucky.
He'd never had much luck.
Leonard grit his teeth, that had always been Jim.
Jim.
This would kill him. Leonard snorted at himself, of all the things in life he'd felt guilty for he'd never expected his death to be on that list.
Still.
Leonard managed to tug out his communicator. "Jim, ya there?"
"Bones! There you are! The away team lost sight of you. Where'd you go?"
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Sorry. I, uh, I just took a spill-"
"Are you hurt?" Jim demanded.
"Jim, relax. I'm- I'm alright."
"You're lying."
"Jim, I'm just a little out of breath."
There was a pause. "You hit your head didn't you?"
Len chuckled. "Yeah, I did. But really, I'm ok. I'll be up in just a minute." He could practically see Jim shaking his head in amused frustration. Half a smirk on that goofy face of his, trying to convince himself he was more annoyed at the situation than he actually was. Len had never realized just how much he enjoyed getting Jim to make that face. It wasn't often that he got to do it. Usually it was the other way around. It was petty, but Len did feel pretty smug about it.
"You're ok though?" Jim questioned.
"Right as rain." Leonard grinned when Jim laughed.
"Thought I told you no more metaphors."
"Ah, well, you know me. Ever the rebellious one."
"You've done maybe two rebellious things in your life."
"Hey!" Len shot back in faux indignation. "I snuck your sorry tail onto the Enterprise, didn't I?"
"Fine, three." Jim probably rolled his eyes at that. Len let out a heavy sigh. He'd never see those glassy blue eyes again. "Bones, what's wrong?"
"Nothin'!" Len tried to sound irritated, normally it came easily, right now he felt guilty for it. He didn't want the last thing he said to Jim to be snappy. "What, suddenly I'm not allowed to be frustrated at taking a spill?"
There was another pause, Len was sure he had overplayed his hand. "Yeah, you definitely have a concussion."
"Jim, I'm a doctor. I think I'd know when somethin' was wrong with me."
"Oh, yeah? Like that time you definitely didn't have pneumonia?"
"Can it, kid, that was one time."
"Yeah, one time that landed you in the hospital for two days."
"You're starting to sound like me, kid."
"Yeah, well, you know what they say about imitation."
"I love you too, Jim, but I don't plan on pickin' up all your bad habits."
"You smuggled me onto starship while I was on probation," Jim pointed out.
There wasn't much time at all now. "I said 'all's. Hey, look, Jim. I'm gonna start heading to the rendezvous point. I'll- I'll see you soon, ok?"
"Keep me updated on your progress. Don't want you falling with a concussion," Jim sounded half serious.
"Yeah, alright. I still don't have a concussion though, " Len sighed. "See ya soon, Jim, love you."
Jim snorted. "Sure you don't. Love you too, Bones. See you soon."
The communicator slipped from Len's hand. He didn't realize how heavy it was till he wasn't holding it anymore. He looked at his bloody wound and tears started down his cheeks. He'd almost even convinced himself he'd be up and around to meet the rest of the away team. He felt bad for lying to Jim, but it felt like kinder thing to do. Help was too far away. There was no sense in scaring the kid. At least they'd gotten to talk one last time. At least he'd gotten to hear Jim's voice. Len's chest tightened he should've thanked Jim for his nickname. It had taken him a while to come around to it, but he really did like Jim calling him 'Bones', it had given him a new sense of identity, it was like permission somehow to start over again. Jim had taken him in with all his baggage, and helped him start over despite all the baggage Jim carried on his own. There was an understanding between them, but now... Leonard wished he'd said thank you for all that. His eyes fluttered as he struggled to keep them open. At least he'd gotten to say "I love you" one last time.
